Now this is what I’m talking about. The game has finally kicked into high gear. Conflicts have arisen, cracks are forming and emotions are getting frayed. Let’s see these people suffer and their nasty sides emerge.
I’m so excited about the growing skullduggery within the tribe that I’m not even that put out by Mzi’s leaving. He’s easily my favourite so I should be cursing Jacinda and Lezel’s name but I’m pretty mellow about his elimination.
Maybe it’s because I am firmly convinced he is going to be the one to come back from Dead Man’s Island so I have faith that I’ll see him again. See, this is another problem with the DMI twist – it takes a lot of the urgency and emotion out of the vote because the person that ends up leaving isn’t really voted out yet; they’re just in limbo.
Speaking of Isla de la Hombre Muerto (it sounds more ominous in Spanish, don’t you think?), the episode began with Brigitte being taken there. Birds that I fancied to be vultures but were probably just gulls circled menacingly as she gazed upon the desolate landscape that would be her temporary home. Somewhere, Nico must’ve been cackling at her dark fate.
The remaining members of Bourbon were unaware of this of course. They almost instantly forgot about Brigitte and were already turning their thoughts towards the next Tribal Council.
Vanessa tried to latch onto Jacinda and Lezel in the hopes of forming an all-female alliance and saving herself. As they bathed together and soaped up their womanly curves – the pervy cameraman who had so loved to capture Brigitte’s body on film must have perked up immensely at this – Vanessa put all her powers of persuasion to work.
Nothing doing. But Magic Eight-Ball says “Try again later”, Vanessa, because next week is the perfect time to form an all-women’s alliance when they outnumber the men three to two.
Reward Challenge came and it involved putting together a block puzzle for a massage and pampering reward. The challenge itself was fairly unmemorable and Jacinda won it. The interesting bit came afterwards when Mark asked her which person she’d like to take along on the reward.
Jacinda not-very-wisely picked Lezel. Ooh, not a good move at all. Jacinda is currently the obvious top dog in Bourbon. She’s the visible leader. She’s in a good position and her challenge now is to hold onto that position until the final three.
What Jacinda needs to do now if she doesn’t want to get targeted by the lower-tiered people in the tribal hierarchy is not allow any dissenters to be able to organise. She should have taken someone not firmly in her alliance but someone on the fringes like Zayn or An Aguileran – ideally Vanessa.
How many times have we seen the alpha players fall because they got too secure in their power? Just look at Ami from Vanuatu or Burton from Pearl Islands for example. It didn’t turn out to be fatal for Jacinda but it does show that she isn’t the mastermind she probably sees in her own mind.
Gareth claimed that Jacinda taking Lezel with her was a good move because Lezel was put off by getting votes at the previous TC so Jacinda was solidifying her alliance with Lezel.
Gareth is full of *bleep!* because there is no way Lezel would turn against Jacinda for that reason. As Jacinda’s closest ally, Lezel is in an excellent position and she’d have to be completely stupid to throw that away. And if there’s one thing this episode has made clear, it’s that Lezel is one of the few actually using her brain and strategising.
As Jacinda and Lezel enjoyed their pampering and the rest of the Bourbonites enjoyed their mango, we got to see more glimpses of life into Hombre Muerto. Apparently the worst thing about La Isla is that it’s dead boring.
Scenes of blank Brigitte looking blankly around or blankly draping a tarp over a tree branch aren’t exactly must-see television. Nor is the monotone monologue Brigitte provides us with detailing all the stuff that’s not happening on the island. Brigitte Jones’ Diary it is not.
The Immunity Challenge was a slingshot competition like you usually see on the US Survivor only worse. How can the local version possibly screw up a slingshot challenge, you ask? Through a bit of poor design. The show treated each slingshot shot as an elimination round so only the person to hit their target was allowed to take another shot.
What they should have done is scrapped the elimination part of the competition and given the Immunity to the first person to hit all three of their targets. I’ve learned to ignore the poor music so the challenges have now become the worst aspect of Survivor SA. Hopefully, the producers will address this aspect big time if they (crossing fingers here) get a second season.
The challenge was therefore fairly yawny and the most interesting thing about it was seeing the strange bendy position that Lezel took as she was preparing to fire her slingshot. Gareth beat Vanessa in the finals and looks to be the biggest challenge threat.
With Mzi sans immunity necklace, he couldn’t help but read the writing on the wall. He prepared himself for his probable elimination and hung out with his mate Vanessa. I didn’t realise until I saw him standing next to her that he’s so short.
The male members of Rama were having doubts about voting off Mzi however. After all, he was the one who caught all the fish and what would they do without their human Swiss Army Knife? According to them, Mzi deserved to stay longer.
They told themselves that they wanted to keep him on because of their morals and values but we all know that Zayn and Gareth were really in it for the fish. I’m pretty sure Zayn in particular would convince himself that Saddam Hussein was deserving as long as Saddam provided him with regular fish meals.
They meekly asked The Chairperson if she could let Mzi stay for a bit longer. She agreed leading them to happily scoot off and tell Mzi. When Jacinda’s very own Grima Wormtongue, Lezel, heard what had happened, she immediately pointed out the obvious flaw in this plan.
The best committee meeting ever then followed as the Ramans engaged in a big ol’ brawl. Lezel pointed out the obvious fact that Mzi was a much bigger threat than Vanessa and needed to go as early as possible before he could screw up Rama’s plans.
Duh! This is Survivor 101. It’s not just that Mzi is a threat to win immunity – he hasn’t won any after all and Vanessa has come closer to winning one than he has – but that he’s a much more charismatic and dangerous presence to have around. Just look at how he divided the Ramans over voting him out. You’d have to be a complete and utter moron not to vote him out as soon as possible.
Speaking of complete and utter morons, Gareth and Zayn objected loudly and claimed that he was more deserving of being there longer than Vanessa (translation: We don’t want to give up our fish yet even if it does threaten our positions in the game).
Lezel took objection to their claim that Mzi did everything and pointed out that she did her fair share around camp. Yes, I’m sure her long, skinny frame makes a great place to hang clothes to dry.
Zayn was especially annoying as he rent his clothing in misery at the thought of voting against his heart. “It’s a cowardly decision,” he orated dramatically in his Oscar clip. No, it is a strategic decision that’s part of the game. It is no worse than taking someone’s money when they land on your property in Monopoly.
“I just want to be able to play against the strongest,” Zayn wept, “I only want to compete if I can say I competed against the best.”
Oh for fuck’s sake, what a load of steaming kak. He is already competing against the strongest – the entire point of the competition is to vote off the strongest and the biggest threats to your winning the money. And guess what? The people left at the end are the best because they are the ones who have been able to outwit, outplay and outlast the competition, thus fulfilling the basic requirements of the game.
Is it a sneaky and manipulative game? Damn straight it is which is why I don’t understand why moralising fools insist on agreeing to play the game when all they’re going to do is whine about the standards by which they agreed to play.
When it came to TC, the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with Gareth’s cheekbones. What a dramatic TC it was. It became immediately obvious that the Rama boys had lost the argument and had agreed to vote out Mzi.
Gareth’s face looked as droopy as his hair while Zayn started the waterworks again and talked about how this vote was going to go against his morals etc etc. Oh boo hoo, cry me a river. This is such ridiculous grandstanding in order to make himself feel better.
Hey, Zayn? If you feel so strongly about your beliefs and morals, put your money where your mouth is. Ask your tribemates to vote you off instead if you think Mzi deserves to stay longer. Refuse point blank to vote for Mzi no matter what the consequences. Lay down your torch like Vanessa asked to do. Whatever.
Tears of guilt don’t mean anything without action. You are still implicit in voting out Mzi no matter how much of a song and dance you put on about voting him out. God, what a pussy.
This episode right here is where I lost all respect for Zayn and to a lesser extent, Gareth. I hope the Rama chicks decimate them. Jacinda may be the Borg Queen with all the warmth of an ice lolly and Lezel may be a new ager who calls committees to solve everything but at least they’re playing the game full-force without this self-deluding crap about morals and deserving.
Vanessa too was in tears and offered to put her torch down until Mark pointed out there would still be a vote and Mzi was screwed anyway. See? I like that. As a gameplayer, she’s totally shite and undeserving of the win but as a person she earns my respect. She actually did something to try and save Mzi rather than bellyache about it like Zayn and Gareth.
Voting time came and Zayn and Gareth did not stick to their convictions. What was it Zayn said about the coward’s way out? Mzi was voted out and off he went to la Isla de Brigitte Muerto. Damn, I was really hoping Brigitte would have to suffer for a bit longer.
So long, Mzi, and thanks for all the fish.
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