So Sunday 24th August finally arrived. Many thought that I would have been there, but that didn’t happen. No, it wasn’t because of my Jennifer Lopez type diva demands, it was because the producers of the show had called to inform me that due to my supernova popularity I was going to rob the new housemates of their moment of glory. They wanted to seat me in the plebs seating, hidden, so I don’t cause too much of a commotion with the attending audience. That’s when my inner J-Lo reared her head and I flat refused!
So I chose to sit in the comfort of my friend’s couch, popped the Moet & put his new Samsung Scarlet plasma to good use.
I have to say that the opening show was a hot mess! Firstly WTF was up with those damn dancers? Where the hell did they find them? And can they seriously call what they were doing dancing? I was SO annoyed, but I thought, it can’t get any worse than this….Boy was I wrong!
After the opening performance they showed the housemates from BBA2, saying what they are up to blah blah blah…It was kinda cool to see them all again. Some are exactly the same yet when I saw others all I could do was scream WTF! F.Y.I: I looked damn good! Lol.
Jeff kept mentioning the title of his book over & over again…. I guess he was going the whole product placement route.
Meryl looks like she’s a reformed Christian married to a pastor, lol….
Max……mmmmmmmmm………..lol.
Then there was Maureen who is now engaged and proudly showed off her ring….I’m not superficial or some sort of gold digger but lol. Love is blind, that’s why the stone on her ring is almost non existent. I think I actually saw something like that in the Game Stores catalogue last week. LMAO! Anyway Congrats to her.
Finally after a rather annoying wait the first housemate arrived. And it went relatively down hill from there….here’s my lowdown…
Botswana – She’s a pure old ass MSHOZA. She had irritated me within the first hour or so of the show. It’s one thing to be opinionated but it’s another thing all together to be offensive and down right disrespectful. The statement that made me want to go Spartan on her ass was when she so confidently said “F*ck the Bible”. Like I always say “Don’t f*ck with religion!”
Ghana – Dark Chocolate. She confused me a bit there. Not sure how I feel about her. She could be the first to leave and I wouldn’t be too fazed. But I wanna know if in Ghana they don’t make clothes in her size or what cos her threads were kinda tight!
Kenya – Ok ok…when she was walking in I thought “It might not be so bad after all”! That was until sms’s and phone calls came pouring in saying that this chick was emulating me. Oh well, let her try. I just think that she tries too hard at times but she was better than the two that had entered.
Malawi – All I could see was Maureen…. That’s when I decided it was a good time to go refill my glass. But in all fairness I think I’ll give her a chance, no one can be as bad a good old Maureen. (I hope she hasn’t packed a hot water bottle, God forbid!)
Namibia – She’s one of the youngest. I think she’s cute but she made me want to slit my wrists with a blunt razor. She has the spunk of flat Eno! She better get her sh*t together or else I’ll be vying for her departure…lol.
At this point I’m thinking “Dear God, please save us from 91 days of yawns!!” that’s when Latoya entered.
Tanzania – She’s loud, she’s pretty, she must have loved Meryl and Tati (cos that’s all I see when I watch her), she’s gonna be the skank of the house (hope she’s on the pill). F*ck, she slept in Rico’s bed first night. Get yours girl! Lol… oh yeah, her shorts were so tight all I could see was camel toe! One word for you girl “YEAST!” lol…
Now the Moet is getting to me and I still have not seen 1 hot male enter. I’m praying that at least the men should make up for my disappointment with most of the ladies.
That when the testosterone arrives…..
Angola – He’s a real looker, but he knows it so found that a little WHACK and unsexy to say the least, but finally there was some eye candy! He reminds me of Ronaldo minus the horrifying dental formula. Lol
Ok ok, not bad…I want to see more…
Nigeria – mmmmmmmm……… he’s a tall glass of Chocolate milkshake. Good looking, tall but needs a serious history lesson. (he’s the one that said the Tootsies and Hutus were in Uganda! It was Rwanda brother! Watch Hotel Rwanda and get a clue!)…I hope he’s not all brawn and no brains.
South Africa – He’s a real “Kasi” boy. That’s all I can say really. Oh, and he’s a real drinker. What was his profession again? Bartender? Cos he kept everybody’s glass full….to the brim and was the first to break the glasses….a sign of things to come I assume.
Uganda – He bored me….plain and simple! Mama’s boy pansie!
Zambia – lol, lol, lol! Give it up for the big guy! The Rapper! The real Biggie! Lol! Lol! He seemed so confident in his profile video but once he was in the house with everybody else he seemed to have an inferiority complex of some sort. Dude better get over it fast cos he is boring as hell!
Last but not least
Zimbabwe – Short, well spoken, articulate, and an all round likeable guy. Something about him tells me he’s arrogant. We’ll have to wait and see.
All I can do now is sit back and watch the niceties fade away and the bitchfest begin!
149 Comments
Only TVSA members can reply to this thread. Click here to login or register.