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Cleansing rituals

Written by Niece from the blog General life matters on 10 Nov 2008
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I found myself in one of the family gathering yesterday, and this is because it was a cleansing ceremony for my cousin.

Let me first explain what the ceremony is all about, and how it is done in my family.

My cousin’s husband passed away a year ago and she was dressed in “inzila” (sorry I do not now the English word) on the day her husband was buried till it was burnt on Saturday night. The inzilo comes with a lot of rules, like the sun should never set until you reach home, you cannot let other people sit behind you as you will cause them badluck, and have to use a certain dish and cutlery, and most importantly it can only be washed at night and many more which I may not be familiar with.

How the cleansing is done is that her mother/ maternal family has to cleanse her of all “isinyama”, and to do this she needs some herbs that she combines with COLD water and washes her with. After she has been cleansed with the mixture she is not supposed to look back.

In the world that we live how realistic and possible is it to wear one garment for the whole year. Traditionally these used to be either blue or black, but I must admit to have seen some that are a little bit modern. Are these modernised ones even acceptable in other families as a true inzilo is another issue?

But my questions to you out there are these:
-Is it possible, to go to the workplace with the same outfit for the whole year………especially for people that have to deal with clients daily?
-Is this some kind of punishment OR a way for a person to mourn and heal given the fact that it has to be worn for a year, at least?
-Have you known of anyone women, who have had to work and negotiated with their families and in-laws successfully not wear inzilo because of work?
-Do you have any suggestions of how it can be handled?
-What is the best thing to do, when you were never married to the man, but had a child together. Is there a smallanyana cleansing that has to be done?

PS: The fact that my cousin has this ceremony in summer was also another debate in the family, but nonetheless she had hers in November……………which according to the norms is not acceptable, it can only be performed in winter.

95 Comments

Niece
10 Nov 2008 15:34

Talk to me mabloggers, and let me know what you think...................

Niece
10 Nov 2008 15:37

I circulated the article to my non-TVSA friends, and this is what some of them had to say

"I know that when my grandfather passed away, my father refused to shave his head bald because he said that it wouldn’t look professional at the office. So I guess these things have been adapted for modern times. "

"With mourning, I think that one of my aunts, when she was mourning, only wore the garment when she came home from work and on weekends. "

Cande
10 Nov 2008 15:41

pity we dont do this in my family...

awelani
10 Nov 2008 15:42

Yhoo, i have no idea how the cleasing rituals work, and i doubt if it's done in tshivenda, so lemme read what those who know bout it have to say.....

andi01
10 Nov 2008 15:44

Is it possible, to go to the workplace with the same outfit for the whole year………
If ur husband meant a lot to you, a year is nothing, everything is possible if you believe.
especially for people that have to deal with clients daily?
whats more important to u, ur culture or money (nongqawuse!!!!). Other races dont compromise 4 deir culture, why shud we.
-Is this some kind of punishment OR a way for a person to mourn and heal given the fact that it has to be worn for a year, at least?
2 me its to mourn, respect and culture
-Have you known of anyone women, who have had to work and negotiated with their families and in-laws successfully not wear inzilo because of work?
I wud hate to think that people sacrifice their culture to please others (oonongawuse!!!)
-Do you have any suggestions of how it can be handled?
Its the right way or u just dont do it at all
-What is the best thing to do, when you were never married to the man, but had a child together. Is there a smallanyana cleansing that has to be done?
U do de cleansing (with nqwebeba) and wear the black (amaqhosha for a year), yah and shave ur head the day after the funeral.

witty lady
10 Nov 2008 15:46

Haai mina I just want to know gore why is it that women get stuck with black outfits while men just put a little black button on the sleeve of the top they are dressed in?

Toxic
10 Nov 2008 15:48

don't they wear something underneath the black garments that they change daily?

Dimago
10 Nov 2008 15:49

-What is the best thing to do, when you were never married to the man, but had a child together. Is there a smallanyana cleansing that has to be done?
My sister's fiancee (and father of her child) passed away early this year and we had a cleansing ceremony for her. She didn't wear inzilo though. My aunt came all the way from free state to perform ritual. It was in winter, early in the morning and they did it at the bush next to our house...

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 15:49

Eish amasiko can be so complicated at times. Interesting article Nice, dankie san.

andi01
10 Nov 2008 15:53

@Witty lady- its the same reason that women have to carry children for 9 months, while men simple donate the sperm. Its nature my dali.
@Toxic- usually the black garments (comes in 2), when one is wet you were the other. And there is a pity-coat (unondrokhwe undreneath)
@Nonny- they are bcoz you kids nowadays are so westernized, there is nothing complictade with amasiko, of course when u dont want to practice maths u say its complicated, akere amigo

myname
10 Nov 2008 15:55

Eish i wouldnt say more but when my dad passed away, my mom wear that blue outfit for a year. But there is this thing i heard. They said if your partner was sick you wear that outfit for ayear but if it was an accident you wear for 6 months if im not mistaken undilungise

andi01
10 Nov 2008 15:55

"I know that when my grandfather passed away, my father refused to shave his head bald because- angathi uthakathiwe, when things go bad for yena, when the ancestors are angry at him.

Shuga babe
10 Nov 2008 15:56

<<What is the best thing to do, when you were never married to the man, but had a child together. Is there a smallanyana cleansing that has to be done? >>

As far as I'm concern, Not at all gal,*with my tree fingus up* but every family has its own traditions. I lost the father of my baby who was also my fiance *God bless his soul* I never do any cleansing coz we don't do these things in my family. I just mourned with my heart, untill Iwas ready to move on which took me a while thou.

andi01
10 Nov 2008 15:58

If you husband was sick- its black for a year
If its accident or certain church- its blue or gree for a year
if u r divorce but have children- its (the majereman or madakhi) colour for 6 months.
If you fall under the Xhosa (amaqaba clan), its the traditional xhosa outfit for 3 years. white for a year, and dye it yellow afte 18months, and take it off after 3 years.

andi01
10 Nov 2008 15:59

@shuga babe-yiyhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Toxic
10 Nov 2008 16:00

@Toxic- usually the black garments (comes in 2), when one is wet you were the other. And there is a pity-coat (unondrokhwe undreneath)

Hayi ke, ha ke bone bo thata! Wear the damn thing.

Cody
10 Nov 2008 16:01

Hai!!! Talk about inzilo!! So ironic that you had to mention this, some weired things we blacks do. I took my car to service this morning, took a taxi, I sat at the back sit, they told me to go to the front sit because this woman wearing inzilo has to sit eback sit next to the window!! I asked them why, they said it is bad luck for her to sit anywhere else. bathong is this for real or were they bluffing?????

dali
10 Nov 2008 16:03

niece, well intresting article in shangaan we do something similar to this, my grandfather passed away last year July and my grandmother had to wear the same dress for the whole year i guess she is old and didnt mind, i cant help but wonder how someone younger would handle this shoo very heavy

pinkdollar
10 Nov 2008 16:08

hayi mina i just find it unfair that women have to wear black for a whole year. Again it depends on the family you're married to. They might say wear izila for 3-6 months. Its like punishment really that every tom, dick and harry must see that you're a widow. but ke if i were to find myself in that situation i''d have to honour isiko lam even if i have to wear the clothes for 2 years but i still find it unfair and its just one of those things that you cant change you just have to grin and bear with it.

cleve
10 Nov 2008 16:09

I will NOT wear that thing if my husband had to pass away. I will mourn in my heart like shuga babe did. I will do anything that has to do with the ancestors but not that. no one has done it in my fam, so why should I start doing it.

And thank god they don't have that tradition in the Venda culture.

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:09

@Cody-sat at the back sit, they told me to go to the front sit because this woman wearing inzilo has to sit eback sit next to the window!!- the same applies to student-sangomas (abakhwetha abanenkenqe)

Shuga babe
10 Nov 2008 16:12

<<@shuga babe-yiyhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo>>

Yebo Andi01, didn't wear those maqhosha you talking about let alone shaving my hair, I did my hair 2 days before the funeral and I took the fake hair out about a month after the funeral.

My friend told me that I should have broken up with him in the coffin and ask him for another man -What a stupid thing to do, haaibo how can i do that when I was still in love with him.

Niece
10 Nov 2008 16:14

@ andi01, please elaborate on this for me. nongqawuse!!!!. cant get hold of my dad who usually translate all the Xhosa words that I dont understand.

Thanks for all your replies bloggers.

as much as I respect tradition some things are just difficult to adhere to.
Should I get married and the unfortunate happens that my husband passes on, there is no guarantee that I will always be at home before sunset...............

and Cody I have always made sure that I never sit behind a woman who is wearing inzilo, cant tempt faith.

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:14

My friend told me that I should have broken up with him in the coffin and ask him for another man ROTFLMAOL

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:17

Nongqawuse- the person that saw th white people next to the river and quickly went to the location to tell people that he has seen the ancestors and they want them 2 all sell them their cattle. Thats the beginning of the oppression of blacks by white. Thats when they installed in peoples heads that blacks will always be inferior to whites.

Cody
10 Nov 2008 16:20

the same applies to student-sangomas (abakhwetha abanenkenqe)

huu hayi! some things are really unnecessary!!!!

My friend told me that I should have broken up with him in the coffin and ask him for another man

ROTFLMCAO!!!!!! bu ha ha ha!!!

Shuga babe
10 Nov 2008 16:21

hey Andi01, that friend of mine is so funny, but she told me its her tradition to do that he brings bad lick if you didn't breake up with him on the funeral. LOL

Shuga babe
10 Nov 2008 16:23

Bad lick - bad luck. hey my nails are too long they keep on pressing butons they aren't suppose to press.

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:25

but Shuga Babe, if you brake up with him, who will be your fiance when you eventually die and join him in heaven.

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 16:27

My friend told me that I should have broken up with him in the coffin and ask him for another man
ROTFLMCAO!!!!!! bu ha ha ha!!!

U may laugh Cody, but tradition allows that. Our neighbour just hung himself last week. I was LMAO when his father told me he had to hit him with a small shambok when they found his body, even though he was dead, they had to shout at him for killing himself and to also beg him, not to make this a trend in the family. The way I was LMAO, I was like WTF, his dead and sekuphelile, whether u hit him or not, he ain't gonna feel it. But grandpa told me it's tradition and we have to respect it.

Shuga babe
10 Nov 2008 16:29

<<but Shuga Babe, if you brake up with him, who will be your fiance when you eventually die and join him in heaven>>

LMAO @ Andi01, Jesus is my fiance!!

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:29

@Shuga Babe- imagine standing on top of the coffin "ehh my love bengcela sohlukane and please send someone else my way, not someone who is going 2 die he must have a BIG MEMBER and lotsa cash and drive a hummer" ROTFLMAOL.

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 16:29

hey Andi01, that friend of mine is so funny, but she told me its her tradition to do that he brings bad lick if you didn't breake up with him on the funeral. LOL
Yeah we also do that in our tradition, normally that is done if u are a young wife and u know that one day u will find another man. The difference with us is that u don't break up with ur husband, u actually request from him to please allow u to find another man and to not give u bad luck in the men's department, just because he had to leave b4 u.

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 16:30

LMAO @ Andi01, Jesus is my fiance!!
Amen!!!!

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:32

@Nonny- its true sani, u must sjambook him so that the voet voet nonsense of people hanging demselves doesnt happen again. Bcoz we bliv gore when people hang demselves, its the witchcraft, and thats an impundulu hanging de, de really yena is in Gwadana, so if we beat de mpundulu it wont come again to impersonate someone who has been be witched, OK amigo???

Shuga babe
10 Nov 2008 16:32

<<<Our neighbour just hung himself last week. I was LMAO when his father told me he had to hit him with a small shambok when they found his body, even though he was dead>>>

@Nonny, STOP it ntombazane i'm ROTFLMAO kwakwakwakwakwa!!!!!! I've got tears all over my face. had to go to the loo and freshen up my makeup!hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:36

ROTFLMAOL @ Nonny and Shuga Babe- hay this article is yours, you dont seem to amuse me.

Shuga babe
10 Nov 2008 16:37

@Andi01, maybe if i did ask him for a man, he was gonna be jelous and bring Umahlalela a toyota tazz tjo.

myname
10 Nov 2008 16:37

Guys i LMAOL some other things i didnt know huh! I can imagine standwa sam bengicel' indoda efana nawe but ingandishiyi ndodwa yhooo akuzothiwa uyathakatha kaloku sana?

Niece
10 Nov 2008 16:38

Our neighbour just hung himself last week. I was LMAO when his father told me he had to hit him with a small shambok when they found his body,

Nonny, I wanted my friends parents who committed suicide to do this for me, not because of the pain he would have felt or tradition............but I was so angry and thought that hitting the corpse even though would not make him come back, I would feel better. Its like crying to mourn even if tears wont bring back the loved ones..................
I guess it must have been the traditional blood in me sensing that it had to be done, LOL

andi01
10 Nov 2008 16:39

LOL at Shuga babe and myname. Ende wena Nonny before you LOL at adults doing things to protect you, u should ask and obey uyezwa ngthini lapho kuwe. Ngakukhahlela min...........

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 16:51

@Nonny- its true sani, u must sjambook him so that the voet voet nonsense of people hanging demselves doesnt happen again.
hahhahah it's so true and yet so funny!!!

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 16:54

@Andi01, maybe if i did ask him for a man, he was gonna be jelous and bring Umahlalela a toyota tazz tjo.
When u ask for a man I'm sure in the dead guys mind he is thinking: "I'll show this b!tch, I'm not even 6 feet yet and she already wants a man, I'll give one with the smallest totolozi, just to spite her"..........LOL

LOL at Shuga babe and myname. Ende wena Nonny before you LOL at adults doing things to protect you, u should ask and obey uyezwa ngthini lapho kuwe. Ngakukhahlela min...........
hehehehhehe ok ok I'll obey.

belz
10 Nov 2008 16:55

ROFLMAO!!!!!! Nonny, yho azange!!!!

zo
10 Nov 2008 17:03

This amazing thing happened when i was working at a hospital in Northern KZN, we had this unidentified body which stayed in our mortuary for a month so before it was taken off for state burial thia old mama who was a nurse came to talk to the corpse and a mthethisa , the conversation went like " hey wena, mduka!! goduka uyr kini maan, bayakufuna uoku uhleli la. kusho ujwayele ukuhamba ungashongo ekhaya ...." it went on aling these lines. The following day his family came looking for him. COINCIDENCE ???

on inzila though, i suppose if you want to do it its fine but it should not be forced on you. I grew up in the same environment and my family practise these things so I would do it but if you are not comfortable I would say dont do it. But somehow it instills discipline like you are not allowed to go to parties or in any place where there is noise. For me it equates to griefing , giving you time to be by yourself and grief.

andi01
10 Nov 2008 17:03

When u ask for a man I'm sure in the dead guys mind he is thinking: "I'll show this b!tch, I'm not even 6 feet yet and she already wants a man, I'll give one with the smallest totolozi, just to spite her"..........ROTFLMAOL- trust Nonny to put totolozi in every stew she cooks, cocktail she creates and article she responds to

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 17:07

ROTFLMAOL- trust Nonny to put totolozi in every stew she cooks, cocktail she creates and article she responds to.
LOL

Nonny
10 Nov 2008 17:09

" hey wena, mduka!! goduka uyr kini maan, bayakufuna uoku uhleli la. kusho ujwayele ukuhamba ungashongo ekhaya ...." it went on aling these lines. The following day his family came looking for him. COINCIDENCE ???

OMG, that is tradition for u, this is no co-incidence.

LM
10 Nov 2008 17:14

I have just went through a cleansing ceremony myself, last week sunday 02/11, after we buried my father on Saturday 01/11. As a first born, a whole lot of things were done to me during this ceremony and I didn't or don't have a problem with them. The other ceremony will be after three months and the final one after a year.

The only thing I refused to do was to shave my head. My hair is very long so I requested the Gogo to cut a bit on the hair line. What the old woman told me was that she is not gonna force me to shave everything but if my father wants me to shave my head for him then my hair will eventually come off.

Have you known of anyone women, who have had to work and negotiated with their families and in-laws successfully not wear inzilo because of work? Yes and No, see my mother didn't negotiate because she (traditionally)doesn't have a say in this. fortunately my aunt is an umzalwani (also because my mom has to work) so she gave my mom a scarf (doek) to put on her shoulders all the time. When she returns to work in a month's time she will be able to take it off as soon as she gets to work and wear it again when she returns home. Since she was given only one, she will have to buy similar scarves for changing.

Before my father was buried, my mom was wearing a small blanket (Tjale) that covered her body all the time. Even when we went to banks and different insurance houses, my mom never took it off. People looked at her funny but she didn't care. I also didn't understand why she didn't just wrap it around her shoulders but I was scared to ask since she was easily irritable at that time. All I'm saying is that I'm proud of her for following her tradition and culture. If it was me, I don't think I would have been able to do it!

Okay, let me go back and read replies

FK
10 Nov 2008 17:19

Sobza
10 Nov 2008 17:37

Shoo, kunzima mos la nga phandle. I thank God for sending His only begotten Son to die for me.

Ungatshuphinde mntasekhaya. I am the only one who does not practice these family rituals. My family is so into these rituals, u will find my brother efutha ngefrying pan ezigqume with this huge plastic. One day uzosuffocata

Thank God for Jesus Christ

Toxic
10 Nov 2008 17:39

u will find my brother efutha ngefrying pan ezigqume with this huge plastic. One day uzosuffocata

kwa kwa kwa!!!!!!!!!! that was very funny man!!

Firstdvd
11 Nov 2008 07:31

Interesting article NICE, and Andi01 ~ ngigcwala ngawe ;-) one thing i don't get it about traditions: WHY DO WE HAVE TO SWITCH OFF TVs & RADIOs the whole month? I hate dat.

Nonny
11 Nov 2008 07:48

My family is so into these rituals, u will find my brother efutha ngefrying pan ezigqume with this huge plastic. One day uzosuffocata
He won't suffocate coz his body is used to teh rituals.

one thing i don't get it about traditions: WHY DO WE HAVE TO SWITCH OFF TVs & RADIOs the whole month? I hate dat
Firstdvd, it's part of paying our respect in terms of usiko lwethu. Radio & TV are seen as celebratory things, so ngesikhathi uzilile akufanele ngabe uyazijabulisa. Same goes for sex *sorry Andi01, it's the only ezample I could think of.......LOL*, u need to not take part in it, otherwise uzodludla, uyozizwa usufuna ukunywaywa noma sekungekho isidingo. Tradition must be respected guys, no matter how modernised we get, we cannot change who we are and what we believe in, just becoz of modern day society!!!!

Best-Achiever
11 Nov 2008 07:52

WHY DO WE HAVE TO SWITCH OFF TVs & RADIOs the whole month? I hate dat

LOL Firstdvd and it is true but at home it is not for the whole month, only from the time you hear of the passing away of the family member until 2 days after burrial

But for my uncle it was different, we were encouraged to Listen to Ukhozi FM since he was something there and people were phoning saying all sort of good things about him..... i have never cried like that in my life for the whole week, finally when the day of burial comes we cried but no tears were coming out of our eyes.

TheLady
11 Nov 2008 08:10

When my dad passed away we followed tradition to the T-started with my mom being gqunwad with a blanket in summer nogal...and worse the man died on Friday-it was a week long wait. And we had new years eve in between.

After the funeral my mom was suppose to wear the black dress for a year (she had abut 4 outfits-she washed them at night.She only wore it for about 7 months though-because my grandmother was ill and she went to a sangoma who said 'there's a daughter-in-law of yours that's wearing inzilo, you need to cleanse her now and then you'll get better.'

Apparently my grandmother was making it a year just to spite my mom LOL.

I know that nurses negotiate with the family-they only wear the uniform when they are not at work

Nonny
11 Nov 2008 08:10

LOL Firstdvd and it is true but at home it is not for the whole month, only from the time you hear of the passing away of the family member until 2 days after burrial
Thina BA, we have the TV off, from the time the family member died till the day of the funeral. Then the day after we have the TV & radio back on. The same applies for wearing pants, we wear skirts until after the burial.

But for my uncle it was different, we were encouraged to Listen to Ukhozi FM since he was something there and people were phoning saying all sort of good things about him.....
heheheheh ur uncle was wrong BA, it doesn't matter if it was Nelson Mandela sending all the msg's of condolences, but the radio had to be off.

Nonny
11 Nov 2008 08:14

I know that nurses negotiate with the family-they only wear the uniform when they are not at work
Tue TheLady, but ke this doesn't only apply to nurses, but to anyone who has to wear a uniform to work.

Cande
11 Nov 2008 08:19

Hey i guess its true what they say about Tswana people, that they have lost their tradition..
I have never experienced all this thngs you talking about

Firstdvd
11 Nov 2008 08:27

BA & NONNY dankie! I do respect my culture. When i lost my two sisters 3yrs ago, i was told to do dat and guess what? I used to close the doors, windows and curtains and switch on iTV...Anything bad dats gonna happen to me down the line?

Best-Achiever
11 Nov 2008 08:29

heheheheh ur uncle was wrong BA, it doesn't matter if it was Nelson Mandela sending all the msg's of condolences, but the radio had to be off.

LOL Nonny ... hiscollegues encouraged that we listen to everything that is said about him so we can cry as much as we want to,it helps a lot. we didnt listen to radio at his home though but at my aunt's

wealso dont wear trousers

TheLady
11 Nov 2008 08:30

Nonny I can understand a bank teller, but a waitress enenzila-oh hell no...those are the people to really negotiate.

When I was in Dbn-I shared a flat with some lady from GP-she had been lobolad by some dude from Mpumalanga, the guy unfortunately passed away-she was seeing some guy on the side in Dbn-with her nzilo and all (LOL) she moved in with her new man...they worked at the same office, they drove to and from work together, shared everything. 3 months later she had the ceremeny, new bf bought her a dress... a couple of weeks later he started beating the hell out of her.

I remember one time he tried throwing her off the balcony in my presence.

Nonny
11 Nov 2008 08:31

When i lost my two sisters 3yrs ago, i was told to do dat and guess what? I used to close the doors, windows and curtains and switch on iTV...Anything bad dats gonna happen to me down the line?
Don't worry Firstdvd, nothing bad is going to happen, but at the end of the day wena uyazi that tradition means nothing to u coz u don't follow it. I mean is TV that important to u, that u can't sacrifice a week without it???

Shuga babe
11 Nov 2008 08:33

<<WHY DO WE HAVE TO SWITCH OFF TVs & RADIOs the whole month?>>

in my family we don't do that, but i think its a cool thing to do. Look at Mama Africa she all over the TV and Radios laughing, singing and talking as if she's still alive. that makes her family miss her even more than ever.

Nonny
11 Nov 2008 08:34

When I was in Dbn-I shared a flat with some lady from GP-she had been lobolad by some dude from Mpumalanga, the guy unfortunately passed away-she was seeing some guy on the side in Dbn-with her nzilo and all (LOL) she moved in with her new man...they worked at the same office, they drove to and from work together, shared everything. 3 months later she had the ceremeny, new bf bought her a dress... a couple of weeks later he started beating the hell out of her.
I remember one time he tried throwing her off the balcony in my presence.

OMG, hectic stuff TheLady. But ke understand if u feba with inzila, amabhadi are bound to follow u, I'm sure namanje usistaz uyabamba uyayeka and akulungi lutho???

Best-Achiever
11 Nov 2008 08:37

Hectic... the Lady

tracy
11 Nov 2008 08:44

What if you where seeing that person before he died, does it mean you have to wait till after inzila,
they is a woman back home who got pregnant while still wearing the black clothes

Firstdvd
11 Nov 2008 08:44

4weeks nonny...that's too much. i know dat was wrong...but ja neh

Niece
11 Nov 2008 08:47

Shoo, kunzima mos la nga phandle. I thank God for sending His only begotten Son to die for me. I am also glad for my family that raised me in this religion where amasiko are not being followed instead the 10 comandments guide us in our daily lives. And what I like about these comandments, they are not complicated at all.

FK, there is a difference between tradition and religion. Then our kids will be telling us that is un-Christian to speak any of our local languages, as only English will be the Christian language if we carry on to neglect our cultures and claim that it is against our religion whereas we are busy adopting western ways.

PrettyPree
11 Nov 2008 08:48

Hey i guess its true what they say about Tswana people, that they have lost their tradition..
I reckon dat we lucky Cande. For me dis is hectic man!!!!

extinct
11 Nov 2008 08:51

My uncle past away at the age of 28 and his wife was just a mere 23year old with a son and workin in the corporade world and the family did all the traditions but allowed her to go back to work but she had to wear suits but only blak ones and a doek after a year then the cleansin my grand ma told her to go out and find a father to raise the child since she was young ......... Bout me after both my parents died they expected us to do all those traditional things like go and ask for guidance and ask for shelter and to protect us but hell no Jesus came to do all that and he's my shield and my strength a dead person is just that dead their part in our world is over there's nothin they can do if they couldn't save themselve what more can they do for me Jesus is the only way

Nonny
11 Nov 2008 08:56

they is a woman back home who got pregnant while still wearing the black clothes
OMG This is plain gomora and sodoma, she was being davazad while ezilile??? sies man!!!!

FK, there is a difference between tradition and religion. Then our kids will be telling us that is un-Christian to speak any of our local languages, as only English will be the Christian language if we carry on to neglect our cultures and claim that it is against our religion whereas we are busy adopting western ways.
Amen, now that is ivangeli.

FK
11 Nov 2008 09:03

Niece, my parents never told their parents that it was unChristian to speak african languages. My mom is Swazi and she is still fluent in siSwati. My dad (passed away) was Tswana and also fluent in his language. We were went to boarding schools in Lesotho, and we speak Zulu, Tswana and seSotho. My daughter goes to a private school and we have our evening prayers in seSotho.

In my opinion Religion is the belief and tradition is the behaviour and I chose the Christian tradition. I am not worried about the consequences of not following "your tradition" as God is omnipresent—everywhere at once, God is omnipotent—all powerful and God is omniscient—He knows everything

Cody
11 Nov 2008 09:04

Jo TheLady!!!! that is hectic!!!

Shuga babe
11 Nov 2008 09:15

@TheLady, Its so hard to move on even after a year. let alone while wearing Inzilo. he should have thrown hero ff the balcony . nx sikhebereshe!!.

Cody
11 Nov 2008 09:26

Hai, i was talking about this article and my colleauge, she told me that if you are twins, should one twin die, you have to sleep in the coffin, they close it and talk,before they put the corps in the coffin, (what if the coffin doesnt want to open????)then before they put the coffin in the grave you have to go into the grave first. otherwise the twin brother or sister will come and fetch you.

The funniest one i have heard so far is that, if you are born after a dead sister or brother, you are called a dog, your name should be, Ntja (dog), Mokoto (errr...) Ntjantja (dogdog)...........ROLFMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! so ya guys im a dog y'all!!!!

belz
11 Nov 2008 09:28

u will find my brother efutha ngefrying pan ezigqume with this huge plastic. One day uzosuffocata> LMAO!!!!! yho.

Hecticness!!! yho its blogs galore today!!!

Shuga babe
11 Nov 2008 09:31

<<The funniest one i have heard so far is that, if you are born after a dead sister or brother, you are called a dog, your name should be, Ntja (dog), Mokoto (errr...) Ntjantja (dogdog)...........ROLFMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! so ya guys im a dog y'all!!!!>>

@Cody, hahahahahah!!!!!!! kwakwakwakwakwa!!! yoyoyoyoy!!

maddie
11 Nov 2008 09:34

Hey i guess its true what they say about Tswana people, that they have lost their tradition

I don't think it's about that, it's all about what you believe in.

if you believe that curses will follow u if u don't do the rituals, that's exactly what will happen. if you dont then nothing will happen, it's all about belief.

mina I just think that iculture yethu can be so oppressive to women sometimes.

Firstdvd
11 Nov 2008 09:34

lol @ CODY...what if the other twin enjoyed the others company inside the coffin? Don't you think shim might come back lol!

TheLady
11 Nov 2008 09:39

yip Cody..one twin lies in the coffin before the dead one.

TheLady
11 Nov 2008 09:41

Firstdvd-it's before the corpse is put inbthe coffin...not together.

belz
11 Nov 2008 09:41

ROFLMAO @ Cody and Shugababe, lol skhebereshe, kwakwakwa!!!!!!!!!

Cande
11 Nov 2008 09:43

she told me that if you are twins, should one twin die, you have to sleep in the coffin, they close it and talk,before they put the corps in the coffin, (what if the coffin doesnt want to open????)then before they put the coffin in the grave you have to go into the grave first. otherwise the twin brother or sister will come and fetch you
I heard this one 2, and my mother has a twin sister EISH

but then again, like i said i have never seen ti happen in my family..
My father passed away last yr August, my mother never wore any blanket/ any black clothes or blue or whatsoever..they never had any cleansing ceremony or any other ceremony..We could listen to the radio, watch TV and alless

The funniest one i have heard so far is that, if you are born after a dead sister or brother, you are called a dog, your name should be, Ntja (dog), Mokoto (errr...) Ntjantja
My brother was born after a dead sister, but NAh nothing like that for him

Centrepiece
11 Nov 2008 09:46

@ Cody.................. i actually saw it happen, my aunt is a twin to my late aunt, everything that you said they did to my surviving aunt, and the worse part is she fainted in the morning of the funeral and she didn't fully wake up until late afternoon, my uncles had to carry her everytime they were doing these rituals, it was so scary like she too was dead!! Tjooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Cande
11 Nov 2008 09:48

Sacry stuff Centrepiece..IYHOOO

Strolicious
11 Nov 2008 10:07

I do blv in amasiko.........but what u saying guyz it hectic........theLady dat woman wenzilo unokiroyi woku qala wokugcina,naloyo baba owayemudla ezilile..uyisifebe sendoda....

Reggie
11 Nov 2008 10:12

HAY ke, i've knocked on a wrong door. i dnt lie such things as cleansing rituals and amadlozi. i dnt even believe dat they exist!

Shuga babe
11 Nov 2008 10:12

LMAO@ Strolicious, "unokiroyi" HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

Shuga babe
11 Nov 2008 10:16

You guys always make my day, I'm so houred to be a TVSA Blogger.
I'm so learning things that I didn't know. its so good to be here, Love you so much guys.!!!!

belz
11 Nov 2008 10:16

LOL Stro!!! tripple kwa!!!

GML
11 Nov 2008 13:23

We dont do it in my family but my fiance's family does it. Luckily my Fiance's mom doesnt believe in these things.

When my fiance's Father passed away, his mom was asked to wear those clothes ( which were brown), but she only had a scarf around her neck that's all.

And when she was cleansed she got new clothes and so on.

I think it should be done in such a way that it does not degrade a woman because men dont have to go through all of that.

Besides, when wearing those clothes it's like you're holding on to the pain of loosing your loved one

GML
11 Nov 2008 13:32

I wouldnt WEAR it. My fiance refused when they forced his mother to wear the clothes. Why would they force me to wear something that they know my fiance hates????? I will ask then " DO you think ukhuthi he will approve of you guys forcng me to wear it when he hated it so much?"

They will not dare it. ohterwise i will tell them that they are not honouring his wishes

PrettyPree
11 Nov 2008 13:41

Besides, when wearing those clothes it's like you're holding on to the pain of loosing your loved one

Agree!!!!! I mean wen do u let go?????

Noma07
27 Jun 2018 10:44

I know this was long time ago, but trust me when i went through the comments, I was laughing my lungs out, crying tears...yhu guys ay you've made my night stru

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