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Ever gone overboard

Written by Cutie Pie from the blog Ever gone overboard? on 22 Jul 2008
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Hi Guys...

I had to share this with you....

Last Friday i had visited my friend. On Saturday night she went out to her boyfriend's place and left me behind with our other friend to sleep over...

Guess what, it was her first night out with the guy. They've been talking over the phone about how wild and kinky they are etc...hahaha

On friday night we went shopping for her "outfit for the night". She bought those panties that have some hooks that go up to the thighs...I don't know what they are called. It's the ones you see in these adult movies man...

She also bought some handcuffs with some yellow and pink feather in it..it came with a small fluffy sjambok/stick (i don't know its fancy name)...

Hahaha, on the night, she only had her jacket and those panties on. We wished her well and waited anxiously for her to come back the following morning to tell us "of the wild, passionate night they had'...At 6 a.m on Sunday, we were woken up by her knock...We both jumped to the door...(we were so curious to hear the story)...
What we saw was an opposite..She simply said "Yho guys, will you please massage my body, it hurts"...When we checked, her body was green with marks..

She said the guy tied her in a headboard (using her handcuffs), and blacksammed her with her sjambok...She could not even defend herself as her hands were both tied..hahaha..Phela this sjambok is meant for light and playful spanking...but this man i guess did not know that. Uthi he blacksammed (wamtywatyusha) her like Mohamed Ali...Oh we laughed...

This other friend yena uthi she had bought some balls from these adult shops. Their duty is to tighten laphaya ezantsi when the mileage is high (you know moss sometimes it gets loose). She was going to her new man in Cape Town. It was also going to be their first night. I've seen these balls. They are quite small, you have to insert them in for maximum of 30 minutes and walk around. They say after that (30 minutes) your thing will be as tight as that of a virgin.

So ke my friend yena had left it in for about 2 hours. When she got to the man's house, they tried the whole night, but itotolozi could not get in...

In the moring, the man said "Hayi sana, go back, i have no time to waste on you"..He booked a the 1st flight to Jozi the following day...

So my question is, have you ever gone this overboard to impress a guy? Have the results always been "good"? Is the 1st night with someone always this overrated?

178 Comments

Cutie Pie
22 Jul 2008 06:55

I really don't think i have the ability to go this far...

Cody
22 Jul 2008 07:06

no i havent

Toodecent
22 Jul 2008 07:06

Cutie Pie my love just say nje you are wondering what if such happens just tell the truth LOL. Hayi ke I cant imagine the mess that will be written here when i come to check ka Friday.

stovu
22 Jul 2008 07:10

I have neva done any thing like this before I think your friends bebenegugu kakhulu sisi & u know what they say igugu lingalikhulu umbombo uyaqhosa if you know what i mean

cleve
22 Jul 2008 07:10

I don't think I will ever go overboard for a man I don't know. I have never gone that far but it will never hurt to try. Till I find the man ja I gues I will try.

Toxic
22 Jul 2008 07:16

hahhahahahahah, Cutie that's so funny shem-all those stories up there! I've never had such an experience mara i'm going to buy those balls for mileage...LOL!

Sana Lwam
22 Jul 2008 07:16

"...They say after that (30 minutes) your thing will be as tight as that of a virgin.
When she got to the man's house, they tried the whole night, but itotolozi could not get in... "

is this for real? Sana I didn't know people can go to so much extremes. Why didnt he stop the uMohamed Ali when he moered her? Is the whole story 100% true anyway?

Hlehle
22 Jul 2008 07:17

Why did she keep it for 2 hrs although she knew if u keep it for 30 minutes it will be as small as a virgin's. So what happenned to the bleksemmed one?

Hlehle
22 Jul 2008 07:22

Why did she buy thise balls? I dnt think i'll go this far but hey who knows.

stovu
22 Jul 2008 07:26

Did the bleksemmed one go to the police station????????

Cutie Pie
22 Jul 2008 07:27

@ Toxic - There is a lady by the name of Wendy, she's usually organised at bridal showers to show people how to heat up their bedrooms. You can also get the balls at any adult shop (I can give you her numbers)..But i never tried the balls, so i don't know exactly if they are comfortable or not

@ Sana Lwam : The woman was tied with the handcuffs when this happened. Uthi instead of spanking her, uye wambetha with the sjambok. Its not that long..

@ Hlehle : I would guess that the mileage was too high..I really don't know. My friend does not want to see him anymore...

Cutie Pie
22 Jul 2008 07:30

@ Stovu : hahaha...nope...I think the man thought the sjambok is for bleksemming, not playing

Toxic
22 Jul 2008 07:34

@ Toxic - There is a lady by the name of Wendy, she's usually organised at bridal showers to show people how to heat up their bedrooms. You can also get the balls at any adult shop (I can give you her numbers)..But i never tried the balls, so i don't know exactly if they are comfortable or not

Yes, please tell me abt this Wendy person. i can find an adult shop, i just need a black coat, dark sunglasses and maybe a balaclava to go into the store!

what aka mathata
22 Jul 2008 07:34

LMAO.yho.it did happen to me,i was trying to impress this guy funny part we met on sowetan online those days.

so this guy was based in bronkospruit ,he was a prison warder,they have their own houses around,so he invite me but before we used to chat on the phone ,at night i take a shower,make myself fabulous mos,yhooooo

this guy when is time for real tigers n lions,hm,i was nearly dead for good,when he kiss me yho i really lost my tongue,he ripped it,but i hold myself

he doesnt know how to put a condom,Jesus,when he put it,mayo mayo mayo mayo,he stop,he scatch my buttocks n spank it ,yho n later he said babes im tired(kamo nna ka batla) but the was something strange about him.

when we start to talk about our life n that time im not open bcs my tongue waaaaaas so painful ,metlhole his actions ,this dude is GAY

but i told myself im going to teach him a big lesson,i the morning i did make sure that his fridge after i left it whont work , i use a knife,once gas is out......

my tongue,bottocks they where so painful,gay men

Toxic
22 Jul 2008 07:36

LMAO Mathata!!!!!!

Hlehle
22 Jul 2008 07:36

So now the v-jay was too small so the totolozi could'nt get in. But ur friend was too naive coz if u can hold it for 30 minutes and ur v-jay become tight as a virgin's, she would have hold it for 45 minutes not 2hrs. I guess that is what she earned after over doing the thing.

As for the bleksemmed one i really dnt know what to say, didn't she explain it how its done rather than letting him bleksem her. Wow that her income too.

Nonny
22 Jul 2008 07:37

"uye wambetha with the sjambok."
OMG, but a sjamboz leaves these nasty black lines on ur body if ur hit badly, how were the after effects Cutie?

Cody
22 Jul 2008 07:37

Cutie! i also want those balls, please pm me her number before this topic becomes non-accessible. i can just imagine a ball in my vajay jay, my word! what if i cant get it out and it just goes up and up. this is unbelievable.jo!

stovu
22 Jul 2008 07:39

but i told myself im going to teach him a big lesson,i the morning i did make sure that his fridge after i left it whont work , i use a knife,once gas is out...... Yho Yho Yho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hlehle
22 Jul 2008 07:39

Yho Thatas!!!!

Cutie Pie
22 Jul 2008 07:41

@ Toxic : I got her numbers last year, i hope they are still working. I don't think she'd mind coz she wanted people to organise her anyway : Here it is : 083 995 5649..She charges a fee, but what she shows people is quite amazing, I just don't have the guts yet..

She also has some drops, that make you want more..You can give her a try

Cande
22 Jul 2008 07:41

LOL @ MATHATA

stovu
22 Jul 2008 07:42

I don't think its wise to use those balls even if I don't know them what if you cant take it out its stack inside your .................... I dont want them shame

Nonny
22 Jul 2008 07:43

"he doesnt know how to put a condom,Jesus,when he put it,mayo mayo mayo mayo,he stop,he scatch my buttocks n spank it ,yho n later he said babes im tired(kamo nna ka batla) but the was something strange about him."
hhahahahah Mathata, did I ever tell how glad I am u back, hayi mani ur responses are ((((((TOO DAMN GOOD))))))

Cutie Pie
22 Jul 2008 07:44

@ Cody : They won't stay inside doll, they have a string to pull them, just like a lilet..I saw these balls with my own eyes...trust me

If you don't get hold of her, try going to any adult shop around..you'll find something...

what aka mathata
22 Jul 2008 07:46

it so painful when you want it n someone play tricks with you,this dude he never touch it,he just put it right on d door,i never say even come in,for once

Cody
22 Jul 2008 07:46

Yho mathata my friend that was hectic joe! you have experience everything neh?

Cody
22 Jul 2008 07:47

Yho mathata my friend that was hectic joe! you have experienced everything neh?

Da Rebel 1
22 Jul 2008 07:47

he also bought some handcuffs with some yellow and pink feather in it Uhmmm ***inhaling with anticipation***, Cutie Pie don't blame me if I don't finish the article, you've pressed the wrong buttons

Cutie Pie
22 Jul 2008 07:48

@ Nonny : She was green doll, more especially around the hips..hahaha..

@ Stovu : Well doll, i never actually tried them in, but they have a string, they won't stuck inside, its more like a lil-let..This friend of mine had used them and they dot out, but she had "overtime" with them...

ratogal
22 Jul 2008 07:51

In the moring, the man said "Hayi sana, go back, i have no time to waste on you"..He booked a the 1st flight to Jozi the following day...
LMAO My word!!! ha ha ha.........!!!

Is this 4 real,Ga ke kgone go stop go tshega my is boss is even asking me if im criying because i can't lol!!! Damn this gal,y did she put them for so long??
I'll neva go that far mina'Hai no lmao

Sana Lwam
22 Jul 2008 07:51

Cutie, I have just tried the number and the voicemail goes something like this "Hi this is Wendy, the naughty little bitch..."

stovu
22 Jul 2008 07:52

@Cutie what do they called incase I go to the adult shop, wht will I be looking 4?

Da Rebel 1
22 Jul 2008 07:54

Phela this sjambok is meant for light and playful spanking...but this man i guess did not know that. Uthi he blacksammed (wamtywatyusha) her like Mohamed Ali...Oh we laughed... hahaaaaaaaa yho! LMBAO!!!

Cande
22 Jul 2008 07:54

this Wendy woman sounds old nogaal Sana Lwam

Nonny
22 Jul 2008 07:55

@ Nonny : She was green doll, more especially around the hips..hahaha..
Green pho........Jesus *in best Mathata voice*.......that is hectic stuff mfethu, eish kuyahlupha ukuba too much of a dare-devil!!!!!

Cutie Pie
22 Jul 2008 07:56

@ Stovu : Hahaha...i never used them yhazi, so i don't know the name. Maybe you can ask for "those balls ze mileage"..hahaha

Will ask my friend for a name, will come back

Nonny
22 Jul 2008 07:57

"Hi this is Wendy, the naughty little bitch..."
OH, what a unique voicemail, I am dialing her no. just to here her say that......LOL

Cody
22 Jul 2008 08:00

@ cutie okay girl, im organising my friends bridal shower, i hope i will get hold of her, as for going to an adult shop, i dont have the guts! i can just imagine someone (esp my dad) seeing me coming out of the shop, mayo mayo! I would be so embarassed!

@ thata's this guy when is time for real tigers n lions, who was the tiger and who was the lion thata's?
this dude he never touch it,he just put it right on d door,i never say even come in,for once bugwaa gwaa gwaa kwa kwaa kwaa kwaa, hoo weee!!! mayo! that was painful neh thatas? you should have just told him to knock first, that guy is not fair maan! He cant just put it in the door and come in, hai maan!

you know i love you thatas there is never a dull moment with you on TVSA!

Nonny
22 Jul 2008 08:01

I dailed the no. she sounds like a respectable mature Ngamla mama, eish man libubile izwe lethu, u can just hear her pride when she says: "the naughty little b!tch".....heheheh

U don't waste any time Sana Lwam, ubusuhleli phezu kogcingo I see.....LOL

Da Rebel 1
22 Jul 2008 08:06

Why did she keep it for 2 hrs although she knew if u keep it for 30 minutes it will be as small as a virgin's. @ Hlehle, to make it more tighter, which just explains one thing.... aight!

what aka mathata
22 Jul 2008 08:07

i think i must try this wendy lady,SEX WITH CONDOM MAKE THE WORLD GO ARND.

AKERE TDC(o dumela ka tlhogo

im gone C you guys

Toxic
22 Jul 2008 08:07

"Hi this is Wendy, the naughty little bitch..."

thought she said WITCH......anyway, will try her later this evening. Maybe she has a day job that requires her to switch her phone off.

Cody
22 Jul 2008 08:09

i dialled it too, the naughty little b!tch is not available! jerr!

carino
22 Jul 2008 08:10

Sugarcandy
22 Jul 2008 08:10

@ Mathata....................................You've just made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

carino
22 Jul 2008 08:14

OMG.... xolo!

Nonny
22 Jul 2008 08:18

"im gone C you guys"
bye Thata's u are missed already......

And wena Carino, zikhiphani, wa speechless, don't tell me u got hold of "Wendy the b!tch".........LOL

Cande
22 Jul 2008 08:27

Carinooooooooooooooooo

pariri
22 Jul 2008 08:31

hahahahahaha ROTFLMBAO cutie pie u finished me with this article
I can just picture ur friend being tywatyushwad ( blacksammed) as u put it OMG I can't stop laughing heheheheheh the things we do for umdavazo hay ngekhe

zolx
22 Jul 2008 08:33

ha ha ha...these stories are too funny. TO answer you i wouldnt go that far for a stranger...maybe to spice things up every now and again with a 'regular' not a total stranger maan....too funny for words

pariri
22 Jul 2008 08:40

OH, what a unique voicemail, I am dialing her no. just to here her say that......LOL
trust u Nonny to do that LOL

Sana Lwam
22 Jul 2008 08:40

She bought those panties that have some hooks that go up to the thighs...I don't know what they are called. It's the ones you see in these adult movies man...

he...he..he shame ne! she was really on a mission. I can see her with stilettos and the sjambok saying "come get me..."

pariri
22 Jul 2008 08:46

@ Cutie did they shag ke ngoku after the tywatyushing part ?

belz
22 Jul 2008 08:48

thought she said WITCH......anyway, will try her later this evening. Maybe she has a day job that requires her to switch her phone off. LMAO!!!!! you guys!!!! nikhuluma ngani manje. cutie your friend has got guts, it thot those things were for the movies only.

GUYS I CALLED THAT NUMEBR AND SOMEONE ANSWERED, I FREAKED AND PUT THE PHONE DOWN, I WANTED TO ASK TO SPEAK TO WENDY, BUT THE PERSON WHO ANSWERED THE PHONE SOUNDS LIKE A 16 YR OLD

Da Rebel 1
22 Jul 2008 08:58

he...he..he shame ne! she was really on a mission. I can see her with stilettos and the sjambok saying "come get me..." hahaaaaaa y'all killed me today jong!

you just ask yourself a question gore why women go through soo much to please men? Men don't wiggle & jiggle their pipiz to please their women bathong! they stay in tact waiting for the next willing prey

Cande
22 Jul 2008 09:00

let me try again

Cande
22 Jul 2008 09:01

let me try again

Sana Lwam
22 Jul 2008 09:02

iyhu Pariri wena how would you shag after being sjamboked?

Toxic
22 Jul 2008 09:04

GUYS I CALLED THAT NUMEBR AND SOMEONE ANSWERED, I FREAKED AND PUT THE PHONE DOWN, I WANTED TO ASK TO SPEAK TO WENDY, BUT THE PERSON WHO ANSWERED THE PHONE SOUNDS LIKE A 16 YR OLD

Nami i wouldnt even know what to say on the phone. Ngizom gooi'a nge sms!

belz
22 Jul 2008 09:11

Nami i wouldnt even know what to say on the phone. Ngizom gooi'a nge sms. > LOL!! Hayi ukuthi ngifuna anything from yena mina, bengifuna ukuzwa ivoicemail nje, manje ngebhadi someone answered, tjo!!!

pariri
22 Jul 2008 09:18

iyhu Pariri wena how would you shag after being sjamboked? LOL sana lwam

Floh
22 Jul 2008 16:13

PG 16: SL

Your friends are naughty wena Cutie.........just imagine me being kinky and get sjambolized after, nee man!

Floh
22 Jul 2008 16:31

This sound tempting, I think I have to call the lady, but what if the calls are recorded for quality purposes, iyho I can immagine after emmanuel movie, and there comes 31314 advert :

Hi, this is flohh, (in my best sexy voice)
Hi, this wendy the biatch, what can I do for you?
Ummh, ummh, i want the balls, wendy the balls,
You want them balls lady,
Yes, Wendy, them balls,
How's your milleage?
About 150 000 K's
Good business Floh, this will cost R1000
Yoh me fainted, will be continued!

Onna
22 Jul 2008 18:20

Haaai azange ngihleke kanje!you guys r just crazy. I think i want them balls also cause three heads have passed through my passage so maybe the balls will help. My hubby likes them stilletoes on during *$$ *which some times has logistical problems

Lady Caramelle
23 Jul 2008 01:35

hello lovely bloggers!!! very kinky topic INDEED which is why I love this article even more!!

Renegade
23 Jul 2008 01:46

but i told myself im going to teach him a big lesson,i the morning i did make sure that his fridge after i left it whont work , i use a knife,once gas is out......
Thso, i missed out, was off sick yesterday, but someone please explain that line to me...

Toxic
23 Jul 2008 01:51

LMAO Floh!!!!!! Your mileage is high maan!

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 01:59

"Thso, i missed out, was off sick yesterday, but someone please explain that line to me..."
Don't ask Rene coz u also won't understand the explanation........LOL!!!

belz
23 Jul 2008 02:00

Rene: no one can explain that line ngaphandle kwamathatha, you need to get to a stage where you try hard to understand her language, otherwise you are missing out. i think she did something to the gas yefridge so that the fridge wont work.

Renegade
23 Jul 2008 02:10

Lol, hai, ok. Mara Mathata nawe you must slow down, you and Thobeka Jeli, i can never read what you wrote.

andi01
23 Jul 2008 02:57

Anizithandi izimanga

awelani
23 Jul 2008 03:21

I called the number, it rang and I hung, didnt know what 2 say, just wanted 2 ear the voice-mail, Damn!!

BTW, Alo eribadi **waving**

andi01
23 Jul 2008 03:24

Alo Awelani, can u ear me, how you tho-ing girl, please girl, i can ear you, so alo to you too.

awelani
23 Jul 2008 03:53

I ear u very well Andi& um fyn, tried Kholing u izolo, bathi u shiye i phone endlini, but i didnt buy it, i think u were running away from the "FBI", LOL. where's Khoudi with her read dress?? lemme stop now b4 i go off-topic, lol.

Cutie Pie
23 Jul 2008 04:00

@ Cody :@ cutie okay girl, im organising my friends bridal shower, i hope i will get hold of her, as for going to an adult shop, i dont have the guts! i can just imagine someone (esp my dad) seeing me coming out of the shop, mayo mayo! I would be so embarassed!

You need to go to a place that is much further than your area doll. If you have a big straw hat put it on and park as far as possible...hahaha

My friend forgot the name of those balls shame, but i'm sure you can get them at adult shops

zolx
23 Jul 2008 04:00

Alo eribadi - yho...how long it took me to make sense of this...its the waving part that gave me a hint... Hi everyone

Cutie Pie
23 Jul 2008 04:07

@ Cody :@ cutie okay girl, im organising my friends bridal shower, i hope i will get hold of her, as for going to an adult shop, i dont have the guts! i can just imagine someone (esp my dad) seeing me coming out of the shop, mayo mayo! I would be so embarassed!

Cody, what will your dad be doing e-adult shop yena in the 1st place?hahaha....Imagine my dad inside the adult shop...yhoo...I'm sure if he asks "what were you doing there mntanam kulavenkile/shop?"...my response would be "I followed you tata, what are they were selling there anyway?"...

andi01
23 Jul 2008 04:10

They are quite small, you have to insert them in for maximum of 30 minutes and walk around. They say after that (30 minutes) your thing will be as tight as that of a virgin

I dont understand girls sometimes, why would a person want to shrink her punani with out knowing how big the totolozi is. What if the guy has a super-bangalala and you come there with your squeezed-dot, and the man cant enter.

awelani
23 Jul 2008 04:12

@Zolx: Alo eribadi - yho...how long it took me to make sense of this...its the waving part that gave me a hint... Hi everyone,,,,,,,Eish sorry i 4got 2 write "hello everybody" after eribadi, lol.

andi01
23 Jul 2008 04:13

I dont think the guy was clueless on using the sjambok, but rather wanted to bit the forwardness and nughtiness outa ya friend. I also think that the guy thot that this girl is used to sjambok-ing, so he'd better hit so hard that she never forgets about him.

Cutie Pie
23 Jul 2008 04:17

@ Andi I dont think the guy was clueless on using the sjambok, but rather wanted to bit the forwardness and nughtiness outa ya friend. I also think that the guy thot that this girl is used to sjambok-ing, so he'd better hit so hard that she never forgets about him.

: hahahahaha....maybe hey...

andi01
23 Jul 2008 04:18

She said the guy tied her in a headboard (using her handcuffs), and blacksammed her with her sjambok, ROTFLMAOL. the imagery is just too good for words, imagine "ukutywatyushwa yindoda, I am sure all her horni-ness just disappeared and all she felts was pain, ha ha ha

A friend of myne had a crush on this man, it was obvious that the guy wasnt into him, so we were out drinking and she seduced the man, it was soo obvious. So the brada took her home with him. She return after 4/5 hours and she could barely walk, uthi the brother shagged him liek never before, uthi he made her perform all the staff bazenza on movies and when he was finished told him to dress and go home. It was sad shame, but I just couldnt stop laughing,.

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 04:22

LMAO @ Andi01's sjambok conclusion.........hahhaha

andi01
23 Jul 2008 04:23

when he was finished told her to dress and go home

Blue
23 Jul 2008 04:24

Hawu Andi

andi01
23 Jul 2008 04:27

On the "balls issue", i know some girls who even use sniff and toothpaste to tighten their punani's,

Honeypot
23 Jul 2008 04:32

I wonder what the guy was saying to her, while he was busy sjamboking her?

andi01
23 Jul 2008 04:35

I think also some guys go over board to impress their woman. this one guy I dated back in the day, the first time i visited him, yhoo hay shame, he had champagne (i hyt i vein what ever kind), candles (like the red and yello ones sizilayta when eishkom plays tricks), roses on the bed, playing boyz 2 men (ill make love 2 u song over and over). OK, when it was time for Davazing yhoo his totolozi would get up and just die inside. And I was like haybo "iphi na lento yakho", and de mafacka was like "hay man yile condom", after few trials I was tempted to not use the condom but I changed my mind, bcoz I wasnt worried about STI (coz he has neva had a girl b4, dat i know), but the thought of mothering a child by a man who cant hold it uptight for 2 seconds. I said to him u know what "I am sure we rushed into this, lets tyk time" I meant nigga u aint seein ma black ass here ever again. i drank the champagne and made small talk 4 few minutes, then went home.

The followin day the nigga was spreasing rumours gore, "yhoo andimtyanga lamntana", and I was like "nigga please, where in ur dreams maybe".

Renegade
23 Jul 2008 04:35

Hai, the things you guys say here make me glad i'm a shy conservative girl, geez, beaten by sjambok? Not even my mom did that.

Mara no, there's a fine line between kinky and raunchy. I mean, wasnt your friend screaming, or the guy thought they were cries of pleasure. She could have just told him "Stop it you are hurting me"

Mina the furthest i'd go for a guy is to wear my sexiest lingerie and let him flip me over to his heart's content. THe balls and sjamboks and handcuffs are just not my cup of tea.

P.S. The stuttafords 50% sale is on, got me some nice Caprice lingerie at half the price. I'm wearing the bra now, and i feel sexy...lol.

myname
23 Jul 2008 04:37

hehehehehehehehe yhooo cutie hayi cha ngwaneso. I wouldnt dare. I'll rather have my original khekhe there is always what if sana????????

Renegade
23 Jul 2008 04:39

Ok, this balls issue seems to be an issue.
Tell me guys, i always thought it was a myth that your thing stretches to the point that it is not longer tight, i always thought that it has a lifetime elasticity which allows it to contract and expand as required. What yall are saying now is worrying.

Molilo
23 Jul 2008 04:42

Eish Rene would love to have a sexy number unfortunately where i am right now there is no stuttarford

Da Rebel 1
23 Jul 2008 04:42

On the "balls issue", i know some girls who even use sniff and toothpaste to tighten their punani's oh bawo things women do.....

pariri
23 Jul 2008 04:52

And I was like haybo "iphi na lento yakho", and de mafacka was like "hay man yile condom", after few trials I was tempted to not use the condom but I changed my mind, bcoz I wasnt worried about STI (coz he has neva had a girl b4, dat i know), but the thought of mothering a child by a man who cant hold it uptight for
LMBAO Andi hahahahahhaah

Cody
23 Jul 2008 04:53

Alo awelani alo!!!! my read dress is derty, mayo mayo!!! (im my best mathata's voice!) you just made my day! l never LMBAO like this in ages.!!! hai suka maan andi and awelani!

Cutie i am just saying, if he saw me coming out of that shop. My dad is too old fashioned maan, he will never know what is an adult shop LOL! just the thought of someone seeing me in an adult shop embarrases me like crazy!

andi01
23 Jul 2008 04:55

@Rene i always thought that it has a lifetime elasticity which allows it to contract and expand as required, the elastic is there it contracts and expands to a certain limit, take a rubber band for example, you can expand it all you want but eventually it loose the elasticity and sometimes even break. So in time the poor thing gets tired of contraction and expansion that it has no choice than give up. Thats when ke the "balls, sniff, toothpaste" come in very handy" LOL

I dont think that some of teh girls punanis hand expanded that much, but some ladies just like playing for the mvela leauge whereas they know that they qualify kwi PSL, look u cant spend 5 years davazing a 13 inch and then decide to davaza a 2inch and expect teh poor punani to just contract, thats a miracle.

Toxic
23 Jul 2008 04:55

What if the guy has a super-bangalala and you come there with your squeezed-dot, and the man cant enter

LOL!!

andi01
23 Jul 2008 05:02

Alo Khodeyi ma nigga, how u doing. Sori to ear dat ur read dress like Uyanda's is derty, but dont wari, we are no poverty and no iads, so we will by you another read one just like uyanda.

THe balls and sjamboks and handcuffs are just not my cup of tea, hay me two Rene.

@Honeypot I wonder what the guy was saying to her, while he was busy sjamboking her?, i can picture her saying "harder", harde, hard, har,ha, h , ho, yhoo, ayibo, eish, mh, mh, (then silence followed by cry-like sounds nokuncwina),

Renegade
23 Jul 2008 05:03

@andi01: the elastic is there it contracts and expands to a certain limit, take a rubber band for example, you can expand it all you want but eventually it loose the elasticity and sometimes even break.
Granted, but one of the reasons for the creation of this thing of ours, is so that i can accomodate the male organ, as well as give birth. As much as our eyes dont get tired of seeing, and our noses dont suddenly stop recongnising smell, our thing should not fail us like that!

andi01
23 Jul 2008 05:15

our thing should not fail us like that!, everything on earth has its value and purpose, but once abused the purpose might remain but the value decreases.

As much as our eyes dont get tired of seeing, sweetheart what are the optometrists for, to help the eyes of those who abuse their vision by watching 2 much tv, playing too much computer games, now you see even the eyes do loose the vision when abused.

awelani
23 Jul 2008 05:25

i can picture her saying "harder", harde, hard, har,ha, h , ho, yhoo, ayibo, eish, mh, mh, (then silence followed by cry-like sounds nokuncwina), tl tl tl tl tl, LMBAO.

Since we are "talking" about going overboad 4 ur man, next week its hubby's besiday and i wud apurishiate ol sorts of advices as i want to do sungthing "kinky"., so bloggers please help but no sjamboks, please, LOL.

Cody
23 Jul 2008 05:26

ROTFLMBAO!! andi, shem, u c see? you poverty you aids is no my problem!!I know you walk (work) your ass off in canada, plus you are a diplomant, you earn moni, so i am sure you will buy me a red dress like uyanda!

there is this hot, fine, brother at work,i used to cheat with him, until ba ntlatsa, this guy introduced me to a condom with a vibrating ring! now that is what i call mdavazo! this guys is the shy type neh? but he is so creative! if i wasnt cyber shy i would tell you what he does......... eish when i see him, i always hear some knocking on my v-jay! and u-clito wam yena, uyazfela ngaye.

Sana Lwam
23 Jul 2008 05:28

...playing boyz 2 men (ill make love 2 u song over and over).
Andi you have me in stiches, tl..tl..tl ja ne some people think this is the States or Canada ka Mathata (LOL) and forget its Mzantsi. But shame that was better imagine if he went local and played Sweetie my Baby ka Bricks

Lady Caramelle
23 Jul 2008 05:29

Guys did you know that there are cetain surgeries that are meant to RECONSTRUCT a woman's VIJAYJAY? hhe it's a dr.90210 world out there bafwethu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honeypot
23 Jul 2008 05:33

@andi01:i can picture her saying "harder", harde, hard, har,ha, h , ho, yhoo, ayibo, eish, mh, mh, (then silence followed by cry-like sounds nokuncwina),

LOL !!!!Yhhoooo you have just made my day.

Savage
23 Jul 2008 05:37

Ha ha ha!!! this is really funny! Imagine being cuffed with your own hand-cuffs and being Sjamboked with your own Sjambok!! ha ha ha!! Well- I prefer Stjamboking with MY Stjambok! Pun intended!

Cutie Pie
23 Jul 2008 05:38

@ Awelani : How about the sexy lingerie, bubble bath with scented candles (I hope he's not the type ethi "i don't take a bath twice a day")...Mina that's how far I can go...and cook some nice supper/dinner for him...and put a single rose in his tray of food...

Some people also prefer playing some soft music on the background and dance passionately..or KINKLY...to the music..Its a bit too much for me..but i guess it works for some

awelani
23 Jul 2008 05:39

guy introduced me to a condom with a vibrating ring?? A Vibrating ring on a condom?? it sounds very fun & entertaining?? where can i get dat?

andi01
23 Jul 2008 05:44

ROTFLMAOL@Sana Lwami, I wud have preffered u brickz, coz the boyz 2 men turned me on and he didnt deliver, kanti I wud have turned back, ran back home the minute i had Brickz singing

sweety my baby, sohlangane marenkini
ndikuthande ndikufake manzini
mangiqeda ngithi ukuthele bandleni
correct ndiyakukhuthaza my darling, sweet my darling
my darlingo, oo ye, ho we,

awelani
23 Jul 2008 05:45

Thanx QTphai, lol, I need to do some lingerie (pronounced Lingari) shopping,eish now i need a babysitha, any volunteers?? cant really have a romantic nyt with a child around.

Rene, sale ya Stuttaford i khou fhela lini?? i love bargains, lol

andi01
23 Jul 2008 05:47

But shame that was better imagine if he went local , and played something like
"uzoythola kanjani uhlele koneni" (in best madoza voice)
then I shud have know that I might not get what I am here for.

andi01
23 Jul 2008 05:50

@ Awelani, eish now i need a babysitha, any volunteers?? by her a read dress like Uyanda's and d-maths will be glad to look after her.and i hope ur baby doesnt like TVSA, coz D-maths baby doesnt either.

pariri
23 Jul 2008 05:54

i always hear some knocking on my v-jay! and u-clito wam yena, uyazfela ngaye.
naughty !!!! naughty !!! @ Cody hahahahaha

Firstdvd
23 Jul 2008 05:57

@Cutie P...U and ur chomee talk about [STUFF] how deep was V-jay? 30min * 4= 2hrs!Lol!

awelani
23 Jul 2008 05:58

ROTFLMBAO @ andi. I dont wana find my baby in the bathroom sniffing coke looking lyk a drag khwin in a read tyt dress, lol.

molibelis
23 Jul 2008 05:59

@ On the "balls issue", i know some girls who even use sniff and toothpaste to tighten their punani's, JUST IMAGEN THAT

ratogal
23 Jul 2008 06:00

Some people put beefstock in their punanis to make it small,I dont know y if o dula o davasiwa ke al size of dicks nd u expect ur punani not to get tired.

Some people say @ sum gals funeral while ppl saying their gudbyes the gals punani made a soung lyk a fart and it said katlaka phomola!!!

awelani
23 Jul 2008 06:01

Hawu Khoudi, where can i get the vibrating condom?? wana go 2 cloud 999.

awelani
23 Jul 2008 06:04

Some people say @ sum gals funeral while ppl saying their gudbyes the gals punani made a soung lyk a fart and it said katlaka phomola,,,tl tl tl tl.

andi01
23 Jul 2008 06:11

Some people say @ sum gals funeral while ppl saying their gudbyes the gals punani made a soung lyk a fart and it said katlaka phomola ROTFLMAOL
Actually one woman was sick, she spent her early days bending it more than beckham and now she was in bed, she couldnt speak, when people knocked, she would slowly lift her leg and put it beg, the punani will make a sound (pampin), which sound like come in

andi01
23 Jul 2008 06:13

and put it beg= put the leg back

Toxic
23 Jul 2008 06:20

Cody, tell us about this condom with the ring?

My shoppin list is growing by the day.

1. The balls
2. Condoms

Who else knows interesting stuff?

awelani
23 Jul 2008 06:26

I also heard that pearls do wonders, Tox. dont ask me how it works as i have never used them..and dont intend to. Mayve QTphai wud know, lol.

Toxic
23 Jul 2008 06:35

PEARLS instead of balls?

Dankie son
23 Jul 2008 06:37

Hhayi andi01 uthini manje kwa kwa kwa

what aka mathata
23 Jul 2008 06:40

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.LMAO

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 06:42

"Actually one woman was sick, she spent her early days bending it more than beckham and now she was in bed, she couldnt speak, when people knocked, she would slowly lift her leg and put it beg, the punani will make a sound (pampin), which sound like come in"
ROTFLMAO........Andi01, this is a classic my friend!!!!

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 06:44

Hey there Mathata.....

awelani
23 Jul 2008 06:53

Hayi man Tox, ndo amba ndari a thidivhi u ri zi pearls zi shumisa hani, but i dont think dzi shuma mushumo muthihi as the balls.

youngtodie
23 Jul 2008 07:04

@andio1 -i also dated this guy he was nice ,charming ,but he could not usehis totolozi ,a minute after penetration he's finished i was so suprised i had ask are u finished? .i said maybe its the1st time ,but even so the was noimprovement i just had to dump this guy. i wasn't getting any thing .and what amazed me is that he was so tired as f he did 30min orso, andhe wasso pleased. a week afteri had no guts to tell him the truth so i said i'm moving out of town

Cody
23 Jul 2008 07:09

Awe and Tox you can get it ko clicks,when we tried it, they were in the same package, but now they come separately, the ring is about R59 and use it with rough rider / wet and wild 4rm durex (esp dis 1), i dont remember the name of this kinky one, but it has something like goosebumps or better still skoon is da best if you are married!!! lekker i tell you, to see the real thing vibrating and coming to you, mm that's a major horn on!! that day, sho! abuti totolozi wouldnt go down even when the ring was off, dont say i didnt warn you. make sure that you have a bucket full of ice after the sexrothon!

awelani
23 Jul 2008 07:20

Thanx Cody, now i know what to get 4 hubby's besiday, ,,,, Cody, is the ring reusable??

LOL @ YTD, u sile sisi, tltl.

Toxic
23 Jul 2008 07:24

Awelani...tshimbila no vhudzisa pls!!!!!! Ndi khou toda u divha nga zwo!!!!

Ngqesta
23 Jul 2008 07:30

@Toxic...Yes, please tell me abt this Wendy person. i can find an adult shop, i just need a black coat, dark sunglasses and maybe a balaclava to go into the store!....this reminds me of a friend of mine (she always kills herself laughing whenever she tells this story) who wanted to visit an adult shop to find something to please her man up in Jozi, she's in CT. So she goes to this shop in town, parked her car far away from the shop, walkeed all the way, as she was getting closer to the shop, she kept looking around to see if there would be anyone who knows her that might 'accidentally' see her in this venture. at the door, she looked left, right and left again, then made a duck inside. Only to find that when she enters the shop after, all that effort, the guy at the to attend her stayed in the same street as hers ekasi, even though he tried his level best to make her relax while explaining the toys and accesories to her, she was just so unsettled and eager to leave the shop that she left without having bought anything.

Cody
23 Jul 2008 07:31

no babes you only use it 1nce

awelani
23 Jul 2008 07:32

haaa yo Tox, ndi vhudzise gai, ndi do check(a) kha Cosmo, u know vha dzula vha na zwithu zwa so, LOL.

Miss K
23 Jul 2008 07:33

@ Tox gal u don't need a coat and sunglasses to go to a porn shop! Ask me and i'll do your 'adult' shopping for u mahala!! Or u can go online and buy your toys there!

awelani
23 Jul 2008 07:36

no babes you only use it 1nce, only once?? do they come in packet or that R59 is 4 1?? I will give it a try and if it daz wonders as u "say", then i might just have to add it on my monthly bajet(budget), Alo gal.

andi01
23 Jul 2008 07:44

ROTFLMAOL @youngtodie usehis totolozi ,a minute after penetration he's finished i was so suprised i had ask are u finished? you asked him that, hi hi hi.
Its amazing how the guys with small totolozi are always satisfied and they cant get enough of u. This one guy I was with had a small totolozi, and I enjoyed shaggin ghim just to hear him say "oooohhhh, iyhoooooooooo, babeeeee, mhmmmmmm, u r mine forever", he sounded like some1 in labour.

ratogal
23 Jul 2008 07:45

@ Cody: WHAT IS THE ICE USED FOR?? TIPS GALFRIEND TIPS

andi01
23 Jul 2008 07:45

Toxic
23 Jul 2008 07:46

Miss K, pls go to one and find out what those balls are called tuuu!

andi01
23 Jul 2008 07:49

then i might just have to add it on my monthly bajet(budget), Alo gal.

kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa, hihi hihihi, hay mine, u make me gone (ungiqedile)

awelani
23 Jul 2008 07:52

oooohhhh, iyhoooooooooo, babeeeee, mhmmmmmm, u r mine forever", LOL LOL LOL, shame, poor guy, tl tl tl tl tl.

andi01
23 Jul 2008 08:00

haybo awelani, you should be syaing shame to me, coz the mafacka is depriving me all the pleasure while he is being satisfied, by I dont know what, coz my little punani was too big for yena, infact i cud hear his lillte totolozi wondering inside "where am I"

Renegade
23 Jul 2008 08:01

@cody: but it has something like goosebumps or better still skoon is da best if you are married:
You meand the ribbed ones? And why if you're married?

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 08:08

"cody: but it has something like goosebumps or better still skoon is da best if you are married:"
Eish phela iskoon ngumampela siyavuma hack, but ke we know the era that we live in, it's too much of a risk to not use iCD!!!!

Cody
23 Jul 2008 08:09

awe, unfortunately its is jsut 1 ring, its expensive but worth it! go ehed (ahead) and put it on your bajet gal!

oooohhhh, iyhoooooooooo, babeeeee, mhmmmmmm, u r mine forever", LOL LOL LOL, my word! (in my canadian accent)

you remind me of this hott guy that lived at res, he was a cutie, then my friend dated him just 2 get a piece of him, he would say: baby o monate maan! joo! voetsek! moerskond! bleksem! omanate maaan! LOL! imagine earing that!

awelani
23 Jul 2008 08:09

"where am I", OMG Andi01, ROTFLMBATIPAL, it was probably saying " where am i" with an echo, as if u r in cave. LOL.

awelani
23 Jul 2008 08:14

baby o monate maan! joo! voetsek! moerskond! bleksem! omanate maaan! LOL! tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl t tl tl lt

ppl bai bai, Ay em going houm, there are no tekhsis in johanisbeg, dats Y singlemada is not ere tudei, lol, just kidding. 2mrw guys.

Cody
23 Jul 2008 08:18

his lillte totolozi wondering inside "where am I" ROTFLMBAOWTIME!

Nonny you are right, if only i could do iskoon with that guy, but eish! with you aids,you poverty!! mayo mayo!! i dont wanna get sick!

ratogal: your v-jay will be burning up after that! hence the ice cubes, o tla go berekolla kind!!

Rene: correction swidart! if you are in a committed relationship!

zolx
23 Jul 2008 08:22

eish..seems i missed out a lot. Gud tips by the way guys...cody keep' em coming gal

faraimagic
23 Jul 2008 08:23

Tooo Damn Good.......!!!!! just a question to Bofssss.....you tried changing your name wat happened?

Cody
23 Jul 2008 08:28

Bai bai awelani, cant wiat to c ear your replies tomoro!!

Hlehle
23 Jul 2008 08:29

Uphi uThobeka Jeli today?

TheLady
23 Jul 2008 08:33

I can't drink champagne anymore-last year I visited some dude in Pmburg he had champagne and the works-while I was sipping on my champagne the idiot dunk his mushroom-like totolozi in my glass.
From then on I just couldn't drink champagne.

maud
23 Jul 2008 08:39

hi

i dont see anything wrong in going to adult Shop, i alway go and buy my Blue movies there ,i am not even embarrased and the Shop is next to the Taxi Rank.

Toxic
23 Jul 2008 08:55

Nonny you are right, if only i could do iskoon with that guy, but eish! with you aids,you poverty!! mayo mayo!! i dont wanna get sick!

lmao!!!!!!!!

andi01
23 Jul 2008 09:05

I was sipping on my champagne the idiot dunk his mushroom-like totolozi in my glass. ROTFLMAOL, @ TheLady, the imagery is killin me

baby o monate maan! joo! voetsek! moerskond! bleksem! omanate maaan! tl tl tl tl tl, eishy Khodeyi, thats why I mis u dawg, when i dont ear ur replies, LOL

spux5
23 Jul 2008 09:14

this is helarious................LOL what was she thinking.

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 09:14

"i dont see anything wrong in going to adult Shop, i alway go and buy my Blue movies there ,i am not even embarrased and the Shop is next to the Taxi Rank."
@ Maud - I guess there are no Zulu men at that taxi rank, coz they would pass remarks like: " Awebheki lesi*b* siswele indoda now siyaziduduza ngo plastiki".....

zolx
23 Jul 2008 09:15

Blue movies - IYHUUU...Ndaligqibela nini eli gama...welcome to tvsa maud..hee hee

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 09:17

Maud is not new to TVSA Zolx, in future just wait to see if I Welcome a blogger and that way u will know if they are new or not.........LOL

zolx
23 Jul 2008 09:18

i dont mind doing the online buying thing when it comes to 'adult entertainment'. i like to keep the innocence ppl see in me, hee hee. so i'll never go into an adult shop..unless some place where i know i dont stand a chance of seeing someone i know.

zolx
23 Jul 2008 09:21

Maud is not new to TVSA - a thousand apologies maud

uthini na Nonny...should i follow your steps? but what if you dont brace us with your presence like the 7 month leave u took from blogging with us...LOL

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 09:28

but what if you dont brace us with your presence like the 7 month leave u took from blogging with us...LOL
@ Alolx - Angithi I always give a month's notice b4 I dissapear, so will be aware and u will pay attention kulezozinsuku *glad my couple of weeks seemed like 7 months, atleast my value is visible.......LOL*

Nonny
23 Jul 2008 09:29

@ Zolx I meant - sorry sana, typo....

zolx
23 Jul 2008 09:33

@ Nonny LOL - sabonana ngomso bantu...its home time

Floh
27 Jul 2008 03:53

ratogal: your v-jay will be burning up after that! hence the ice cubes, o tla go berekolla kind!! Hhayi Codey kanti injani lering yakho, wena Awelani please cover it unless you want to see real BLOODRIVER.

@ Andi01........... Yini engathi wazi yonke inhlobo yendoda. Abaphethe kakhulu, abaphethe okuncane, nokusemaphakathini ?

belz
11 Aug 2008 06:09

I was sipping on my champagne the idiot dunk his mushroom-like totolozi in my glass.> ROFLMAOTIPAL, i dont know if i should be disgusted, hayi ngeke, gosh!!! things that people do!!

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