HEEEEE’S BAAACK!!! Just when you thought it was safe to go blogging ...
OK let’s get this over with right now - I am sorry I did not get to blog last week guys! There, apologies accepted? NO!! OK, how’s this then?
“Please forgive me I know not what I do, please forgive me I can’t stop loving you, don’t deny me this pain I’m going through……” Thank you for that Mr. Adams, I couldn’t have put it better myself. STILL NOT!!?? Ah come on now guys it’s ME, remember? ANYONE???
Seems to me I don’t need to be blogging anymore seeing that we seem to have a tattle tale in our midst, JAX!! Thanks a lot, love ;)
So anyhow, down to business. So Gugu, or Blogzilla as he’s been nicked by Rob, mentioned my four legged friend from last week and promised you all you could read about him on my blog so here’s the story of Foxtrot.
On my way into Jozi last Thursday I came across a black Labrador pup, about a year old, running along the highway at the Empire Road off-ramp - long story short, I managed to get him into my brand new Mahindra where he proceeded to show his appreciation by urinating on my back seat - GOOD BOY!!! Although it was no good for the little guy, I was suddenly glad he was scared shitless.
So he gets a leash and collar fashioned out of my kitbag strap and a temporary name, Foxtrot (my dance for last week remember?) and he gets to meet the entire cast of SCD and spend the day with everyone.
Now I am the proud adoptee of a German Shepherd, an English Bulldog, three cats and an African Grey with a fowl mouth (yes that’s spelt correctly, Harley’s a chicken) so Foxtrot has to be homed elsewhere.
Well no problem there, turns out he’s quite the charmer our hero and pretty soon everyone wants to take him home, including the very lucky Justin, our assistant backstage manager, an impressive young man with a heart of gold who is now the proud adoptee of Foxtrot.
Here’s wishing them both a life of great friendship.
OK, now my stuff. Without getting too stuck in the past let me just say that I was so chuffed with our Foxtrot last week, I heard one or two others complaining that they felt the foxtrot was boring but I loved it, and the song was one of my all time favourites - Ain't that a kick in the head? No really, aint THAT a kick in the head? Never mind ... ;)
I think I’m a little obsessed, I have started to refer to anything before Thursdays as last week; and after as this week - which has my entire family confused but we all know exactly what’s going on don’t we? Well I do anyhow.
Last week started off fairly well with Hayley and I getting stuck into the Samba early on Friday morning at Broadway Dance Studios and even though we were not quite all there after a long hard Thursday, we made fairly good progress – Who the hell am I trying to kid?
It was just as difficult as all the other dances for me to get, the only thing that’s getting easier for me is the fact that I now KNOW it’s bloody difficult and so I don’t get quite as frustrated at my slow progress as I used to, but Hayley persisted and by the time our session was over I’d learned to “bota fogo” and “volta” almost.
We couldn’t train on Saturday because I had a previous engagement to host a strongman competition in Polokwane and had to leave at 5am and only returned late that evening. I am thankful that my guardian angels were watching over me because I actually fell asleep behind the wheel and woke up with the car stalled on the side of the road in 5th gear - my foot must have slipped off of the accelerator and I’d coasted harmlessly to the side of the road. Big up to the Big guy!
We put in a full session on the Sunday and a half session on the Monday due to my shoot schedule for “Getroud met Rugby”(GMR). By then we’d got about half of the choreography down and needed to complete it on Tuesday and lock it off (The lock off for our dances happens on a Tuesday - that means we cannot change anything after that as Dave - the director - plots his camera shots for the live show from the lock off video.) All on track then right?
Yes, until Mister “I can still keep up with the youngsters” goes and tears the inguinal ligament during filming of a rugby training scene for GMR and arrives at dance training battling to put one foot in front of another and ends up heading to the local casualty room while Hayley completes the choreography on her own and locks off the dance. Hear that??? SHE LOCKS OFF THE DANCE AND WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN DO ALL THE STEPS!
It’s at about this point where the panic set in - for everyone involved, Rapid Blue was getting Phone calls from the camera crew “Garth’s in Hospital” I was making phone calls to Jax “I’m in Hospital” I was getting phone calls from the Rapid Blue “You’re in hospital?” etc etc etc.
Fun and games on SCD seemed to be the order of the day.
Got as far as this on Saturday night but it’s now Sunday and I’ve just got back from group gumboot rehearsals, everybody had to be at Randburg Virgin Active by 10am this morning - everybody that is except Hayley and I.
We had to be there an hour early so that we could iron out a couple of Garth-isms in both the Viennese waltz and the gumboot dance. (A Garth-ism is my performance of a dance step that feels the same as what I see Hayley do but actually looks more like what you’d see Quasimodo do if he was on acid.)
So by the time everybody else got there and started to warm up we were in full swing and ready to go. Now as one can imagine, when I have energy and am at full speed it’s kind of difficult to stop without actually running into things (for things, read “other slow moving Strictly contestants or rather their attitudes)
Now for attitudes don’t read “bad attitudes” but rather “ok-now-give-me-half-an-hour-or-so-and-I’ll-wake-up-and-possibly-consider-dancing attitudes” which is fine if you’re all in the same space, HOWEVER ...
Yours truly was NOT in the same space and needed to get things moving which resulted in the odd, how should we put this… um… chastising of poor slumbering souls to “get a bloody move on” or “please guys if you REALLY need to speak could you please go and stand outside so that those of us who need to practice can do so undisturbed?” which in turn got me a couple of choice comments delivered directly to my back as I moved away to continue my rendition of one of the seven dwarves - yes people, my alter ego was doing a perfect GRUMPY.
I have no idea why, maybe it was because I didn’t take my meds in the morning or maybe because I got out of bed on the wrong side or maybe it was because the moon was NOT in the seventh house and Jupiter was misaligned with Mars.
Whatever it was, Garth was the proverbial pain in the posterior this morning and could have done with a swift punt in the stern. Sorry to everyone that had to suffer through that - cast, crew and production alike.
So come lunch time Garth had to take Granite aside, admonish him and send him to his room until he could learn to behave himself - that done, the rest of the day was back to Garth being his normal old chirpy hard working self and all of us managing to get some work done.
We locked off the group dance early and then some of us headed off into Gugu’s back yard at Randburg Raceway for a bit of R and R. I have missed the race track more than I imagined, even just getting into a lawnmower engine go cart was a blast. Note to self: find a new sponsor and go racing again ASAP.
To fill you all in on my health status, I am in great shape as I type this. I am using muscle relaxants and pain killers but I do not believe that I am doing any further damage to my person and the injury is not going to hold me back on the dance floor.
Jackie is one hundred percent correct when she says that I do not make excuses, it is my choice to continue in this competition. I will continue to give my all for as long as you all want me in the competition, which I trust will be all the way to the final.
I am having the time of my life with you guys, thank you for joining couple no 10.
As this week’s dance-off proved, No-one can win this competition without public support; ultimately YOU decide who stays and who goes.
I thank you for finding us worthy.
Garth