After being a very influential player in Survivor Guatemala and making it to the final three Rafe Judkins was ousted from the game after he told Danni it was fine if she didn’t keep her promise of taking him to the final two.
Convinced that he was the winner of the season before it happened I caught up with him within the hour of seeing him whacked, convinced he'd made a mega mistake with how he handled things:
Tashi: I assume that if you were to go back and do it again the first thing you’d do differently is that you wouldn’t tell Danni it was so okay not to keep her promise to you.
Rafe: You know, everybody says that, but if I went back I really would do that again just because that was what Danni and my relationship was. We’d been very honest with each other ‘cos we kinda formed an alliance - basically as soon as we met each other we just really connected and could trust each other.
She’d tell me everything that was going on and I’d tell her everything that was going on so right at the end it didn’t make any sense for our relationship for me to say: “You have to take me - you promised.” I don’t think it would have made her any more likely to take me.
I said: “I know it’s a horrible decision and I don’t want to make it any harder on you. You need to decide what you want to do. I’ll respect you either way. ”
Tashi: I thought you should have insisted and made her feel really bad.
Rafe: You could do that – but in all honesty I don’t know that that would have made me get to the end either. I think we both knew: “Oh crap, there’s no ways she could take me to the final two. It would have been suicide for her.”
My real mistake was maybe not voting her out earlier because once it came down to it and she won the immunity we both kinda knew she was gonna have to take Steph – but I still hoped she was going to take me.
Tashi: If you’d won the final Immunity who would you have taken?
Rafe: I would have taken Steph because that was always my promise to her. I promised Steph that I would go to the final two with her before I even met Danni. I’d explained that to Danni and told her the furthest I could take her was the final three.
That was part of the reason I felt a little uncomfortable demanding she take me to the final two ‘cos I would have voted her out too so it seemed hypocritical to demand that no matter what happened I end up in the final two.
Tashi: So this alliance with Steph - is this why you gave her your vote for the million?
Rafe: Yeah, Steph and I had been together from Day One and Danni knew going into the Tribal Council that I would vote for Steph. We knew that Steph was gonna lose because she’d already played the game and a lot of peope were really upset with her.
As I walked out of the final three Tribal Council, every person there knew that Danni was gonna win so I wanted to give Steph at least have a vote.
Tashi: That’s very interesting that it was such a given – even though Steph’s never actually won anything like a car or money. Her having been in before meant she didn’t stand a chance.
Rafe: Exactly. That was kind of one of the reasons I aligned with her early on.
I was like: “If I go to the final two with her I’m definitely going to win because no-one wants to give someone who’s already played the game a million dollars because there was this feeling: “This is our season and we want someone from our season to win it.”
Tashi: So you didn’t feel betrayed by Danni?
Rafe: You’re always gonna have an emotional reaction, I did feel a little betrayed, I was like “Ah, man, you know, I did so much to get you here and then you didn’t take me to the final two,” – there was a moment of that but at the same time I completely understood why she did it so there were no hard feelings between us at all.
Tashi: In other matters – Cindy – do you think she’d have won the show if she’d given up the car and given everyone else one?
Rafe: I hope Cindy doesn’t see this because I think that everyone wants to come out of the game with no regrets but I do truly believe that if Cindy had given away the car there’s no ways we’d have voted her out.
I was looking for any excuse to keep her and if she’d given away the cars ad won the final four Immunity Challenge - the puzzle and running challenge which she’d have been very good at, she’d have had a great start at taking the whole game.
Tashi: When Jeff said the car was cursed I was like: "Yeah, yeah right, rubbish," but then as things unfolded it turned out it was a curse wasn’t it?
Rafe: Yes, it is kind of a curse because as soon as someone’s won something big like a car you’re kind of like: “Well, if they go home it’s not the end of the world, at least they have a car, I don’t have a car. They’ve already kind of won.”
Tashi: Yes that’s how I thought everyone would think. I found it interesting that you were so adamant about her having no choice but to give the cars away.
Rafe: Oh yes, I was shocked. Just knowing Cindy I’d never have guessed in a million years that she’d have kept the car. Everyone’s jaws visibly dropped when she made the decision.
At the same time you must understand that we hadn’t eaten or slept for thirty days so some things start to make sense in your head that you look at afterwards and think: “Oh my God what I was on? How did I possibly think that?”
I think that’s part of what happened to Cindy, she just got confused a little bit because Jeff was kind of pressuring saying “Oh - are you superstitious? Is that why you’re giving up the car?” ‘cos at first she wanted to give up the car so she kinda wanted to prove she wasn’t superstitious.
Tashi: So you think she’s got regrets now and thinks: “Damn, this car actually cost a million bucks.”
Rafe: I hope not, she’s so sweet. I was actually visiting her recently and she was like: “Do you want to drive in the car?” - and it’s great. I love her so much – I’m happy she has something to show for her experience and she’ll always have that.
Tashi: What was the easiest thing about Survivor?
Rafe: Living outside was very easy ‘cos I’ve had so much experience in the outdoors. I was very comfortable with all the bugs and the sleeping on the ground and the not showering – maybe too comfortable, hehe - but it was all very comfortable for me and it made it a lot easier because a lot of the people had never even been camping before.
They take you out of your element but I was right in my element so I could really focus on the other parts of the game – like strategy – completely.
Tashi: Out of everyone – who was the biggest strategiser?
Rafe: I was probably the person who strategised the most and thought about that aspect of the game the most because I was a big fan of the show. Cindy was a great strategist too – I know it didn’t really come across but she was very bright and strong at the game. I think we were the two who played the mental game the most.
Danni was great at playing the social game. She was great at making friends and getting along with people and that can really get you a lot further. I don’t think she was as - you know, a lot of times we’d sit down and talk about strategy and she’d come up with an idea and was like: “I really think we might need to try something else if we’re gnna stick around here.”
Tashi: What was the most difficult thing?
Rafe: The most difficult thing, getting towards the end, was that you cared so much about everyone and having to vote someone out every night – it’s such an emotional thing. It’s like taking blow after blow. As the Tribal Councils get closer together in time it’s every day for the last four days and for me it was like an emotional beating.
You want everyone to have a million dollars so much because you’re so close with them but at the same time you’ve got to vote them out because you’ve got to get to the end yourself.
That was much more difficult that I expected it to be – I never expected to get so close to the people out there and to make so many lifelong friends.
Tashi: What did the million bucks mean to you?
Rafe: I was financially stable enough before the show that winning a million dollars wouldn’t have changed my life as much as it would other people. It was very hard at the end because I looked at the people around me and realised that the million dollars would absolutely change their life and I was there to win.
I really struggled with that – I’m more competitive than anyone I know – I wanted to win so badly but then at the same I kept thinking: “This could change one of my best friends lives forever,” so it became a very difficult emotional conflict for me.”
Tashi: If you’d been watching the show like us – who would your fave have been for the win?
Rafe: I would have loved Danni because I love strong woman. I love women who are competitive and nice – I would have been the biggest Danni fan in the world.
Tashi: And your most loathed?
Rafe: Probably Judd. You know I love the guy, he’s a great guy but you’re out there and somebody does something horribly obnoxious once every three days and it doesn’t seem that much but then you watch it on the show and Judd’s doing something horribly obnoxious every episode – as a viewer I would not have enjoyed that.
Tashi: That’s as a viewer - being in it all did you feel the same way?
Rafe: Actually, ha, kind of – now that you mention it. I mean I was rooting for Danni and I wanted to see her get further and wanted to help her further because I was more in control of the game than she was but I didn’t help Judd to get further. I’ve never really thought of it that way but I think it played a role in the game.
Tashi: What? Feeling anti-him and keen on detroying him?
Rafe: Well, we were at odds, I just knew there was no ways he wanted me to stick around. He was talking to people about getting rid of me because I was did very well in the challenges. I was like :”You know what – I’m gonna get you first.”
Danni and I sat down and made a plan about how we were gonna get Judd out. That was a miracle that worked – that was the most fun part of the whole thing. Sitting with Danni and thinking of all these startegies to get Judd out.
Tashi: When him and Jamie were together and being so mean I kept wanting you to do something then.
Rafe: I hated having to wait to do something. It would have been like committing suicide if I’d done anything earlier than I could so I had to wait for the first possible moment I could get them out and then did it.
As soon as they made the comments to the other tribe – they were just so rude, so mean, so condescending - I made a promise to myself: “There’s no way that I’ll allow either of these guys to make it to the final four and I’m gonna do what it takes to make sure that they don’t.” It’s something that really drove my game for a long time.
Tashi: What’s the story with Jamie and Bobby-Jon being thick as thieves on the Jury suddenly?
Rafe: I don’t know – I could never understand what they saying when they were talking to each other because their Southern accents are so strong. They just have this Southern thing – that’s how they explained it.
They’d just go at it for no reason, screaming at each other and then they sat down and made an agreement to agree disagree. I think that was more Bobby-Jon being a stand-up guy than any kind of pact between them.
Tashi: What was the first bath like after everything? What did you do immediately after you got voted out?
Rafe: The place we went to after was like a camp-type place with no warm water so I was very disappointed and decided just not to take a shower the first night back. It turns out none of us showered after right after – you just kida get in this mental state ‘cos you’re still in the game a little bit – but I did eat. The things I missed most were ice-cream and pizza so I the first ight out I had a bowl with eight scoops of ice-cream and a whole large pizza.
Tashi: Do they let you have whatever you want?
Rafe: They’re so good to you – there was a chef there and you just ask for whatever you want. It was fantastic. You’re so hungry – literally for the irt three months I was home I just ate everything in sight. I lost 35 pounds and put on 60 pounds when I got back. Now I’m like: “Wow, it’s no longer okay that I’m so fat because I was on Survivor.” I put on 20 punds the first week I was back. It totally messes you up – I’m still recovering from it.
Tashi: What’s life like for you know?
Rafe: It’s great. I’m living in LA with my boyfriend, we moved out here about a month ago and I’m working to try to get a job as a TV writer. I love it out here – the weather’s fantastic.
Tashi: A TV writer? Writing what specifically?
Rafe: Writing drama’s and sitcoms – like writing CSI and stuff like that.
Tashi: I didn’t know that you were a writer.
Rafe: Yeah, I’m not writing right now – it’s like acting in that it’s very difficult to break into but I’ve been able to make some very good connections from the show.
I got a couple of years ahead of most people just by being on the show and getting an agent. Hopefully it’ll happen for me – it’s always been my dream. It’s what I did at college – I concentrated on screenwriting – I graduated two weeks before I left for the show.
Tashi: Besides yourself, who’s your all-time fave Survivor ever?
Rafe: My favourite Survivor is Tina from The Australian Outbreak. I thought she was really one of the best players whose ever played the game. I feel that people go into this game and totally underestimate what friendship can do for you.
They think the game’s about backstabbing and betraying people – it’s really about friendship and she was the person who did it because she made good friends people and she used it to win.
That was something I really wanted to do on my season – not backstab and betray but get to the end because I’d formed really great relationships.
Ends.