Big Love - Polygamy loves Company
I find it quite disturbing that I have been following Big Love for the last few weeks.
Morbid curiosity, that’s what it is.
I hate casting stones, judging others and all that but I really just can’t comprehend the concept of polygamy. Or why women would agree to it.
Firstly I should tell those that don’t know already, I am a Muslim woman. And this is important because it is a known fact that some Muslim men practice polygamy. It is a very controversial topic but my views are clear – I am totally against it.
That being said, I know a few women who are in polygamous marriages and I have seen first-hand the consequences thereof. Is this why I am so drawn to watch this?
The creators of Big Love have created a fictional religion for the polygamists, but it seems to be similar to those of Mormons, Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
It centers around Bill Henrickson, his three wives and their children, who all live happily (or not) together as one extended family.
The wives regard each other as sisters (or not) and regard each others children as their own – or so they say. They share chores, meals, kids and off course, a husband; each getting their fair share as per schedule.
I mean COME ON.
KNOWING that your husband is doing it with some other woman has to create some sort of issues. Is she better than me? Does he love her more than he does me? What can she offer him that I can’t?
Yet these women have accepted it. Is it because they were brought up this way and taught that it was normal and accepted? And are they not instilling these same beliefs into their kids?
The men clearly have the best of ALL worlds here.
There’s a joke that goes something like this: what is the punishment for polygamy? Multiple mother-in-laws.
But most of these women come out of polygamous homes so the mothers see it as natural. Not only that, in this week’s episode Nicki's mom refused to get involved in “family” matters.
It screamed of Subservience to the male.
But I can't help liking these women, except for Nicki (wife number 2 )off course. She just creeps me out. She is so meddlesome and judgmental and is always looking out for herself first. Slappable bitch.
Barb, wife number one, seems to have it so together. So how did she end up with such an asshole to begin with. I don’t think she was born into it (her sister isn’t into to it, so I am ASSUMING that Barb married into it)
Margene. Wife number three. The youngest of the sisters and not the brightest crayon in the box, but you can’t help but feel sorry for her. All she wants is to be liked and accepted and does her best to please everybody even though it always goes a bit askew.
In tonight’s episode Nicky was going on and on about morals. I mean, hello! Polygamy is ILLEGAL. If it wasn’t you wouldn’t be hiding your way of life from the world, so why get on your high horse about morals?
She nearly got a fit when she saw Ben (Barb’s eldest son) kissing a girl – excuse me Pot, but you’re sleeping with another woman’s husband.
I think what grates me the most about this show is not the arrogance of Bill and men like him who take on more than one wife, but the acceptance of their behavior by the women in their lives. Their willingness to share and serve makes me want to scream out: Have you no pride? Have you no dignity? How can you accept this?
By no means am I having a go at Mormons here. Polygamy in the LDS was abolished somewhere around 1890 but many continued – and still continue to practice it. A mere 3% of Utah Mormons are polygamists (about 60 000)
So if it riles me and irks me, why do I still watch Big Love? Morbid curiosity coupled with an excellent cast and a very real look at polygamy; a topic that many people want to sweep under the carpet.
I was very quick to slam it after the first episode because I thought it would sensationalize polygamy. After watching a few more episodes though, I realize that living in a blanket of ignorance does not protect us from the realities of life.
It’s out there.
And it needs to be exposed for the ridiculousnous that it is.
And who better to do this than HBO.