Note: Please be advised this blog is rated reader 18 as it contains a reference to a scene on Nip/Tuck which may be considered offensive to sensitive readers. Reader discretion is advised!
Start pumping ladies your man holds the secret to a fresher and younger looking face. It’s called semen!
Have you called the paramedics already? Well it’s good to know…. This is going to shock or you may laugh hysterically! Either way you need a doctor to answer questions or check your pulse.
Here we go….
A woman with a youthful complexion goes to the newly opened spa owned by Sean’s ex-wife with two other women all of which have a direct link to McNamara/Troy. The conversation turns to the young looking complexion of this lady (the first client for the spa), although she’s in her 40s. She tells the three ladies that she actually uses sperm to moisturize her face…… you gotta love Nip/Tuck it’s not for fainthearted. Reminds me of Six Feet Under!
She proceeds to tell them that she realized that her complexion was getting better since her ex-hubby put semen on her face as part of their sexual routine. Just when I thought this can’t get any crazy…. She tells them that now that she had divorced, she harvests the semen from her two sons. OMG! I was so shocked, the only sane thing to do was laugh!
They (the sons) deposit the junk in small tubs (like the one used at the sperm bank) and presto Garnier natural is ready for use. Do you like my complexion?......
How do you even ask your sons….”Oh boys… make sure you wank the lizards and drop everything into this tub and bring to mommy…okay! Love you lots” …..
Now try saying that in Afrikaans, Zulu, Tswana, Pedi, Venda, Tsonga, Swati, Ndebele and Tsotsi Taal.
Reports on the use of semen suggest that….it is good for wrinkles as it contains protein which can have a tightening effect on the skin. Ladies I think you should prepare to pump those boys dry! As the water evaporates, the protein remains, temporarily stretching out fine wrinkles. But when rinsed, all goes back to normal.
It is reported that it contains an abundance of natural lipids and essential amino acids and prostaglandins, natural substances which aid in skin repair and increase blood flow bringing in more nutrients to the skin. Flawless from sperm! Go figure!
So the ladies at “Nip/Tuck” reflect at the news of their client and quickly figure out that this might just be what their spa needs. A unique product which is exclusive to their spa…I mean really!
They start brain storming and all of a sudden confessions are made that sperm could be found from sperm banks in order for them to produce their product. To meet demand!
They then actually bottle the stuff in very presentable tubs and start selling it as a skin-rejuvenating cream to rich old ladies who are tired of their yearly face lifts.
Enter Joan Rivers who takes a sample and comes back to offer the ladies a business deal to do infomercials in order to sell the new spermirizer. That scene was hilarious… I kept thinking what will customers say when they discover that their rejuvenating cream is full of semen!
There goes Joan Rivers demanding to know “what is the secret ingredient”, of course they refused to tell her.
As if it can’t get worse, Joan’s business machine is already on TV marketing the spermirizer (moisturizer) fully endorsed by Joan.
These are the active ingredients in sperm, I found. Who knew?.
- water
- blood-group antigens
- ascorbic acid (vitamin C)
- chlorine (natural cleaning agent!)
- calcium
- pyrimidine, purine, pyruvic acid
- citric acid,
- cholesterol,
- creatine,
- fructose,
- deoxyribonucleic acid,
- glutathione,
- inositol,
- nitrogen,
- hyaluronidase,
- magnesium,
- lactic acid,
- phosphorus and potassium
- sodium (it's good to have, if you've been sweating a lot)
- prostaglandins
- vitamin B12
- spermidine,
- sorbitol,
- spermine
- zinc
Here is a confession I found online from a sperm user:
“I had many problems with my skin as a teenager with all the pimples ... as I got older reaching 21 the problem did not seem to fade away until I began using my sperm as a mask! I would put it on and sleep and wash my face the next morning, I find the result pretty amazing not only that my face is clear but it's also softer and I feel like I got a face lift some how. I know it sounds absolutely nasty and that’s what I thought, you might also not like it the first time you have it on but you'll like it any way after the results”
unknownperson @ 2008-07-17 07:52:14
The average man produces about 3.5 mL (1-2 teaspoons) of semen per ejaculation. There are guys who can shoot lots more than that...lots more. I guess the 3.5ml is a majority. Ladies or men, get to work if you want to have that fresher and younger you! And if you have Mr. "lots more"...well you fit a jackpot...spermirizer unlimited!.
Make sure that not a drop of that natural moisturizer does not go to waste….. ooooooh this is a new low of sickness! Great if it works for you thou. I guess the guys won't mind their partners pulling and pumping until the lizard is exhausted and has nothing to give! Ewe!
If it works you will be bright and right and everyone will be asking you what are you using for your face and you can safely answer….its not Johnson & Johnson or Garnier. Its called “MYMAN” a new product to make you look young and all natural.
So, ladies harvest away!
Episode Credits Info
Writer: Richard Levine, Lynnie Greene
Director: Jeremy Podeswa
Guest star: Linda Klein (Nurse Linda), Jessalyn Gilsig (Gina Russo) , Bob Gunton (Dr. Sagamore), John Billingsley (Ben White), Thomas Calabro (Dr. Abrams), Joan Rivers (Herself), Anne Heche (Nicole Morretti), Gigi Rice (Gretchen Carr), Tanner Richie (Austin Morretti), Mya Michaels (nurse)
By The Observer
Disclaimer
The information provided here is not journalistic but simply observations and the opinions expressed by The TV Observer, and guests are strictly their own. The TV Observer claims no credit for some of the images featured on this blog. All visual content is copyright to it’s respectful owners. If you own rights to any of the images, and do not wish them to appear on this blog, please mailtheobserver (at) yahoo.com and they will be promptly removed. Please note that The TV Observer invites your comments, this blog was created to inspire thoughtful dialogue and conversations with one another for shared experiences and insights. While The TV Observer encourages debate, the comment portion of the blog is not intended as a forum for personal attacks and destructive postings. If that is your intention in commenting, we ask that you go elsewhere.