Billy Garcia is a heavy metal guitarist. I know, try to contain your shock. He is trying to look all badass in a skull T-shirt and bandana but really, if you’re truly the dangerous rockstar you think you are, you don’t need to wear skulls on every item of clothing you own to get that through to people.
Appallingly, his T-shirt and bandana only hint at the levels of “trying too hard” he’s achieving. His band’s name is Forsakken. Yes, with two ‘k’s. Based on the awful name, I decided to investigate their
MySpace, confident of a few guaranteed laughs. Here’s part of the ‘About’ blurb:
"Forsakken is layered with ruthless riffs, devlish fantasy lyrics, and silencing shreds that could only be known as evil."As if this isn’t enough to get you laughing at Mr Hardkkore, you can also listen to two of Forsakkkken’s masterpieces, Warn All Ye Sinners and Morningstar Necromancy. You owe it to yourself to visit his MySpace and see all of this for yourself while atonal thrash metal assaults your ears. It’s spoiler-free as far as I can tell and I’ve literally spent the last half-hour checking it out and giggling instead of typing this damn bio.
Bless his heart, Billy appears to be completely serious about all of this. There isn’t a shred of irony anywhere to be found on the link. I think when God was handing out senses of irony, Billy was off trying to impress Satan with his pure evil metal dark soul (Satan all the while was rolling his eyes and trying to get rid of him).
Mr Hardkorr here was also a professional wrestler. If there was any doubt in my mind that this guy’s a poser (which there wasn’t), the fact that he’s a pro wrestler pretty much erases it.
Billy loves the colour pink and his favourite TV shows are My Little Pony, Rugrats and 7th Heaven. He loves any movie involving cute children or animals, especially Babe. His favourite magazines are Reader’s Digest, Crochet Weekly and Gardener’s Monthly. He loves music, especially Hilary Duff, Westlife, and various Disney soundtracks like High School Musical. His most prized books are his collection of Ann Geddes hardcovers.