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Apprentice, Eps2: Brian Blows His Brains Out

Written by Tashi from the blog Tashi's Apprentice: Season III on 06 Oct 2006
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TheApprenticeIII_BrainEPISODE TWO

Unbelievable.
It cuts me up to say with it being Danny’s ridiculous word that he’s somehow managed to get Magma believing in but it’s the only way to describe what a total idiot thug of a brute Brian was.

Thank God The Donald’s pulled himself together this season and didn’t think about keeping him to up the tension factor 'cos guaranteed if he had someone would have been popped in their beds by Episode 3 - either John or Kristin or a bloodbath of both.

From the moment Brian bullied that storekeeper into giving him the hat with horns last week he reminded me of Joe Pesci in Goodfellows and Casino. The scenes where Joe Pesci's characters go mad stabbing people in the hand with a pen and bashing them in the back of a boot with a baseball bat with that hectic pulpy foley - I could see Brian doing that for sure.

It’s obviously no coincidence that everything that happened with him took place in his mobster beat of New Jersey. Those Motels were waay creepy as they always are. I kinda understood where everyone was coming from when they initially said they were cute but when you really looked at them, not only the inside but on the outside too, there was something seriously depressing about them.

Same thing with that pathetic seaside New Jersey’s going on. The only other seaside holiday destination that’s as crap is the one in the Blackpool, UK. Have you seen the film Funny Bones? It's set in Blackpool and the seaside in it looks exactly like Jersey with the muddy skies, brown sea, solo surfer and faded ten-seater ferris wheel that only turns once every year. Brrrr.

Bodies in bags have so been chucked into that Jersey sea and even into those swimming pools. No matter how blue they were there was still something corpsy about them that reflected Brian’s arrogant bloodlust perfectly. Same thing with those gross-out unvacuumed carpets. Eeeuw -  imagine having been one of those guests and walking barefeet on them!

The way John stood up to Brian and then organised things so that he shot himself in the boardroom was brilliant and has made him my very firm fave. I also like the way he looks soo much like an inflated Vince Vaughn. He’s a playa for sure. As for that Chris with the twisted, puckered mouth who suddenly went off at the end - there’s defs a verry special bullet waiting just for him.



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