Please bare with me, I have a lot to say this week!
I must admit I tried to watch as much as possible but after maybe half an hour a day of trying I thought I would be found lifeless on my couch; cause of death – DBB (death by boredom!!!!)
So I gave up on that & thought I would just watch the “important” bits, the Thursday night presentation of the magic mushrooms for one. Their presentations were ok, nothing to write home about. But two things did stand out: A) that Munya is one articulate & eloquent brother with a great creative eye (best looking mushroom by far) & B) that Thami did not once mention the World Cup 2010! OMG!
Fast forward more boring bits……
Biggie then decided to reward them with a party with Waxxy on the 1’s & 2’s! OMG!!!!!
What was once a land of Alice in Wonderland on an acid trip turned into a strip joint in down town Atlanta…..no, actually downtown Jozi!!! A few things stood out…
Mimi was on her salsa tip topped with a touch of Vegas impersonator.
Ricco dances like a girl at a club waiting to get picked up. Very scary! Nothing manly about his Shakira meets Turkish belly dancer moves! Give him a Brazilian weave (& wax), 10 inch glass stilettos, the tiniest yellow bikini & throw him on a beach in Rio and I’m sure he’ll feel right at home! *My mind is completely made up! Ricco is an immature narcissist with cross dressing tendencies!!!
Sheila’s a$$ crack!
Munya is such a cutie!
TK’s hotel tapestry jersey! Which he wore the whole damn weekend! (mmmm…reminds of another jersey that used irritate me royally!!!) Does he smoke weed? Cos he was rolling those “ciggies” fast and furiously, like a pro. There was actually a moment this weekend when I thought there had been a death in the BBA3 house. I kept thinking “Someone please check TK for a pulse!” that was until he let out a little grunt of discomfort and I sighed with relief.
And the piece de resistance (with a heavy nasal French accent)……Slutoya (as she has affectionately become known...lol)! She never seizes to amaze me! Initially I thought I liked her, well a week into the show not so much! I have to give it to her she dances well (Mental note: Next bachelor party have to book her as entertainment!) she danced the night away and managed to slip her tongue so far down Morris’s throat that I’m sure she was able to taste what he had had for dinner (eewww, wasn’t she complaining about a mouth infection of some sort?). I think she’s convinced she’s sexy, with her OR Tambo International forehead (ok, that wasn’t nice but I don’t take it back!). Anyway one man’s meat is another man’s poison.
Fast forward more boring bits, drunken talk, sisterly advise…PAUSE!
Sheila disses Munya for TK (YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!)
The Housemates receive their task for that evening’s presentation. The task – to Tell the world who they are! They clearly didn’t take it seriously, and the results of this would be visible later on in the evening!
Fast forward some more…Stop at Sunday night Live Show
As I patiently waited for the show to begin I have all sorts of visions as to how the HM’s are gonna razzle and dazzle us. Just as I was mid thought the show began.
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Firstly, where were the audience members? The place was so empty! But I though “ok, the audience members don’t make the show… it’ll get better”.
My “the glass is half FULL” outlook was quickly shattered!
The annoying dancers were back! This time they seemed to be doing a role reversal. The guys looked & danced like girls and visa versa!
Then there was a performance by someone called Zeus. WHATEVER!! If the dude is going to mime the least he could do is make it look convincing! And I just couldn’t believe that Stagga (the Don Da Da…LMAO!) is attempting a comeback. LMAO!
Where the hell is the production team!??!? The show looked like some low budget college project!!! Things did not run like clock work!! The awkward moments of silence, the bad audio into the house and I have to mention again…the damn dancers!!!!
I began to feel like I had just wasted my early evening viewing on a load of crap but I couldn’t bring myself to flip channels cos I just had to see the presentations. And they finally began!
AND HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS…..
Tawana – Cool dancing, I just kept hoping she doesn’t have a Janet Jackson moment and unwillingly flash the masses. But after she stopped dancing I thought she was going to do some sort of praise song or something of the sort….mmmmm…no cigar there!
Sheila – if she went out there thinking she could sing then DAMN! But if she went out there knowing that she can’t sing and did it anyway in the spirit of fun….then... good for you and your confidence.
Mimi – LMAO! She has got to be kidding me! That’s all I can say, won’t go into the finer details.
Morris / Uti – WTF! I was at least expecting them to be one of the few that entertained!
Lucille – I think she’s a rather special case. The poem………so WHATEVER!
Half way through their presentations I felt so embarrassed for them, I was cringing that there is no way it could get any worse. I thought it was humanly impossible! Again, my optimistic outlook was crushed!
Latoya – was she seriously doing Mimi’s make up? When she herself looks like frikken Ru Paul! Don’t know what Mimi was thinking letting her do her make up!
Tk – I thought he was an Mc? A) He had it written down, so much for free styling B) he needs to realize that he is no Notorious BIG and C) his swagger power is about 1%! Plus what the hell was he going on about!
Hazel – She tried to represent or at least depict who she is.
Ricco – is starting to really annoy me. After warning Uti against wearing the wig in the performance claiming that it was “so Richard”, he goes and does exactly what he had warned against. A word of advice to this dude…Be original!!
Munya – WELL DONE! Someone who actually understood the task!!!
And lastly our very own Thami – what was he thinking? Up until this point I have been very, very patriotic! But after his presentation my stance is starting to waver, unwillingly! I hope he had put a big tin of Zam-Buck or Vaseline next to the toilet bowel cos he is about to suffer the worst case of Ring-Sting South of India.
Oh crap, almost forgot the group effort. That left my jaw on the floor. It was the worst thing I’ve seen….let me leave it at that because I have nothing nice to say about it at all, not a single thing!
My synopsis: Munya is a proud Zimbabwean from Sunny Harare, Ricco is a drag queen, Morris is the village idiot, Uti is an obese opera singer, Tawana is a true blooded Motswana, Lucille can read, Hazel is Malawian, Thami has Indian blood and a threshold for firey orifices’, Mimi is Whitney Huston and U2’s Bono wrapped in1, Sheila is….eish, donno, Latoya has the talent of turning normal looking people into clowns with the use of colour palates and Tk just needs a reality check!
My conclusion: No one understood what the task except Munya (kudos to you), Hazel & Tawana!
Mmmmmm…is this a sign of the intellectual or intelligence levels?......mmmmmm….just asking.
Anyway, am absolutely looking forward to this weeks nominations! Finally!
Till next week…
P.S: My rockstar of the week is Munya, hands down! The big L on the forehead goes to the biggest forehead, Latoya!
Oh, and those pool cleaners! ROTFLMAO! Like the Moles they too will fail!!!
Hallelujah holla back
L
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