Previously: Bas the Brit was in charge of tabloidising The Bullet. He liked the page 3 girl, Prince was on the fence about it, but Noxee hated it, saying it would alienate the readers. Pay attention, it’s important later.
The front page of the newly launched Bullet swirls sadly in a dusty wind until it comes to a stop at the feet of Prince. He picks it up and examines it, as the camera pulls back to reveal…a whole bunch of other similarly forgotten Bullets. Noxee strolls up behind him, looking sympathetic. Prince admits that it didn’t go quite as well as they’d hoped, then has a Crisis of Self-Doubt, and it is up to Noxee to give him a pep talk. “Doubt is not a luxury we can afford,” she tells him as she heads inside.
Credits. “The Cherry Pops” is the title of this episode.
Kim is unwrapping a bunch of pink roses; Bas wants to know if they’re from a secret admirer. She tells him from ‘a friend’, and manages to distract him from any further enquiries by asking if he’s had any news about the first edition. “Axiom 4, love;” says he: ”never worry about initial feedback.” Enter Benny (Benny!). “A present from the guy across the road,” he says, handing Bas a suspiciously damp newspaper parcel, which turns out to be…fish and chips wrapped in the Bullet’s front page. “Ha ha,” says Bas sarkily. Benny adds that the guy put the second page to good use too; “but I didn’t think you’d want to see that.” He smirks adorably as he sits down at his desk.
Noxee spies Malume (the squatter? You know, the one with the stick?) wandering around the office. She calls to him, but he hurries back upstairs, and in chasing after him she trips and falls over the uneven flooring. It’s an Important Plot Point, I promise.
Prince enters, and tells Noxee to get together a focus group for that afternoon, so they can get feedback and fix whatever the readers didn’t like. He calls Bas to his office. “We need to fix this. Now,” says Prince. Bas tells him to take it easy, that these things take time; “that’s why they’re giving the paper away for a week, not a day.” Prince points out that, at the moment, they can’t give the paper away. Heh. Bas insists that they’re on the right track, and he tells Prince to trust him. “The punters love this paper; they just don’t know it yet.”
Noxee and Malume are arguing upstairs, in what is obviously Malume’s residential area of the office, about his future domestic living arrangements. Noxee is adamant that he has to go; Malume doesn’t see why – as he has protected the building by himself for a long time; “with the strength of ten cows.” He also can’t see why the Boss can’t give him a job, but Noxee repeats that there is no work.
Prince is addressing the news conference, giving them a pep talk, about how they’re just going to get better with each edition. Bas gives a little cheer at the end of the speech: he is the only one. They then discuss stories; Kim says that there’s a maize shortage, and therefore a possible price increase. Bas thinks that’s boring, but Benny points out that their readers eat maize. “They also breathe oxygen, do you want to give them a science lesson on page 2?” snarls Bas. When Prince wants to know what else they have, Benny brings up the story of a Zulu princess buying a luxury speedboat in Miami. Needless to say, Bas thinks it’s fantastic, and a perfect front page. “Never miss a chance to ‘ave a dig at the royals.” Spoken like a true Brit. “Axiom 5,” he adds, with a lewd wink in Kim’s direction. Kim looks ready to bring up her breakfast. Benny wants to go with the maize story; Prince tells him to do the boat. Benny looks resignedly annoyed. Bas looks smug.
Adverts. Jay-Z and Rhianna cannot come and go soon enough for me.
Coffee room. Prince and Benny are talking about Bas. Prince says that Benny doesn’t have to like him; he just has to work with him. Benny complains that Bas pisses off everyone, but Prince defends Bas on grounds of his long experience. Benny looks mutinous. “Who’s running this paper? Who’m I working for, you or him?” At that moment, Noxee pops her head in the doorway to announce the arrival of the focus group. Before he goes downstairs, Prince thrusts the milk carton at Benny, saying that he (Benny) works for him (Prince); and he (Benny) must never forget that. Ooh.
On the way to meet the focus group, Noxee nags Prince about Malume, reminding him that he promised Malume could stay. It is obvious Prince could not care less. “I’ve got enough freeloaders on my payroll already,” he says as he strides into…a room full of middle to upper class people. He stops short. Glaring at them, he asks rudely, “Where the hell did you get this lot?” “They’re the people the Bulletin used,” says Noxee meekly. Prince wants to know how many people came there by taxi. One person puts up her hand. Train? What about naming the most recent addition to the royal Swazi household? Nothing. “These are not our readers,” Prince declares. When Noxee wants to know exactly who their readers are, he tells her, “Highways and by-ways, Nox. They’re black, they’re poor, and they sure as hell aren’t readers of the old Bulletin.”
As Noxee is showing the now-unwanted members of the former focus group out, she catches sight of Malume, who, armed with his trusty stick, has taken it upon himself to frisk all visitors entering the Bullet premises. When the visitor turns around, Noxee is horrified to realise it is none other than Pastor Botha, who is there to meet with TJ. She apologises profusely, but the Pastor seems to be ok with it. Once she has called TJ, Noxee turns to Malume. She tells him she’s had it up to here. She repeats that there is no work, and that Prince has said he can’t stay. She takes out some money, “a little something to help you make a plan.” Malume pretends to be insulted at first, but takes the cash anyway. She tells him that she wants it over with that day.
Upstairs, coffee room. Bas is looking over Kim’s article and offering her some advice, but she ends up enlightening him with regard to the tax situation in the country. Never one to miss an opportunity (axiom 6), Bas suggests a course in cultural integration over a drink that evening. Kim is appalled. “I don’t think so.” “I’ll leave the thought with you,” Bas says, calling Axiom 6 after her as she makes her escape.
Benny is looking harried as he gives instructions to a journalist departing on a story. He calls Noxee over; he wants to know how he can get Prince to listen to him. Noxee smiles disbelievingly. “I’m serious,” says Benny. “I can’t work like this.” The two mutter disparagingly about Bas. Then, a thought strikes Noxee as she’s about to walk away: “It’s no good trying to tell Prince something, but if you can show him…” She leaves the sentence hanging as tinkly music suggests the Formation of an Idea. Benny, looking thoughtful, reaches for the phone and dials. “Ivan? It’s Benny. You got a few hours to spare?”
Prince asks Kim’s opinion of Bas; she responds diplomatically, by saying that she thinks they can learn a lot from him. Prince seems grateful for this non-negative response.
“Office Of the Newspaper,” says Malume importantly. “Yes. I’m listening. Hellooo…” Noxee comes running, and grabs the phone out of his hand. “Bullet, hello, please hold,” she says brightly, before turning on Malume a Death Stare of note. “It was ringing…” he tries to explain, but Noxee has Had Enough. She tells him he’s got three hours to get out.
The new focus group has arrived (this is one very long day, let me tell you). Noxee is handing out newspapers to them as they enter, and Prince emerges from his office to say approvingly, “Now that’s more like it.” He tells Bas to join them; “We need to know how they think.” “It doesn’t matter what they think,” Bas mutters to himself. “They’ll think what we tell ‘em to think.”
The focus group seems to approve of the front page, although no one says much, and this annoys Bas. “Chatty bunch.” he says sarcastically. “Hello? Anyone home?” Prince holds up a hand for him to be quiet. He tells the people to turn the page, and the page 3 girl is greeted with shock and outrage. A woman asks if they have to show pictures like that in a country with such a huge rape problem. She also calls the model a whore, which is pretty funny. Prince looks thoughtful, but Bas looks incredulous.
Ivan arrives. “Oh, the irony of this moment,” he intones as he and Benny shake hands and Benny thanks him for coming. Benny gives Ivan the mieliemeal copy and a quick rundown of the style and angle. Ivan sits himself at Bas’s desk and gets to work.
Inside the focus group, Bas is growing more and more exasperated. He suddenly notices Ivan at his desk. “Be right back,” he says, cutting off Prince’s protests. He slams the door behind him. “Bloody hell,” he mutters. Noxee appears in front of him. “How’s it going in there?” “Riveting,” he says sarcastically. Noxee tries to distract him with tea, but he’s having none of it. He wants to know who’s at his desk. Noxee feigns ignorance at first, but then tells Bas that the ‘geezer’ is a network guy, because there’s something wrong with the computer. “Really,” says Bas disbelievingly. Prince calls him back into the office, and somewhat reluctantly, he goes.
Adverts.
Noxee arrives at Malume’s Crib with a box. She calls for him, but when she does not get an answer, she starts chucking his stuff into the box. Suddenly, she comes across a photo of him as a young man. Melodramatically, she sinks to her knees and says to herself, “Oh, what am I doing?” Indeed.
On his way out, Ivan walks past Bas, who wants to know if he’s fixed the problem. “Oh yeah,” says Ivan, with an odd gleam in his eye; “it’s sorted.” Bas strolls along to Prince’s office, and proceeds to give him a lesson on the history of The Sun. (As in, the newspaper.) Basically, he’s advocating the inclusion of the page 3 girl. Prince tries to argue, saying that that was Britain and this is South Africa; but Bas won’t listen. He uses the metaphor of smoking; saying that nobody liked their first cigarette, but that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
Benny walks into the focus group, carrying copies of two different front pages. He distributes them among the people and then sticks the two different pages on opposite walls; one with the boat as the front page story, and one with the maize story. Bas marches in angrily, with Prince following in his wake. “Won’t take a minute,” Benny tells them. “You are overreaching, son,” Bas says threateningly, complete with pointing finger. “Just who do you think you are?” “News editor, last time I checked,” Benny snarks. He walks back to the front of the room and starts addressing the focus group, but is interrupted by…well, no prizes for guessing who. “All right, that’s enough; outta here!” Bas snarls. He’s been doing a lot of that recently. Prince holds up a hand; he wants to hear what Benny’s got to say. Well, it’s simple enough: all those who want to read this newspaper, stand over here. All those who’d rather read that newspaper, stand the other side. There is much shuffling around, but soon the outcome is clear: everyone wanted to read the maize story. Well, no surprise there: consequence, people. Basic news value; journalism 151. How does this affect my readers? Anyway: Bas is furious, and humiliated, but he tries to bluster his way out of it. “This doesn’t prove anything!” He then hurls the ‘midget’ line that christened this recap, turns on his heel and stalks out of the office, slamming the door behind him. Benny can’t help looking just a little bit pleased with himself, as Prince caresses his chin thoughtfully (his own chin, not Benny’s).
Noxee is dumping Malume’s stuff on the pavement, when he sidles out of a doorway. Having tried everything else, he now resorts to flattery. He tells her that she’s his very good friend, and hands her a bunch of suspiciously familiar pink roses, saying they’re as beautiful as she is. She appears touched by this, but at that moment, Kim walks up the steps. She does a double-take when she sees the flowers. “Hey! These are mine.” Noxee tries to apologise, but Kim walks off, muttering to herself. Noxee gives Malume a Look, but before she can lay into him properly, there is a cry of pain from inside the office. They rush towards the sound and see Kim struggling to her feet, mumbling furiously about suing the damn paper if someone doesn’t do something about the flooring.
Cut to: Malume, taking up the floor. At the same time, the focus group is leaving, and Prince is escorting them out. A woman (the woman who made the ‘whore’ comment earlier) wants to know if they can reserve page 3 for “positive stories about empowering rural women.” How very PC. Prince is diplomatically saying that it’s certainly an idea, when he trips over Malume on the floor. Malume apologises profusely, and so does Noxee. Prince wants to know who the guy is. “That’s Malume-Oupa, “ says Noxee; “the…caretaker!” Prince looks startled. He hired a caretaker? Noxee tells him that if it weren’t for her, he would forget his own name. Prince looks down at Malume. “Good,” he says, impressed by his own cleverness. “Right then, Oupa: carry on.”
Prince fires Bas. Well, basically. He doesn’t actually say “you’re fired”: he tells Bas that it’s not going to work, and that he (Prince) needs to do this his own way. Bas wants to know if that’s what his gut’s telling him; Prince says it is. “Axiom 7, mate,” says Bas; “always trust your gut.” He picks up his jacket and heads out, calling “Too-rah little man; look after this one for me” to Benny as he passes. In the entrance he sees Kim, and stops. “What about that drink, then?” Kim looks at him. “Axiom 8: always make a dignified exit.” Bas looks startled for a moment, then smiles and inclines his head. Touch.
Prince is examining the front page. “This is good,” he tells Benny. “Ivan Ferris; I believe you’ve met,” says Benny, quite politely. Prince admits that he needs a new Chief Sub, and wonders if he’s still in the market. Benny shrugs. “I’ll check.” Prince goes back to his office and Benny picks up the phone. “Ivan? What you doing for the next couple of years?”
Congratulations to Curious Pictures on their 24 Safta nominations (wow!), and especially to Jody Abrahams, Fiona Ramsay and James Ngcobo, and to Tim Greene and the rest of the technical team. Here's holding thumbs on 28 October!