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What is your identity?

Written by madomado from the blog Blue Couch on 04 Feb 2008
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Morning Monday, Fabulous people....

Hope y'all had a great weekend. Eishkom decided to shed the rest of Cape Town's load on Friday Night; from 8pm till 3am, you can imagine. Must've been a whole lotta load, jerrrrrrrrr!!!

I'm not really sure what is happening in the soccer-front, right? AFCON n'all. All I know is, my man gave the TV a rest and decided to go out with his friends. I practiced the first money-saving rule : called three of my girls, hired two movies, made popcorn and just when i pressed *play* it went DARK!!!!!

Haaiibo!! We waited and chatted for about two hours hoping it'd come back. Nope....

Anyway, this aint about that...my girls and I talked about something that really got me thinking. Funny enough, at church yesterday, the pastor preached about Identity.

Ok, here's the story:

Our other friend (a guy)'s mother is half-Ndebele half-Tsonga. Even though it's the mother's Father that is Ndebele, they not so close to the Ndebele side. His grandparents are Tsonga and he doesnt really have a relationship with the grandparents from his dad's side. His dad, the dad that raised him up, is Afrikaans. I say Afrikaans coz that's the language he speaks. He's actually *Coloured*. So, my friend grew up "coloured", with a coloured accent, in the middle of the North West. He speaks clear Setswana and went to a Tswana school.
Recently, he found out his real Father is actually Xhosa and he was needed at his real father's traditional do.

What does this make him? Where exactly does he belong? Or, what exactly is his identity??

My probing questions are:

What is an identity?

Do we really need to belong somewhere?

How do you tell where you belong.

In psychology, there's a crisis called Nature/Nurture Controversy. This is to say, psychologists dont really know what makes us, "us"... Whether its the DNA formulation, or the environment in which we live. What do you, think?

82 Comments

madomado
04 Feb 2008 04:18

I'm confused

Tashi
04 Feb 2008 04:22

Hey madomado - managed to come out of Friday's loadshed alive- grrr! Interesting question - I reckon it's nurture that makes us us and that everything we are is directly linked to our social influences.

If nature/hereditary comes into play I reckon it's purely a phsyical thing - like if you have a parent who's prone to something physical - other than that I reckon who we turn out to be is all 100% related to social, psychological and emotional influences.

J-Girl
04 Feb 2008 04:29

yhooo your friend is lucky...uyirainbow nation yamampela ke yena ke but i can imagine the confusion around his identity.
i still think who you feel the most comfortable with is who you are, I have a friend whose mother is umtswana wase pretoria and the dad is Italian (ungake undibuze how they got together) but newho she is developed into a very beautiful young lady, very long almost silky black hair, very light in complexion but she cant speak a word of Italian, she infact speaks fluent Setswana and a bit of some broken English but she has this amazing fashion sense - TRUE ITALIAN but she is devoted to her African culture, i mean amasiko and all.
So ja I just think to save yourself the heartache of going around who you are and where you should be, just find what you can identify with the most and make a comfortable zone to be who you are.

belz
04 Feb 2008 04:32

Hello Mado, hope you had a fab week. i would like to answer your second question, Yes we need to belong somewhere, definitely!!!

mabhebheza
04 Feb 2008 04:47

Ur friend*shaking my head* is a mix masala just like me..I jut call myself a South African Citizen ....Belonging issue well thats a tough one ungumntu qha!!

Nonny
04 Feb 2008 04:57

Mmmmmhhh interesting!!!

Nonny
04 Feb 2008 05:04

All I know is that I am thankful for mixmasla coz due to that my hair is easier to relax coz apparently some great gandpa of mine was a coloured............phela I have to be grateful cos Dark & Lovely hair relaxer is painful on virgin hair............LOL

Nonny
04 Feb 2008 05:06

Sorry I meant mixmasala!!!

Pooky
04 Feb 2008 06:11

thiza Mado speaking of this load shedding kaEskom...was lying on my bed reading a mag when all of a sudden pam, no lights.... lit a candle, those thick short ones, put it on a sourcer and placed it right next to the mag i was reading so i could see more clearly(stupid i know) ... dozed off,woke up past 3am,lights on with the candle still burning next to me and with the wax about to spill out the sourcer on to my bed... got the shock of my life when i woke up and all i could say was Thank You Jesus...i just did not want to think about the many "what ifs" that could have caused that candle to fall over ndivuke ndingu Kentucky..... know its a bit off maar heish just had to share bangani.

Kim Possible
04 Feb 2008 06:20

just did not want to think about the many "what ifs" that could have caused that candle to fall over ndivuke ndingu Kentucky..... kodwa Buzum , yazi u always make me LOL , Thank Goodness nothing Happened but i couldn't help myself hihihihi Kentuky...

Nonny
04 Feb 2008 06:24

@ Pooky - Atleast u would have broke the record and become the first: "sexy" Kentuky my friend............LOL

boogy-babe
04 Feb 2008 06:30

Yhoo!!!!Nonny u are a busy lady vandag ne, ureplaya ngapha nangapha....Thata sana.

belz
04 Feb 2008 06:35

put it on a sourcer> Oh Pooky for someone who's campaigning to be a CEO, i worry about your spelling issues i think you were trying to say saucer.

mabhebheza
04 Feb 2008 06:43

Pooky buzumm ..eish u just reminded me of my 1episode Sorry mininni we Article but i have 2share my step away being a fried Kentucky i was cooking inyama ( oxtail) that takes long 2vuthwa Eskom decided shed so i 4got 2switch off the stove went 2bed dozed off ...mangitha smoke all ova the pot is dancing and making a whistling sound..

I ran 2the door leaving the stove on & house almost on fire...but ke all in all i survived the houe still smell like a chimney !!

SuddenCute
04 Feb 2008 06:59

yhuuu talking 'bout identity.... am mixmasala myself... (shaking my head @ mixmasala) My grandfather from my father's side is a khoi san(yeah that) and my gandmother from my father's side ke motswana... but my father o bua setswana although he knows a bit of his father' s language.. on my mother's side.. my grandfather dim'xhosa and my grandmother gim'zulu.. so yeah I grew up le batswana although i was speaking xhosa but i never went anywhere with it.. i did Tswana @ school and now my xhosa side is vanishing altogether even my spelling ...

azHOT
04 Feb 2008 07:04

identity is who you are. its not tribalistic, its principle,morals and values of an individual. we are all born with the wish and desire to belong and that need will never go away. i have never put myself into a box with a label because the creature that i am is really complex. i am Zulu, i speak English 80% of the time. I don't practice a lot of Zulu traditions but I am proudly Zulu.

Your friend is Xhosa. whether he speaks it or not his Dads roots are Xhosa. Like I said we don't need to be put in boxes to be so whats the biggie....?

Matlhoadibona
04 Feb 2008 07:19

Interesting, what i can say is that as a person you need to know who you are and which culture to do you belong to, then yuo'll be able to easly idetify yourself like i'm xhosa, zulu, sotho, tswana, english,afrikaans etc. As africans we belong in different cultural beckgrounds and there are tradition steps that need to be followed in each culture.

Feela he is Xhosa cause his real father is xhosa, weather he grow up speaking coloured language or what?

monchooza
04 Feb 2008 07:35

mina i would say its up to the individual ukuthi kumele enze njani......ngoba mina i am in a little battle with my fathers family they want me to use my fathers surname instead of my mothers. bathi i will confuse my kids ngoba they will be using the wrong surname if they use the surname i am using right now which is my mothers.......ende mina on the other hand ngithi if my kids want to be confused then they will be...mina i will never use my fathers surname ngoba it has no value in my life as much as my father has no value in my life to such an extend that if he dies and will be buried on saturady and i have a gig to attend on that saturday definately i will have to miss his funeral and go and have fun with my peers

Nonny
04 Feb 2008 07:44

"mina i will never use my fathers surname ngoba it has no value in my life as much as my father has no value in my life to such an extend that if he dies and will be buried on saturady and i have a gig to attend on that saturday definately i will have to miss his funeral and go and have fun with my peers".............yhohhh Monchy, mfethu that's deep, but atleast u are honest about the way u feel.

Pooky
04 Feb 2008 08:21

belz belz belz(miss dictionary) LMAO...mfethu i'm only a darkie kaloku, understanda my sista toe...i think i should have rather said isosari ke.
Kimmy kim kim... thank goodness nyani choma otherwise ngekuthethwa enye into vandag.. bendizoya kwa Eishkom ndiyokleima my friend
Nonny...sexy kentuky??oh hell no Nonz.. ingathi ndiyazibona ndinxibe imini yam ndihamba elangeni ngalomathanga atshileyo. LOL
Mabhebheza... mangitha smoke all ova the pot is dancing and making a whistling sound...which dance was the pot doing ke buzum? LOL.... just joking choma... at least you still have that roof over your head...

mabhebheza
04 Feb 2008 11:37

Ampur Dood!! wena Pooky Buzum! Shuu my enemies they were goin 2say this statement with pride"dankie mabhebheza dankie" rha! ..Back 2topc

Mina my mums dad is coloured,her mom is hlubi which is not fully Xhosa ( a mixture of Xhosa and Sotho) ok!..Bese mina my father is ...angimazi i assume half Xhosa maybe Brazzilian or some nation i actually dont care but at the end the is "ME" which is just Mabhebheza ..honestly it does bug me at times coz i wonder ukuthi when i get married( shuu wat disturbing thought) but ke mina ngizothi ngiyintloboni kapende...eish yabona ke this issue is depressing me becoz manje thinkin about growing up angazi ur dad brings sadness and hatered haai haai i dont do depressing isssue 4now im Mabhebheza ongumntu wohlaba QHA!!

cocktail
04 Feb 2008 11:48

he he interesting topic indeed Mady.....well i speak xhosa i grew up with xhosa ppl all my life,whereas im not xhosa,although ppl think i am,not that it bothers me anyway, ilke the fact that im not predictable about my identity,i can fall in any of my list n still fit ........my mother is hlubi,my dad is mosotho,that makes sotho according to my believes,though my grandmother on my fathers side is coloured,her mother is white n her father is xhosa,n my granny got married to a sotho man,c how confusing it is........well thats why i say im sotho,but i fall everywhere,n i love it cas its who i am........

cocktail
04 Feb 2008 11:51

that makes me MOSOTHO.........

andi01
05 Feb 2008 00:32

Mina i grew up believing hore I am Xhosa, hence my mother, step father and siblings,but I always had this attraction to Amazulu, I was good at ukusina, I love (still do), umaskhandi and my mada tells me I would dance imfene (a popular zulu dance) at age 3. I have recently discovered gore papa-ka is Zulu, do u think thats coincidence. I think that who ever you are there is a tiny piece in you, of your biological evolution. I think as diffrent people from different genetics mate, the genes bcome lesser, but they are still there.

carino
22 May 2008 03:29

Yho... where was i kanti when these probing issues were brought to the table...

Father!.... I have so much to say over this identity issue... and the confusion...

Okay.. where do I start?

athingibone.....

carino
22 May 2008 03:29

Nonny
22 May 2008 03:37

Every I go, Carino is duplicating.....yini bo???

carino
22 May 2008 03:52

Every I go, Carino is duplicating.....yini bo???

Im beginning to think it's sabotage. LOL

Identity...With me, I've come to believe that its not a matter of whom your parents are... its all about, like what Tashi says..... its about the choices you make.
Your identity comes from social, psychological, physiological and emotional influences. You are whom you CHOOSE to be.

These cultural differences just cause steretypes and with stereotypes there's always misunderstanding.

My only quest to people that box people according to their cultural backrounds is.... PLEASE LET US, MIXMASALAS, BE JUST US.

Thank you.

Nonny
22 May 2008 03:56

steretypes........mmhhhhhhh.........luckily I am not an online spell checker like u Carino, otherwise, I'd tell u u forgot an o as in "stereotypes".............LOL

tshepiso
22 May 2008 03:57

I also got a friend, close friend with the similar problem
her mother is Zulu, father German, born amongst coloureds, relocate to NW when she was 6yrs, she looks like she is from far Africa , but can speak Afikaans fluently as well as tswana.
is she a tswana, zulu, german, colured or bastard?

Dabs
22 May 2008 03:58

Okay mina I am a real mix masala here goes: My father's dad was half portuguese from Mozambique, My fathers mom, her dad was german and her mom was Swati (very dark woman).

Then comes my mom, her dad was colored and her mom spoke Afrikaans but she was not coloured. Don't ask me where she picked up from.

The essence is that we are apparently Swati but gues what we speak zulu. So we are really a lost family. Our identity got lost somewhere during the years,.

Nonny
22 May 2008 04:04

"but can speak Afikaans fluently as well as tswana.
is she a tswana, zulu, german, colured or bastard?"
LMAO............heheheeh Tshepiso, what do u mean or bastard????..........eheheh wena!!!!

"The essence is that we are apparently Swati but gues what we speak zulu"
Keep it up Dabs.........LOL.........jus kidding, do whatever makes u happy!!!

monchooza
22 May 2008 04:11

Any Khumbulekhaya recap.....

carino
22 May 2008 04:11

well, well... yha.. Stereotypes...but you see.. i spelt it right the second time....so it shows my brain isnt so left handed, afterall...LOL

Dabs... At least you are lost all together with your family... You are not hanging all by yourself.

Strolicious
22 May 2008 04:12

mina im 1 of those lost ones my mom is half zulu and swati, my father is half sotho and zulu,....and now my son is half zulu and xhosa..futhi akekho ongathi yena akasiyo imixmasala.

Dabs
22 May 2008 04:15

Nonny where will I learn that Swati language. But they are the same.

carino
22 May 2008 04:18

@Monchooza Any Khumbulekhaya recap.....

I've been meaning to ask, this whole time.

Coz I really laughed when that old woman said to those ladies ukuthi... Qhinani, unkulunkulu uyazi what what...

I was like ... ♫qhina mzalwane qhina...♫

Mopakistani
22 May 2008 04:20

my mother is not married to my bio dad,though i know him he didnt bring me up and i was brought up by my step dad who i call my father.My dad is Kalanga(thats a tribe here in Botswana,speak a language similar to ndebele) but becoz he didnt bring me up i cant speak the language and i dont see myslef as one.but for some funny reason i have always had an attraction to Kalangas..my boyfie is Kalanga as well..so i dont know wether its coz i am one biologically hence the attraction,and i have always known that if i get married in Botswana it will be to a Kalanga man.

Nonny
22 May 2008 04:25

"Nonny where will I learn that Swati language. But they are the same."
@ Dabs sisi, Swati is very easy to learn, mina I am 100% Zulu, there are no mixtures in my family *and I plan to change all of that........LOL*.......neway please learn Swati Dabs, it's a beautiful and very sexy language, and it's so nice to flirt ngalelolimi............LOL

I believe that if u can speak Zulu, u can easily learn Xhosa & Swati coz those languages are highly related.

Nonny
22 May 2008 04:29

"Coz I really laughed when that old woman said to those ladies ukuthi... Qhinani, unkulunkulu uyazi what what...
I was like ... ♫qhina mzalwane qhina..." (BTW there is no H in QINA Cari.....)

heheheh Carino, I missed out then, I guess that spirit of Qina Mzalwane is all over the country hey?...........LOL

Strolicious
22 May 2008 04:35

mina I am 100% Zulu, there are no mixtures in my family *and I plan to change all of that........LOL*.......ayi ntombi uwena umuntu,ungafuni ukubulala ubaba wakho,uzovele angabe esaya emafamu,athi u will turn his house into a brothel.....kwa kwa kwa

KellieR
22 May 2008 04:39

My grandmother from my mother's side is White, married grandpa who is Tsonga and they stayed in Venda. So my mom was born in Venda speaks Tshivenda has, a Tsonga surname and she looks coloured.Married my dad who's a Venda.So what does that make me? A Venda or VenTso?

carino
22 May 2008 04:42

BTW there is no H in QINA Cari.....)
And you just had to that, hey... didnt you?? LOL

But thanks Nons... eish.. I guess it comes with being mixmasala and kuthanda izinto.

LOl at RKelly being VenTso??

carino
22 May 2008 04:42

carino
22 May 2008 04:48

Um sorry....///tail between my legs and walkin away... ///

carino
22 May 2008 04:48

Um sorry....

///tail between my legs and walkin away... ///

Dabs
22 May 2008 04:48

@ Kellie you are 100% Venda. I married a Venda.

Nonny
22 May 2008 04:54

Carino, my love, do u work at a call center where u have these mangers walking up and down behind patting u on the back and asking u how many sales have u made?..........LOL.......ukuthi ngathi u are not blogging freely sisi.........ehehehe

Lex
22 May 2008 04:54

I'm also a lekker mixed breed myself,I dont even where to start explaining...

Nonny
22 May 2008 04:59

"@ Kellie you are 100% Venda. I married a Venda."
@ Dabs, gal I envy u, phela when I said, I am gonna create a mix masala in my family, it's coz I want to have "relations" with ama Venda the respect and pride that amaVenda have for their heritage is just phenomenal and besides ya'll know the story with Venda men and their lovingness!!!!

carino
22 May 2008 05:01

Carino, my love, do u work at a call center where u have these mangers walking up and down behind patting u on the back and asking u how many sales have u made?..........LOL.......ukuthi ngathi u are not blogging freely sisi.........ehehehe

LMAO

tshepiso
22 May 2008 05:01

a.a Lex, tswa ka tsone ngwanyana

Yehake!
22 May 2008 05:03

eish shame ne? mna i am not confused coz my dad is coloured his dad is coloured but mna ndimnyamatsu(black as the night) which makes me black even though behavior lets me away at times but am proudly Xhosa(its a choice... i know what and who i am!!)......

Hlehle
22 May 2008 05:04

Well i'm one way Xhosa no mix whta so ever and i plan to stick to that. Wena Nonny i agree with u kulendaba yeSiswati nesiZulu nesiXhosa that they r really related ndlela lendisithanda ngayo isiSwati.

Hlehle
22 May 2008 05:05

Well i'm one way Xhosa no mix what so ever and i plan to stick to that. Wena Nonny i agree with u kulendaba yeSiswati nesiZulu nesiXhosa that they r really related ndlela lendisithanda ngayo isiSwati.

tshepiso
22 May 2008 05:06

YEHAKE >>>>>>>>>>>>> eish wa mpolaya man LOL

Renegade
22 May 2008 05:08

@Monchooza and Carino: Any Khumbulekhaya recap.....

I unfortunately only got back home at 22h10 last night, so I couldn't watch KK, never mind recap...askies

Yehake!
22 May 2008 05:09

oh and i can speak a bit of afrikaans so when am sitting with my cousins...and they are all going " awe..cousin! kan jy asseblief my R5 gee" so i can say " askies Brad..ek het nie shelt(gelt)nie bro, maar jy kan tanie vrae!" and i am set!!!

Nonny
22 May 2008 05:09

"Carino, my love, do u work at a call center where u have these mangers walking up and down behind patting u on the back and asking u how many sales have u made?..........LOL.......ukuthi ngathi u are not blogging freely sisi.........ehehehe
LMAO"
Does that mean u are an call center agent indeed mngani? Shame bandla, this really explains ur duplicate responses, I understand the preasure of sales *ngadlula khona nami*.............LOL!!!!

"but mna ndimnyamatsu(black as the night)"
@ Yehake!, I hope u wear bright colours allot, imibala egqamile iyanizama nina eningamalahle shem..........LOL......just kidding, but seriously bright colours look nice on dark skinned people!!!!

carino
22 May 2008 05:11

Just thought I should share...

A conversation between a smoker and a lady street hawker:
Smoker : "Molo Sisi, Nivuka njani? "
Hawker : "Hayi noko Bhuti, sivukile yaye siphilile"
Smoker : "Ndicela i loose-draw ibenye" ...................hawker hands it over.........................
Hawker : "Yi R1 bhuti "
Smoker : " Awu ! Ingathi ulibal 'ukundinika umlilo nje Uthi ndilayite ngantoni Hawker : "Bhuti ! Xa uthenga i-CONDOMS e- GARAGE, BAYAKUNIKA iKUKU? Ngoku, kutheni undithethisa ingathi icigarrette i-phuma nomlilo?

carino
22 May 2008 05:17

LOL at Nonny asking me where I work nge-style .

Hayi, mngani... ingxaki i love you so much that i decided to try out your DH, and i guess ayihambisani negazilami coz... since i had a puff, i've been having these weird side effect.

Mambox
22 May 2008 05:19

@NONNY I am gonna create a mix masala in my family, it's coz I want to have "relations" with ama Venda the respect and pride that amaVenda have for their heritage is just phenomenal and besides ya'll know the story with Venda men and their lovingness!!!!
they have a good package too. PM me your email address so that i can send you a pic of on of my brothers friend who i'm convinced is venda...

tshepiso
22 May 2008 06:12

somePEOPLE slann my dronk, CARINO, TDC, KELEF they are biolingual (mind my spelling)
To: the above-mentioned ,What is ur IDs?

carino
22 May 2008 06:17

AO! Biolingual, Tshepi? o raya, gore???

Miss-Tick
22 May 2008 06:44

hahaha.....funny joke carino..............condom ne Kuku.......mmmmm

Nonny
22 May 2008 06:54

"Bhuti ! Xa uthenga i-CONDOMS e- GARAGE, BAYAKUNIKA iKUKU? Ngoku, kutheni undithethisa ingathi icigarrette i-phuma nomlilo?"
hahahahahah Carino, this is a good one, yazi wena........*shaking my head"

"they have a good package too. PM me your email address so that i can send you a pic of on of my brothers friend who i'm convinced is venda..."
@ Mambox phela indaba yepackage iyona engisanganisa kakhulu nje!!!!! Hayi kabi, but I won't PM u my email for the hot brothers friend, I want ur hotter brother himself, I've always known that one day u and I will be relatives yazi, phela we click kakhulu mina nawe..........LOL

carino
22 May 2008 07:00

carino
22 May 2008 07:01

they have a good package too. PM me your email address so that i can send you a pic of on of my brothers friend who i'm convinced is venda...

LOL @Mambox taking her brother out of the picture.

Yehake!
22 May 2008 07:19

eish nina nje! can't live without you!! you make mad and very happy at the same time....all of you now that i think of it.........**it's like mdavazo**** *sigh*

Yehake!
22 May 2008 07:25

ok Nonny i am not like pitch black(if i was i would definetly stay away from jozi, i might be confused for a venda or a shangaan or better yet a shona especialy with the clicks.....igqirha lendlela nguqongqotwhane!) but there aint no coloured complexion(Sp) on this booty(non existing)! oh and by the way magenge my mother is zulu... ((iyithakazelo zakhe) "mazulu, mageba, mntwana....ndlovukazi)"soo you all do get my drift mos?

Fluffy Head
22 May 2008 07:41

iYhoo guys I should tell you about this friend of mine who is soooo conviced that her grand mom was raped by a white man....cause she is sooooo light skinned. Both her parents are dark marayena umhlophe okwelawu. She actually is a hard core rasist because of that belief...just imagine and umakhulu wakhe never told her about no rape

Nonny
22 May 2008 07:50

"mazulu, mageba, mntwana....ndlovukazi)"soo you all do get my drift mos?
@ Yehake! - Yebo Mageba, we do gey ur drift.

"She actually is a hard core rasist because of that belief...just imagine and umakhulu wakhe never told her about no rape"
@ Fluffy - hayi man, that's sick, ur friends needs jesus ASAP.........she must get over that racism pronto!!!!

shai
22 May 2008 08:02

Smoker : " Awu ! Ingathi ulibal 'ukundinika umlilo nje Uthi ndilayite ngantoni Hawker : "Bhuti ! Xa uthenga i-CONDOMS e- GARAGE, BAYAKUNIKA iKUKU? Ngoku, kutheni undithethisa ingathi icigarrette i-phuma nomlilo?

@Carino.... You just made my day Girl... tl tl tl tl tl

Abanye abantu bayakwazi ukudlala ngamagama ibe ngathi bafunda i novel.

OK my mother is a Xhosa (intombi yemfengu), my father is Xhosa (indoda yomXhosa)
My Grandpa was a proud Xhosa man.they say My great Grandpa was a Sotho
that's why when sizibonga ( english word help) sisithi Jiyana;Msuthu; Gubevu..

......LOL@ Yehake

Fluffy Head
22 May 2008 08:16

Nonny: girl when I first heard her say that I was embarassed on her behalf thinking you are a well educated person how can u think like that....Then I was sorry for her, cause she actually believes her story,....Now I just laugh at it, cause no matter how hard I try to make her see reason_she won't budge...She even resigned at some job cause her immediate boss was white.

Nonny
22 May 2008 08:25

"when sizibonga ( english word help) sisithi Jiyana;Msuthu; Gubevu.."
@ Shai, the English word olifunayo is "praise"........like if u are waka Mkhize, ur praises are Mkhize Khabazela......"........Izithakazela are praises in Ingrish..........LOl........ya'll know I mean English njalo!!!!

"She even resigned at some job cause her immediate boss was white."
@ Fluffy, now I am convinced ur friend needs psychological help. She has a serious problem and the sad thing is that as a woman, one day she will most probablly have children and her kids will imitate her racist behaviour. She needs to get over her sick theory!!!!

Yehake!
22 May 2008 08:42

thanks Nonny thats why i love you pumpkin pie..you never throw me on the side.... even when you do throw me on the side***sigh***!

Nonny
22 May 2008 08:47

I love u too Yehake!

s.majola
26 Nov 2008 12:27

Guys if u know were i can GET A WEBSITE ENEZITHAKAZELO email me sphume@live.co.za nd yeah ngisho praises njengoba uNonny has explained

s.majola
26 Nov 2008 12:27

Guys if u know were i can GET A WEBSITE ENEZITHAKAZELO email me sphume@live.co.za nd yeah ngisho praises njengoba uNonny has explained

myname
17 Dec 2008 10:35

sisithi Jiyana;Msuthu; Gubevu.." Hey Shai ziziduko zam ezi sana, vele ke uyinto kabani wena?

rhinah
29 Jan 2010 12:00

Your questions refers to Personal Identity.

1.What is Identity?In philosophy, personal identity refers to the numerical identity of persons through time. That is to say, the conditions under which a person is said to be identical to himself through time. Personal identity defines what it means to be who you are.

2.Do we realy need to belong somewhere?Yes.To belong really means to be needed.. to be part of something.. to be asked for advice... to have someone give affection and show that they care... we all need that.That is why your friend is needed at his real father's traditional do.

3.How do you tell where you belong?Your friend's family is multi-cultural and multi-ethnic. He is part of both his maternal,parternal and coloured father's families but he belongs to his real father's family whom u said is Xhosa.He must go home to his father's traditional do because this can mean a lot to his future.As Africans we know about ancestors,so it is important that your friend should go.It doesnt mean he must shun out his coloured father out of his life just because he found out he has a real father,sitting down and talk as a family is crucial.