Today's most talked about book whenever the topic of "relationships" comes up, is Steve Harvey's "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man."I've just received the book so I'm about to starting reading....the encouraging thing is that the excerpts I've read so far are quite interesting and seem practical enough.
Some of the Chapters in the book that I'm looking foward to reading are :
- Men Respect Standards, Get some
- The 90 Day Rule - Getting The Respect You Deserve
(I think Steve meant to say 90 minutes......90 days??)
- Why Men Cheat
- Distinguish between Marrying Types & The Play Things
- Our Love Isn't Like Your Love
(Should be interesting, coz we always expect men to love us the way we love them)
- We Need To Talk and Other Words That Make Men Run For Cover
- What Drives Men
Here are two interesting reader reviews I read from barnesandnoble.com :
Positive:
This book was real. It wasn't sugar-coated. It was straight to the point and directed at the reader. Simply stated, it was Steve in written format. It confirmed that my speculations, sometimes called paranoia, were on point. It was refreshing to hear this from a man, a real man, who cares enough to help us women out because, frankly, some of us really need it. For those of us who didn't have active fathers or big brothers, to educate us, this book will do it no matter what age you are. It is cut and dry, very simple to understand, and should not leave you with any question or confusion. Personally, I thought Steve will catch alot of flack from men, but if they are real men, that actually care about women and the state of relationships today, I believe they will support him. This is a great read, you can't go wrong, and if you start to slip go back and read it again!
Negative:
Okay.. so there is validity to the information Steve says about men being very simplistic, the three P's as he refers... If women have low self esteem and have no requirements for how men treat them and no expectations of their dates then maybe this could be a useful read for them. Women definitely need to limit the crap they put up with and scratch men off their potential list if men can't raise the bar. Steve suggest why would you want this man if he cannot show he's "all in", but really, it does not drive home to women they are worth more than the man who's not "all in". The Book "He's Just Not That Into You" is far better with all of this! After my laughing through the first 55 pages of obvious anecdotes about men and how they think (women get a clue) the next 172 pages felt like Steve writing an excuse and justification for why he once cheated on his wife.. This book contradicts itself so many time it's head shakeable, suggesting one thing and then suggesting it again completely different. I know Steve has come across all kinds of people in his line of work but perhaps his cushioned lifestyle that he's had these many years now has given him a false sense of what real dating these days is like. The language it's written in is so elementary it will not challenge your vocabulary at all. The book, if you can get it 2nd hand for a few bucks is worth a read, dropping $25 to read 225 pages of excuses for an affair is not worth the money. .
Steve has been on OPRAH, TYRA as well as ELLEN DEGENERES to talk about the book. I missed the Oprah episode last week and I'm unable to view the videos on oprah.com so here's his interview on Tyra's show if you are interested!
Here's Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3! If you aren't gonna read the book, watch these!!
Some of the things he says...
Man with a plan Another thing women need to understand, according to Harvey, is that every man has a plan. "Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan," he says. "We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted."
When a man approaches a woman, Harvey says, he already knows what we wants from her, but he doesn't know what it will cost. "How much time do you want from me? What your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to," he says. "The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high."
Gone fishin' Harvey says men are like fishermen -- but women are actually the ones looking for a good catch. You won't be able to find one, though, until you up your standards. "You've got sports fishermen, and you've got guys out there fishing to eat. You've got guys that are fishing to keep the fish, and you've got guys that are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back," Harvey says.
"You've got to determine along the way which one of the fish you're going to be." Without ironclad standards, Harvey says you'll always end up back in the dating pool.
"You've got to quit lowering your standards," he says. "Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business."
And
don't let the man set the pace of the relationship -- Harvey says it's always the woman who has total control. "With all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish this power just because you want a guy to accept you? That's stupid," he says. "Say: 'Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me.'"
Turn off the textSocial networking Web sites and text messages can be a great way to keep in touch with friends, but Harvey says it's not the best way to date. "You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship," he says. "We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all.' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody."
If you want the relationship to be more, take it face-to-face. "Women talk about [how] chivalry's dead. Chivalry's not dead -- it's just not required anymore," he says. "You've got to get a guy in your face. Look in his eyes. ... God has given you all this incredible thing called intuition. You've got to use that."
Phew....am off to read, will let you know what I think!!