(Article originally published on 22 February 2007)
In trying to keep up with the spirit of “love”, however twisted it is, here’s my presentation of what makes a perfect man. Yes, he exists. You just need to put him together.
This piece was inspired by all the singles in blogiwood that are on that journey to finding the perfect man, only coz they are "tired” of being alone.
Gals, you will not wait till eternity before you meet him, he is here. Finding him might prove to be mission impossible though, so because I’m not about to wait for no man, I’ll make my own damn man & he better be “ready” and just waiting for my sexy self to get home.
• Karabo Moroka in Generations is a beautiful woman (ok, before she got preggers), rich, successful, shrewd business sense, well mannered but she’s always had way too many man problems.
• Siyanda Mazibuko in Isidingo is just as smart, successful & dignified but she’s after a married man.
• Akua in Society was all of the above combined and she settled for a “toyboy”.
• Brooke Logan in B&B is another good example of the above profile but she can’t stay with one man for longer than 5 minutes
Ok, so clearly TV characters are not having luck, let’s look at real life scenarios. You know all about them so I won’t elaborate.
• Halle Berry. Just damn!
• Cameron Diaz. Oh dear.
• The shame that is Mel B, after her Eddie Murphy “I ain’t yo baby daddy” situation.
• Angelina Jolie, will it last this time?
• Jennifer Aniston. Why did it end?
You look at yourself in the mirror and go:
"Woman, why are you alone? Why can’t you keep a man? What is wrong with you?"
The funny thing is you always have options but though you don’t want to be, you end up alone. “What options?”, I hear you ask. Well, there is always:
• The cheating ex that still wants you back, only to cheat on you with your best friend again
• The good looking cute boy whose only flaw is the year he was born. Oh, and the fact that he has a "young" girlfriend.
• The loaded/rich guy/handsome who remembers that he wants you only when he sees you
• The married man (yeah, there's always that one who's having "problems with his wife, or they are separated, you know the drill)
• The celebrity guy who’s sleeping with everybody else
• The caring, loving man who genuinely loves you and would marry you without thinking twice. Problem is you think he’s “not your type” and you’ll be dead before being seen anywhere with him.
• The guy you adore, pity he doesn’t see anything beyond your sexy behind. That’s all he wants to do to you, “smack it!”.
Tough choice, what do you do? You know you can’t live without a brotha, they are the air we breathe.
I’ve found mine, good luck in finding yours but I’ll be nice enough to tell you how I “got” my PERFECT man. This was the combination:
Terence Howard’s eyes
Trevor Noah’s smile
Khaphela’s Humility
Usher’s voice
Pictured with his supposed new "sugar mommy"...yho!
Taye Diggs’ teeth
Guffy’s “forever young’ look
Robert Ri’chard’s ultra sexy butt
Rudeboy Paul's nose
Boris Kodjoe’s height
Lungsta’s friendly nature
Bad Boy T’s wit
Proverb’s lyrical prowess
DJ Fresh’s confidence
Obviously I can only talk about Zola’s heart of gold
Fiddy’s Arms
Chris Brown's dance moves...they might come in handy:)
Kabelo's Rhythm
Siyabonga’s fashion sense
Diddy’s MONEY
Like I said, he's MY man and no, you may not borrow him for one night.
What do you think of my perfect man? Ain't he just...perfect?
Holler!!