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How to attract true love

Written by Baby-A from the blog Love Issues on 17 Jan 2008
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Longing for "The One" - 3 Golden Rules

In life, you have travelled a long hard path. Living here, is like living in a psychic battle field. Your Journey here has been one of seeking your identity, your place in life, and the search to find someone who would really love and accept you, just as you are. This deep longing for love, and to be loved, is as ancient as the land around you. No Soul seeks to live life alone, unless they are dealing with great emtotional pain. To seek love, is as natural as eating, or sleeping. To desire ones perfect mate, is the dream of all.

When you entered into this life, you came with an open heart. The Child always loves, and you were the loving child, when you were small. This ability to love, is part of your nature, and part of your identity. In the family home, many traumas can occur that change the child's view of being open and loving. The view of the self is altered, damaged, and scared by the views of those around you. Even your own view of love changes, to be fearful, painful, and tragically, when you searched for love as an adult, you took these old damaged views of love with you.

Because of the damage from childhood, you may have attracted wrong people to you in your early adult years. You might have even married someone who was very much like one or both of your parents. You might have been beat up in your adult relationships, yet you continued, never leaving your dream of finding true love far behind.

As you got older, you also became more careful and wise. Eventually, you came to the realization that love really did equal pain, and entrenched the old childhood fears even deeper. At this point some of you stayed the same, and some moved ahead, seeking more answers to the dilemma of love. Those that moved ahead might have started to read self help books, learned meditation, or got involved with counseling. You knew that you were attracting wrong partners, because there was something inside, like a bad relationship magnet, that kept causing you to attract wrong people.

Your true love journey continued.

The ancient art of finding and attracting true love, was always within you. Deep in your heart, in your child's heart, was the huge ability to give and to receive love. It was a little heart, and like a small tin cup, the heart within had a few dings in it. But, it was still there. It is still there now. In learning to know and love yourself again, you have within you some special truths about love. The first thing that you might have rediscovered about love, and about yourself, is that you really are afraid of the very thing that you would give almost anything to find. Love is scary. The second thing that you have within you, is that you still have the ability to love someone else, uncondtionally, just as you did when you were very small.

Question. How can you attract love, when you are afraid of it?

In learning to love yourself more, you can also re-learn also how to love and accept others at a deep level. In the ancient art of finding love, you must learn to love yourself. Then, and only then, can you once again love others with an open heart.

In your life, if you give anger, fear, or bitterness, you will attract the same, ten fold. If you give love, caring, and acceptance to others, it will also return to you, ten fold. Like attracts like. You can attract love, when you become more familiar with your own love of yourself. When you like who you are, you are more willing to share that, and to be open with others. The path of self love involves good care to your body, emotions, and mind. It means creating a living space that is calm, clean, and positive. It means finding friends, who support you and your dreams. Self love means having fun, learning to like your appearance, and healthy choices in your diet. Loving another, does rest on how you treat and care for yourself. You don't have to be perfect. You are good enough, just as you are.

To give what my partner needs, The 3 Golden Keys.

The 1st. Golden Key to relationships: "I am willing to give my partner what they need, not what I need to give them." If your love partner likes blue, do not buy them a shirt that is yellow, because you like yellow. Take their true desires into consideration, and give them what they need.

The 2nd. Golden Key to relationships: "I put my partner first, above all else." If you are busy with work and leave your love partner to 'die on the vine', then they loose, and you will eventually be seeking someone else. Abandonment is abandonment, regardless of the age of the person. Most people already have abandonment issues that they deal with.
When you also abandon your mate, you create deep pain for them. Like the sun, nurture your partner, and shine your love upon them.

The 3rd. Golden Key to relationships: "Give your partner the right of free will, freedom, and the right of choice." If you treat your mate like a child, you will soon be their mother. This then, is no longer an adult relationship, and it is not healthy for either partner. If you feel a need to dominate your partner, you are coming from fear. Deal with your childhood issues, and your feelings about your mate will change for the better.

Even before you find love, get to know the 3 Golden keys, and start to practice them in your daily life. These keys should become second nature for you. When they do, you will have a greater chance of attracting the true love that you seek. 


You 've just read the Golden Letter 

All the best with finding your TRUE LOVE


End. 








Ok, its not stolen work
was written by Whitneay Vanwells






32 Comments

spice
17 Jan 2008 05:59

Where do you get time to write this very long articles Baby A ?
Anyway thanks im enlightened keep it up my dear

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 06:03

Spice my friend read the fine print.................very fine print it says: "Ok, its not stolen work .........was written by Whitneay Vanwells"

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 06:06

U are very clever wena Baby A the fine print with the author is almost unoticable my buzum............LOL

witty lady
17 Jan 2008 06:06

DOES IT EXIST?

spice
17 Jan 2008 06:10

Im short sighted Nonny thank you for rescuing me from a blonde moment

Toodecent
17 Jan 2008 06:22

Ok few days ago I learnt from the best... I was told that "Never be afraid to love freely and wholeheartedly because of you have been hurt before, its always good while it lasts" .. So now am just passing it along.

witty lady
17 Jan 2008 06:30

sure MR MODERATOR!! wa e berekisa naa advice ya hao? I mean doing that is impossible.

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 06:40

Moderator, ur quote reminds me of this one that I was once told ethi: "Never be afraid to love freely & wholeheartedly becuase it's better to have loved and lost or hurt, than not to have loved at all!!!" 

Preshiii
17 Jan 2008 06:41

@ WittyLady: DOES IT EXIST?

Yes it does exist & it feels damn good & it scares the heck out of you because you're used to how "bad & false" feels like...it's almost unbelievable how "true & good" feels like.

It scares you because you've equipped/armed yourself with the necessary strength to survive the "bad relationships" & surviving those is almost like a walk in the park, then you meet this beautiful soul who just wants you to "wake up and he'll take it from there" (quote from Diary of a Mad Black Woman), and you know how hectic the break up is gonna feel like, should it happen that you do break up, because you have no idea how to survive TRUE LOVE.... that's the scary part....nevertheless you choose to love like you have no clue what pain is... 

Pooky
17 Jan 2008 06:43

"i've been hurt a thousand times 
i've been left alone with a broken heart
but i still believe in love"
heish couldnt resist this line from Shola Omar
I've given him all three golden keys, now when is he gonna give me my diamond ring heh.... mnxiiim

Honeypot
17 Jan 2008 07:04

Baby A, I have lived those golden rules the past few months but hayi ke my love just went away ne Festive season, So it seems that no matter how much you give to someone else it will always not be enough for them. People have a tendency of thinking the grass is greener on the other side only to find out that it was much greener where you were. Kodwa like Boyz 2 Men Say: Never, Never let a broken take your need for love away, don't ever let it make you fall apart....

faraimagic
17 Jan 2008 07:16

yho this topic!ok fine i once asked that is there any such thing as the one?

but well let me tell you love just comes and wen it does come it hits you hard.....when the time is right i will let you guys know wat happened to me recently i mean prepare people to wear suites and dresses....as luvbug has a wedding to plan....

dont go out there looking for love it will come to you wen you least expect it!
think of a butter fly...wen you want to catch it you cant go around looking for a butterfly to catch but you nwud rather go to a flower garden and stand there in the flowers the butterfly will come to you and land on your sholders...you then keep it safe....thats love

carino
17 Jan 2008 07:39

This has been my favourite movie conversation: Orlando & Helen on the DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN.

Helen: [upon seeing Orlando staring at her] What?
Orlando: I'm just sittin' here, tryin' to think of a way to say this to you.
[pauses]
Orlando: I'm in love with you.
Helen: How do you know that?
Orlando: I don't know how to explain it to you.
Helen: Try.
Orlando: Helen, if I'm away from you for more than an hour, I can't stop thinking about you. I carry you in my spirit. I pray for you more than I pray for myself. I've got it so bad for you I'd... I'd go to the grocery store and buy your feminine products, I swear I would.
[Helen and Orlando laugh]
Orlando: And see? And that... that... That smile. Helen, when you smile like that, my world... It's all right.
[pauses]
Orlando: I am in love with you. 


I curles my toes...

Preshiii
17 Jan 2008 07:49

Carino Bathong ungenza ntoni???

My favourite is when he says "U just wake up everyday & I'll take it from there, but there's one condition...... you have to be my wife.....Iyooo Orlanda wee!...bhuti mna ndihamba nawe... 

carino
17 Jan 2008 07:53

Pookz, i've watched this moven a thousand ad tree tyms.... I just luuuuuuvvvv it....

Here,... when she woke up and found the ring on her finger... and she rushed to the kitchen


Helen: Orlando, what's going...
Orlando: I know you don't believe in fairy tales. But, if you did, I'd want to be your knight in shining armor. You've been through so much. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Now I may not be able to give you all that your used to. But I do know I can love you past your pain. I don't want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning, that's all you have to do and I'll take it from there. There's one condition. You have to be my wife. 


That's what im talkin about, baby. That's wahat i'm talkin about RIGHT THERE!!!! where do you find men like these???

Gugs
17 Jan 2008 07:55

but guys bieng in love is such a beautiful thing especially when you get the same apreciation frm the person you love.

lepogo
17 Jan 2008 07:57

@ Carino,you sure know toe curling stuff.....

Oity no one would believe if I would say stuff like that,written by underpaid and currently striking scriptwriters..

Andthats the thing with women,when you say it like that,you must have picked it from some movie,or you heard your friend say it to some Charlie reeking floozie..

And to tell you the truth,everytime,since my 'troubles',everytime I hear such lines I cant help but think of those hungry and unsexy looking Picketers in Hollywood.....Too bad there arent enough Lotharios willing to spew such bile to women who do not believe anyway,but curl their toes to scripted,perfomed lines....

I love it though,deep and profound..

Toodecent
17 Jan 2008 08:04

Carino you da champ... Loved the movie too and the follow up Madea's Family Reunion.

LM
17 Jan 2008 08:04

Matters of the heart...this is more like it...even if the article wasn't 'penned' by you. I also think that you should love freely and wholeheartedly...what the other person does with your love is their own choice...they can either embrace that love or throw it back to ur face...atleast letswalo la gago will be clear. Whathever you do you must always remember that you can NEVER make the other person love you...he le fedile le fedile..finish and klaar!!!!!

Pooky
17 Jan 2008 08:04

carino gal u've watched it thousand & three times nyani.... uyayazi ne dialog... maar i must admit... that line where he tells he loves her really got to me...and the ring one, oh sooooooo sweet. i just love seeing people inlove....

Preshiii
17 Jan 2008 08:08

That's what im talkin about, baby. That's wahat i'm talkin about RIGHT THERE!!!! where do you find men like these???

I'm blessed with one Carino - I really am.

carino
17 Jan 2008 08:09

This is  from MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION

"Love is many things. It's varied. One thing it is not and can never be is unsure."

LM
17 Jan 2008 08:14

We enter relationships looking for love, expecting someone to love us or
accept us lovingly. This makes perfect good sense if you consider that
we are each born to express and receive love.

In some unfortunate situations, we can want love or acceptance so badly
that we will do almost anything to get it.

We break love's rules. We disregard love's house. We forget to set love
boundaries. We allow people to step in, be in, move in, live when we
have boundaries or standards clearly defining what we will do, how we
will do it in the name of love, and what we expect in return, there
never seems to be enough love to fill the void we have all, at one time
or another, felt in our lives, we enter "in the meantime".

What we do not understand is that we are the love we seek. 

Iyanla

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 08:17

Carino damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn u have just made the talkative Nonny speechless,,,,,,,,,,,,,I am going home to watch Diary Of A Mad Black Women & Madea's Reunion for the thousand & tree time, just becoz of u.........nami I wanna know both scripts off by heart............LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

carino
17 Jan 2008 08:23

@Preshiii.I'm blessed with one Carino - I really am.


Does he really carry you in his spirit, Presh? ... I kinda find that a bit far-fetched. Probably coz i hvnt met 'him' yet. 

Well, i nearly did, once but i messed up. He was two years younger and i let that cloud my judgement. Only to find out he's the real deal, and age's but a number, and it was too late.  He played Ndalamo on me till i eventually gave up.




Nonny
17 Jan 2008 08:27

hihihi,,,,,,,,,,,,,he played Ndlalamo on u Carino...........askies uyezwa????

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 08:30

"What we do not understand is that we are the love we seek." - @ LM that last line really blesses me yazi!!!

LM
17 Jan 2008 08:36

@ Nonny:that last line really blesses me yazi!!!   I know how u r feeling ...but do we listen and learn?   NO!!!!!

Nonny
17 Jan 2008 09:09

Ya LM............this listening business is a bit of a challenge hey.............*shaking my head*

Tashi
23 Jan 2008 15:55

Hey hey baby-a - a headsup that we've shifted your blog to the General blogs section instead of the TV blogs.

NEIZA
15 Feb 2008 04:10

sjura
23 Feb 2009 15:23


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