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child vs man

Written by Yehake! from the blog The child vs The man? on 25 Apr 2008
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Molweni Mabloga

Yho the things we have to go through are just right down hectic!! You my favourite peeps in the world tell me how you deal with these situations, there must be standard responces that are there (somewhere in the world!).

There are our little munchus, we love to death and we claim we would die for ne?but yho comes friday you call up the grandmother quickly to take care of this deadly situation. your angel comes to take you to this rockas do where you drink sundowners till you carry your party steeletos in your hands, come home at 5 in the morning to sleep 3 or 4 hours and head back to where the movement is!!

now my confusion is how you deal with this situation ne? your man (who is not the biol-father of the munchu) takes up so much of your time, keep in mind that vele you get of work at 5 and this heaven sent, takes you out for supper or something more and it just feels that without him there would be no "screwdrivers"ngala weekend ye 15 when the month is lying on its side( inyangimbi there is no money), you get home and this little self distructive thing is already in bed. you feel horrible but the same happens tomorrow!!

Ndithi ke ma- eh! you looove this munchu of yours and as i said you would die for him/her. when you see the little spiderman suits you just want to buy them all just to see little smile on his face, kodwa there is this one too( the man) who has an actual mbhoshongo and can do the job just fine, and who after a good service makes me feel renewed ! so what are the cyber people saying, time for the child or time for the man? keep in mind that the child will not satisfy you phsically, emotionally and otherwise but this little monster here is always there??

SO people whats your take? time for the man or time for the munchu?

31 Comments

Nonny
25 Apr 2008 07:39

I thought I'd be a good samaritan and give ur article the needed exposure........LOL.........ngiyadlala.........now that others have seen it let me read!!!

Nonny
25 Apr 2008 07:45

"......and who after a good service makes me feel renewed"
LOL @ this line, BTW how are we supposed to know who wrote this??

Neway, I am not a mother, but I would like to believe that my child will always come first ucansi lumnandi sisi and aluyi ndawo *Amen to that!!!*, it will always be here so plz be careful ngoba the time u spend ulandelana nomthondo wendoda ingane yakhe will be growing and u will miss precious moments with them. So prioritize and make sure ur baby is no1 and any other man comes second, ngisho kuthiwe ukudlela indaba ka July Handicap...........LOL

faraimagic
25 Apr 2008 07:49

Nonny....u gat Pride girl..........in a very cool way!and you know it!LOL

Toxic
25 Apr 2008 07:55

keep in mind that the child will not satisfy you phsically, emotionally and otherwise but this little monster here is always there??

heh?we ma, uthini nah? Ang'kuzwa kahle....what do you mean your child doesn't satisfy your emotional and otherwise needs?

belz
25 Apr 2008 07:56

Baby first my love, umntwana kuqala, ngoba indoda ingakushiya noma yinini and you can always get another one, but your blood neva, you punchu must come first ubumndandi later.

monchooza
25 Apr 2008 07:56

@ Nonny
ulandelana nomthondo wendoda

things you say mara wena....awubusiswanga .PERIOD.

Simmone
25 Apr 2008 08:27

"ulandelana nomthondo wendoda ingane" hayi Nonny hayi. LOL

Okay echoing the above statement, a child comes first and s/he never asked to be born. If your man loves you, he needs to know that you come as a package not as the punani. There are woman out there who think where they lay their punani's it’s their home. Build a home for the innocent little soul and the man will sort himself out and believe me that man will have less respect for you knowing that you would rather be his puppy dog than a mother to your child.

Nonny
25 Apr 2008 08:44

"Nonny....u gat Pride girl..........in a very cool way!and you know it!LOL"
Thanks Fara..........((((((((((Cyber hug and kiss)))))))))...........*wink wink*

"things you say mara wena....awubusiswanga .PERIOD."
LMAO, yeah Monchy, I know I am a little crazy.........ok ok more than a little..........LOL

It's just that I want yehake! to get it in her head that her child will always mean more than any man in her life ever will.............PERIOD!!!!.........I will not allow a fellow sister to be mislead by the power of hormone impene..........ngeke never...........LOL

P.S - I wish Sego could see this blog to give Yehake! worthy advice from a wise mother's perspective!!!!

cg
25 Apr 2008 14:56

he he he he...yazi its amazing wat women will do for their man in exchange for the happiness of their little ones. working hard and providing for the kid is not enough, you need to give the kid "mommy dearest time". as for the man he jst have to get it through his head that he comes second and lady mst make it clear to the man that he comes second to the kid...in that way ngithi the kid first then incanca(umthondo) second......and ladies musani ukufihla ingane zenu...let the guy know u got a kido.....

midniteM
25 Apr 2008 16:35

If the man knows u have a child, he has to understand that he can't occupy all of your time, Yes kids grow up & have their own lives, but by being a parent it's not about u anymore, whatever u do u need to think how it's going to affect your child.The last thing u need is a child who grows up having negative issues...

poshspice
26 Apr 2008 00:29

this is a tough one for Mommies shem. even in marriages most women are faced with a situation where hubby competes with a child for wifey's attention.

if dating, some guys would even say..'why don't you take your child to the grandmother'..there is pressure for young mothers who still wanna have fun while they have a responsibility to bring up a child.

it's true though your child should come first...however you can try to strike a balance between your boo & your child, your child becoming a priority when you have to choose between the two of them.

don't worry you are not alone..planning is important, you can spend a friday night out, during the day plan activities with your child, spend quality time, maybe set aside sunday bonding time with you child....

all I'm saying is you have friday, saturday and sunday...all these says can't be for your boo only....try to alternate cause the truth is you do need both people to fill different needs in your life.....at it is, it sounds like you are feeling guilty for not spending enough time with your baby..

good luck

Babyface
27 Apr 2008 08:37

Cmn guyz even on Friday?

Babyface
28 Apr 2008 05:13

By d way u can get away with it, thnx to Abosistaz abahlala ema-clubin & to d other wo/man!

Dimago
28 Apr 2008 06:41

there shouldn't even be a question, ur child should always come 1st. don't trade quality time with ur child 4 free dinners and a shag. u will regret it...

Mopakistani
28 Apr 2008 07:46

i think poshspice is very right...the both of them are important in your life and u have to learn to divide your time between them..or better yet the 3 of u can sometimes spend time together..i dont think if ur boo loves u enough he's mind spending time with u and ur child sometimes...thats what my boo and i do sometimes,spend time with my son and they have become quiet close and he adores my son though he is not his.

Yehake!
29 Apr 2008 00:32

Oh!!((sniff)) you guys read this article and responded, thanks guys and the advice is xtra cool! but shouldm i then spend ma weekends at home or what should happen?

STROH
29 Apr 2008 00:40

ur child should be ur number 1,i have to agree with midniteM....The last thing u need is a child who grows up having negative issues...

Nonny
29 Apr 2008 00:42

@ Yehake! - Hey there crazy chick, whatever u do as long as u know that umtwana wakho comes first and that does not mean ur life is gonna be at a standstill u just gotta proritize and know that ur baby is ur no.1, coz at the end of the day no1 held u at gunpoint and forced u to be a mommy ne?.........*or did they?, phela u never know coz we live in a very crazy world........LOL*

STROH
29 Apr 2008 00:52

Being a mother it beautiful,i use to think i wldn't copy being a mother coz u have to dedicate all ur tym to ur child,no more tym to hang out with abo accuze bakho and u end up gettin used to da idea,mina i make sure every month end i go home just 2 see my son,coz dat lil guys he is so special he made me more responsibily everytym i think of doing sumthin ,i think ,will my son benefits on dis,if it not worth it i just let go,luckily , me and da baby daddy we r stil 2getha dat makes it even more easier.but i do make tym for myman.

Cnglemother
29 Apr 2008 01:15

Stroh sweet gal! mina its every 3 months, i am going down tomorrow - eish cant wait to see his cute little face .
Posh nicely put!
Nonny uyahlanya as usual but its the truth

Yehake, sthandwa sam its not like you live on your own planet, there's things called neighbours and relatives and they come in handy. I know there is nothing like sex but your child will always come first and sex will always be there. Lets try and be a different breed of single mothers who wont abandon their kids for the sake of sex or a man, God has blessed us with cushy jobs and plenty resources to take care of these little souls so lets make them rebelious through stupid mistakes that can be avoided. If he cannot understand that you have child and you cannot jump as he wishes then tough. I was without sex for two years and i survived, yes impene was driving me nuts but the thought of sacrificing my child's well being for the sake of 5 minute pleasure was not worth it. My mother took over last year december and i only became sexually active this year and it was worth the wait trust me. The thought of me sharing a bed with my son (my used to sleep in my bed 24/7)and a man that's not his father disgusted me big time. Lets show respect and love to our babies so that the void left by their runaway daddies should not show through our shady lifestyles. If it means going to a motel and getting a shag there so be it but there are things that your child should not witness.

Dont worry Yehake basazokuhlaba and kamnandi futhi but your baby comes first.

Nonny
29 Apr 2008 01:27

"Nonny uyahlanya as usual but its the truth"..........Cnglemom - no matter how hard I try to be serious ngiyahluleka shem!!!!

@ Cnglemom - Spoken like a true mother, well said there mngani, but the part that crazked me up was: "Dont worry Yehake basazokuhlaba and kamnandi futhi but your baby comes first."..........ROTFLMAO, I can just imagine u saying this, hehehehehe..........

Best-Achiever
29 Apr 2008 01:49

there are things that your child should not witness
@Cnglemom .... i respect you for these words, you are indeed a great mom to your Spuchunuchu

sponono
29 Apr 2008 01:59

Yehake>>Oh!!((sniff)) you guys read this article and responded>>

Yehake ..I'm hoping that at some stage you'll find the decency to give credit to a certain blogger who took time from a rather busy schedule to direct other bloggers to this article....thats all I'm hoping for just hoping...u dont have to ......LOL

Nonny
29 Apr 2008 02:07

Yehake!, please just thank Sponono now and get over and done with it b4 he demands something more challenging from u...............LOL

Yehake!
29 Apr 2008 03:21

Sponono thank you lovie, that goes unsaid. hope we are at peace now? and to you ma blogers, now heres real life: this has been my life for over 6mnths now how do i then turn it around to work for me and my baby? i have thought that this might affect my munchu but i have not been able to devise a plan to nyanga the situation, that is where i'm stuck! Plz dont get me wrong i love that sweet face like nothing in the world, but i have already created this situation. how do i get out of it?

myname
29 Apr 2008 03:26

Have time for your baby; give that precious thing some love, care & respect because you cant expect your kid to respect you whereas you dont. And I dont want to spoil anything because you already talked. Maybe he/she would be the one who will be there for you when no one cares

Yehake!
29 Apr 2008 03:33

@Nonny i wish i can say someone forced open these two below my waist but no i was begging for it( iknow its crazy
), oh and by the way the biol-father incase any of you are wondering, he is perfect at everything: gardening, cooking, cleaning, shagging, dressing up and ofcousre last but not least RUNNING AWAY AND BEING A GOOD FATHER!

Yehake!
29 Apr 2008 03:35

THAT is meant to read hes also good at running away and being a horrible father!

Yehake!
29 Apr 2008 03:40

"me and da baby daddy we r stil 2getha dat makes it even more easier.but i do make tym for myman"

@STROH you should consider yourself very lucky and you should know that your man is for keeps, that is so rare to find or is it?

tshepiso
29 Apr 2008 06:29

i yoh....iyoh.......iyoyo..................
to leave ur child with a nanny or grandma,,,,,,,, DOES NOT mean your don't take care of your child or your child don't come first,,
""""""""people""""""""" REMEMBER to be a mother is not a sin, you don't have to jail your happiness because of motherhood. if it is time to get out with friends REGARDLESS the relationship, go for it. as long as there is someone you trust to look after you littleone.
SO........ BANA BA KO GAE ,,,,,,,, GATWE, GA EJE PAPA. TRUE

Yehake!
29 Apr 2008 06:34

Tshepza plz translate the last bit to either english, zulu or xhosa i hav just had a black out!

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