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I NEED HELP TO FIND THE CHEAPEST WAY TO GET DIVRCED

Written by T-BOSE from the blog Cheap Divorce on 18 Oct 2007
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I have been married for 4 yrs and now decided to move on with my life. It has been a painful journey for me and now I just want loosen the rope and leave this loveless marriage. I heard there is way where you can get a divorce without involving the lawyers, more especially if it is an uncontested divorce.

The problem started when his 2 teenage kids came and stay with us, they are 20 & 15yrs reapectively. They did everything in their power to come between us and he became so obsessed with them. So I became nothing sometimes he forgot that I even existed except when he needed to SCORE.

This year I came to a decision that I am too young to live this kind of life, because it seems his kids are the ones who are his life partner not me. I just need to leave this life of marriage behind it is not meant for me. The worst part he kept telling he is not planning to have kids anymore while on the other side I plan to have 3 kids before I reach 35yrs. I guess I have to start looking for someone who is prepared to love me and make kids with me.

The sooner I get this divorce out of the way, the sooner I get my true soul mate and to add the juice to the story I have already spotted the candidate (my childhood sweet whom I fell in love with 16yrs ago and desappeared from me until recently)

34 Comments

PhlyLady
18 Oct 2007 06:51

I am so sorry to hear that T-bose although I cant help just wanted to say Jammer.

libra
18 Oct 2007 06:54

sad to here, but good for your to leave while u still have the chance to turn your life around. unfortunately i do not have details about the kind of divorce u looking for but i hope things work out for the best and go get your childhood sweetheart asap

sjura
18 Oct 2007 07:04

go and visit this website www.paralegaladvice.org.za. u'l find all the information that you need there.Good Luck and sterkte.

sjura
18 Oct 2007 07:06

oops..n go n click to family law and violence against women

Dimago
18 Oct 2007 07:07

Shame T-bose, this is a really sad story. Sorry dear.

Toodecent
18 Oct 2007 07:13

I have never been married but from what i have learnt and heard of marriage is all about compromising. Question is do you or did you love this man..? Kids are kids and the age you referring to its a teen age which means its normal for them to act that way but you as a parent try as hard as you can to show them a way of life and love them like they are your own.
Its true man can be stupuid but to give up what you have made for 4 years..? It cant be that easy.. Try to find a solution of the problem but divorce its not, I wont be happy if I refer you to a lawyer then you increase the divource stats by 2% and probably even more dangerous sittuations that happen in such cases. Those teens I think are now on the process where they have to go to college...atleast 1 and it would be a good idea to let them try to feel what the real world feels like cause now the 20 one is a grown up...

Divorce isnt the solution..!!

sponono
18 Oct 2007 07:22

visit your nearest Legal Wise clinic...or visit a Law clinic at one of the Unviersities like Uj or UKZN for advice the'y refer you to an affordable place..but I think you should not focus on the expenses involved as long as you can get out of an unhappy sitation it doenst matter how much it costs you at least your self will be saved..so if you have to pay more go ahed..becoz my question is if you cant get a cheaper divoce what then
are you gonna stay.....

sponono
18 Oct 2007 07:26

I do agree with you to some extent but TDC what about her wanting children when He doesnt plan to have any...obviously they are in two diffrent spaces

and maybe she's toyed with the idea o stayin becos she already lookin for the lawyer...instead of firguring out the solution..
and she's already rekindled her old flame..so to me thats not a helathy situation coz basically her heart is no longer in it...

KeleFabulous
18 Oct 2007 07:40

actually if the divorce is uncontested u don't need a lawyer. just go to a family court and fill in the forms nje and they (the courts) will take it from there. even if he does contest, u can get assistance from say wits law (if you're in joburg)...it's free

nonzuzo
18 Oct 2007 07:41

I've been married for 3years and i feel for you girl.I know that sometimes it is very difficult to deal with some of the things we face during marriage. I'd suggest that you speak to him and tell him what you plan to do and why you want out.If he really cares and wants you happy.He will try his best to change.If he doesn't then that's your ticket to happiness.At the end of the day,we are not you,we can't tell you what to do.You know yourself best and if you feel this is right for then go for it BUT please try and talk to him first.If you are a christian read Malachi 2:16.It says God hates divorce and Mathew(not sure about the verses) thoroughly talks about when divorce is acceptable,BUT God doesn't want his children to suffer so if your husband does not listen to you, you have my blessing. You can go be with you childhood sweetheart. You decide girl,it's your life after all.He has his kids. Who do you have?

PS: for divorce advice(AFTER YOU HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM AND GOT YOUR ANSWER) you can also go to www.roylaw.co.za

lizzy14
18 Oct 2007 07:53

I think she must 1st ask herself why she got married on the 1st place, call the guy talk to him, if it's still not working out call family meeting both his and your family tell them everything and make a conclusion then...

as for kids, kids are kids and will always be kids vele they'll be jelaz of u and all but wena don't be jelaz of them at least show them that u love & understand them be patient with them and show them u love their father unconditionaly...

i think u only wanting a divorce cos u think u still inlove with your teenage crush but u'll never know the grass is not always as green as u thought

Good luck!

KeleFabulous
18 Oct 2007 08:19

guys bathong! the lady didn't ask for advice on saving her marriage! she asked for advice on how to go about ending it in a cheap way! hi hi hi we don't know what she's done or hasn't done to save it so i know u mean well but just do as she asked thleng!

gaitsedi
18 Oct 2007 08:23

Im sorry about this,sometimes when you have a problem you are not alone,but Divorce is not a solution ,but this week i wasso fedup even b4r I was desperate for it until Tuesday i came with my ows solution n i forget with Dvrce,let m tell you my story IM 28 my spouse is 50 we been mrd for four yrs,i have the same problem you have but myn is worse,he has 2kids boy n girl,his kids 30(b)he slap m for no reason until cops came,my hus beg m to drop the case n i did,that time he was visiting,

HE slap m for slice of pizza that i bought with my money,THE girl is 25 so we left her in the house but at first i found her staying with his dad so i join them ,the house was like a tevern by weekend,so now we live in usa,a girl she still harass me indirect so my husband always protect them ,So i used to tell my husband that im tired with all this so i want divorce bcz i cant be their punching bag ,so most of the time when we fight abt kids so i will respond that i want divorce,i ask him that which solution is the best is divorce or you are going to talk to her,so his scared of her,

So something just came on my mind how to deal with him,so told him i work hard n save so much so that we can have the future,I Iove his kids but if dont i get respect it damage everything, So d GIRL she benefit R3500 from us every mnth,S0 i told him that i decided to take R4000 from people who rent our home in SA so that i can buy toys for my baby ,so what came in my mind i have a baby n i whont let anybody to destroy what i work for,mhat im trying to do is to harm him,to feel the pain i feel,do you want your kid to call somebody DADDY when they have the real one,noooooo,what you can do love them their DAD he is the one who cause all this,what you can do tell him that the 20yr must go n stay with her mom or granny,bcz she is already a woman,but try to protect her,make sure she go to school until she became indipedent.afer train the young one that im your Aunt,n tell your HUS if they want something they must come to you not him bcz you are the lady of the house

communicate with him,love them,show them your a good person,what you can do for your self BATH ,buy a new perfum,take your baby n his 10yr.go shopping,Divorce my dear it can torture your kid for the rest of your life,go to the MALL mybe at decent shop ask somebody how is Divorce is not a good thing.LOOk at mike tyson,michael jackson,DIVORCE is worse than HIV.AsK MANDLA mthembu,DO you still remember Story of WANDIs from Soweto,if his wife was somebody she will think abt DIVo but she didnt bcz she knows what it is

sweetie my baby
18 Oct 2007 08:55

gaitsedi, divorce is NOT worse than HIV, come on now! sometimes a divorce is the best thing to happen to people - i've seen couples who used to have WAR in their home become best friends once they divorce, coz they were just not meant to live in the same house...

this business of sticking in a bad situation, no matter what, is NOT healthy. she seems like she's tried every solution, can we stop lecturing her as though we know what's going on in her life?

gaitsedi
18 Oct 2007 09:22

i think she must do what best for her,most people they have that problem,so you think the guy must kill his kids or what,bcz they always gonna be there,n if she divorce she is going to have Tamati ,mokopu n mint.is not good for kids,if you are selfish you will think abt you not kids,n kids they endup blaming them self,end up using drugs behind your back,bcz they blame themself,OUR pres n JZ they dont get along but bcz of the sake of the party they shakes hands.pls lets try to build

Beyonce
18 Oct 2007 11:22

Im sorry T.

Just sign on the dotted line

Tshd21
18 Oct 2007 11:37

Gaitsedi: Divorce my dear it can torture your kid for the rest of your life,go to the MALL mybe at decent shop ask somebody how is Divorce is not a good thing.LOOk at mike tyson,michael jackson,DIVORCE is worse than HIV.AsK MANDLA mthembu,DO you still remember Story of WANDIs from Soweto,if his wife was somebody she will think abt DIVo but she didnt bcz she knows what it is...

I have never been married nor in T-Bose's situation but I think u r exagerating Gaitsedi, yho? Besides, T has already made up her mind and she wants a divorce. Phela if you are not T-Bose, you have no idea what she is/has been going through... Only she does, and she is doing what is best for heart... So really, just give advice ya the main reason for this blog: The cheapest way to get divorced!!

Brown Shuga
18 Oct 2007 12:00

One more reason why nkase nyalwe at all...

sweetie my baby
18 Oct 2007 12:07

haai, shugs, you're just a romantic at heart, you know if the right guy came along, i can just see you skipping down the aisle...

gaitsedi - no one said he must abandon or neglect his kids - but if he's abandoning her, and won't even talk about the kids she wants to have - really, it's abuse, this guy doesn't seem to give a damn, and from what she's said to us, a divorce seems to be the solution - to her well being, sanity and general progress in life....

Cande
18 Oct 2007 13:49

hayke!

immaculate
18 Oct 2007 14:59

T-Bose drop me a mail...i think i'll be able to help u sista, at no cost. Painless divorce and u keep your money and get some of his and run off to some secluded island with your childhood sweetheart...

T-BOSE
19 Oct 2007 00:52

T-Bose

I have tried everything in my power 2 make everything ok in my marriage and it seemed I was the only one who cared. The 20yr old is already working with his dad of course and both of them are spoilt brats. I loved them enough to marry their father against my principles. Both their mothers are alive and well. It is difficult for me to discipline them coz they tell me to find my own kids, coz I am not their mother. The hubby also told me the other day that his kids are 'off-limits'. So I moved out 2 months ago and he did not stop me or try to beg me. Anyway we have not been talking for months since June this year. As for our parents they don't know each other. So my marriage is different from any other marriage. I have decided to leave everything that we share for him, coz he lost everything in his first marriage. I don't earn much in my job that is why I need a cheapest way to get divorced, coz I will be starting all over again. Now I stay with my sister and I have nothing in my name. I loved him, but not in-love with him. Reason for marrying him was to have kids who had both their parents and @ the begining he was prepared to have kids with me, but under one condition which was to have a custody for both of his kids. So in the end he had them and after my miscarriage he told that I had a chance of having a baby and that chance has passed by coz I could not keep the baby 4 the whole 9 months. So you see my dillema and the other weekend I went home in Eastern Cape 4 my grandfather's funeral and I asked my sister to go there by my house to fetch my mail since she wasn't going with me. And she called me and told me that after just 2 weeks of leaving the house there was another woman in there sleepin in my bed of which I bought 4 us. So I don't want people 2 tell me that getting divorced is not an answer, coz 4 the past 3yrs I have been thinking about it.

Babyface
19 Oct 2007 04:05

Mina I'm confused @ Gaitsedi You are 28 and the boy is 30 but you call him a kid rn't u afraid he will bleksem you again.

By the way labobaba sebekhulile, so understandani ukuthi they can't keep on with you guys, Miss Mbau U re next!!!

nonzuzo
19 Oct 2007 04:31

T-bose from what you related. I say go for it then. The ticket to happiness is right there in your hand.The bastard doesn't care anyway so why should you think twice about doing it. I think @kele mentioned something about going straight to court or something.I think you can try.
PLEASE HURRY BEFORE SOMEONE TAKES YOUR HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART AWAY.you know some girls of today are just fun spoilers.

Good luck girl.You definitely are in my prayers. All i can say to your soon to be ex-husband is "KARMA,BITCH,KAAAARMA"

KeleFabulous
19 Oct 2007 04:45

T-bose if u were married in community of property then u shud be entitled to something! you can't come out of a marriage with nothing in ur name! even fridgenyana or microwavenyana...regardless of who contributed what or how much! it's years you gave up for this person and u shud be entitled to something. yes,you will have to start somewhere with what little u have but any judge will rule that u r entitled to at least 50%...how u go about sorting/dividing assets is up to you but girl pls don't come out of this with nothing!

Ngqesta
16 Apr 2008 08:29

@KeleFab......T-bose if u were married in community of property then u shud be entitled to something! you can't come out of a marriage with nothing in ur name! even fridgenyana or microwavenyana

hayi uyandibulala sisi!!!!

T-BOSE
17 Apr 2008 05:58

T-BOSE
17 Apr 2008 05:59

Madamzee
17 Apr 2008 06:41

T-bose. yah neh, i just saw some light, form ur situation. kids have a way of getting between parents, more especially if they are not their real parents. my boo's daughter is just giving me headache, more the reason why i should stop the lobola next month. she is 8 and she cries all the time, she knows that daddy loves her and doesnt want to get hurt, i think its the mother. The daddy stays with me, he goes in the afternoon to check on her before the mother comes home. she wanted to come with his dad to my house, i agreed, and then mohlolo wa ngwana o, she was crying (hysterically!!) and telling daddy that she WANTS dad to come home and sleep with the mother or else fetch her mother so that they can sleep in the same room, what the hell does she know about sleeping with mama? daddy wanted to give in, i told him you go there then it is Ova!!!! Kids are just kak maan! Jerrrrrrr!

i think the mothers of those children are feeding them kak! and the 30yr old, i think he is just doing that because he is older than you and he thinks you are Khanyi Mbau, after the daddies money, and the man he is just a male "bitch" how can he say that after your miscarriage! sis! he is old, abusive, controlling, doesnt have a back bone. cant say no to his children. staying there is just a recipe for disaster!!!!!!!

Divorce maan!! althought it wont be easy, but it will be worth it. i think you and your childhood sweetheart will see eye to eye and have respect for each other as you will be in the same age group!!! NXXXXXXXX! Nonsense!

asiax
03 Mar 2009 16:12

T-BOSE time waits for no man, leave that Ass hole, How ruthless can anyone be, am beggining to dought wether he loved you in the first place.He wouldn't be so heartless if he did. Mshiye, uzokcinga.MADAMZEE hay dear this one was instructed by mommy dearest.As if she's used to her parents sleeping together. its real Kak.

she was crying (hysterically!!) and telling daddy that she WANTS dad to come home and sleep with the mother or else fetch her mother so that they can sleep in the same room, what the hell does she know about sleeping with mama? daddy wanted to give in, i told him you go there then it is Ova!!!! Kids are just kak maan! Jerrrrrrr!

ms.tebby
03 Mar 2009 16:23

Reply from: Brown Shuga 10/18/2007 6:00:45 PM

One more reason why nkase nyalwe at all... >>> I bet today you are telling a different story

wena asiax where do you get this article from?...2 years old sana

Brown Shuga
03 Mar 2009 20:39

Kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa

What's up with people and archives anyway??? hihihihihihihi Ms. Tebby shame....uyaphapha...

mjj
03 Mar 2009 20:44

uyaphapha nyani u ms T.....lol

ms.tebby
06 Mar 2009 12:11

LOL.....sounds like mjj is the guilty one here!

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