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Taxi Drama

Written by Jordan from the blog Off The Record on 10 Sep 2007
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I spend about 15 hours every week on my way to catch a taxi, waiting for one and sitting in one. I honestly wish I had a car, but until then, a taxi it is!!!

Well it’s not all bad in Taxiland. I get to my destination quicker than I would in a car. Yeah those taxi drivers really hook us up. I admit I do front when the taxi drivers drives on the yellow lane, beat robots, cut in the other cars etc. I’ll be like OMG what’s he doing... why doesn’t he just drive properly... does he want to kill us... blah blah blah. But in my mind, I’d be on some he he he... show them what you got... how could you let them overtake us like that??? Can’t help it guys, I love it when they’re being bad!!! Oh and car drivers, don’t hate the players, hate the game!!! Not even you hooters will stop us! Ha ha ha ha

A taxi is cheaper... well than a car installment (let alone maintaining the damn thing). Although I go on like the world is ending when there is a fare hike (Bathong R1.00???, why not 50 cents!!! OMG what am I gonna do??? OMG OMG OMG!!!), I’d rather take that than Mr. Mboweni’s interest hikes.

I have met a lot of interesting people in a taxi... made friends and potential partners (why is it that the ones that you don’t want to give your contacts to are the ones that ask? Eish!!!)... have heard a lot of interesting stories about people that are don’t even know (there are some hectic people out there)... I have been exposed to more radio stations than Yfm... I have done some serious networking (yep. It doesn’t just happen at the Vodacom Durban July).

But is this worth all the drama??? I have yelled “ngicela u nga si bulali, tuu Baba” (please don’t kill us) more than just a few times (I rock isiZulu when I think I gonna die). I have had more near-death experiences than my little heart can take. The drivers can be seriously rude. The other day I was getting on to the taxi, and the taxi started moving. I stopped because, duh, it was moving. The taxi driver had the audacity to tell me to hurry up and get inside. Bathong!!! At that moment I wanted to march to the bank and get a car loan. Instead I swallowed my pride (I have done a lot of pride swallowing in taxi-related ordeals) and got my butt in the taxi. *sigh*

Just last week Friday I got to work late because the taxi door wouldn’t open. We stopped 3 times before I got off and all 3 times the driver had to get off and yank at the door for several minutes before it could open. I was too busy thinking of an excuse, to tell my boss when I eventually got to the office, to get irritated. The truth??? Come on!!!

I must say that compared to the stories I have heard regarding taxis, I’ve had easy. Landing o a stranger’s lap because the taxi started moving before I could get to that seat at the back; having to stand still for a few minutes after I get off a taxi because I am suffering from cramps after sitting on half a butt; being accused of pinching money after I have collected for an ungrateful bastard who couldn’t count his own money (collecting money is not easy you know, especially when 50 cents are involved!!!); severe kwamentation (armpit odour) etc, amateur stuff!!!

Taxi drama is scary when it’s happening, but sometimes when you look back, it is rather amusing. If you have survived one, please share yours with me. If you have upgraded to another mode of transport, what do you miss about a taxi? What don’t you miss?

PS. Some of you may have experienced seriously traumatic taxi incidences; I hope I didn’t come out insensitive. If I did, I apologise.

122 Comments

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 05:58

I admit I do front when the taxi drivers drives on the yellow lane, beat robots, cut in the other cars etc. I’ll be like OMG what’s he doing... why doesn’t he just drive properly... does he want to kill us... blah blah blah. But in my mind, I’d be on some he he he... show them what you got...

I know what you mean by this! When I was a taxi passenger I also loved it when they used their skills to get me to work earlier than all those suckers that follow the road rules!

(Bathong R1.00???, why not 50 cents!!! OMG what am I gonna do??? OMG OMG OMG!!!),
hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! eish i am gettin finished!!

I have yelled “ngicela u nga si bulali, tuu Baba” (please don’t kill us) more than just a few times (I rock isiZulu when I think I gonna die).

Shame you even remember to ask politely not be killed! Eish mara what are these drivers doing to you he?

The other day I was getting on to the taxi, and the taxi started moving. I stopped because, duh, it was moving. The taxi driver had the audacity to tell me to hurry up and get inside. Bathong!!! At that moment I wanted to march to the bank and get a car loan. Instead I swallowed my pride (I have done a lot of pride swallowing in taxi-related ordeals) and got my butt in the taxi. *sigh*

Oh Jordan, the imagery is hilarious!!!

Just last week Friday I got to work late because the taxi door wouldn’t open. We stopped 3 times before I got off and all 3 times the driver had to get off and yank at the door for several minutes before it could open. I was too busy thinking of an excuse, to tell my boss when I eventually got to the office, to get irritated. The truth??? Come on!!!

kwa kwa kwa till no end...damn u're so funny it hurts!!

I have collected for an ungrateful bastard who couldn’t count his own money (collecting money is not easy you know, especially when 50 cents are involved!!!); severe kwamentation (armpit odour) etc, amateur stuff!!!

50c is nothing compared to 65 or 80c, I always had to go back to my "times-tables".....1x8=8, 2X8=16 and then I just get stuck!

This has been a great read Jordan..eish my monday was beginning to head downhill until this blog!

Zhico
10 Sep 2007 06:01

hi hi hi...sana nice article...
I stay at Bellville CpT...tell me you know that SA's most violant rank...it's awful there..
4 4 is worse....bt ekasi lam..I usually dont pay the R3 for locals...just dlulisa imali from e back then let them asume mine is there

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 06:06

<<<50c is nothing compared to 65 or 80c, I always had to go back to my "times-tables".....1x8=8, 2X8=16 and then I just get stuck!>>> LOL Then I'd rather walk home!!!

<<<.just dlulisa imali from e back then let them asume mine is there>>> Bathong Zhico!!! hi hi hi. I wouldn't dare cross a taxi driver like that!!!

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 06:08

What I miss:

4 sure the lane changing, yellow lane and even pavement driving, the red robot meaning CAUTION for them and the total disregard for stop signs! Miss ukhozi, umhlobo and the breakneck speeding during the afternoon rush-hour. Miss the sharp curves that always throw you against the person sitting next to you, or the window if you're occupying the seat on your own.
Munching on di Kip Kip and drinking coke cause all those vendors are selling their wares right at the door.

What I don't miss:

*That one window that jsut won't close on a cold winter drive..u know the kind that allows the wind to blow very icy air into your ear?
*Having to scream "short-left" "bus stop" short right" at the top of your lungs cause the taxi is making making more noise than the radio..dunno if it's the engine but the more the driver guns the accelerator, the louder the sound is,eish!
* Drivers stopping to fuel up and taking away 10 minutes of my time and making me late for work.
*Getting dropped off miles from my stop cause the "normal" drivers don't want to give my taxi driver way to get to the "taxi stop" so I can get off.
*kwamentation plus stale beer and cigarette breath on the only passenger that wants to speak the most!

ngwana
10 Sep 2007 06:12

PS. Some of you may have experienced seriously traumatic taxi incidences; I hope I didn’t come out insensitive. If I did, I apologise.

Christian DeWet road is part of my route home and about two months ago with the taxi wars i was on that road 5 min before they started shooting each other. it always scares the crap out of me if i think of what could have happened.

BUT ON A LIGHTER NOTE:
This one time it was raining and it was dripping in some parts of the taxi and this old lady said, (in sotho) "we must call Ntate Thuso and tell him now we need umbrella's even when we are inside a taxi."

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 06:17

<<<*Having to scream "short-left" "bus stop" short right" at the top of your lungs cause the taxi is making making more noise than the radio..dunno if it's the engine but the more the driver guns the accelerator, the louder the sound is,eish!>>>

ROFLMAO huuu!!! Kwa kwa kwa tl tl tl. I feel you completely!!! Although it’s unavoidable, it can get embarrasing after you have screamed that much, he still doesn’t hear you and drops you off 200m from where you were supposed to get off... you stomp off the taxi... give him a resounding NNNNX!!... after you have opened the door from outside (eish)... you slam the door!!! I am too ols for this ish!!!

TEBZA_R
10 Sep 2007 06:18

But in my mind, I’d be on some he he he... show them what you got... how could you let them overtake us like that??? Can’t help it guys, I love it when they’re being bad!!! Oh and car drivers, don’t hate the players, hate the game!!! Not even you hooters will stop us! Ha ha ha ha...........

That is exactly how I react or feel when i am in a taxi, And i like it most when i see i am going to be late for work.... And if i get into a taxi and the driver is not taking the yellow lane, I get trustrated and I will be thinking to myself how stupid is this driver..... I love them when they do their staff.....

And they can just start a conversation as if they know you if you sitting in front seat. He will talk to you as if they have known you for 30 years.....And believe me those people can be stuborn if they want to....... I saw this other driver tell a white guy to shift so that other passengers can pass to other seat, but the problem is the driver was using his home language while the poor whitey did not even uderstand a thing...shame.....He expected the whitey to shift but he knows that whitey can't understand him....

But in general I just like them bathong....And they know how to switch people off....

Zhico
10 Sep 2007 06:19

Iyho Toxi now I hv to read all that...and bcoz u wrote it I'm so interested

mina-moo
10 Sep 2007 06:19

I had one taxi driver chuck me outta his taxi coz i said it's a skorokoro.

Dimago
10 Sep 2007 06:21

Iyo Jordan, i'm LMAO! Please girl i'm at the office, and people here dont take kindly to people jaus laughing and not sharing!

Anyhow, nice blog, FUNNY!!!

Eish taxi drivers, are a different species all together...i always see them driving off tar road and onto pavements, and think OMG what must be going through the passengers minds!!! And when they go to the lane of oncoming traffic and are unapologetic about it....

Mina i just let them through, i dont want to argue with a taxi-driver who does not have insurance, so i'd rather oblige them....

Thanks for the good laugh!

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 06:22

<<<Christian DeWet road is part of my route home and about two months ago with the taxi wars i was on that road 5 min before they started shooting each other.>>>
Eish, anything is better than taxi wars. I came close to being in one at Bree. But I just heard shots close by and people were ducking and diving around me. SCARY!!!
<<<"we must call Ntate Thuso and tell him now we need umbrella's even when we are inside a taxi." >>> I don’t think think this is a good idea anymore... I am laughing so much already!!!!!!!

myname
10 Sep 2007 06:22

I have many bt i was stressed & i have to go en c my aunt who was sick. It was the first time using a taxi to visit her. So u know i have 2 ask the right taxi so i wont get lost. The taxi was already full infront u know those 2 passengers. I saw 1 man standing & u know those Zulu guys. So as i was about 2 ask him, "Is the taxi going to Joburg? He just say "AWUBONI UKUTHI IGCWELE ITAXI kuhlala abantu ayi 2 ngaphambili not three, ucabanga ukuthi uzakuhlala kuphi, IGCWELE" (Cant u c the taxi is full infront, we only allow 2 people not three, where do u think u wil stay, its full") I was like damn old man i just wanted 2 know that its going to this place thats all. The 2nd one i was hungry after a job interview in Joburg so as i was about 2 get in he said "SISI AKUDLELWA LA" with that deep scary voice.

Unik
10 Sep 2007 06:24

This is so well written ...Oh my GAAAAAAAAD ,gal u r sooooooo funny ...I am laughing my lungs out....maybe its because I feel u as I'm taking taxis as in now ...

My worst is when the Gatjie insist of u moving ur big ass, so that the forth one can sit on a 3 sitter ...I always go like "Do u want me to move out of the window" and the driver will interfere with (Afrikaans ascent) "Kamon lady asseblief, buy ur own ka" taking off his cigarette and smoke while driving....and I'll be cough faking until I get 2 ma destination and only to notice that I left my R4,50 change on that damn taxi...

nonkez
10 Sep 2007 06:29

nice blog J, but did you hv to remind us abt those days.......oh i dnt miss aNYTHING ABT A TAXI shame. drunk drivers, hung-over drivers, speeding, swearing etc........

off topic: METRO FM AWARDS R NOW COMING TO PE, NO CT AS ADVETISED!!!!!!!!

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 06:35

Great blog Jordy!

Hehehe to think just today i used a taxi and it's been awhile since i did. i can give u an endless list of what i don't like about those bloody drivers! let me first start with the positives that that come with travelling in a taxi:

*the ones that drive like any other normal driver..obeying road rules etc
*the ones that ask nicely if the radio's too loud or if u prefer different types of musci, some even ask if u've got cd's...
*meeting all kinds of characters (interesting!)
*on the rare occasion u sit in the front seat and find a driver who chats to u but not in a suggestive way...just talking nje....and u get sooo into the conversation both of u forget u haven't paid and u do get off without having paid!
*being able to relax after a long day and just think about nada!
*the fares are reasonable (most of the time)

and the negatives:
*being in a queue for the longest time and wondering wtf are they taking other queues for and skipping yours???i was 30 minutes late for work this morning and i left mighty early!
*after having waited sooo long in a q (sometimes in winter) go tla sekorokoro se seng and u c gore u'll freeze even more than u already have but get on anyway cos who knows when the next one will come?
those ones that are so road unworthy u feel like this will surely be ur last day on this earth!
*veil pop's making moves on u and u putting them off seems to encourage u more
*magwafe a nkgang!
*reckless driving (God!)
*having to take 2/3 taxis just to get to a place 5 mins from where u r simply becos there aren't any that go straight.
* u passing on a R5 coin for a R4 fare and the idiot in front of u asks: "oi one?" duhhhh!!!
*the idiot in front of u counting the money first before passing it on and back. nx!
*too loud music that is absolutely boooring!
*they always leave me too far from where i'm going and i walk too long a distance
*when it's the weekend or during the day they go to all corners of the area trying to find people to fill up the taxi. duhhh!!! it's that time of the day when people are gone and don't u know ur wasting petrol not to mention MY time???
*them taking diff routes to avoid traffic or metro police and u end up on the other side of town from where ur supposed to be!
*nako bathong! why can't they be available at any hour of the day???

*

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 06:36

<<<saw this other driver tell a white guy to shift so that other passengers can pass to other seat, but the problem is the driver was using his home language while the poor whitey did not even uderstand a thing...shame.....He expected the whitey to shift but he knows that whitey can't understand him....>>> TEBZA-R, that’s Taxi 101, if you have to speak or at least know another language either than Emglish. Zulu is perfect!!! hi hi hi

<<<I had one taxi driver chuck me outta his taxi coz i said it's a skorokoro.>>> mina-moo, you are a brave person!!!

Thanks Dimags!!!
<<<Mina i just let them through, i dont want to argue with a taxi-driver who does not have insurance, so i'd rather oblige them.... Mina i just let them through, i dont want to argue with a taxi-driver who does not have insurance, so i'd rather oblige them....>>> LOL Good for you! Pass on the word!!!

<<<"Is the taxi going to Joburg? He just say "AWUBONI UKUTHI IGCWELE ITAXI kuhlala abantu ayi 2 ngaphambili not three, ucabanga ukuthi uzakuhlala kuphi, IGCWELE">>> HAAAAAAAAAHHHHAH AHAHA

<<<taking off his cigarette and smoke while driving.....>>> Unik where is this??? I have never had a driver smoking and drinking in a taxi!!!

Zhico
10 Sep 2007 06:39

@Unik that's CpT for u...

Ever taken a taxi from Bellville to CpT..those that always sound like Parow..KTO..sana that ride takes you 3 hrs min

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 06:40

Haha ha Kele this one just killed me <<<* u passing on a R5 coin for a R4 fare and the idiot in front of u asks: "oi one?" duhhhh!!!>>> LMAO!!! tl tl tl

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 06:42

hehehe there's this one driver wo mzulu in noord. iyhoo that old man! a re no eating in his taxi. not even gum or the zola 7 stick. hehehehe u have no idea how many people he's thrown off his taxi. if ur one of those people who likes bitingon the inside of their mouth u betta stop when in his taxi cos he'll throw u out thinking ur eating. hi hi hi

Segololo
10 Sep 2007 06:43

One thing I learnt was to trust my instincts - inner voice as oprah would say - when it came to this mode of transport...

I was once on my way to tech -after refusing to go when my ma was shouting at me that it was getting late. Anyways, the taxi caught fire just 400m from the taxi rank!! The engine of the taxi I was in caught fire - I was in the middle ko backseat and a little overweight at the time... BUT when in fear you will fit your big ass thru the window! I jumped out the back window like everyone and of course I was struggling a bit but I wasn;t gonna die in a burning taxi! I took the next taxi home after jumping from that window and my divorced parents had to make peace so my dad would take me to tech and come fetch me.

My first pay check, I visited the bank and got me a car! I really pray hard when I see a taxi doing its ish that it gets the ppl to where they are going safely!

myname
10 Sep 2007 06:43

Mna im a taxigil okey this time it was that time we heared that there r fake R5. So another sotho gil got it & i stil remember we were listening 2 this loud damn mbaqanga music. athi (Plz dont mind my sotho), 'Driver akenyaki le five ranta ke fake" so he luked her on the mirror "Awsi aksi fake" the passenger goes on "ke fake & akenyake fake nna" They shouted each other bt at the end he gave up & give her another R5.

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 06:44

i hear the drivers in durban are very good people. is this true?

monchooza
10 Sep 2007 06:45

yaxis neh.................let me think ngoba shem i have lots to tell being the stubborn monchooza i am. here is one= once i was sitting e front seat, being the trevor manuel there and then i colletcetd yonke imali and then only to find out ukuhti the money is short of one persons fare then i ask them "ngicela lo ongabhadalanga abhadale tu, i got no response and i screamed again "ubabi ongabhadalanga?" yuh the nerve of that driver he stoped the car and said "yesses maan ngingcono ngihambe nemali eshodayo kunokuthi ngizoraselwa nguwe kangaka,hlika" i had to swallow my pride and i xolisa'd, and i was so angry but there was nothing i could do except slam the door when i got off.

andi01
10 Sep 2007 06:47

@ Zhico, i know what u talking about girl ,that voortrekker road from between bellvile (bhiyavo as pronounced,) and Cape Town (Kaap with tha afrikaans accent), that is a road to hell I promise u, smoking is a norm there if u dont u r de odd one.

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 06:48

as some of u know i'm a size 40. tl tl tl...this one time there were these 3 fat women in the back and the driver insisted i was tiny and i cud squeeze in. my stubborn self refused even thou there was a high possibility i'd be chased off the rank and would have to find another rank...damn did i hold everybody up for a good 10 minutes. everyone that came after me was big. and they all gave me this look...we all know the look. nna ka gana. helllno! hi hi hi these people!

belz
10 Sep 2007 06:51

Goood Gaadd, nice one couzy, im cracking up like mad, im dont take taxis anymore but i was almost arrested becoz i almost hit a guy who was sitting in the front engakwazi ukubala imali, that stupid fuc***!!!! the taxi driver was like " angiyingeni mina, sisi phela ngisemsebenzini, ngicela uyehle" i colled tht guy all the names on my vocabulary until i ran out of words and reached for the front seat wanting to slap the living nonsense out of him, athi " Ngizokubophisa wena!! Jesus Christ!!! yho hayi itaxi zinedrama shame, i 'll think of something else, coz there is a lot, i ddnt get my 6rand, i spennt two days looking for that taxi coz i wanted to sue!!!

MamaOmpha
10 Sep 2007 06:51

Mina guys I sometimes use my boyfriends car when he is using the company car so I somtimes have to catch a taxi.
My worst expirience was a few weeks ago. I was on a queue at the randburg taxi rank to go to Joburg and you know most people don't want to get in front because they don't want to count money so mina I decided to go infront.
I greeted the driver in a very polite manner "Sawubona Baba". He keeps quite. So I start to collect money and then he says "Ngicela u lethe imali yami". So Im trying to explain to him that on this 50 rands its 4 people and on this 20 rands its 3 people, and he says " ngithe ngicela u lethe imali yami. So I give him all his money and he start asking people at the back how many people paid from the 50 rands and so on. One man gives me 2 rands and he's asking for 50 centsand I ask the driver and he says "anginayo sisi" and when I look were he keeps his coins there's a lot of fifty cents. So mina I give back the 2 rands and I said "U driver uthi akanayo ichange". I think the way I said it offended him.
So I take out my phone and my headphone to listen to the radio.
and he says to me"ngicela sisi uthathe imali yakho uyehle emotweni yami"
and I asked him what is it that i've done wrong. He says I think that I'm better that him. he does not like people listing to their phones while on the front seat. I had to get off the taxi in the middle of nowhere.

Zhico
10 Sep 2007 06:51

Shame Sego..hi hi hi...

@J ..do u think something can be done abt the drivers smoking in public transport...
u passing on a R5 coin for a R4 fare and the idiot in front of u asks: "oi one?" duhhhh!!!>>> ha ha ha ...you can say that again gal

pat
10 Sep 2007 06:53

LMAO @ Jordan

andi01
10 Sep 2007 07:00

Hey jordan nice article, I am still a regular taxi user and i sure have a lot of tales to tell.

Good one
i always like those mama's with something to say. this one lady said the other day hey guys did u hear about the accident where by 2 peopel were killed an a shangaan. (and i kept wondering to myself isnt a shangaan a person, why would she differentiate but if one knows whats best for her is 2 shut up.)

Bad one
this guy was trying to fit in 20 peopel in a 16 seater, and i was so stressed that day so i whispered to the guy next 2 me, "this driver thinks his taxi has an elastic and it will just strech to fit every1), yho kanti he heard me i was out of that taxi before i could say sorry, but lucky for me bekuserankini so i cuaght another one

Zhico
10 Sep 2007 07:03

my colluegus think I'm crazy...LMAO

@home ...EC...it was too hot and ke the thing with i change ye 50 and 40c really got to this lady who was sitting in front..she was looking very fab bt very slow ekubaleni and the dude next to her did not help her...every1 was shouting for their change...poor woman was so confused...she fainted...then waxhuzula...they had to stop the taxi...she woke and prayed ...shame..

I never again liked ifront....

mayo
10 Sep 2007 07:07

well while on the subject there is nothing worse than the taxis we have in CT (amaphela) well they are called that because they are all cresida's from the 80's if you are on a hurry and u are going around ekasi its only R4 and it takes you nobakuphi but u dont wear i all white or bright colours coz u wont know where i OIL will be on that taxi!!!

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 07:09

iyho guys i almost had a heart attack! i posted a reply and this page popped up saying this site had been blocked by the administrator! haai maybe this is a sign...let me enjoy it while i can...

this one time the driver dropped me off a loong way from where i wanted to get off. i swear some of them pretend as if they don't hear u when u say shotwhatever! by the time he stopped i was huffing and puffing and a million thots were running thru my mind of how i cud avenge myself. so as i got off i saw this do not bang sign. i got off and i banged the door so hard i thot some windows were going to break. there was a moment of silence. i then walked off as if nothing had happened. iyho kanti the driver got out and he had what looked like a sjambok. tl tl tl i have neva in ma life ran so hard....

Unik
10 Sep 2007 07:10

@ Zhico - I stay in Parow .....u know exactly what I'm talking about - the trip to cape town its like going home to Eastern cape esp when they have to wait for other poeple at Shoprite parow or Maitland ...Geeeeezzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!

InCape town smoking it is really a norm - esp the Bellville and Wynberg route ....

I remember taking a taxi to Claremont and I was preggie at that time ...when I asked the driver to stop smoking ...he just say "I'm not the one who made you pregnant" - I cried like a baby the whole trip and the driver felt sorry he apologized.and I was like sobbing voice "Sanlam Centre "(my destination ) he felt so bad as a result everytime I get to his taxi BY MISTAKE I don't pay.....

Gucci
10 Sep 2007 07:11

While I was still @Varsity >>>> I was sitting next to this guy who instisted I shuld open a window on a bloody windy day....I got so pissed that I said..."why shuld I open this window?" And his response was " For the weather to get in"....I was like...."bh..tl..bh...tl...."and kanti a friend of mine also heard....and we laughed out sooo loud!!!!!!

Another one, a Taxi driver shoved out a Woman who had a Kentucky and and accused her of eating inside his Taxi...the poor woman wasnt even eating but t'was just that the Kentucky smell gets to u like crazy....I guess the Driver was damn hungry but he claimed that she was gonna cause Cockroaches in his car.LOL!!!!!!!

nonkez
10 Sep 2007 07:12

...poor woman was so confused...she fainted...then waxhuzula...they had to stop the taxi...she woke and prayed ...shame..

I never again liked ifront....

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ahha ha ha ah ha!!!!!!!

myname
10 Sep 2007 07:14

Shame mamaO. This 1 i wil never 4get bcoz i was young. I was with my older cousin & i think i was 13-14. Infront there was a big woman so they wanted some1 who was slender & it was me. Honestly i never like front seat bcoz i know the stories. So since i was a shool gil trying 2 make money 4 lunch, the past day that means yesterday i did a washing 4 my cousin sister so she promised mi that she wil pay R5. So b4 we enter into the taxi she gave mi R5 & i thought its 4 the washing i did. So we collected the money & guess what ya-shorta imali. Since they saw that i came with my sister they all assume that my cousin sister paid 4 mi. We ask & ask nobudy so the driver decided 2 park the taxi ecaleni so everybudy is asking who did not pay? bt another loaded woman who was wearing gold all over offered 2 pay. After sehlikile my cousin stil angry bcoz now we were late.I wanted 2 thank her 4 the R5 bcoz i didnt got time 2 thank her, so i said "thank u 4 the money" & she said "dont tel mi u didnt pay the money & i said, "which money"? hey wena it was not 4 ur washing ibiyimali yetaxi leyo. All i said was, OMG

Miss K
10 Sep 2007 07:15

I remember i had just moved from PE to Joburg so i wasn't aware how bad taxi drivers are here. So i take a taxi from Northcliff to Joburg and i tell the driver I'm getting off at Noord and he says ok. The stupid bugger goes to Bree and when he gets there he stops and says 'Ngiyaphela la'. So i'm like WTF i told u i'm going to Noord. And he just looked at me and said 'Sisi ngithe ndiyaphela la'

Hayke me being the Xhosa woman that i am i gave him a piece of my mind and I told him i'm not going until u give me R3 to catch another taxi to Noord. This Zulu guy who was also going to Noord was like 'Sisi yehla plz uzakubetha unye lo tata' I don't know what i was thinking coz i just stayed in the taxi (alone, the zulu boy left) and the guy was shouting at me and finally after 15 minutes he gave me the R3!! Don't know what i'd done if he dragged me out of his taxi, imagine the embarrasment!!

Segololo
10 Sep 2007 07:15

Eish! Too many bad memories for me on this topic!!!!

I once rode this brand new taxi - before the fire taxi - and the taxi driver obviously did not want to clutter his taxi so we were sitting as the taxi is designed to allow people in 3/3/3/3/3 not 4/4/4/4/3 esish!!

Anyways, the taxi driver stopped to let the first person out when they reached their destination - the passasier slammed the door. The driver just looked at the door and said nx! Next passasier did the same - Mr driver waited a good 5 minutes just looking at his taxi door and said nx! the next one slammed the door again! Mr Taxi driver stopped the car, turned off the radio, came around to the door, opened it - his eyes looked like he was going to kill us - then he said softly "le batla eng mara? Ga taxi e le skreppe la complainer, ga e le right la e roba! (When a taxi is a scrap, you complain. when it is right, you break it!) - then he closed the door softly. Got back in the car, did not switch on the music.... When the next passenger got off, they closed the door properly. Whne i got off, I left it open so the taxi driver can come close it himself... I was too stressed about closing it well and not getting a beating from Mr Taxi driver!

Unik
10 Sep 2007 07:16

greeted the driver in a very polite manner "Sawubona Baba". He keeps quite. So I start to collect money and then he says "Ngicela u lethe imali yami". So Im trying to explain to him that on this 50 rands its 4 people and on this 20 rands its 3 people, and he says " ngithe ngicela u lethe imali yami. LOL !!!!!!! THIS IS THE kILLER TOPIC GUYS ...well done Jords

ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I 'm staring to look stupid apha guys abelungu bandijongile .....I'm in an open plan office ..This is so funny

monchooza
10 Sep 2007 07:18

mamaompha you are reminding me of an incident that happened kimi two yrs back where i was left in the middle of nowhere. i was sitting e front as always(avoiding ama four four) so they driver was playing lousy not so clear music in his taxi but not too lous kahle nje. so i just took out my phone and put on my headset and played my music loud in my ears so that i sould not hear his music. sho, the driver wamisa imoto wathi umangabe ngibona ngathi ngingcono ngehle emotweni yakhe, and i was like " what have i done now" and he said evrybody else in that taxi did not have a problem with his music so mina cause i think i am better i listen to my phone music. i tried explaning to him but he did not want to hear it, so i had to hlika with a bit of pride, so just before he stopped the car i pretended to make a call, and i was like," hi mzala, where are you now?..........well mina i am on pretoria road ngase garage............. can you come pick me up now?...........oooh good then i will explain to you what just happened......okey sharp mzala bye." then the taxi stopped i got off and the driver said ngichoma ngo zero, and i told him ukuthi vele the studip taxi iyanuka just like him, slammed the door. eish and then i had to hike mara ke i was lucky did not stand there for longer than 10 min

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 07:19

<<<My first pay check, I visited the bank and got me a car! I really pray hard when I see a taxi doing its ish that it gets the ppl to where they are going safely!>>> Nothing this scary has ever happened to me...Sounds REALLY hectic

<<<a re no eating in his taxi. not even gum or the zola 7 stick>>> LMAO tl tl tl!!!

Monchooza shem wa mphetsa ha ha ha haha @ <<<yesses maan ngingcono ngihambe nemali eshodayo kunokuthi ngizoraselwa nguwe kangaka,hlika>>>>

Couzy, you must report this matter to Ntate Thuso!!! Phela this is a serious matter!!!!

MamaOmpha, don’t stress. I have learnt that you can’t win with taxi drivers!!! If it’s you day, it’s your day!!!!

Thanks Andi01, please think of other incidents. I LMAO @ Bhiyavo

Tshd21
10 Sep 2007 07:27

Nice one ngwana wa ko gae. U cracked me up completely. Lol
I'm also a regular with taxis, so I decided to visit a friend of mine ko Kagiso. The taxi took off from the rank and after about 15 minutes, just out of Jozi, I collect the money (I was sitting ko front seat, waitse mos!)
Someone's fare was short and after asking for the rest, the driver took control of the situation. He asked for the rest of the money and while everybody insisted that they paid full price, he turned back to the rank, ko Paki Jordi.
Just imagine the traffic on Saturday mara? After we got to the rank, he gave me all the money and instructed everyone out of hi staxi and went for another load. Everybody wanted a piece of my hand because they wanted their money back, I eneded up with nothing. Eish, this isht bizness I'm telling you LMAO

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 07:29

monchoo wena okare wa phapha...no wonder o dula o phoxiwa. hi hi hi

monchooza
10 Sep 2007 07:33

yoh yoh yoh lamhlanje bazongixosha abelungu ukuhleka okungaka engkwezayo, to make it worse all the papers on my desk are getting wet izinyembezi...tl lt tl tl tl tl tl

Annonymous
10 Sep 2007 07:33

Good one Jordan. The thing that irritates me the most is those big mamma's that will ask u to come and sit in between them becoz u are smaller, then they relax their phat hands on u and wena u are just quashed and running out of oxygen and bona they are just chatting and they don't even appreciate the favour that u have done for them. But my ultimate worst thing about taxi's is when u are sitting behind a Miss Holliwood & she is wearing a lower than low cut pants and then she is about to jump off and her crack is in ur face, or even worse a tangled t-string and the worst part is that as a woman, u will be the one with the embarrased look and yena she will say:"Yini khona enikubonayo eningakwazi?" before she walks away in them heals, shuuu these people make me wanna die.

myname
10 Sep 2007 07:33

@ Gucci iyho accusing people 4 eating this guy yayihlafuna so since they always watching us over the mirror so the driver thought he is eating food. 'Bhuti akudlelwa la" so this guy keeps eating this thing as if some1 told him that u r left with 3 seconds. He keeps on eating. Iyho the driver was pissed now he said bhuti awungizwa ukuthi ngithi akudlelwa kule moto? hayi bhuti continue now it get worse he stop the car & go en yell the poor guy ngithi yekela ukudla & im sure he wanted ukufaka i-chisa mpama & guess what Wayesidla i-chappies

MADENZA
10 Sep 2007 07:38

if you want to see how rude some of this drivers are, sit in the front seat o patedise, and the money ya shota believe me even if it is five bob you will have to get a rough lecture even after replacing it.

Annonymous
10 Sep 2007 07:38

Guys, there are these infamous stickers that are in taxi's and they are just so rude sometimes, but I still like reading them when I spot them. This is my personal favourate:" Ukube i-AIDS niyesaba njenge backseat ngabe akekho onayo"

mazi
10 Sep 2007 07:40

@mama O, i am laughing so much that i cant stop crying, u truly have made my day.

sponono
10 Sep 2007 07:44

why am I the only one who supposedly rights an "article within article" ngenzeni kanti mina

anyway here's my bad but funny taxi moment
the big mama and her child
- when some mama decides to give her child one (huge) juicy piece of KFC and this child isnt really hungry and starts playin with the chicken and the oily crumbs flyin all over my clothes and the other passengers...and I dont know what to say because "its a child" eeeeegh
or the same mama is eating some oily fried fish (ussually its something fried and oily) and the child starts crying and she ignores this wailing child until some passengers start teling her to give the child some..(of course you know what happenes after)

Oh when the same mama enters the taxi with the child on her back and doesnt look up to see if the child's head wont hit the top part of the taxi door and the typical conversation that follows.."bheki'ngane mfazi izok'bulal'indoda ulimaz'ingane"

or when the same mama standing outside wants to sit and the person who's supposed to shift, just gives her this look that says "where excatly do you think you are gonna sit" and they dont say anything they just look at the smallanyanaspace and look at the big mama and eventually she'll just move one side to wait for the next taxi...while I always feel sorry for obese passengers, but its hilarious to see this exchange...

was that an article within anarticle!!!...yeah well whatever

MADENZA
10 Sep 2007 07:44

Talking about stickers:
" no heavy weights in the front seat'
"i like your s-curl but not on my windows"

spice
10 Sep 2007 07:46

ROFL@Annonymous Oh god the things we witness haai me thanks God for blessing me with a skorokoro but I have seen it all ya'll

Unik
10 Sep 2007 07:51

Ukube i-AIDS niyesaba njenge backseat ngabe akekho onayo" LOL - never had of this one ...

what about this one

"I like your perm but not on my window" OR "UNOMONA NJE UVINDLALA"
""

sponono
10 Sep 2007 07:53

what irritates me the most though has to be -The backseat drama

I'm sitting at the back seat counting minutes coz I'm already late and there needs to be one more passenger to fill the back seat, and this fool walks toward the taxi..(and I'm thinking ok here we go) but just pokes his/her head and steps back...soon you''ll have enough fools doin the same thing without realising that the taxi could be full and on the way by now.....but you dont know how to tell these fools because you are the one in a hurry and they "dont like i-backseat shame, ngeke ngikwazi nje" eeeegh...The funny part is when they realise that unfortunately its one of those stingy drivers who'll want every seat to have four passengers so everyone ends up sitting like in the back seat...eeeeg I hate that backseat issue

Annonymous
10 Sep 2007 07:55

Still on the issue of stickers:
"Gone are the days when women used to cook like their mothers, now they drink like their fathers."
"Ubungani bami nawe noma ubuhlobo bethu mabunga ngangibulaleli ibhizinisi, khokha!"

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 07:56

<<<iyho kanti the driver got out and he had what looked like a sjambok. tl tl tl i have neva in ma life ran so hard....>>> Kele hoo tlhe huuu wieeee!!! Haai, it’s a good thing you bought a car. I am sure ba go beile bampara bo Mageza!!!

<<<he just say "I'm not the one who made you pregnant" - I cried like a baby the whole trip and the driver felt sorry he apologized>>> hi hi hi Unik, if it was in JHB, he would have probably stuck to his guns!!!

<<<For the weather to get in>>> huu!!! never a dull moment in a taxi!!!

Miss K, shem whatever you were smoking that day, is not good!!!

Annony, we have all been there!!! Sometimes you don’t even have enough space to get money out of your wallet!!!

Annonymous
10 Sep 2007 08:00

LMAO @ Sponono, ur backsaeat story is just so funny.......hehehe

Gugs
10 Sep 2007 08:01

Taxis from Durbs (Umlazi) are normally good infact I have fond memories of those days cos when I was at Tech there was this one taxi that we all took averyone new everyone and we will choose the music that we want it was really nice infact it was always a pleasure riding with that driver he new where to stop for all of us even if he gets to my stop in the mornings and and I'm not there yet he waits a bit b4 driving off.... He was also very clean and dresses very well disgner lebels all the way....

Generally eMlazi there are taxis for old people which are nice but no sound they play gospel or fm radio.

And then there are the ones that plays strictly RnB that for young and old

then there is your mini club those they play all sort of music in a full blast volume... that's for today's youth...

the nice part is that you can sit in a front sit cos all this taxis have conducter that take cash and open doors for which I think is very cool.

Miss K
10 Sep 2007 08:02

On a taxi to Joburg town, suddenly there was this smell and people started looking around and opening windows then this mama shouted 'Ngubani ke lo uqonde ukuba maka excersize izibunu? Yho people just burst out laughing.

andi01
10 Sep 2007 08:02

@ Anon talking about those stickers

"In the good old days girls cooked like their mothers, today they drink like their fathers"

" i like your perm but keep it away from my windows"

"dont drink and drive, you'll spill ur beer"

monchooza
10 Sep 2007 08:02

anden there is just those who know very well that they are wearing tight pants(esp guys) then after the four four business they start seaching themselves and poking you with the elbow at the same time.........eish

Dimago
10 Sep 2007 08:06

LOL @ Sego and MamaO...

This blog is bringing back some memories

This one time i was in a taxi, and the guy next to me decide that he's gonna proposition me (o tlo nshela), so i tried to ignore ignore him...so then i say to him, hai man, leave me alone and he says in a very loud voice "Ke re bula fenstere o phintse" (i was just saying, open the window, you have farted)...imagine the embarassment....

Miss K
10 Sep 2007 08:08

Gugs Durban sounds like heaven compared 2 Jozi. I'm grateful to the taxi drivers coz they motivated me to get off my butt, get my license and buy a car. Couldn't take the abuse anymore.

mabhebheza
10 Sep 2007 08:08

this blog is just 2funny .! i once had an episode of having 2 R50 not e and taxi fare is R6.50 so manje im busy shouting ngicela i change yam yho ! taxi driver replies: lalela wesisi kunini ucula lengoma yakho ye change kanti ezwizwa ukuthi uyarasa futhi mina ingindayisi amatamiti futhi ndilika man thatha imali yakho!! he tore the R50 note in two pieces took one and gave me other half Eish sad times!

Dimago
10 Sep 2007 08:09

what about those people who wear low cut jeans with G-string, and when they have to get off, you can see their cracks....eish, they embarrass me....

Tshd21
10 Sep 2007 08:14

Still on stickers:
"Women are like taxis, you miss this one, you catch another one round the corner"
Sho ba re dira eng batho mara?

And I once went to Pta and ko Noord, the driver could not let me drink my coca cola. I asked why and he pointed to a sticker on the side saying "no drinking or eating inside the taxi" LMAO

Sae
10 Sep 2007 08:15

I'm trying to reply but cant because I'm still laughing! Where did you come up with this man. Seriously though, I dont miss taxis I cant imagine going back to those little round holes on the windows trying to put tissue papers in to prevent the cold wind coming in or worse the rain would be dripping in from somewhere between your sit and the door. No thank you!!

myname
10 Sep 2007 08:16

OMG Miss K yho hayi IZIBUBU zika mamakho

Dimago
10 Sep 2007 08:18

@KFab, i know its too early in the week, but i'd like to nominate this blog for "Blog of the Week"

TEBZA_R
10 Sep 2007 08:20

Joburg Taxis......Ke mathata fela bathong.....
Bathong....Ke kgopola this other day i was on my way back from work....I got into the taxi in Bree taxi rank and shame this fat man came and he was so fat that he takes(occupy) the seat for two passengers.....Bathong the Q-marshall asked that man to pay for two.....I don't think it was fair for him to pay for two people, especially because the taxi was not even full when we left the rank because it was late and wheren't people anymore......But the Q-marshall was not even shy bathong......mehlolo yase Goli.....

embryo
10 Sep 2007 08:24

'Ngubani ke lo uqonde ukuba maka excersize izibunu? <<<<LAWL...yho uyandiqiba maan ndiphelile ngoku.

Unik
10 Sep 2007 08:26

@Dimago i'd like to nominate this blog for "Blog of the Week" - True that and its the funniest.....

monchooza
10 Sep 2007 08:26

or sitting next to usisi onama singles bese asoloku ajika abheka emuva and when ever she does that her hair comes to your face.......

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 08:28

iyhoo Gugs that's exxactly waht i heard but was a bit skeptical...conductors nogal haai nina u r living the life! but ke seeing as most of the taxi drivers in jozi are zulu's from kzn y do they have such attitudes????

i wish i had a car of my own Jordy...i'm actually using my mom's car...

belz
10 Sep 2007 08:33

and those arseholes abe taxi association, yho they once stopped our taxi and i think udriver wethu had not paid the nton nton fees so they ordered us out of the taxi, sesikhamisile daar and no one said anything when me and my friend started talking back to this guy this other old men told us ukuthi these guys have got guns bazokudubula lomlonyana wakho, yho guys and he had a gun ngavele ngathula, we had to wait for another taxi!!!

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 08:35

Dimago go here to nominate cos i'll only be auditing from this blog...

and Gugs...was it u or Gugu that volunteered with the auditing? i'm still waiting for ur email addy...

Babyphatt
10 Sep 2007 08:35

This is hilarious, great article Jordan.....hehehe funny stories guys

My irritating experience had to be when i sat next to this untidy looking, young lady with a child. The mother had bought snacks for her baby....so lengane ibeyihala too much, crying non-stop, iphuma namafinyila and i had a lollipop, after the mother fed this baby chips, ijuice, yonke lenyakanyaka; this not so cute, ungrateful baby was now after my lollipop like a hungry little cub.

Not wanting this child to start touching me with his hands full of chips and for the little rascal to stop crying i gave him my very tasty lollipop. Then i decided to console myself with something to drink...the very same baby wanted my drink as well....i was livid and gave him a very nasty look and faced the other side trying to ignore the baby....but he kept crying. All the mother could say to the baby was "haai wena ukuhala" . I was relieved when i finally got off the taxi......

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 08:35

You guys are hilarious!!!!! I am LSHTINSSWTCD!!!! Damn!!! Monchoo, I hope your car doesn’t ever break down cos no driver is gon let you ride their taxi again!!!

Eish Sponono mfethu!!! I know the backseat drama!!! Ladies are the worst! Good GAAAAAAD!!!

<<<This is my personal favourate:" Ukube i-AIDS niyesaba njenge backseat ngabe akekho onayo" >>>Huuuuu Annony, I haven’t seen this one yet!!! LOL It rocks

Tshd21, ngwana ko gae. I have had an incident ka the taxis to Kagiso. The times tables weren’t happening that day. I ended up having to pay extra!!!

<<<he tore the R50 note in two pieces took one and gave me other half Eish sad times!>>> Bathong!!!!! ha h aha ha!! Askies man Mabhebheza!!!

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 08:36

Segololo:
BUT when in fear you will fit your big ass thru the window! I jumped out the back window like everyone and of course I was struggling a bit but I wasn;t gonna die in a burning taxi!
Monchooza:
i got no response and i screamed again "ubabi ongabhadalanga?" yuh the nerve of that driver he stoped the car and said "yesses maan ngingcono ngihambe nemali eshodayo kunokuthi ngizoraselwa nguwe kangaka,hlika"
MamaOmpha:
and he says to me"ngicela sisi uthathe imali yakho uyehle emotweni yami"
and I asked him what is it that i've done wrong. He says I think that I'm better that him. he does not like people listing to their phones while on the front seat. I had to get off the taxi in the middle of nowhere.
KFab:
i got off and i banged the door so hard i thot some windows were going to break. there was a moment of silence. i then walked off as if nothing had happened. iyho kanti the driver got out and he had what looked like a sjambok. tl tl tl i have neva in ma life ran so hard....

WHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!!! Yhuuu this is some funny ish!

sponono
10 Sep 2007 08:42

other taxi isues-
ama g-stilingi or ama t-string, the passenger who is sleeping and his/her head is on your shoulder with his saliva drippin on you and you ry wakin him up he jumps but goes back to sleep using you shoulder as umqamelo

the passenger who wont stop talkin even if you dont respond t their stories

the passenger who says "eish bengingazi ukuthi isikhuphukile, awungigcwalisela ngeshumi bra wam" (didnt know about the fare increase pliz spare me a rand bru )how can you refuse he's already inside usually at the backseat-these types dont mind the backseat when their taxifare is shot- and you are already late to let him get out....

when drivers make you collect the fare at the front seat and say " mina ngicela eyami nje yelodi mfowethu suyobona ke ngoshintshi, like you work for them or somethin..the worse is when you mixed your extra coins with the collected fares

when drivers just go straight to the garage after having parked their taxis for hours at the ranki when they should have gone to the garage before loading - and they dont even ask nicely.......

but in my experience, durbana Taxi drivers are much better

Zhico
10 Sep 2007 08:42

the most sad...was of a coloured Gatjie asking my friend to move to the back and ofcoz she could not bcoz we were still chatting and it was a long way from Bhiyavo..hihihi..Bellville to Cpt...and what was worse he was asking for a coloured chick...
So my friend ignored him..wathi...move ur Kafer...iyho the black sisters and brothers were on his case 4ever...Joys of living in CpT...

ppl I cant work with this much luaghter

Annonymous
10 Sep 2007 08:43

I agree with u Kele, the drivers from KZN have an attitude, still today I will never forget the day I pleaded with a driver to slow down and he turned and said to me:"Ukuba unekinga ngamataxi ngabe kade wathenga eyakho imoto." I was so pissed off.

TEBZA_R
10 Sep 2007 08:48

Not wanting this child to start touching me with his hands full of chips and for the little rascal to stop crying i gave him my very tasty lollipop. Then i decided to console myself with something to drink...the very same baby wanted my drink as well....i was livid and gave him a very nasty look and faced the other side trying to ignore the baby....

And always ke bana ba mafinyela ba hala too much......Nna I just give those babies only urgly look and i don't even give them even a piece of whatever i will be eating......The best thing is to give them that nasty look and is the baby continue crying for whatever i will be eating i ask to hold or carry them on my arms and them ke mo tsipe....Ke mo tsipa gore a llele nnte...Then ke mofe sweet.......Nka kgathala ka bana bo ditaxing......

Annonymous
10 Sep 2007 08:50

"the passenger who says "eish bengingazi ukuthi isikhuphukile, awungigcwalisela ngeshumi bra wam" (didnt know about the fare increase pliz spare me a rand bru )how can you refuse he's already inside usually at the backseat-these types dont mind the backseat when their taxifare is shot- and you are already late to let him get out...." @ Sponono I know these kinda chances and they say they didn't know about the fare increase when the increase took place 5 months ago. Guys I haven't even met my deadlines for today coz of this blog and I actually don't mind.

belz
10 Sep 2007 08:52

And this other lady who paid with a hundred bucks in the morning, there was no change, the driver stopped the car at the garage, obviously yu think uyofuna ichange, no, when he came back he had bread and milk in his hands, he took his R7 and gave the lady his groceries and change, i still laugh at that lady till today.

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 08:57

Gucci....I guess the Driver was damn hungry but he claimed that she was gonna cause Cockroaches in his car.LOL!!!!!!!
MissK:Ngubani ke lo uqonde ukuba maka excersize izibunu? Yho people just burst out laughing.
Sae:I dont miss taxis I cant imagine going back to those little round holes on the windows trying to put tissue papers in to prevent the cold wind coming in or worse the rain would be dripping in from somewhere between your sit and the door. No thank you!!
hahahahah, tl tl tl...i remember the tissues-in-holes too well!
Belz:when me and my friend started talking back to this guy this other old men told us ukuthi these guys have got guns bazokudubula lomlonyana wakho, yho guys and he had a gun ngavele ngathula, we had to wait for another taxi!!!

Hey you guys have totally finished me--i am no more, hahhahhaha!

Lady.RO.
10 Sep 2007 09:02

Eish jah ne... Taxi drivers - they never wake up on the right side of the bed. I was in a taxi from Pta to Jozi. I think taxi fee was R26/7. So as it was time for us to pay, the taxi driver was on some "I don't want any R50, R30 or whatever... you have to pay R26!". Me sitting right at the back, im on some "Is He 4 Real?" asking people who were sitting with me. I some how hope they stop taking this cheap drug they taking. I mean they rely on us for support and we rely on them for transport - Gautrain plz help us out , maybe this people will stop being the way they are

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 09:03

and then there are these burly looking men that insist on squeezing themselves in at the backseat. Now they do this very cleverly because they know that they stature will not allow them enough room at the backseat to sit comfortably so they wait for you to reach behind your back pocket to retrieve money and then they strike. One minute your back was against the torn leather seat, the next there is no space to lean back cause the sly fellow leaned back while you were fishing for coins in your back pocket!

Unik
10 Sep 2007 09:05

@Belz - when he came back he had bread and milk in his hands, he took his R7 and gave the lady his groceries and change, i still laugh at that lady till today.

ha ha ha ha ha ah ah bh tl tl tl...........I'm done :)

Cande
10 Sep 2007 09:14

he he he Lol @ Bhiyavo, that route between Bellville and CPT it takes you 3 hours to get where you going. the funniest for me was when i was in a taxi and this pregnant girl passed so this gartjie speaks in Afrikaans are 'Ja i always told you not to eat Wacky Wednesay, now look at what they did to your stomach'

When i lived in Joburg, when a taxi from Bree to Randburg was still R4.50 we once had a girl shot by the taxi driver because she didn't have the R4.50.
We once drove from Noord to Randburg with a flat tyre that smelt like it was burning, on my way i started repenting and asking the Lord to accept me in heaven.
I used to live in Mariston and it was down town Jozi, so in the morning even if i don't want to wake up i will be waken up by the hooting of taxi, iyoo even in weddings don't do it that way.

And then i came to CPt, hi hi hi hayi thoose gatjies who take out 4 teeth in front and put false teeth sometimes with feik gold always made my mornings.
and then there is an issue of 4 4 Masihlalisane.

This year i had a gatjie who was very rude to me. i didn't have loose money so me and ma frend paid with a R100 note @ arnd 3pm coz i expected him to have change then and then he was like (in Xhosa) "who'se money is this, am going to cut it into half and give you the other half". So i look at him and tell him in Tswana(and i new he doesn't understand me) "E etse re bone gore go tlo etsegalang".
i knew he will never do it.
But mins i like this coloured gatjies, they always make my mornings with things they say these arrogant Xhosa(not all of them off course) ones shame ha ke ba rate.
We always have problems with Gatjies here in Cpt, not drivers.

Great one Jordan

KeleFabulous
10 Sep 2007 09:15

don't even get me started on the dirty crying little brats! iyho some people don't know how to control their kids! and it always happened that i was wearing white or something very light...this one time i got so fed up with the little i** leaving his fingerprints all over me i asked the mom if she had the money to pay for my dry cleaning and buy me an outfit for the day (it was morning) seeing as i was now dirty because of her little brat! the woman was so embarassed she took the little brat and held him right between her legs up until the get off point. since then i don't have a problem telling them where to get off...that if they don't put a leash on them brats

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 09:22

And then i came to CPt, hi hi hi hayi thoose gatjies who take out 4 teeth in front and put false teeth sometimes with feik gold always made my mornings.

hahahahha Cande-girl!!

andi01
10 Sep 2007 09:23

My worst nightmare was 3 weeks back, I was in this taxi, I sat in the front coz I was de first one in de taxi. More people came and the taxi was now half full. There was a guy sitting next to me so I was in de middle. Half way through the journey, a young girl (15/16) was standing next to the road. The driver (who I am sure is not less than 40 years old) stopped when he reached her. The young lady turned 2 the drivers side and whispered to his ears and she gave me a faint look and so did he. So lamadala uthi kum sisi please move to the back, I said what, he said move to the back theres plenty empty chairs there. Yho I was bhabh-laz and I was gatvol. Luckily I hadn’t paid yet. I got out of the taxi. The little girl went to sit on where I was sitting and I waited for another taxi, I had a huge mnnxiimm, skhebere** as the taxi was taking off ngo 180km/h leaving all that dust behind, and myself as a receiver. Luckily another taxi came and I paid R3 instead of R5, which I though was great.Apparently that little girl was that drivers girl, could she wait until we get to town

babyjoe
10 Sep 2007 09:26

i don't use a taxi or any other form of transport so i don't have an experience to share but LMAO with some of the experiences people shared. Nice article and keep it up....

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 09:27

I had a huge mnnxiimm, skhebere** as the taxi was taking off ngo 180km/h leaving all that dust behind, and myself as a receiver

LMAO, Andi!

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 09:33

I was once on this taxi from Jan Smuts to the randburg taxi rank and just after he drove past Hyde Park shopping centre, he decided to use the pavement as the yello lane. Now, we;ve all seen these women drivers that don't mind taking chances with these drivers akere? Anyway, this woman would not make way for the taxi driver and he inevitably scratched her brand new car.

That woman came out of her car screaming all sorts of profanities at the driver and I just stifled a LAUGH when the driver kept saying, "It's your fault!"

If it hadn't happened right there in front of me, i would have thought it's unbelievable!

Package
10 Sep 2007 09:45

I WISH I HAD A CAR WITH THOSE BULLBARS IN FRONT AND JUST BUMP THESE TAXI'S WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD COZ MY CAR WOULD NOT EVEN HAVE A SCATCH ON IT!

TAXI DRIVERS GET ME SOO WORKED UP.... I

Jordan
10 Sep 2007 09:50

<<<One minute your back was against the torn leather seat, the next there is no space to lean back cause the sly fellow leaned back while you were fishing for coins in your back pocket!>>> ROFLMAO!!! Classic!!!

<<<When i lived in Joburg, when a taxi from Bree to Randburg was still R4.50 we once had a girl shot by the taxi driver because she didn't have the R4.50.>>> OMG!!! you know these days I carry exactly R7.00 in the mornings. The drivers get really pissed off ka di notes!!!

<<<E etse re bone gore go tlo etsegalang>>> hi hi hi

LOL @ Andi01!!!

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 09:52

I want a car like that package, but not for taxi drivers..but for all those people that take forever to turn left/right; all those that use yield signs as STOP signs, all those that take forever to drive off after a robot's turned green; all those that stop at the end of an on ramp waiting for someone to stop their car so they can get on the highway; all those that follow a taxi so closely that they don't see the driver put his hazards on and thus cause unnecessary backup/traffic build up.

I personally think taxi drivers aren't that bad...people just need to learn to anticipate what their next move will be. It quite obvious that a taxi that doesn't have a full load in the mornings, will more than likely make several stops along the road and ANYONE that tailgates a taxi is really a moron.

Cande
10 Sep 2007 09:55

I want a car like that package, but not for taxi drivers..but for all those people that take forever to turn left/right; all those that use yield signs as STOP signs, all those that take forever to drive off after a robot's turned green; all those that stop at the end of an on ramp waiting for someone to stop their car so they can get on the highway; all those that follow a taxi so closely that they don't see the driver put his hazards on and thus cause unnecessary backup/traffic build up.

Hi hi hi
Toxic its us learners who do that, sicela ube patient tog.

Cande
10 Sep 2007 09:59

this thing of copy and pasting people's replies, now i ended up pasting Toxic's reply to the company's website. and am helping someone apply for a job online.

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 10:01

Cande-you'd be suprised at the more experienced drivers out there that do all those things...

Toxic
10 Sep 2007 10:04

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Cande!! I once pasted someone's response on an e-mail I was sending out to a prospective student AND it took me forever to find the retrieve option that when i finally found it, it was too late..the mail had been sent!

Segololo
10 Sep 2007 10:09

Eish! Guys... I have laughed so hard, missed a couple of meetings and deadlines... I'm gonna get fired and return to amataxi!! Le mpheditse!!

Anyways, the brats are a nitemare! Ba gala!! yessus!

I was once in this taxi going to Rustenburg from Jozi, Anyways these guys that always drink alcohol under their jacket always insist on sitting in the backseat so the driver can't see... Now one of the guys neeeded to pee because he had been drinking even before he came to the taxi. He asked the driver - the driver said "e tshware maan!" (Hold it in) I was shocked because we were still about an hour before getting to Rusty. The guy said "Ok, ke tla rota ka window ge! (Okay, I'll just pee thru the window) ... the driver just ignored him, the guy started trying to stand up and unbutton his thing... the driver swerved off the road and stopped - started screaming about his car seats! - We just wanted to let this guy out... The guy peeed in his pants just as he got to the door and his friends were also pushing to get out because they were not brave to ask!

No-one wanted to sit next to the pee-in-pants dude when he came back in... Taxi drivers mara! Why do they have the same attitude to people that are their bread and butter and other motorists!!

ngwana
10 Sep 2007 10:09

Shame there are some sweet ones, once i was so late for work i couldnt go to the Atm first and i stopped the taxi and told the driver i only have 3.50 not R6 and he just said "ngena sisi"

sponono
10 Sep 2007 10:31

<<ngwana he just said "ngena sisi" >> wayefuna sungthin else.....hi hi hi... he wanted to ngena somewhere there himself .......dont believe a "sweet" taxi driver my girlie...its not like you were 50cents shot...but ke I'm a pessimist sometimes
maybe he was being really nice -were you "sweet" back to him ngwana?? LOL

sjura
10 Sep 2007 12:09

@KELEFAB u passing on a R5 coin for a R4 fare and the idiot in front of u asks: "oi one?" duhhhh!!!
I LAFD MA LIVER OUT JO>i knw that one, those stupid conductors alwayz ask dat.

when im in frnt seat n hv 2 count d $ i dnt pay cz d driva wnt pay me 4 ma conducta services.n dat filz gr8 whn u rob doz careless bustards.

embryo
10 Sep 2007 15:28

@home ...EC...it was too hot and ke the thing with i change ye 50 and 40c really got to this lady who was sitting in front..she was looking very fab bt very slow ekubaleni and the dude next to her did not help her...every1 was shouting for their change...poor woman was so confused...she fainted...then waxhuzula...they had to stop the taxi...she woke and prayed ...shame..<<<<LAWL...ekse uyasixhomela but its still funny non the less.

ngwana
11 Sep 2007 01:55

LOL @ Sponono - i felt protected by the old ladies that where in the taxi.

Zhico
11 Sep 2007 03:23

@Embryo ekse uyasixhomela but its still funny non the less....kanti what hv a done to derseve this
Bt ke I'm no xhoming I'm sharing the truth....why would I xhoma wena...foetus

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 06:51

This is my favourate article of all time people..............lilmama & all the other newbees wozani nizobona ukuthi la eTVSA zaziwa kanjani kuqala...........kodwa Jordan ukuphi?????

lilmama
17 Jan 2008 07:09

Goodone....Thanx Nonny for the orientation. Where're all these good writers at now?

faraimagic
17 Jan 2008 07:21

joy
17 Jan 2008 08:46

no nonny, atleast if umntu uyazama, appreciate it bcoz it takes effort, mna thnx lil mama 4 entertainment, haha

mna this kept me laughing ngo december
http://www.tvsa.co.za/default.asp?blogname=thespiritofubuntu

maar keep em articles coming bantu noba nibatsha, newbies like myself, its fun, kumnandi apha!

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 09:17

"no nonny, atleast if umntu uyazama, appreciate it" @ Joy I don't think u clearly got my point. Mina I was just taking lilmama for a walk down memory lane since today was a bit of a wuiet day, and that was not an indication of my lack of appreciation. Ofcourse this place still rocks & it always will................but the thing is things are not the same qha!!!!

monchooza
18 Feb 2008 06:29

Peace's you must read this.............

monchooza
20 Mar 2008 03:34

mina i just love reading this Blog over and over again.........ingihlekisa strong

Dimago
14 Oct 2008 10:19

why cant we have more blogs like this mara? This blog was one of the best!!!!

Dipsynaizer
29 Apr 2009 20:00

damn, i'm only reading this now and i must say big up...i can't stop cracking...but one thing i love about the taxis is the stickers....e.g. "i like your perm, but not on my window"...one thing i have learnt though about taxis is that you must have the correct change in the morning and when you get onto the last taxi for the day...yol are funny...thank you bathong for such a great laugh...I NEEDED IT!!!

Mckale
16 Jul 2009 13:17

Jah!! I never laughed like this!!!

Floh
07 Jan 2010 17:14

The other day I was getting on to the taxi, and the taxi started moving. I stopped because, duh, it was moving. The taxi driver had the audacity to tell me to hurry up and get inside. Bathong!!! At that moment I wanted to march to the bank and get a car loan. Instead I swallowed my pride (I have done a lot of pride swallowing in taxi-related ordeals) and got my butt in the taxi. *sigh*

Digging from the archives...............so hillarious.

LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!LoL!

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