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Loving someone u cant have

Written by Cute babes from the blog Loving someone you can't have! on 25 Oct 2007
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This is what all the ladies can relate to, not sure about guys. Have you ever loved someone you just know it is not good for you to love them. Like someone who doesnt love you in return, someone who don't appreciate you or someone who hurts you so much.

Well I have and I was hoping some of you who have experienced the same problem can just share. I fell in love with this guy and have you ever felt like someone is doing you a favour? I never used to see him as I wanted (would mostly see him on weekends for a couple of hours). Sometimes he could be all cuddly and loving and sometimes well thecomplete opposite...giving you the feeling "oh my word, what on earth am I doing here". Well I tried to get over him and could do that after a year (or atleast I told my self I was over him). But now my problem is, everytime I see him I get a rush or wish he could just come and talk to me. We never really broke up, I just distanced myself from him. Could it be that I need closure or what?

Come'on, anyone who has had a similar experience or something to share!

79 Comments

Cute babes
25 Oct 2007 08:46

Thanks to Toxic, I was sweating trying to create this article. Thanks for your help. Now come people, lets do what we always do best...BLOG!!!!!!!!!

Toxic
25 Oct 2007 08:59

*screeches to a halt*!!!!!!!! Just saw my name and wondered what that was about.....glad you finally figured out how to create yr article but a public announcement is so NOT necessary.

good evening!

awelani
25 Oct 2007 09:06

Hooray,,,,,,,I'm 1st (jumping up&down)

I have never been in that situation but i think u r beta off without him, u'll fynd some1 who will love and appreciate u dearietjie, okay. There's a movie 2nyt @20:00 on Etv, watch it then maybe you will do what's best for you. The movie is called ENOUGH, so maybe nawe u have had enaf. Good luck and hope u make the ryt decision.

Sam2say
25 Oct 2007 09:19

Cutebabe, make your article more interesting by giving different senarios or something like that, its a nice one but.............

Lady D
25 Oct 2007 09:34

There is nothing painfull like loving someone who does not love you back.It has never happened to me but i can imagine just imagine...

sponono
25 Oct 2007 10:33

yoh haayi mantombazane yo issues this season LOL

Tshd21
25 Oct 2007 10:57

Hi-hi-hi Spopo sympathize bathong...Ha-ha-ha

Nna I have been in that situation, but I do not want to talk about it! Hi-hi

Brown Shuga
25 Oct 2007 11:53

LOL Toxic bathong!!! Sam2say bathong!! Why nenz' omnye umtana so? Heh!
Ungaworry wena Cutebabes, they are in that situation currently, you know mos, the truth is painful, that's why they don't wanna talk about it...hi hihihi

I have been in a similar situation but today I look back and wonder what was wrong with me coz the brother really isn't gorgeous.

Segololo
25 Oct 2007 12:04

Why are u wishing some ladies would have the same experience you had? ha ha ha

I had a similar experience and only after Dimago gave me the book "the men who hate women and the women who love them" I was able to break off that relationship.

Ha a ha ha ha ha Toxy!!

gaitsedi
25 Oct 2007 19:42

hai a mathata nje,I was in love with someone who endup giving me STD he never loved me even a single day but i was not aware of it,anyway is part of life the onlything that I told my self im strong person and im going foward with life,

Today im someone i walk tall with pride,in life when you hurt people you will endup in wrong hands and they will deal with you,there is always payback time,

Mambox
25 Oct 2007 23:34

I was in Matric he had just appeared from no where to my neighborhood. I met him on the road coming from the shops. He was on his way home from a soccer game he was all dusty (you know soccer fields from elokshini) we had a moment when we walked past each other and he was the most gorgeous think within those dusty clothes …

My matric dance came and I was searching for a partner…he over heard when I was telling someone and he offered to come with…then I found out he was a doctor and he had just finished his studies at UCT that’s y I never saw him before…we went to the matric dance and I had never felt that good about myself…me with a doctor YHO!! I really fell for him I loved everything about him I could even recognize the sound of his car when he drove pass…

a couple of months later he had a graduation party and all his doctor friends were there…I was just standing there minding my own business when he came with one of his friends and said to him “ you can have her vele she likes doctors” I mean WTF? That really shattered me…I feel better knowing I never gave him what he really wanted from me cause maybe I would have just rolled over and died at that moment….NX!

Zee Babes!
25 Oct 2007 23:43

Cute Babes doll, dont stress abt it. Have been in that situation and the worse part of it is that the guy was taken, years l8er he dumped his galfrend and then cum back for me....ay`khona I refused to be the second best! I dont understand ubomi, ke phofu ndigubani mna.

Annonymous
25 Oct 2007 23:44

YOHHHHHHHHHH, Bathong, cheer up it's Friday, u know I saw this blog on my way home yesterday & somehow just sensed that it's gonna be one of those sis'Dolly (I mean the one from Drum mag, not our TVSA one) blogs.

Mambox
25 Oct 2007 23:50

@Annonymous eish sorry i was just in the mood to write... i'll cheer myself up now it's Friday YAY!!! let me go and make myself some coffee, k bye!

J-Girl
26 Oct 2007 00:07

thank God its Friday...Friday night....friday night...its a party...thank God its Friday...mhhhh, nothing can kill ma mood today DJ Sbuda is in town, I am sooooo there...come on CT ise Lipz into ke namhlanje and then Marvericks party tomorrow. Dont bite ma head off - I knw this is off the topic but I just thot like ANON said...Cheer up folks its friday

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 00:30

We should exchange... nna I find myself in times Loving Someone I dont wanna have although they really wanna be with me. It sucks...for a moment I was thinking "boy are you becoming a devoo?" But hell no it just cant happen and that lead into breaking earts cause I had to take a break.

Latifah
26 Oct 2007 00:32

U r right J-Girl some cheery will be good but don't over do it. With u Cute Babes I am sorry man you had to go through this phase, just chill I know that it will take you a while but he is not worth it just show him that you can go on without him and your life does not revolve around him or does it? Anonny bantu myeke abhodle you it help mos to talk about something that is bothering you or hurting you, she needs our support and advices although CB has choosen the wrong day but some words of motivation and encouragement won't hurt Mfana??/

pullie
26 Oct 2007 00:42

*boys will always b boys* gone r the days wen luv was the real thing, cuming from deep within! mna guys i've been thru the worst, i dnt even wanna share coz its gonna depress u nd phela its a Friday 2day will b grooving with Dj Fresh 2nite in Gaborone!!

Happy Friday amabloggers....!

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 00:45

Talking about Parties... The TUT Top Stereo Mini Skirt BAsh is back by popular demand. Its happening Saterday Pretoria Show grounds.. Magents etlang le tlhatswe mathlo after the Soweto Beach festival hi hi hi. Bikini Car wash girls will be galore you park they wash...you dance till you drop!

Zee Babes!
26 Oct 2007 01:08

sho ntombazane

edgards
26 Oct 2007 01:20

Cutebabe, Do you mean that person you deleted their numbers but somehow you manage to get their contact again,that person you sometimes wish you never new them at all,that person who makes you pump Tamia 's if i were you in your mind.That person who gives you butterflies in your stomach like Michael Jackson,They are like coke,you addicted,you know that they are bad to your health and wellbeing but you keep on going for more."I'm doing just fine" you sing Everything is better when they are not around,you may even assume that you got over them untill you bumb into them and hell break loose.if even if you get a person who loves and treat lilke a king or Queen nothin changes and you find it easy to Sing your poor current boy or girlfriend Kelly Rowland i 'm still in love with my ex.?????????? .... Jonathan Buttler 's what would you do for love, ERNIE SMITH 'S love dont hurt me again and ELLE 's nobody but you are not helping things either. Neither is PRESTON 's No more.

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 01:25

edgards forget the R&B ish there is a chick on your right 22 looking for a man..dont sayI aint looking out for you. Eish mara ask yourself 1 thing...why atlile ko dikomputareng banna batletse ko tseleng? Gongwe ba mo mo tshabile..

spice
26 Oct 2007 01:39

Edgars my dear you are in a n Rnb mood today neeh ........hi hi hi and me is luuving your selection and you forgot Still by Bryan Macknight bouy can I relate

Miss K
26 Oct 2007 01:52

Strangely enough I'm going thru this ish this week, feeling all depressed etc,etc. A friend i met thru TVSA sent me an email with this line 'Let no man have dominion over you but God' I'm not saying i'm ok but Cutebabes i know exactly what ure feeling and u know what its gonna pass and i know he's not worth it. No1 deserves to be in a loveless relationship and the truth is a man will not tell u when they don't want u anymore u just need to get the msg and tell yourself u deserve better and move on. I don't know how i'm gonna do it but hell i don't deserve this!

Ok let me stop before i start crying again. Its Friday and payday so i'll just drown my sorrows!

Porche
26 Oct 2007 01:56

You call him with a private number just to hear his voice when he answers you drop it because you do not want him to know it was you. You do have a life & have fun but when you see him you are back to square one of being hurt, I do not know whether my case is different because he is very sweet and we share so much and when we realize that we were in love we decided not go through with it, because of what he was going through. I try so much to avoid him but since I have been there for him through his problems, he has decided to make me his younger sister, he does the sweetest things when I am avoiding him sometimes we end up crying about the situation we are in but the bottom line is that I cannot have him. Sorry for being long Happy Friday bloggers...

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 02:09

Edgars, kodwa intoni loyenza kimi, Elle - nobody but you, phela leloculo lingithinta emanonini mmmmmmmhhhhhh!!!!

edgards
26 Oct 2007 02:09

Spice i feel you girl,how could i forget Still by Bryan Macknight
Toodecent it was the Eddie Zondi in me that was talking right there,not me,when a certain radio station that is hosting a Miniskirt bash started i used to be stand in DJ ka di holidays ,just loved playin music with themes likes the latter.Maybe le wena TDC I should play love Goddess and hook you up le Lumka aka Thembi from Rhythm city.LOL.AISH mfana, i'M not that desparate

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 02:11

My family
Sorry for being a (goodmood for weekend pooper) maar i need some advice toe:
Kinda sad today coz of arguments with Mr., coz of a third party... you know what they say mos (three is a crowd). Donno if they are just friends as he says( they know each other since way back bfore i was in da picture) somehow she's always a shoulder for him to cry on wheneva we have a conflict. He keeps saying that there aint nothing going on btween them that they're just friends... this gal knows that i'm his woman weve met before... but my female intuition is telling me that something is going on here... guys am i just being jealous here. Should i trust that she's just a "best friend"? eish angazi what to do... Excuse me while i go puff on some Dunhill outside(just to calm my angrynessss)... be back now now

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 02:15

Porche, u and ur brotherly friend need to hook-up, judging from what u are saying it's like u guys are made for each other, but are too afraid to tackle the obstacles that are presenting themselves in front of ur'll. Sori bloggers, I know I was the first to point out that it's Friday & we shud cheer up, but somehow people are glued to this blog and I can't help but read them sad love stories and be touched. Shame, what can I do I'm a caring blogger friend to all.

tshepiso
26 Oct 2007 02:18

whooo Gaitsedi, o itlhokomele STD ea bolaya.

Cute babes my dear, I am in that situation right now it seems you read what is eating me up. u know, I am so deeply in luv with this little guy. he feel the same, but our probelm is the age gap is too big. even my body does not suit him. he is very skraal and i am just find according to my age.

so, i am so afraid of that skandal which will be there. but he insists that we should do it. I am also afraid of what will my friends say, my mom, my sisters as well as his family. eishh but deep down I am dying every time i met him.

iyoooooooo Bloggers go botlhoko, botlhoko.

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 02:21

Hmm Pooky thats another story well it can be possible that they are helping each other to themselves and still it cannot. I have a friend a good friend whom I actually met through TVSA and the same thing you feeling now her MAN was in the same situation but the lucky bustard( am saying lucky bustard cause he is damn lucky to have such a woman) had no clue that am actually one of the reasons his ass was still in her life. I mean we talk about everything and I mean anything which it doesnt even cross my mind about shagging or having whatever cause she is good as a friend she is and I appreciate that. So you may be in the same ish...!

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 02:21

By the way Pooky, u know that Dunhill is my brand mos, so puff one or two pulls there for me K? My advise to u is simple: "Assumption is the mother is ALL f#$k ups" Don't let the jealous side of u get the better of u, coz u cud be wrong, yet again do not be too blinded by the deceiving term called "best-friend" Eish Pooky, nami I need to be excused now, sengivele ngaqaleka nami *mmmhh shaking ma head!*

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 02:26

From your story tshepiso I have a lil advice for you.." never ever have the thing of what will people say? Do what you wanna do whenever you wanna do it the real hapinness comes from within and it should e what you want" What comes on thee way if its good just get i there and do it.. Life is too Short!

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 02:28

Tshepiso life is too short to live in worry of what will other people say. Do what makes u happy, becoz at the end of the day u are pleasing everyone, but urself and that us just wrong. As long as the little boy is not underage then i don't see a reason why u need to torture urselves like this. The other thing is, when u guys hook up (hopefull u will gather the guts to do that *I'm actually crossing my fingers & toes for u*) people will talk at first, then eventually they will get used the idea of u guys being together.

Babyface
26 Oct 2007 02:35

BS >> <<I have been in a similar situation but today I look back and wonder what was wrong with me coz the brother really isn't gorgeous.>>

ZOLA SEVEN! OOOPS I MEAN WOLA 7!

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 02:36

Penny LOL ......Annonymous... great minds think alike neh? Same advice different words!

KeleFabulous
26 Oct 2007 02:44

i'm in this position right now! this dude who has ANCIH - absolutely no chance in hell is constantly on my case! i'm trying very hard to not just tell him off but really uya dika naye cos he just won't get the message! nx!!!

tshepiso
26 Oct 2007 02:45

Thank u all for that great advice
I will work on it although it will be difficult, we are nextdoors. my flat and his parents

Cute babes
26 Oct 2007 02:56

U feel me edgars...u've got it men!

@Tshepi I also think u should go with what your gut tells u, if u worried what adas might say just know that they get over it eventually when time goes by!

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 02:57

TDC, uyathanda ukunginaka hey????? but ke u are right..................(I mean about the great minds think alike part ONLY.

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 02:59

Pooky, where are u, don't tell me u are still applying for cancer??? Come and say thank u for the advice, like sweet Tshepiso!!!

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 03:19

TDC & Annony, thanks ne guys. strue gal"assumptions is the mother of all f*#* ups" nyani, i always believe that the truth always has a way of coming out when you least expect it to and when you think you're most careful, lets just hope thy're really are just friends... maar eish kodwa... oh and Annony dont worry sana i puffed an extra one or two for you too coz bendiyazi ukuba you gonna advise your sista in puffneess.

Ammy1GP
26 Oct 2007 03:26

@ Tshepiso > don't worry dear , u are not the first 1 to be a sugar mama.... if you dig your baby ngane as my friend say it to her little one ( boyfriend), it's doesnt matter what ppl say !!!!!

I was still a varsity student back in the days when we were on our 3rd year with ma chommies, and a very cute young nunu approached one my friends, he was '86 and i fresher - 1st year and we are 83's so you can imagine the gossip @ the campus, but through it all they made it out > even today they are still an item.

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 03:29

Annony, Spice, fellow bloggers maar bathong, where is our brother Sponono? i hope his still in one piece after icomment yayizolo.

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 03:30

Uyabona manje names its what I hate... some gal used to call her boy Glugglug just because he is 20 she is 24 mara when they are alone its a lion and Impala. Why names.. retla le tlogela la sala ka bale ma main switch o weleng!

Weiss
26 Oct 2007 03:32

You call him with a private number just to hear his voice when he answers you drop it because you do not want him to know it was you. Ha! Ha! Ha! I can imagine the poor guy trying to figure out - his mind raising, thinking about the possible caller! Hai Porsche! You'd better say something next time or get a life.

I must say I've been in the situation - a long time ago. The best thing to do is find someone else fast, and go out a lot (clubbing & eating out) & exercise a lot. By the time you get home - you too tired to think about your painfull crush that you cannot have. I really helps, next time you see that person you'll be thinking "Oh my gosh! what was I thinking?" Because you would have seen a lot and done a lot, he/she will be looking so dull & boring - you'd rather have them as brother or sister.

Spy
26 Oct 2007 03:45

People, being inlove with someone who doesnt love you back is probably the most hurtful thing in the whole world. I dont have a cure - i hope someone out there does. But i have learned that people are in your life for a reason and they move on from your life because their journey with you has ended. They are there to teach you something and you are meant to take that and use it in the future.

But while you are in the midst of things you dont realise that and all you feel is pain. Cutebabes i know what you are feeling - been there, done that, got the tshirt and his underware! Looking back now, i am grateful i had that experience. It taught me to never settle for less, it taught me to speak up and stand up for myself - NO ONE WILL IF YOU DONT. Stand by what you believe in and fight for your happiness. Truth of the matter is LIFE IS TOO DAMN SHORT to wallow!!!!!!! At the end of the day you dont need this kind of drama YOU CAN DO BAD ALL BY YOURSELF YOU DONT NEED HELPING HAND!!!!!!!!!!

andi01
26 Oct 2007 04:09

@ thsephiso- u should never be discouraged but what people may think, coz they dont "think" more often, its ur life girl live it the way u wanna. But again dating "itakalani" its not healthy, trust me on this. But if u ready, willing and powerfull for the suprises he will bring you. These little "man", know how to rock aperson. they make u go ding-dong, drain all ur strength and leave u for some1 their age.

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 04:17

Hey there Andi01, ur GB seems to be too far away nowadays, so I'm gonna invade cute babes blog & tell u that u are have been missed *wink wink*

andi01
26 Oct 2007 04:34

@ Annon whats a GB, but ke I missed u too guys, i was around but had no time to post replies even though i read urs, but I am here now.

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 04:37

aaaaah Tshepiso galfriend uthi ufuna ukubetha kwalapha e-nextdoor. he he he galfland i say go and persui the brother before your other neighbours grab him first and please dont eva worry your cute self about what them adda people may think, just do what makes you happy gal. It dont matter nokuba he is younger than you, just go with what you know will make your yearning heart happy.

andi01
26 Oct 2007 04:47

Next door relationship its als noooo good, what if he brakes up with u and u see "all the preety" girls that he brings home, wouldnt that hurt.ouch

andi01
26 Oct 2007 04:49

I can imgaine "takalani's parents" when they found out Thseppy. (in chico twala's voice), aphela amantshontsho omziwam, kanti huwe makhelwana. *singing*

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 04:50

Pooky, becoz u have a nice name & u are relatively new, we will forgive u this once for the double replies *just this once sisi*

Yuri
26 Oct 2007 05:31

Yuri
26 Oct 2007 05:44

Hi all!
I’m sorry about the blank reply, I’m a newbie in this hood. Great topic and I can relate. Once (a very long time ago) I fell in love with a guy who was still in love with his ex. I thought we had a chance even when people told me he only had space for 1 girl in his heart because when I asked him about it he had denied that he was still holding a torch for her. But months later when she decided she wanted him back, he dumped me like a hot potato. I felt like such an ass, always seeing them around holding hands and smooching. That was biggest humiliation of my life. I got over it though after realizing that I would probably meet someone else better and I did.

THE END

tshepiso
26 Oct 2007 06:02

iesh mara bo takalane they are very cute, even they main switch never go down. understand nna ke mo rata huuuuuuuuuure.AND since u guy give me good advices I AM GOING FOR IT NO MATTER WHAT.

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 06:23

That's the spirit Tshepiso..........yipeee!!!

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 06:26

Welcome Yuri.

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 06:26

ooooooh Annony khawundi xolele mfazi, bengisaphetwe zi shakes for lamncimbi wethu*wink* but i'm fine now.

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 06:33

Go for it today ke Tshepi coz we all gonna wanna know on Monday what his response was, we're all wrooting for you gal... come on everyone together now and with fists in the air...Tshepi Tshepi Tshepi Tshepi...

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 06:39

Pooky uyahlanya kakhulu, hhayi kancane mnganwami................hihihi

Lady D
26 Oct 2007 06:41

Guys HAPPY FRIDAY!!!Just love the one you are with!!!!!

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 06:43

Hawu Lady D, point taken, loud & clear sisi!!!!!!!

Lady D
26 Oct 2007 06:44

Guys sorry about the duplication,it didn't mean to make it look like bigbrother website,dunno why i sleep on the send button!!Hadi baf'uto

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 07:10

Annony what can i say chomza, i'm loving it too much here that i cant help but lose it sometimes ...hi hi hi

Cute babes
26 Oct 2007 07:13

Welcome Yuri, sad story...I guess we learn from these things neh?

Toodecent
26 Oct 2007 07:16

O tlhapetswe ka pela soo ngwanyana wa ko Letlhabile...?

lolla
26 Oct 2007 07:46

Im in love with Sizwe Dhlomo and he doesnt know i exist! Does that count? Wassup ya'll its been a while.

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 07:53

Hey lolla, where have u been????

Weiss
26 Oct 2007 07:56

Im in love with Sizwe Dhlomo and he doesnt know i exist! Ha! Ha! LOL! ooh shame! girl. Tip: Take a nap - you'll feel better the next morning!

KeleFabulous
26 Oct 2007 07:58

hehehe o rulile bo bosilong. hi hi hi

Xhosa Chick
26 Oct 2007 07:59

Lolla: Eish, why do u wanna pick a fight now?

Xhosa Chick
26 Oct 2007 08:00

LMAO @ Weiss' " Take a nap - you'll feel better the next morning!"

Porche
26 Oct 2007 08:13

Weiss those moments happens when I am sooo drunk and my broer does not drink if I were to say something again ( it happened once and I was so embarassed because he drove all the way to my place thought the was something wrong with me) I'll bury myself alive. Nonny I wish we could but circumstances does not allow us I know what he's been through...only when I've had a couple of Jack D's my love for him luvele lushise.

Pooky
26 Oct 2007 08:22

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Come back in one piece on Monday. Love you!!! Bhayi Bhayini(waving my hand)

Annonymous
26 Oct 2007 08:27

Bhabhayi Pooky, my friend I forgot to say HAPYYYYYYYYYYY (but not Happy New Year's, I mean just happy Friday!)