It has become increasingly hard to stay tuned for more than 30 minutes to Channel 198. Firstly because all the housemates seem to do is hoard around each other having a major, meaningless Pow Wow’s, secondly because they are all constantly screaming at the same time like a bunch of wild banshees so we can never fully hear what they are saying anyway! And of course because I think the whole show is getting pretty ridiculous!
The first fake eviction was ok, a nice little twist to keep the house mates on their toes. But I think the creative team needs to get off the horse tranquilizers and vicodin and stop trying so damn hard to make the show “Wild & Wacky”!
I’m not gonna bother too much about the week that was but a few events deserve special mention…`
Morris needs to wipe the brown stuff off his nose! Because all the ass kissing he’s doing to Latoya is that obvious. He needs to move on already! Yeah, he may not have the best personality but it seems like the desperation to hook up is setting with the ladies so he might have a second chance at “love”….lol.
Uti has become quite vocal lately; I think he takes up any reason to argue. (Note to self: have to arrange for him and Justice to have an Argument Face off!) And has he become a narcoleptic? Cos he seems to nap at any given moment.
Mimi has moved to the top of my favourites list. The girl is unintentionally amusing. I get the feeling she sees herself as a dark-chocolate-woman-of-wisdom-Pamela Anderson type– Bond Girl - sex vixen. Contrary to what the mirror says though. None the less her confidence is what makes her rock for me…
Munya is slipping….at a rather rapid pace actually. He follows Lucille as if she has doggy treats hidden in her underwear… he’s become such a love sick pup.
Friday came and the female pool cleaner arrived to do her thang’… it was only fair as the girls had had their share of perv moments last week. Next time when it’s her turn to clean the pool Biggie should make sure that there are enough bibs for the boys, cos she had them drooling worse than an 8 month old baby eating Cheese Naks! The eye candy, clad in a blue bikini gave the guys one hell of a show, much to the dismay of the female housemates. In fact their jealousy led to them hurling insults at the poor girl. The main culprits were of course Mimi & Slutoya. Slutoya took the trophy though. Commenting on the girl’s figure, fake hair, stretch marks and breasts. She was in no position to talk at all & I’ma put her in her place damn quick (and it’s because she’s just a plain trashy person. I know I aint perfect but the girl is forcing me to rebuttal! And defend the poor girl who is probably contractually bound not to talk back to the housemates!)
Here we go:
• Her own stretch marks look like the damn Nile River drainage system
• Her wild, fake ass synthetic hair makes her look like she’s part of the Lion King cast
• Her boobs aren’t that great either, I keep thinking Orangutan.
• And her cellulite reminds me of the pot-hole filled roads we use to go visit some of my family that lives in the hectically rural areas of SA.
• So she needs to get herself in check! And Quick!
Fast forward all the other unnecessary crap that bored me…
Sunday arrived much to my delight. As the show started I crossed my fingers, toes, and everything else that I could for Slutoya’s name to be called as the first to leave. But before they could make the announcement we were subjected to yet another dodgy mimed performance. Where the hell are all the A-grade artists from Africa? Do they also realize that this show is really suspect, is that why none are gracing the stage?
Anyway…then the concept of the Rubbish dump was explained. OMG! These guys have to be bloody kidding me! Firstly I think it’s a dumb ass idea and a waste of time! The place just happens to be the penthouse minus the glam, with just the bare essentials and loads of stuff which should have been given to a homeless person to go recycle and get cash for. And I have to say that I think it’s just a ploy to get all ya’lls money. It’s a con to vote for people who you, as the viewing public, have already decided should be out. I smell a money making scheme!
So the show continued. I did notice that there were a few more audience members this time around…did the producers invest in “Rent-a-Crowd”? lol…..if so then they get an “A” for effort….lol.
When the time FINALLY came for them to announce the evicted housemates I was more than thrilled to see Slutoya had been voted out by all but 3 countries (SA, come on, what went wronge!?) And it was obvious that Tawana would be going with her. I was, however, surprised that Sheila hadn’t received not even a single vote…good for her.
The two where led back to the diary room. Slutty was more than ecstatic that she had not been evicted. In her puny mind it was yet another fake eviction. She seemed so sure that Africa would never vote her out…she’s convinced that she is Africa’s Darling….lol…..mean while back at the ranch…..lol.
Upon reaching the Rubbish dump Slutty immediately started whining! I swear if I was had been stuck with that chick I would have opted for a slow and painful death instead or just start slitting my wrists with a very, very blunt razor. I get the impression that she thinks she is entertaining, that she brings the drama and brings spice to the house…I think she’s delusional! Tawana immediately makes the best of the situation and starts cleaning the “dump”. I guess she’s hoping to find a silver lining around every cloud. She better keep smoking cos those are the only clouds enough to bring her sufficient silver to survive Slutty and her annoying croaking!
I am still vying for Slutty to leave and here are my top 5 reasons (amongst others):
• She’s a meanie! (that’s a nicer word than what my instincts were telling me say)
• She never wants to take part in any tasks (she’s quite during 2 and flat out refused to do another…totally unheard of!)…well except bed hopping!
• Her dentist is waiting for her!
• Her forehead misses home!
• I’m tired of her camel toe!
Rock stars of the week: Endemol production team for getting rid of those damn dancers! Ricco for getting over Slutty quicker than her illustrated eyebrow could dry! And Tawana for being such a Domestic Diva! KUDOS!
“L” on the forehead goes to: Goes to TK’s jersey. If the housemates aren’t careful it might win the show….ROTFLMAO!
Anyway, can’t wait Miss Tanzania to leave.
Till next week….
Hallelujah holla back!
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