Last week's episode ended with Whiny Heather being kicked out of the show.This week's episode started with the gals making sacred vows.Xiomara vows to keep her deep,dark secret under wraps and lay off the crack,Weeping Catie vows to naver shed a tear.LOL! We'll just have to wait and see.Jeanascia wishes she was a lil' bit taller. My advice: Invest in a pair of stilts and drink plenty of Scott's Emulsion.Mercedes-Benz has a dilemma:her hair is falling out because of her illness. Does anyone have 7 de Laan's Vanessa's contact details? Maybe she can lend her one of her craptastic wigs.
The following day,the gals have breakfast and they have to get ready to meet the personal trainer. But as always,Camille,the Queen of Sheba,takes her own damn time getting dressed.Yoanna gets pissed off and they go on without her.The Queen is not impressed by their rude behaviour. They finally arrive at the boxing gym and the gals have to don their boxing gloves to beat the crap out of the punching bag.The only problem is that they're not punching the bag,they're massaging or patting the bag as if it's a pet. Bloody fools!
The only gals left standing are April and Camille.The gals cheer for April while they boo and throw garbage at Camille. Miss Thang is not phased though and the gals have to do push-ups. April does push-ups while Camille gives us a special demonstration of the missionary position.Control your hormones,girl! This is a family show. April is declared the winner.
Tyramail arrives and the gals have to wear clothes which reflect their personal style. They're then shipped off to a design studio where they meet Tyra nad some designer. The gals have to stand up and explain their personal style.Yoanna's dress sense is a hit, Xiomara proudly represents the NYC trannys with her breast implants,tight abs and a long skirt to hide her bulge.Camille goes Miss Jamaica on us and even has the Jamaican flag on her ass.She apologises to Tyra about the fact that she left her stash of the "holy herb" at the penthouse.
Shandi proudly flaunts her R29.99 skirt from Pep Stores,which is a miss.Catie's turn arrives and she proudly gives Tyra and co. a lame explanation about her style.The designer is not impressed and bluntly tells her that she has the dress sense of a hooker. Catie is not thrilled and starts doing what she does best. Hmm,I wonder if she forgot her sacred vow so quickly.The other gals laugh at her and Tyra has a this bitch is getting on my nerves look on her face.Poor lamb! At least she knows if the modelling thing doesn't work out,she can always sell her booty at Greenpoint or Hillbrow.
Tyramail arrives and the gals have to meet Betsy Johnson.Instead of meeting a classy,sophisticated woman,the gals get the fright of their lives when a drag queen with a bird's nest on his head and 2 tons of make up plastered on his face arrives.Shandi almost faints and Xiomara is thrilled to finally meet a kindred spirit.Betsy the Drag Queen gives them a challenge to rummage through each other's wardrobes to select clothes which reflect their personality.Camille shrieks when she finds a pair of briefs in Xiomara's drawers.Xiomara agrees to lend her some of her jewellery to keep her mouth shut.
The gals get ready in 15 minutes and they get to strut their stuff on the catwalk. Yoanna is a hit,Camille struts her stuff and Jeanascia thinks the runaway is an audition for a hip-hop music video and does the booty hop.Betsy is not impressed and tells her she needs to attend modelling school. Shame! But she should've known the runaway is not one of Beyonce's music videos.Shandi's attempts to be sexy fall flatter than a cheesy pick-up line. But she wins (strangely) and she chooses Tranny and Yoanna to be her dinner guests.
Tranny confronts Queen Camille,who broke her earring and Camille is like "Whatever bitch"..Careful Camille!.I wouldn't mess with Tranny if I were you. Day turns into night and her mystery guest is none other than what's-her-name,last season's ANTM winner.She tells them that she enjoys modeling.Yeah,I'm sure posing for Playboy magazine was a blast. Tranny gets catty and rats on the other models.
Tyramail arrives and the gals have to go to the studio,where they're met by Tyra and Gay Jay.They're told that their next challenge is to impersonate famous celebs.Catie gets to be Marilyn Monroe(Marilyn must be turning on her grave.Why didn't they tell her to impersonate Jenna Jameson?) ,Shandi gets to be Nicole Kidman,Camille gets to be Diana Ross,Yoanna gets to be Audrey Hepburn and Tranny gets to impersonate Grace Jones.Tranny is not impressed.She thought she was gonna impersonate RuPaul,her idol.
Tranny gets a shiteous makeover which resultsby in her looking as if she was swimming in a sewerage plant. Shandi looked gorgeous,April looked stiff as Angelina Jolie and Catie had to show her ass.Scary Tranny had to squat like a sumo wrestler.Good heavens! No wonder I had nightmares last night! Catie calls her boyfriend to whine about how life is so unfair and Boyfriend screams "Shut up,bitch!" on the other end.
Elimination night comes up and the gals have to accecorise their black dresses. Yoanna borrows Cloud 9's pearls,Jeanascia looks like a B-Grade version of J-Lo,Xiomara has the whole Gypsy Tranny look going on. The judges are mesmerised by Tranny's pic,which was crowned as the best pic. Are these judges drunk? Yoanna and Mercedes' pics also got positive feedback.The sword hangs over the heads of Catie,who's told that she looks like a "beautiful man" by The World's First Supermodel (If Tyra mentions that one more time,I won't be responsible for my actions!) and Jeanascia,who's told that she looks like Salma Hayek when she has a nervous twitch.Ghetto fabulous Tyra spares Catie and tells Jean to get her tiny ass out of the penthouse.Jeanascia whines about the discrimination she's faced during ANTM and vows to start her own support group for midgets.
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