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SEX IN YOUR FACE

Written by Venusseed from the blog SEX IN THE CITY (LIVE) on 24 May 2008
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Do you remember the first time you had sex? Did you enjoy it? Would you change it if you could turn back the hands of time?

You are probably wondering why is it do I take you back to your embarassing, painful, scary or not fun moment of your life. Before I wrote this I wanted to find out about people's first sexual experiences but then I thought of writing about: "How can parents tell their teenagers to wait for the right time". When is the right time? What do you tell them these nowadays since sex has become part of public societ? In today's terms they say "Sex sells". How do you close your kids' ears and eyes when sex is so much in our faces? They get it from the internet and on their phones. They google anything and you as a parent you are just making noise.
How do you tell your 12 year old daughter you are not buying her hotpants and G-string when her idols like Beyonce, Britney Spears, Shakira are dressed in such? My friends 6 year old niece wriggles her booty like Miss Bootyliscious, usiga lekhekhe better than Chomee, she wants pants that show her crack and she calls us hot girls. Ok well she still does not understand.

Your 18 year old daughter is allowed to date now and then she introduces you to her boyfriend who is actually your collegue or former schoolmate. What do you say or do explain to her he is too old for her? Men usually say they prefare sons but what if you find out(don't mean to offend anyone) the 40 year old man your 16 years old son works for buys stuff for him for special favours? How do you correct these issues if daily we read headlines like: "20 YEAR OLD KHANYI WITH 40 YEAR OLD HUBBY EXPECTING" or  "MSHOZA TO BECOME SECOND WIFE" and "AMSTEL ENGAGED TO HIS PAKISTANIAN BOYFRIEND" Where do you take your child to protect him or her from this morally challenged society where overseas stars have sex tapes leakages?

It's funny how quickly they grow these little ones. One day they are running around playing hide and seek the next day they have deep voices, breasts and funny walks. I worked with girls aged 6-18 year olds in 2004. One 9 year old girl asked me: "Aren't you scared of making boys ho#$ny by wearing such a short skirt?"  I was shocked by her last word and she said "Don't worry they teach us about sex at school."  Ok at least she got that from her guidance teacher. Anyway I had my first sex lesson when I was 6. My sister who was 11 at that time told me if I sleep with a boy I will have a baby. Well it didn't make sense then.

I was sexually aware from the age of 11. I read health books and magazines. I knew about KAMASUTRA at 13. I still have that article with those positions in my diary. I gave up my jewel before my intended time because at that moment I did not want to end being raped by my dumb boyfriend. I felt dirty and sinful for a very long time. Enough about me.

You allow your trusted 18 year old daughter to sleep over at her friend's place only to read the Sunday paper headline: "SOCCER STAR CAUGHT IN BED WITH 18 YEAR OLD GIRLFRIEND BY WIFE"  and the picture shown is your daughter. What do you do or say as a parent?
What are the tricks to parenthood to these kids who know so much their rights than adults? Your daughter becomes a mom at 17 making you a granny before your 40th birthday. She will be telling you about her rights to education and turning you into a nanny. They even know how to get children's grant. The next thing she will be taking some prominent minister for child maintainace with 4 other girls suing the same person.

People are dying all around from HIV/AIDS but these children are throwing babyshowers in school like it is the best thing in life than a matric certificate. They label the safe girls barren in grade 10. 

I am just approaching 30 and with no child yet because I am scared of bringing up a child in this sexually laden society( Another reason I am waiting for the baby father to find me.Lol). Please inform me, teach me, tell me how do you speak to your children, siblings, nephews or nieces about sex? What if you find a vibrator in your 16 year old daughter's room? What is worse? A used condom, pregnancy test or vibrator?

How did your parents tackle this subject with you? How did you find out about sex? Can we protect our kids from sex in their faces at a young age? How old is old enough?



21 Comments

tha - bang
26 May 2008 03:16

carino
26 May 2008 03:19

yho.. too long too colourful.. I'll be back.

Mphoyame
26 May 2008 03:22

Speechless hey tha-bang.......

Nonny
26 May 2008 03:25

interesting!!!! *still reading though*

tha - bang
26 May 2008 03:27

I hear your concerns.my brother is turning 13 next month and he has already startd "choking the rabbit".i was taken aback cos he is still such a kid2me. So im doing what my mom did,getting him a good christian book on sexuality.let him read it and then we talk about it afterwards.but in such cases it comes down to the values that one picks up as a child.talkin from personal experience,churbh and church youth activities and extra murial activities kept me too busy to b thnking sex.by the time i was in varsity thats when i had time to explore

Nonny
26 May 2008 03:35

"So im doing what my mom did,getting him a good christian book on sexuality.let him read it and then we talk about it afterwards"
ahhahahaahha Tha - bang, I hope ur method works......

Fluffy Head
26 May 2008 03:38

Nna I had a cousin (17 at the time) who was staying with me...she was in varsity here and the family wanted to save res fees...The day I found a used condom after work in my bedroom was the day I bought a ticket for her to go back home untill she finds a place in Res...There is no way in hell I'm gonna be able to look at her knowing she was doing the nyasty, in my bed nogal_while I still consider her a child. Let her parents deal with her, andizoguga mna ndimncinci ngenxa yomntu ophaphayo.

Interesting article Ven, I think need help too cause I can't tackle the issue with my young cousins except to tell them 'the day I find out you are doing it, al die poppe sal dans'
I'm still old fashioned and cery protective.

tha - bang
26 May 2008 03:41

Same here nonny,only time will tell.but im not looking forward to the talk though.i for c us laughin about it come his 21st

Hlehle
26 May 2008 03:44

At my first time i was 18yrs and with a 25 yrs old guy whom dumped me to the mother of his child after six months dating. Altleast i was old enough though the bastard broke my heart. Ur concern is interesting Venussed and i also want to know how to handle these cases. My 15 yrs old cousin is pregnant and  she is still in grade 7. How to handle that?When i think of that no wonder she is still in grade 7 at that age coz she i way too concerntrating on these staff than her studies.

andi01
26 May 2008 03:49

What is worse? A used condom, pregnancy test or vibrator? ,  the worst has to be the pregnancy test, coz that means the little mafacka is having unprotected sex. I am cool with the condom, coz that means she/ is protected. The vibrator will be the best choice, coz teh little bugger is saving him/ herself from STI's and heartbreaks.

Nonny
26 May 2008 03:50

Oh my first time story is under Libra's blog titled: "My first time".......if I can find that blog I'll copy paste my response here!!!!

peaces
26 May 2008 03:59

Oh my god.I'm too worried to reply right now as I will be a mother to a baby girl not far from now.Yimani kancinci tu.I don't want to be stressed yet.

mstick
26 May 2008 04:41

Oh my god.I'm too worried to reply right now i will be a mother to a baby girl.........@peaces.

how cud you not tell me what baby u expecting sana chini i thought we were friends!!!!!!!!!!!

Feza
26 May 2008 04:42

ubsolutelly not my cup of tea! i'm not going to write about my personal sex experiences! i'll pass, thank you very much.

peaces
26 May 2008 04:52

Haybo!Why have you changed names all of a monday?Askies my luv I realy thought I told you.

peaces
26 May 2008 04:53

Haybo!Why have you changed names all of a monday?Askies my luv I realy thought I told you.

mstick
26 May 2008 04:56

@Peaces.......sorry abt the name change its for security purpose.....hihihiih..

no you did'nt tell me mannnnnn..........nxxxxxxx..i bet u only told Monchooza........what a friend u r.......

peaces
26 May 2008 05:05

Go to your GB.

mstick
26 May 2008 05:23

Ok sana intoni iGB.......pls mind my xhosa

mstick
26 May 2008 05:24

Sorry i think i now what u meant Guest Book...eish.......prrrrrrrrrr

mstick
26 May 2008 05:27

i meant know not now...what's up with me today......


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