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What would you do?

Written by nice from the blog Life matters with Nice on 26 Feb 2009
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You are at home one evening and get a buzz from an acquaintance at a gate, and you casually let him in. When you go out to meet him, you can see that he is in distress but you don’t know why. 

Without wasting any time, he tells you that he and his family need a roof over their head for a week, as they have been evicted from a place they used to stay in and they can only move into a new place a week later. Thinking this is a joke; you go towards his car and can see that his wife, children and their baggage – probably clothes, are in the car. 

You have asked all the relevant questions, and you don’t have a reason not to believe that he is not telling the truth. And they do not have money to book into a hotel, which is why he came to you for help. 

Your husband is not around, so you can’t discuss with him what to do and it is getting late. 

Right at that moment when he is looking at you and the kids and wife’s eyes are screaming at you to help, what will you do?



30 Comments

nice
26 Feb 2009 11:27

A friend of mine turned them away, as she felt she could not trust him. She however suggested that they go to a mutual friend - who unfortunately is out of the country- so the guy and his kids slept in the car for one night.

She called her church as she knows that they have a shelter for stranded families, but as it was after 6pm they could not take him in on that night, and they suggested that he must come the next day and have promised to help the man especially since he has children.

She has not heard from him since, and she has not called the social workers at the shelter.

sjura
26 Feb 2009 11:30

this is a very sad story..

Ms. Jay
26 Feb 2009 11:31

I would have let them stay the night coz of the kids and helped them out the next day to try and find accomodation-did they not get a notice to vacate earlier or something?

nice
26 Feb 2009 11:39

As she was relaying to me, I thought of what I would do and my first insticts was telling me to let them stay in a spare room. 

But she raised valid facts, that she did not completely trust him, her husband and kids may have not been too happy with her just deciding to impose people in their space, how would she feed them and I realised it was a sad story and a bit of a dilemma. 

So just let me know what's a man to do in such instances?

andi01
26 Feb 2009 11:41

Iwoul dpray for guidance, its hard to trust people out nowadays,

GML
26 Feb 2009 11:46

I would take the kids in and let the parents find another plan- they can collect kinds in the morning- does the wife not have friends? What about family, best friends etc...

Ms. Jay
26 Feb 2009 11:54

that man did not know when they would be evicted? surely there is a law that would have protected him in this instance.....

TheLady
26 Feb 2009 13:24

All I know is that he was not gonna sleep at my place...

Cande
26 Feb 2009 14:17

what about family??? haiye ngek

Pooky
26 Feb 2009 14:21

i would have let them stay  especially with kids involved, even if they had to sleep in the dining room, as long as they had a roof over their heads

myname
26 Feb 2009 14:24

I will tell them 2 go to Police station or Church.....

awelani
26 Feb 2009 14:24

Y cudnt they go to the police station??

mathata
26 Feb 2009 14:31

i will  let them stay for a night,nexday they must FOKOF.

i will try to rent somewhere for them , where i can pay R200 a day for a month.

OR they can sell their car to me,anything they have they must sell it.

people they must bear in mind dont spend to impress

im sure the father was wearing DIESEL jean.

myname
26 Feb 2009 14:32

Dear i trust no one esp lapha eGoli. People can target ama opportunity. Who knows i will wake up with nothing in myhouse. 

Eish i blame the crooks coz now even if they r innocent or they r pure as Valpre water, i dont think i will let any1 to sleep

Or ke i will b their mantshingilane  for 1 nite otherwise the next day ixoxo nexoxo liyazigxumela joe.

TheLady
26 Feb 2009 14:38

Mathata-R200 a day for a month...woman, can you be my best friend pretty please-I'll take R100 a day for 3 months...better yet yilethe yonke!

Iseriously need a new job!

ngwana
26 Feb 2009 14:39

Can you imagine what it took for the guy to come and ask for help?
if he was alone, i would understand her reaction, but he had his children with him.

He really must have felt like *bleep!* after she said no. Having to make his kids sleep in the car.

ms.tebby
26 Feb 2009 14:44

I have  problem of trusting people too much (God Bless me) - I would allow them to stay.!

nice
26 Feb 2009 14:45

What about family, best friends etc...

GML he is originally from Durban, so his family is not around Joburg. I dont know about his best friends though.

Y cudnt they go to the police station?? 
I am not sure if the SAPS will keep people for that long until they move into their new place, but this is something I have never thought of and like I said with the church she called they only consider if you call them before six.

that man did not know when they would be evicted?
asked about this from a friend, but the answer I got was not making sense.


Luksta
26 Feb 2009 14:51

I would book a B&B or something for them. But I would have to keep some of their stuff to recover my money(in case they don't pay me).
To accommodate them in ma house for a week would be a disaster. Tjo!

mathata
26 Feb 2009 14:56

@the lady,is better to GIVE than risking with your family.

nowadays people are bitter,WHAT if his wife (go to bed) with my hubby,n they endup saying is RAPE? n they want money to drop charges.

Sort of BABY Jake story,

we need to help,But dont forget you deal with people,

mjj
26 Feb 2009 15:33

i would show them the next police station......Police might help people in such situations....unless of course you stay in a mansion...you can welcome them to your home

Foxxy
26 Feb 2009 20:46

Don't think police would help. They'd probably tell you you're lucky you have a car. Anyway, i say tell them you only have space for kids, if they trust you they can leave their kids with you.

sponono
26 Feb 2009 22:04

cant believe MOSt of you would NOt help a man with CHILDREN AND WIFE...I would understand if he was alone...and IF your husband was going to be back later...why NOT..
what I would advise my sita if she found herslef in that situation, first if she has a spare room, she could have them use it and lock herslef in her bedroom if she's afraid...but I wouldnt advice her to refuse them a place to sleep just for the nite...what if something happened to THEM while they are sleeping in the car and you had decided that they mite do you harm when they are supposedly your ACQUINTANCES  ....i know it takes some time to call someone a friend but I wonder if the author of this article suddenly saw this person as an acquintance MORE when he showed up but nevertheless she still could have taken him in..coz I think the presence of wife and kids was a sign of a man who was doing everythin he can for the family, maybe she could have told him to SLEEP IN THE CAR WHILE the wife and kids slept inside if she was feeling so UNSAFE....whether its Joburg or DBN there is no safe place, but there is compassion and GOd  everywhere, you just have to have faith 
anyways we have different views i guess

Lady D
26 Feb 2009 22:44

Nna being the person that i am,i would have never thought abvout safety or my husband at that point,i would have accomodated them nad shared whatever i have with them till they go to their nesw place.We spend so much money on bopze,entertainment and things we do need really need,why npt for once give.I have given people i dont know sleep in my house and a lodda people think im being stupid,but if helping a human being reduces me to an idiot,i then choose to be one.Should i die doing good,trust me i will die a peacefull death,even if im killed by the same person i helped,My God will know i was only doing His will.I WILL ALWAYS HELP OUT,NO MATTER WHAT,THAT'S MY NATURE!!!

mathata
26 Feb 2009 23:02

iyoo.

Firstdvd
26 Feb 2009 23:14

If you staying with your husband ONLY, ja its fine. Let them in, but just for that day qha!

Heartsbreaker
26 Feb 2009 23:30

i will let them stay for the whole week,on  condition that the husband will do the garden,the children will  feed my puppy and wash him.everyday.......as for the wife  will have to be usefull in the kitchen and make sure the house is clean everyday.........

Why don't they drive to the nearest relative?or they don't have money for petrol also?Tjo!

mathata
26 Feb 2009 23:41

@heartB,no no no,kwa kwa your conditions,haibo i dont want to see kids feed your puppy.

husband doing  garden with designer shoes kwa kwa kwa kwa.

Firstdvd
26 Feb 2009 23:46

@HB~~they're from DBN...Whats gonna happen the following as I'll be @ work?

Heartsbreaker
27 Feb 2009 16:22

@mathata....Ok i'll let them stay one nite and the following day help them organise an auction for their stuff (including those designer shoes) to accumulate some money for them to survive/book a hotel room. otherwise they can become street kids 4 one week.


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