Rules of engagement

Written by Nanana from the blog What is going on on 05 Dec 2007
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I am writing the rules of engagement in banks,to those who seem not to be aware that in banks there is an unspoken code which should be adhered to at all times:

1. Security guards = I know that cellphones must be off,so dont' treat the clients as if just the presence of a cell triggers an invisible bomb,be niceand stop being so loud when doing so.

2.The toilet system is for employees,as you say,but dont' offer a desperate client the toilet and when her sanity is back after that emergency,you tell her its "R2 SISI,YOU KNOW I WAS DOING YOU A FAVOUR MOS"

3.Tellers,stop flashing those cleavages,there is a dress code,it won't make sense to me why I should take you to seriously do my transaction with your constant need to adjust your straps.

3. Floor fans are a no no,most people don't take a shower on a Saturday morning to go to a bank,they expect to hop in and out so the fans help to distribute the smell even further.

4.High heels are not to be worn when coming to a bank on month end,unless you really dont mind the cones (ikons) and the never ending lines.

5. The bank management knows there is an influx of people on a daily basis,so I dont wanna come in and find only one teller working and there is 100 people on the queue.

6. 8 and half months pregnant people should not be operating at the teller booths ,take them to reception or something,because when her moods meet my moods,I swear,I wont be held responsible..

7. You,the teller,work with this paperwork everyday so stop scratching and scratching then you say"ooh bathong,i made a mistake please sign for me next to where i scratched,i mean WTF.

8To the person behind me, i dont want to hear your tall tales of how the world should be,i am in a bank for goodness sake,my world right now is beginning and ending in this bank.

9.To the teenager in front of me,you have been standing all along only when the teller says next,3 people suddenly push infront of me and with your weary fake smile go "ke rakgadi waka bathong,utlile otlo rekela bana diaparo tsa Christmas" thats too much info,if looks could kill,you will be dead my sista.

10. Tellers,the fact that you sell tupperware is irrelevant right now,gimme my money,gosta go NOW.

11. Teller,I know the rand to the dollar and the pound,and stop taking out the monster machine to count my money,I will skin you alive if some tsoti follows me home,because you felt the need to count my money in front of an eager and calculating audience.

12.Teller,I know you went to school with my sister's friend's cousin'aunt'nephew so stop the chitter chatter and get on with it,will you,I have a plane to catch .

I could go on and on but its in my best interest now to first do the yoga pose before I go make this deposit,otherwise I swear I will............

7 Comments

zandi!
05 Dec 2007 19:33

ha ha ha im the first shi** im nt sleeping ok ill be back now now nyt ridder !!!!!!!!

sponono
06 Dec 2007 01:34

this is too funny...hi hi hi
i agree very strongly with with number 5, 10, 11and 6...especially number 11, I've seen the teller count money like that and I've been tempted to "befriend that customer after I've seen loads of cash being counted for them" and i guess their excuse is that its for you to see how much they give you..but dang bakufakela i-spili labantu...

as for the floor fans, i thought most banks use air-conditioners unles we're talikng about Ithala Bank...LOL

here's my worse case bank-scenario...you join a very long que for more than thirty minutes..and when you finaly here "next" and she helps you she says " you'll have to go to you main branch where you opened your account"...try asking for the manager or throwing tantrums, it might work...but if its not your thing, you'll have to go home....

thats why i always look for these floor-assistants first (which some banks havent got)

belz
06 Dec 2007 01:47

LOL Nanana, hahahaha, im sorry nyhani nge experiences zakho. as Sponono said, the floor assistants are really helpful, my bank has them. But i cant remember when last i was at a bank, the joys of internet banking.

LM
06 Dec 2007 02:37

I hate banks with passion....only go there when it is time to collect new cards (will have to find a way to get those cards to come to me, I wish). Everything I do is through internet banking.....instead of walking to a branch.I just send them a secured e-mail..then I'm sorted.....as for depositing money into my account....ATM is the king.

I hate it when the teller tries to be over-friendly....you withdraw a large sum of money and she/he makes small talks..trying to find out what that money is for....this indian chap even tried to discourage me to buy a car I had set my eyes on.....this is after he unsuccessfully tried to force me to go to an ATM so that I can withdraw a cheque from there..instead of him giving me cash or bank guaranteed cheque...hell no...I was already at the counter so why should I go to an atm to fiddle with something I hv never done before (withdrawing a cheque there).

Tshd21
06 Dec 2007 06:23

LMAO Nanana...be back with a reply now now

Renegade
06 Dec 2007 06:43

Great piece Nanana.

I dotn know if its jst me, but i really find that bank tellers think they have the most high profile jobs in the world...bt dats another story for another day.
I must say, i've never experinced no3, and hope never to have to .
By the way, y rnt cellphones allowed in banks, they think we communicating abt the situations to robbers?

@belz, true dat, internet banking is the way. But there are times when u have to go there. Like when i had to change my account from student to cheque, tsho, i've never been given the run around kanje, and i got the Sponono response, after a long queue, "go to your branch" which is all the way in soweto. And so one saturday, i wake up early, coz i know how the banks can get, get to soweto,and guess wat, the bank is offline! Eish, let me not relive that experience,it was far to traumatic!

lorrelai
07 Dec 2007 11:26

I dotn know if its jst me, but i really find that bank tellers think they have the most high profile jobs in the world...: I thought it was just me....

One of my worst experiences at the bank was when I went there to withdraw some cash (It was on a month - end). My card was retained by the ATM. It was after hours so I had to wait for the following day to go inside for a new card. You know those signages they have in the bank, I followed the one that was written "NEW CARDS" cos there were no floor assistants. After queuing for about 45 mins, this teller comes to our queue to ask what we queuing for, so we all give our answers, and my turn comes, she tells me I must start a new queue cos "You’re actually on the wrong line". I was polite enough to ask what the signage meant cos obviously I had misunderstood their English. To this day I've never been able to understand what she was trying to explain, her horrible attitude though was the highlight of the whole thing. When I did finally get to the counter, I was welcomed with the wonderful news that FNB had decided to close my account cos I hadn't used it for 2 months, so my salary had bounced back into my company's account, and because it was Saturday, I had to wait for Monday to tell my boss and open a new account. Cut the long story short, I got my salary after about six days. I WAS MIFFED!! I HATE BANKS, along with some of their snotty tellers……….

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