Casaya’s wicked dysfunction continues to serve them well as they’ve won Immunity again. It is a cruel joke that the more the Casayans hate and want to kill each other, the better they do.
It’s funny stuff, watching the Casayans eye each other with barely disguised loathing as they plot to vote off their worst enemies, only to win yet another challenge and avoid TC completely. I have seen no greater proof for the existence for a god with a twisted sense of humour than the warped irony of life at Casaya.
After the disorganised TC where they voted out Bobby, Shane was displeased with how the women had voted and decided to make his feelings known as everyone was trying to sleep. Like a whining mosquito buzzing around her ear, Shane ranted at Danielle about how it had been a strategic mistake to vote off Bobby.
He’s right of course. But he’s just so unbearable in the way he confronts people, that once again I found myself agreeing with Danielle as she told him to shut up. I can’t take Shane at the best of times so I can hardly imagine the pain of having him carp on about things when I’m trying to sleep.
So horrified was he by the emotion-based voting the women had done that he announced his intention to leave the psychotic alliance. But alas, he had sworn on his son and could not break that sacred bond without his son immediately being snatched up be demons and taken to the deepest pits of Hades. “Only if you release me from the vow I swore on my son can I leave this alliance,” he argued.
You’d think that if he took vowing on his kid so seriously that he wouldn’t actually risk anything happening to his son by using him in a cutthroat game like Survivor. But he keeps throwing around his son’s name in these alliances and promises like a casino chip. It’s not like he even has to have someone give him back his son’s name to get out of the alliance. All he has to do is act annoying enough and they’ll vote him out without him having to do a thing to compromise his word.
Words were exchanged between Shane and Danielle, none of them remotely intelligent. Morning came and Cirie tried to help Shane further dig his grave by informing the absent Courtney of what he’d said about wanting to leave the alliance. I notice Cirie has the most wonderful evil laugh when she’s shirring up *bleep!*.
Muahahahahaha!Courtney was just as put out as Danielle by Shane’s hatred of the psychotic alliance and planned to get him out of the game with a stealth chop. “Like a guillotine,” she said as she made a chopping motion with her hands, missing the point that someone in a guillotine would probably know their head was about to be lopped off.
All the evidence pointed to Shane’s time on the island being up. By the rules of editing, this meant he was as safe. Damn.
Courtney's reaction to the thought of getting rid of Shane. You now know what her O-face looks like.At La Mana, the boys (and Sally) were trying to find food just so that they could have protein to get them through the game. I’m surprised they haven’t taken a machete to Sally yet with how they don’t seem to regard her as much more than a sacrificial lamb.
As they tried to catch minnows in a rock pool, Austin talked about if they got protein, they could change the course of the game. He caught a tiny minnow in his hands and swallowed it, officially changing the game forever. OK, not really but don’t say anything so the other minnows won’t feel bad their brother died for nothing.
Dan had gotten so close to the boys (and Sally) that he sunnily decided to reveal his past as an astronaut. The boys (and Sally) were moonstruck that a real-life spaceman was living among them and immediately set to hero-worshipping his pale, bony behind. With stars in their eyes, they grilled him about his space adventures. Come on now, guys (and Sally), stop spacing out over this guy and get your heads back in the game and out of Uranus.
Austin decided to make his own revelation and confessed that his real name was actually John Grisham. Hee. You know, this would be the perfect time for Terry to reveal he’s Top Gun because everyone will just assume he’s joking like Austin. Sadly, the camera cut away before we could learn of Nick’s past as the inventor of the Internet and how Sally is actually a CIA spy.
After a brief detour to Casaya where we learned everyone was still fighting and wanting to kill Shane, it was time for the combined Immunity and Reward challenge. The teams had to gather big skull-shaped boards and then complete a puzzle with them.
They raced off and tried to get the puzzle pieces and Terry bashed into Shane accidentally which no doubt caused the Casayans much hidden laughter. Casaya initially fell behind. As Danielle used her beaver mouth to bite through the rope, I was surprised to notice she has some underarm hair going on. Hmm, I wonder why that is? Maybe the cocaine baggy-smuggling Shane stole the razor the producers provided to cut his lines of coke?
Anyway, back to the challenge. Sally and Dan went for the tried and tested method of bashing in a puzzle piece until it fits so Cirie and Bruce easily managed to beat them. Wow, that was a bad performance from Dan and Sally. You’d think for a NASA astronaut and a…whatever the hell Sally does, they’d be better at solving things.
"Give me a C! Give me an A! Give me an S! Give me an A! Give me a Y! Give me an A! What does that spell? CRAAAAZY!"Because the latest exile would end up missing TC, Casaya smartly chose Sally to go to EI. Geez, even the tribe who lives on a totally different beach can tell La Mana is a boys’ own adventure and Sally’s next.
Sally was perfectly happy at her fate “I can have some girl time while I’m over here,” she grinned, dreaming of the makeovers and slumber parties she could finally have with herself. “And now have some time to find that immunity idol.” Yeah, I wouldn’t count on that last part if I were you.
Casaya’s reward was to go to a Panamanian village and give the kids toys, after which they’d have a barbecue. Come on now, whatever did the Panamanians do to deserve these nutters’ company? Everyone loved this totally, or at least pretended to because how evil do you have to be not to enjoy helping poor kids?
"Spending time with poor kids? What kind of a crap reward is that? I want some Dunhills, goddamit." Cirie was particularly happy because the Panamanian kids reminded her of her own family. “It’s really nice to be with new people other than
these people,” she interviewed, giving a delicious sneer at the last two words. She really is the master of the understated insult, isn’t she?
Shane decided he would try and procure some nicotine and traded some guy his shoes for a cigarette. They did not show Shane later offering to trade a quick bugger behind the town hall for more. They’re saving that for the bonus DVD footage. As he contentedly puffed on a ciggie, he reflected on the negative effects of nicotine on his body. Not that that’s going to put him off it or anything.
With his nicotine cravings sated, Shane’s brain began to function again and he apologized to Courtney and Danielle for being such a dick to them. This made Cirie sad because everyone was in love again and Shane had backtracked out of danger. No worries, Cirie, he’s going to be off the nicotine again pretty soon and there’s no way his new contrite attitude will last.
“This is one of the top five experiences of my life,” Shane informed us. I suspect the other four are his first smoke, his first tattoo, his first crack pipe hit and the birth of his son (but only because he got to smoke cigars in the waiting room).
Scenes from a Panamanian village: 
Courtney and Danielle do their best to put young boys off women for life.
A friendly soccer game with the locals. Courtney tries to convince one of her teammates to tackle Aras by kicking him in the shin.
Everyone enjoys a bout of cockfighting - fun for the whole family.
La Mana meanwhile struggled (Dan) to decide (Dan) who (Dan) to vote (Dan) off (Dan). Sally’s absence was affecting them more than her presence ever had because now they had to vote for one of their own. Way to let down your teammates, Sally, getting sent off when they needed you like that.
Austin and Nick convinced Terry that they would be better off voting off Dan rather than risking a tie. Or a 2v2 as they called it. Sounds like the name of a boyband to me. I guess that makes Dan the Bryan McFadden of the group.
Dan didn’t help his case by harping on about how badly he’d done at the challenge. “If I’d screwed up like that in space, people would’ve died,” he intoned ominously. I guess now we know who was responsible for Apollo 13 and Challenger.
At TC, the boys all said nice things about Dan and claimed he had the right stuff. Sure he does, just not for this game. Terry as much as admitted he was going to vote off Dan in the best interests of the team so it was no surprise when the boy scouts voted off their space cowboy.
So with a mere four people, La Mana (and Sally) face the merge next week. Will they be able to penetrate the solid defenses of Casaya? Ordinarily I’d say it would be easy to divide such a muddled and dysfunctional bunch but this
is Casaya we’re talking about.