Before you give me the award for knowing that Kelly "tshitshirish" Khumalo was going to be on the hot seat, let’s take a moment to give a round of applause to Trevor Noah for his skills and turning RGB into a one man show. I'll humble myself and give him the award due to me, because he was HOT! HOT! HOT!
Am I the only person who notices that Real Goboza, is more a magazine/lifestyle show than a gossip show? Afterall Simphiwe Mthembu, SABC1 Publicity and Events Manager confirmed it:
“The magazine series known to the cool simply as the RGB is E! Entertainment meets Shwashwi, meets Heat and Drum, meets FHM, Cosmopolitan and True Love."
I agree with this statement completely because in all the years I've bought magazines such as True Love, I have never seen any gossip in the mag. With Drum, it's only international gossip squeezed on the third last page. So, can this put our minds at ease that RGB is another Seskhona, Selimathunzi and Street Journal. The only difference is that it starts with the letter R... ha! ha! ha!
Getting to business. Did RGB read this blog? I have reason to believe they did. To be more clued up refer to the article titled "Saving Real Goboza":
1. The dress sense.
Where is Rebecca to say Hallelujah for us, because on this one we were heard? I told you the tie was too tight for Trevor. Being less formal does it for you guys… great move.
2. The sound.
It was sorted. So far, so good...
3. The links.
RGB is doing so well so far, you even removed the whole Malik link to introduce Lelo's slot? I'm beyond impressed. But I see the beef with DJ Sbu is on-going seeing that you still have the Sfunu' kwazi link. Anyway, you sort it out with him…
4. The updates.
Yo, Now I know RGB read this blog. No more old news… but guys cum on. No old news, didn't mean BORING news. I had to gulp gallons of water to stay awake on this one. The "Boris Kodjoe in SA" tried to wake me, but please give us more, asseblief.
5. Interviews.
I'm proud of you RGB. One interview at a time. I'm sure you also noticed that it was a great move. Giving the interview to Noah, just put the cherry on top. Please don't remove that cherry.
6. What's in your bag.
It's gone! It's gone! Lets say it all together... "Hallelujah". Manje, what is it with that 10 Questions? Haibo RGB. That's so immature and ridiculous. Imagine a "gossip" show asking a person what colour your toothbrush is? Iyo, Mara Louw help us on this one ..... "Hayikhona". Those questions are lame. Ask more appropriate questions or scrape the whole 10 Questions thing. It's not working...
7. The presenters. (Ooooh I'm going to be nailed on this one).
*Trevor Noah.
Bhuti, you stole the show. Where were you hiding all that talent? Thanx for making RGB a one-man show. With all that zeal, why do you need side-kicks?
Firstly, I admire how professional you are. Secondly, I credit you for making an effort to make RGB into a "gossip" show. Your attitude and guts, is what's needed for the survival of the show.
I dig how you confronted Ephraim about the animal he killed for the jacket; you caught him off guard judging by his irrelevant-long explanation. You didn't nurse his incompetence and just cut him short and demanded an answer – yo my brother, that was sheer brilliance.
You know how to get to the bottom of things - nice one on finding out if Tumi was preggies. It was so funny when you mentioned the adoption option. ha! ha! ha!
Your interview with Kelly made the show. Damn, I was impressed. The questions were brilliant. Calling her a Cash Cow, telling her she's boring, questioning her intelligence and then calling her a bimbo and to top it off calling her isidudla and showing the pictures.... You rocked and deserve "my" award 110%. Even the tshitshiboya almost cried. That was killer stuff, don't ever change. RGB, thumbs up on taking on Trevor Noah - he is your diamond, now treasure him.
*Dineo.
My luv I still maintain, your rough voice is beautiful and it seems the swelling went down (or is it my wishful thinking?) ha! ha! ha! Even though your voice is gold, I prefer you not saying much or nothing at all on RGB. Reason being, you are not using that aggressive voice, to be exactly that... aggressive. Stop sucking up to these shlebs darling; they'll do nothing for you on this show. If you are not careful, they will cost you the show. You were an irritating side kick yesterday, I just wanted to tell you to "shut up" when you kept on interrupting to say, "you are beautiful this and beautiful that". Please consult Trevor Noah and take some lessons from him, I believe you have potential, but stop putting up face, it doesn't suit you.
*Lelo.
Why weren't you wearing the suit, like suggested? It could have done wonders for you, because the change of attire for your collegues worked miracles. Last week I blamed the sound for you being inaudible, but this week there's no scapegoat. Your sweet, little voice was not audible enough. Being so nervous did you no justice either. Presenting gossip to the nation in that voice was just not on, where was the attitude? It felt more like listening to a fairy tale story on Takalani Sesame. The gossip you were telling us was too long and since we couldn't here you... it made it easier to steal a moment to channel surf. If you don't have attitude, how do you expect to tackle industry icons. Look at how you tried to ridicule Somizi and he put you in your place. Who looked silly afterwards? You or him? Please book a session with Trevor Noah after Dineo, you need it ASAP. Clothing department - a suit is needed here.
(I'm sure a lot of Shugas friends wanna jump me, but we can't be biased because she's uchoma. The truth must be told. The ladies on RGB are not representing and they need us to point out what they need to do to improve.)
8. Technical glitch.
What was going on yesterday? There was no order. Tumi was not on the line as prepared. Your links didn't come on at the right time. You cut Trevor twice while he was speaking.
You can't close one hole only to open another one. Please fix... ASAP
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Please explain how the Trailer of Shrek 3 is part of "gossip", especially after we've seen the damn thing, for more than a month already?
I know he's a designer, but what was up with the horse jockey look? It could be expected from Kwela Tebza, but him? (Hayi this fashion sometimes)
Ishmael, Ishmael, Ishmael. Take a break. Go start something new. Plant a tree. Do something... but shut that trap. Talking about drugs like that was not dope. (no pun intended).
Bricks and the "matching shoes". Did Ephraim advice you on that one?
Buju Mujo's HUMBA story was hilarious. What happened to him being paid R60000 to play a 1 hour set at gigs?
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Overall, RGB has improved. Kodwa, I foresee a Dj Sbu interview next week. Or it is Chomee?
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Did RGB improve? Have you given up on it? Was I too harsh on the presenters?
Woza nazo...