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Ladies and Gentleman

Written by nkanyezi from the blog The Champ Is Here on 04 Sep 2008
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Ladies and Gentle man...
      Old and Young

                Welcome to the Rumble in the concrete Jungle.(boxing announcer voice)

On my left weighing in at 51kgs, standing at 1,68 metres tall, the under dog 'Kiss my ass- Nkanyezi!!! ( There is a roar from the crowd like when Oprah says-"studio audiance look under your seats")

A
nd on my right, weighing in at 70+ Kgs, standing at 1,73 metres tall. The feared and undisputed, heavy weight  of "belittling, overworking, under paying and abusing champion of this office park- "The Boss Lady"(BOOOOOOOH)

But truth be told, how many of us have had the boss from hell and still have one till this day?I think there might be a specific gene that can turn an otherwise lovely black woman in to a hellish, stingy re-incarnation of chucky's bride.

I sometimes day dream about lacing her tea with arsenic or kidnapping and leaving her in the middle of Iraq with an "I love USA" t-shirt super glued to her body. Infact, just  last night I dreamt of getting a potion that would cause her to  switch bodies with the cleaning lady that she belittles so much, who knows it might give her a fresh perspective.

I sometimes wonder if the ridiculously rich breathe a different more expensive synthetic version of oxygen? Do they look at us as meer mortals and themselves as demi-gods? Recently she(the boss lady) gave me simple instructions and I followed them to a T. Later she says that she said no such thing, that I should write down every single word she says because I can't listen and obviously suffer from the mental illness called "stupid". Now I have always thought I was of above intelligent but for a few seconds my mind was still... Just silent. My brain was fighting my bodies impulse to to grab her by her  Chanel Suit and push her to the floor. Grab her Prada heels and stab her to death with them and then throw her from our floor onto the conrete paving!!!

But alas, my brain won. I quickly said "yes mam, my mistake. Before I forget, the bank called- something about your credit card bill not being paid". I smiled and walked to my office and practised some yoga breathing exercises.


It doesn't bother me that she goes around the world on a monthly basis just for sh*ts and giggles, that she treats me like my degree and certificates are drawings  of stick men by grade 0's, or that she treats me like I have a mental deffect. It doesn't even bother me that
she's a complete cow or that she has the warmth of Cruella De Ville and the compassion of Jaws(the shark). It is the fact ladies and gentleman,  that it doesn't for one split second cross her mind that maybe, just maybe she could possibly be wrong about something, anything. 

She shouts at older men and woman like she caught them stealing from the cookie jar. She pays hard working woman from R1,200 per month, and she has the audacity- nay the balls to call herself a good strong black woman that young girlies like me should look up to.( wait while I vomit...........vomit..........ngiquleke, ngiphinde ngivuke..... and vomit some more)

I don't hate her though, she just makes me want to commit murder.

 But sometimes try to put myself in her shoes. Life must be "hard" in Millionaires Avenue...








16 Comments

heavenly
04 Sep 2008 15:00

hahahah LOL sowri Nkanyezi. this is a nyc read though. im laughing so hard. you have all the "murder tricks", jotted in a notebook perhaps?.

Life must be "hard" in Millionaires Avenue...ongaphakathi ufuna ukphuma, ongaphandle ufuna ukungenaLOL

Beyonce Knowles Bee
04 Sep 2008 15:20

Yah Lol Nkanyezi some people need Prayer and Jesus, O Gaawd with Rebecca Malope's Voice on her SABC2 Show!!!!!!!!!!

But just hang in there someone who appeciates for who you are will see you. For your Degrees!!!!

Firstdvd
04 Sep 2008 23:31

President wami :-) you killed me with that vomit, quleka, vuka & vomit some more tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl...But ja, i know what you talking about. My manager is a female but her assistant is just like your bofssss(sp) lady, not to of though! Lol!

kick-s
05 Sep 2008 00:07

Great article Nkanyeni. uyakwazi ukubhala shame sisi. Female bosses are just like mothers-in-law, sometimes they are just mean because they are expected to be.

mayandie
05 Sep 2008 00:16

Nkanyezi where do you come from maar he??????
Haaahahahaha...
sometimes day dream about lacing her tea with arsenic or kidnapping and leaving her in the middle of Iraq with an "I love USA" t-shirt super glued to her body.
Uyakuuya eziiPieces that is if anyone will still recognise the USA body

andi01
05 Sep 2008 01:49

@Capslock, try typing in CAPSLOCK LOL

Cnglemother
05 Sep 2008 02:02

tl-tl-tl! and i thought u were a boy.

LM
05 Sep 2008 02:02

Nkanyeni, great article sisi....love the way you play with words...

Your boss is insecure and probably have a low selfesteem. She is trying to make herself feel important and better by mistreating others...powerful, competent, intellegent & strong people (women) don't resort to this lowlife tactics to gain respect from other people or subordinates. Go ahead wena and put that arsenic in her tea..LMAO

monchooza
05 Sep 2008 02:09

Unegqwirha le boss...askies

tha - bang
05 Sep 2008 02:13

lol

Thesh
05 Sep 2008 02:32

Its amazing couse I don't have a boss lady, but there's this lady who wants to be my boss just because she reports to the MD and I report to the Director, mind you she came to this company after me, but she want to boss me around, to an extent there was a time where we did not talk to each other, and I was suppose to teach her the company work and she started labeling me, so I kept my distance from her till further notice.

Nice article Nkanyezi

nkanyezi
05 Sep 2008 06:29

Thanks, guys.

Glad somebody feels for me:(

On the bright side she only has me untill the 28th day of November. I think that is 60 days minus the public holiday:)

Eish, by the by, if anyone knows how I can get paid to write stuff for cash please holla at me. I would love to do what I love for a living instead of this 9-5 thing.

Ms. Jay
05 Sep 2008 06:48

LMAO..........an i thought I had a boss from Iraq...wont say hell, i know how you feel but hey something good will come up for you - i just heard the best news today so trust me --------something will happen for you till then start writing a book it pays

nkanyezi
05 Sep 2008 06:29

Thanks, guys.

Glad somebody feels for me:(

On the bright side she only has me untill the 28th day of November. I think that is 60 days minus the public holiday:)

Eish, by the by, if anyone knows how I can get paid to write stuff for cash please holla at me. I would love to do what I love for a living instead of this 9-5 thing.

Ms. Jay
05 Sep 2008 06:48

LMAO..........an i thought I had a boss from Iraq...wont say hell, i know how you feel but hey something good will come up for you - i just heard the best news today so trust me --------something will happen for you till then start writing a book it pays

nkanyezi
12 Sep 2008 00:56

I think she may be losing her mind.


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