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Where are the Survivor lyrics when you need them?

I watched with bated breath for the first episode and it was all so worth it.

Before I start ranting and raving over the actual episode, I have to comment on the production (after all the woohaa we made about it) and I have to say that they have definitely improved in leaps and bounds on this front. 

Yes, there were a few errors (like not showing who voted for who) but the overall look and feel of the show was excellent! And they could have kept the original song - but I know that back in the day there was some court case regarding the use of the theme song (The actual show was sued for some reason) and so maybe we couldn't use it?? Who knows, whatever the reason - I still wish we could have used it.

On with the show.

The whole capturing and shackling thing could have been skipped. It's not nearly as believable as last years plane trouble and even THAT wasn't very believable. 

I think this one would have worked if they had killed one of the contestants on the spot, that would have scared the buggers shitless. Oh well, I'm sure they're in for "hell in Paradise" regardless - Cue lightning and thunder.

The contestants gave their introduction speeches and as usual - all typical stereotypes. They'll underestimate me, I'm a go getter, I'm shrewd.... blah blah blah! For once I would like to hear someone say something different - maybe rubbing their hands together with glee, mumbling about the dark lord and human sacrifices.

Then.... then... THEN they go and wait for everyone to be untied before they even jump off the boat. What is this, Survivor or a Team Building exercise?? Whose idea was that? I know it was one of the women but I didn't quite catch who it was. So PC I wanted to throttle them.

The challenge would have been exciting if whatsisname had lasted more than just a few minutes on the stump. But I suppose the aim was to get the tribes sorted and then surprise them with Exile Island. I am glad there is an exile island, I just wish there was an immunity idol that went with it. 

I apologise beforehand for not getting the names right - but give me a week or two and I'll be mixing them up properly.

I loved the moment between Dyke, the landscaper, and the other dude. I suppose it can only be Rijesh but I stand corrected. Rijesh says to Dyke "so you're a landscaper?" And Dyke goes on and on about his wonderful job and Rijesh says" is that a glorified name for a gardener?" (ad libbed - but you know what I mean)  Dyke was so offended it was hilarious!!!

Other brilliant Rijesh moments was when they were questioning him about his sexuality. Dyke and him again "So, are you gay? Dyke asks. " Rijesh: "isn't it obvious".
Rijesh: "either way, I'm kissing a Dyke tonight" MAN - he is funny!

And then he tells us, the public, that everyone assumed he was gay and the guys left him alone for the night and he slept with a girl on either arm.
Close up of Rijesh and some female, She: oooh, you smell so good!" So we don't know if he is or he isn't and I so don't care.

I was convinced I was going to hate him. From the beginning when he felt up his own breasts and said that everyone loves his "babies" I was dead sure that he was going to annoy me but he sure redeemed himself with his sense of humour.

Surprisingly, I also like Hein alot. I was pissed off because everyone was expecting him to perform miracles just because he "lives in the bush". if they would just get off their lazy asses maybe that would give him to finish one task at a time. Also, he was the only one who helped that female that froze in the water. Everyone was easy to crit but he's the only one who came up with a solution.

Dyke. his name alone conjures up images of what he is. Dick van Dyke.
I mean really, stereotyping immediately - "people of colour" that can't swim.

I wanted to slap him. Some of my best friends are people of colour, and they can swim. I'M A PERSON OF COLOUR, and I can swim! You Gardener!
Plus, the gardener said it TO a person of colour. How stupid can you get. I see lots of arms crossing and huffing and puffing next week so this is an interesting storyline. 

Love it love it love it, when people start al their stomping early on. So unPC I just LOVE IT!!!

Lazy Lisa also made an impression. I loathe her. She is Pig number 1 - Dyke will be number 2 because even though he's an arrogant so-and-so, he's still helping around the camp. Lisa is just arrogant and vain. Didn't you just love the lazy music they played when she was sitting around doing nothing. And bragging about doing nothing. Oh wait, she collected leaves. 

What put her on my list as number one though, was that she went to Nomfundo to ask her why she (Nomfundo) was voting for her (Lisa), trying to convince her to change her mind. Nomfundo whom SHE was trying to boot out. I also thought it was unfair that they gave Lisa a heads up and not Nomfundo.

And all those that voted Nomfundo out, may you all suffer under the laziness that is Lisa, may you never get fire, may you never have shelter and may you all get eliminated one by one. IDIOTS.

The rest of the episode I spent ogling Mark. Mark on the boat, hair blowing in the wind; Mark on the beach, Mark in the sand, Mark looking right, Mark looking left..... *SIGH* So I have no idea what happened in that damn challenge - all I know is that yellow won.

And I'm delighted that  Survivor Malaysia is off to such a smashing start.

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