• Blogs
• General

Traffic Signs

During the first phase of a relationship, there shouldn’t be any room for any doubts whatsoever. It’s a brand new endeavor and it always supposed to be exciting, fulfilling and thrilling. A girl can accept your proposal and invite you inside her heart, then start acting strange out of the blue. For no apparent reason. When this happens you will likely dismiss your doubts. But something is wrong. Guys usually ignore these thinking that it is normal and that they should happen. Especially with a new person about a new relationship. See a relationship should be all that at the beginning. It’s called the ‘Honeymoon Phase’ for a reason and this is where you get all over one another and ‘try’ each other. It should always happen at the beginning particularly if you were planning to go out for some time. If, all of a sudden she starts being unavailable and makes up about every excuse in the world during this forming stage: it’s a red flag for you buddy. If she does no longer do initial contact or respond to your means in a reasonable time frame and makes it seem like she’s hardly ever available to mingle, it’s a sign of what is to come. A new relationship is like a small fire and will burn out quickly if it has no fuel supply from both sides. Even with one side supplying the fuel, the heat should burn her too, to an extent of reaction. But she won’t react. Because she is not at the fire. You’re alone. Metaphorically speaking. For example: like her saying things like “you are coming on too strong” or that you guys “should take things a bit slow” etc. Guys dismiss these flags and wait to confirm their fears before they move on with their lives. Beware because they are there for a reason. Like traffic signs, they cannot warn you on false danger.

Pull me back. Grab me from behind

Once you start feeling like things will be better, they usually won’t. Like she’ll come around or some crap like that. Things just started off. It’s way too early for her to start acting up. Guys will get very hard on themselves and beat themselves up thinking of what to do next to make things work or grease on the situation. If you didn’t do anything wrong you won’t be able to fix it. You may find yourself planning on how to try and get to see her, maybe a dinner date. Or even a long-conversation phone call. But she won’t budge. But because of your history of dysfunctional relationships you may find yourself desperate and too needy and you will surely accept this kind of treatment with a smile on your face. Your standards are still in their infancy. She won’t come around the way you want and you now know that she will give you problems on a consistent basis. It’s part of her. Well, to you. Wherever you are concerned.

Women bend. Men break 

People can naturally anticipate a break-up coming a mile away. It’s an inborn instinct. Nothing special. A woman will just keep you at bay to come and interpret the writing on the wall at her own time. The typical guy will surely wait for disappointment to befall them instead of accepting it before it comes. It’s going to happen whether you like it of not. This is not a soccer match. Sometimes it’s over before it’s really over. Before the whistle. There is no need to dwell on the belief that you will be adding weight on a sinking ship by bombarding her with questions like updates and statuses of the relationship on a daily basis. It’s sinking anyway. It’s just a matter of a ticking clock.

The Box of Crayons

A good soul is consistent most of the time throughout life. She has to always say good things about you and the relationship even after it’s over. Doesn’t matter who ended it. A good woman will not change what they think about you just like that. She will still maintain the fact that you had a good thing and it was beautiful. Regardless of what happens after. Don’t be focusing on what was said in the relationship. That was within the dynamics of a relationship. But, the devil will show you her true colours. Even though she came up with the idea of you guys becoming friends. After first breaking it off. Of course. At this phase, an inconsistent lady will divulge you into her love life which suddenly picked up after your thing ended and talk about potential boyfriends and marriages. She will make sure you know – you are now friends, right? But this is damaging you, really. She will have a mean attitude during harmless conversations, horrible to you for things you are now doing now which she used to like while you were dating. Disregard almost everything and anything you do. Lastly, she will be insensitive. For reasons unknown. It might be linked to being bitter. But why? How does one explain this? Ultimately it is hard to change a person. To be good or bad. Especially over a short lived relationship. It matters the most what a person says after a relationship has ended than what they were filling your head with the whole time it was on. It’s like a review of a movie. It is always after the credits. Here there is nothing more to prove, lose or gain.

The F – Zone Layer

“Let’s be friends.” After the haul is over this it the change you get. Women suggest this only as an ‘exit programme’ for you. You don’t realize this. If you guys never started out as friends, good friends for that matter, then it’s a stupid idea for you to settle for ‘being friends’. It’s an insulting mother of a downgrade. It’s a pre-selected and default decision and always one-sided. And you will blindly accept it because subconsciously you’re looking for answers. The ‘What Went Wrong?’ They know things won’t be the same and you will eventually bore each other out. On the part where arguments will be mostly engineered so it will be easy for you to dismiss yourself. Or be dismissed like hot air. It will be over before you know it because breaking up with you and breaking all kinds of contacts AFTER is just being mean – right? Really now? Another reason is, and again, although you don’t even realize it too, you keep most of your personality. You are the same way as you were in the relationship. The things you say, do, even think about. On the other hand, she has changed. Loosened up. She will be prone to say what she really wants to say. During a relationship, a woman compliments a guy on the nice things he does for her. And she will try her best to beat him at this kind of treatment. So we take this as a guy inspires a girl to treat him good. Then, still on that note, she won’t keep this ‘inspiration’ and it will disappear completely at this stage. In fact, she will be the complete opposite. To your shock, of course. This means that this is the person you met before you started dating. Most of the good things she did for you during the dating phase were just for you. For your amusement. If she can longer repeat her brilliance, even a fraction of it, know that she has reverted back to her original personality. Remember that your wounds are open now, so anything, even harmless, she will throw towards you will definitely damage you to the white meat. When a relationship is over – it should mean just that. Done. There is no real need for you to even be nice to her because that’s just another way of being pathetic. You don’t owe her a thing. When you leave her, all the privileges she was subject to go with you. They should cease to exist. This has to happen to you a number of times for you to finally get it. In relationships it’s always about one person. YOU. How can you tell? Your individual goals differ. They always did. So while you are living up to your promises after it is over, like not hating on her or something stupid like that…she’s doing whatever she wants. Bottom line is you don’t owe them a thing anymore and should limit doing anything for them or with you. You really have no future with them and you are just wasting your time.

Tag cloud