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Fed up

Written by Hlehle from the blog Problems on 11 Jun 2008
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As u all know that things have been happening in my life lately and they were not gud, from relationships to family matters.

 I arrived in Cape Town 2005 and live with my uncle and things were great at first and at the end of 2005 things were'nt great as they used to be.I told myself that what ever happens is God will mna what i came here for was my studies i just have to concentrate on that. My Dad was the one paying my fees and when ever he did'nt sent me the money i wont pay fees for that month and my uncle told me that i shud forget about him and he'll pay my school fees and he never did. The next month my father paid the fees.

Okay then i finished the course i was doing and i carried on living there and late 2006 i got a job and things went frm bad to worse frm my uncle and aunt coz now i'm working i shud do everything frm groceries to the toiletries for everyone in the house. I kept quiet and i just did as they say. Early 2007 it was May 08 i slept over at boyfriend's for the first time then i came back the next morning, my uncle was angry. He called me names that i'm a hore and i must pack my bags and go back where i cum frm.

Aunt was away on business trip then she came back Saturday afternoon and i greeted her and she did'nt greet me back and i was like fine. Then we were not in speaking terms, me and my uncle and aunt ever since that friday. Everytime my boyfriend calls and i get shouted that its this boyfriend of mine and i disrespect them, why do i still take calls frm him while they told me to never talk or see him again. I did'nt say anything.To cut the story short my uncle asked me to move out of his house if i'm not going to obey his rules and i packed my bags and left.

I stayed with a friend & i did'nt want to live with my boyfriend, he was living here by that time and he was transfered to EC late 2007. Then they were bad mouthing me and they even told my boss to fire me bcoz of what i did and my boss told them that i'm old enough to take a gud care of myself and what happenned at home has nothing to do with my work.

Now my mom's older sister came here in the Cape to live with my uncle, and things got bad for her too. She is an alchoholic and uncle beat the hell out of her and asked her to move out too. She stayed with her friend and everytime she cum visit me at my place, she asks me for money and i gave her. Now i am no longer giving her money, she'll cum and ask me for money and i tell her no i dnt have it she'll call me names even in front of my friends. My friends now understand the situation.Everytime i meet her friends they always tell me she said this and she said that. She is bad mouthing me everywhere she goes now people are laughing at me that mna i'm nothing but a looser.

I dnt know what to do anymore i confronted her several times and she denies everything. I dnt know what to do anymore.




34 Comments

Hlehle
11 Jun 2008 03:30

They r the only family i have here in da Cape. I want to forget about them but what if sumthing bad happens to me OR I die will they take my body and bury it or they leave it till municipality burry it.

zolx
11 Jun 2008 03:43

This is such a sad story Hlehle especially its your immediate family doing these things. I dont have the right answers but just stay away from people thatmake you feel inferior. Its clear it doesnt matter what you do they'll always say and think the worst of you. Mna i find that detaching myself from people like that works for me. Do your thing and just stay away from them. I know this is family we're talking about here but sometimes you just need time away from them and they might also start miss having you around and stuff like that.

Hlehle
11 Jun 2008 03:55

That all i can think about right now just to stay away frm them and i cant wait for next so that i can relocate to EC. I think that will be gud for me Zolx. When ever i try not to contact them or not to visit their houses they'll cum into mine and tell me that i still have grudge against them while they are.

monchooza
11 Jun 2008 04:00

Hle hle you know our Qina song here on TVSA......Qina sisi and my 1Cent opnion or advise here is:

You are an individual who knows what she wants in life so just go for it and remember you are your number one priority, other people must come second even if they are family. do what makes you happy and as for people hlebing you left right and center, dont give them time(ungabi neskhathi sabo)

not everyone is your fan so, let them hleba you, but now give them good reasons for hlebing you. let the hlebaz hleba, its all they are good at

mstick
11 Jun 2008 04:07

sho sisi sorry man.........thats sad ur own family......

MADENZA
11 Jun 2008 04:09

wow a sad story indeed.

Cande
11 Jun 2008 04:24

Hlehle you working, smart and progressing...

Where do you work in CPT? rent a flat and stay away from those people...you will only see them at family gatherings in the E.C

I also have 2 uncles here in PTA, and i have never visited them ever since i moved here January this year because i know family politics can get hectic sometimes..We will only meet ko Taung during family gatherings and stuff..or i will only come visit when and if i really have to go...

sweetie my baby
11 Jun 2008 07:34

darling, this is heavy - what do your parents think about this? i think this should be escalated to bagolo level, really - your uncle and aunties are out of order, and the best people to tell them that is people their own age - really, such bullying tactics!  out of order! tswa mo bone, sweetie - just focus on bettering your own life, and let them stew in their own bitter juices!

Cande
11 Jun 2008 09:01

eish help Hlehle out bathong..this is bad

carino
11 Jun 2008 09:12

Hlehle, you can move in with me for now, girl... while we looking for a flat for you. You need to get out of that house.. family or no family...

PM me...

peaces
11 Jun 2008 09:18

My dear I was in your situation once and found out that some stangers can actually treat you far more better than family.Just be indipendent sisi and do everything for yourself.Remember one thing,in this lifetime you only have you.Things will turn to your favour believe me.

Hlehle
11 Jun 2008 09:21

I have my own flat Carino but they still cum visit uninvited and tell me stories, how do i hide frm them. I told my granny and my Dad about this and they said i must just forget about them and live my life as i want. But they still doing this how can i stop them ? Thanks for the offer though Carino.

peaces
11 Jun 2008 09:22

Aaaaw carino do you realy mean that?Ag maan that would be so kind and sweet.GOD BLESS YOU SHAME.UBHADLILE KANTI?LOL(just kidding)

peaces
11 Jun 2008 09:25

IGNORE,IGNORE,IGNORE!That's my advise to you dear.People will always talk,there's nothing we can do.

andi01
11 Jun 2008 09:33

My advise, on one friday evening, dring borstol and eat loads of halls, wake up the following saturday, do all ur chores first. Put on ur takies, nice jeans and a track top (preferable with the hood). Go to ur uncle and aunts house, tell them where to get off (make up stories about them) and shout for the whole neighbohood to hear (hence borstol and halls). Next go ur aunt (sunday morning when she is bhabhalazeed), do the same with her. It works for me. and dont forget to say these words, "rhaaa kunini ndininyamezele, nam ndidikiwe ngoku kuzoqhawukunobathane, yhini le, ndahlala kakubi emhlabeni ngenxa yenu, no man kwanele, lento kudala niyifuna apha kum niyifumene ke namhlanje", make them see that they caused all that and tehy deserev all that yelling

Hlehle
11 Jun 2008 09:34

Thanks guys for all ur efforts and advise means a lot to me but now i have to thath'ikhava. Talk to u all tommorow. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Nonny
11 Jun 2008 09:35

Shame man Hlehle 

♫ Wemzalwane Qina, Qina ♫ 

And don't take the bad things they say to u to heart, stay as far away from these people, awubadingi.

Toxic
11 Jun 2008 09:37

LOL Andi!!!

andi01
11 Jun 2008 09:53

Qina

@
Toxic, i promise you. My half brother and half sister used to treat me liek that, until I couldnt take it anymore, i flipped (with the help of VO Betrams then), but manje i am well trained, i dont need the intoxication to tell anyone where to get off.

Just Monday night, my sister was in labour, so my half brother refused to take her to hospital bcoz "he has flu". Yhoo Toxic I told him a tiny bit of what I think of him and i was only getting started, he jumped outa bed and took my sister to hospital. I dont like yelling at people especially adults, but sometimes they just push me so far. I am very very sweet, but Nigga please dont push me.

belz
11 Jun 2008 09:54

LOL Andile, hehehehehe. Hlehle, sorry about this but nami i've got the same thing with one of my aunts, i told myself uba andityi kwakhe so she can go to hell, dont let anyone, even family bakuphilise kanzima!!! next time they knock eflatini, thetha nabo kudoorstep and tell them to stay away from you or uzobahlaba ngerestraining order.

andi01
11 Jun 2008 10:02

The thing about uMndeni is that they treat you bad knowing that at the end of the day they will apologise and wena you'll forgive them. So man i dont hold grudges and i get even by standing up for myself while the issue is still hot. When time for apologies come, i have my own apologies to offer. its like that joe. Family can make you mad ngiyakutshela, mina ke I do as romans do, if u treat me like *bleep!*, i yell at you at tell u where to get off, stop calling you. But if you good, then you my best couzin ever

Cnglemother
11 Jun 2008 10:05

Oh Andile thixo wam wangenwa yintoni kodwa, ustrongo blind-blind! Ngebhadi I just cannot see Hlehle & her sweet self doing that. 

Hlehle uyakhula ke ngoku,zinto zakhona ebomini ke sana ezo.

Toxic
11 Jun 2008 10:14

ROFL Andi, i must take lessons from you. i can never ever scream/shout at someone older than me.

Dimago
11 Jun 2008 10:22

Shame Hlehle, this is sad. you can't change any1 unfortunately,i'd suggest u stay away from them. see them only on family do's - weddings, funerals etc...u really don't need the stress...

dotcom
11 Jun 2008 11:11

Eish Hlehle sisi. Family u can't live with them, and u can't live without them. i guess its true. Yomelela dade wethu

Firstdvd
11 Jun 2008 13:03

HLEHLE..."Just keep your head up sista" This is about jealous JEALOUS bcos of ur progress, nothing else. Why did they went to see your boss? Stay away from them & u'l see two years down the line they'll be after KHUMBUL'EKHAYA looking for u. Stay+++POSITIVE ;-)

Firstdvd
11 Jun 2008 13:04

HLEHLE..."Just keep your head up sista" This is about jealous JEALOUS bcos of ur progress, nothing else. Why did they went to see your boss? Stay away from them & u'l see two years down the line they'll be after KHUMBUL'EKHAYA looking for u. Stay+++POSITIVE ;-)

Ozayo
11 Jun 2008 13:48

Be strong Hlehle be strong...ihave family issues as well here in PTA, im frm EC every weekend my uncle has something in his house & im expected to attend all these just bcoz he is older than my father..hheee when will i live my own life...i just go there when i can coz i dont owe them anything Lol

Snonoza
11 Jun 2008 15:50

What's happening to you seems like abuse to me...you don't owe them anything so i agree that you should confront them and tell them where to get off. You are old enough to take care of yourself, so go ahead girl.....be a free spirit.

We need family bt we don't have to allow them to abuse us. And sometimes straight talk helps. If they can't appreciate you, they should just get a life....

belz
12 Jun 2008 01:43

LOL Firstdvd, Khumbulekhaya? lol, but yah maan hlehle,hlukana nabo for a while nje.

Hlehle
12 Jun 2008 01:53

By the time they go to KHUMBUL'EKHAYA i will chase them away frm me if they really want to solve their problem with me they'll cum straight to me without khumbul'ekhaya coz they did'nt invite khumbul'ekhaya in the first place when they started this. I have'nt seen them in two weeks now and i have change my sim card so i dnt have any contact with them right now.

andi01
12 Jun 2008 02:13

Ja and when KK comes tell them you are too upset you cant speak infront of the camera, make them beg, and then agree, when you speak in front of the cameras be as sweet as you can be and give them 1003 apologies, cry if you have too, when KK leaves, start threating them again, if they mess with you once more, somebody is gona be sorry they did,

sweetie my baby
12 Jun 2008 13:12

My advise, on one friday evening, dring borstol and eat loads of halls, wake up the following saturday, do all ur chores first. Put on ur takies, nice jeans and a track top (preferable with the hood). Go to ur uncle and aunts house, tell them where to get off (make up stories about them) and shout for the whole neighbohood to hear (hence borstol and halls).

@ Andi - i was wondering where you were going with this theme, HILARIOUS! i can just imagine your tiny self fortified by borstol and halls, screaming at nightmare relatives! ha ha ha ha ha!!

Hlehle - pls try this and let us know how it worked for ya!

HARAMBE24
12 Jun 2008 15:24

I did not read the replies but here is my take - There comes a time where you have to make the best choices for yourself - you want security where there is none.

SWEETIE - when your dead - your dead - you cease to exist. Please dont tell  me your putting up with their *bleep!* coz you dont want them to leave your body at the municipality...youll be dead, for pitssake!!!

As for your uncle and aunt - honey cut your looses and move on. i know they are family and its hard - but you dont deserve it.

As for the drunk skunk who always asks money...cut her out of your life too. Honey, you teach people how to treat you.

And when i want to be a fabulous bitch...i always yell: There is no award for being nice.


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