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TO F#$! OR NOT TO F#$! WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME?

Written by Venusseed from the blog TO F#$! OR NOT TO F#$! WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME? on 17 May 2009
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Is there a rule somewhere that states the right time to shag someone you really like?

Well I know the Bible says sex before marriage is a sin but hey let us talk about what we are really experiencing now. Why I bring this up is because there is a notion that guys meet girls to get laid and girls get laid to get guys. This issue has been going on ever since we were teenagers. Teenage girls will feel pressured to give up their innocence in order to keep the guys in relationships with them. The sad thing is that the guys will then leave them or cheat on them.

Does this change with age? Do grown men stay in relationships no matter when they get into bed with their female counterparts? I stand to be corrected but I don’t think so. Will you let a moment OR an opportunity of passionate lovemaking, multiple orgasms and Kamasutra positions pass you by because you feel it is too soon? Do you believe it is best to build up the anticipation by taking it slow and get to know him better before you introduce him to your treasure island? What happens once you have created this bond between you two and then comes the special moment of taking the relationship to the next level only to realize the two of you are sexually incompatible? 
                               
                            FIRST DATE?

It is said that men are hunters and like to chase after what they can’t get. Apparently if something comes too easily to them they loose interest too quickly. If a woman gives up too soon the man will think that she does that with all men. On the contrary if the woman plays hard to get and takes longer to give him what he wants, once he gets her he feels victorious and get to appreciate her more. 

This is all kak. It does not really matter when a woman gives it up. Whether you sleep with a man on the first date or after the twelfth date, if he is not into you he is not into you. The woman can be a sex goddess on the first night and instead of being appreciated for bending and twisting in different ways she will be judged by the lucky bugger. She can also decide to keep her lock on her panties for months and months and finally unlock it for the guy she feels deserves her and then suddenly something from the guy’s past comes up. He  then has an excuse to break up with her.

This boils down to one question again. When is the right time to f#*! the guy you like. I am not talking about the one you met at a club when you were highly intoxicated. That one is not worth it because chances are you are not even going to remember or experience the orgasms you had that drunken night. I am talking about the guy who makes your heart skip a bit. The guy you kind of pictured cooking with or doing something together. Well men take time to picture you that way. They tend to spend 100% of the time thinking about getting laid before they picture you in a white dress.

Ladies when do you think is the right time to give it up? Do you give it up for love or just pleasure? Guys does it really matter when and why does she give it up? 

                                 



80 Comments

Lela
18 May 2009 00:36

Well I know the Bible says sex before marriage is a sin........that is why I will only give it up when I'm married, if a man loves me he will wait........

Toodecent
18 May 2009 09:13

Ehehehehee this takes me back to a dear friend of mine and he does it week in and week out. The dude meets a chick while we together in the morning and around noon he is on top of her and i still wonder how he does it cause ke flopo nje... Anyway it doesnt really matter whether you fcked on a first, second or 19th date and not giving it up easily is a good thing too so it really doesnt matter.

dali
18 May 2009 09:28

Well I know the Bible says sex before marriage is a sin........that is why I will only give it up when I'm married, if a man loves me he will wait.............. lela i thot i was the only virgin around here im also gonna give it up when im married!

ms.tebby
18 May 2009 09:34

LOL,<<<dear friend of mine and he does it week in and week out.>>> I know someone like that & he is always making noise in the corridoors about & he just irks the hell out of me by that...for him maybe you should replace " week "with "day"
LOL,TDC pls dont use '19th' is my birth date so it always attracts my eye no matter what!

JadaPinkett
18 May 2009 09:36

Hello TDC where were u my dear

Kakapana
18 May 2009 09:48

interesting topic....i'm 23 and still haven't given it up. yes, it is difficult to hold back or control yourself when you're in that moment, especially once you think you have found someone that you're compatible with, in every way. 
BUT once i've taken a decision i always stick to it, and i decided years ago that i will only lose mine once i get married.

Toodecent
18 May 2009 09:57

Hi..JP.. was staying away from politics...
ms.tebby well this friend of mine is record breaker, he can do up to 4 chicks in 1 day and dont ask me how cause I dont know. Well he has done 4 in a day 5 times I think... that dude ona le nawa, even we chilling you'll hear him saying " ko ja mang after di beer tse" I think he has 50 + chicks and gets em daily.

Katlegom
18 May 2009 09:57

this is a tricky one, if she gives it to you real soon , then she is bitch, she does that to ecery man she meets. then  on the flipside if she doesnt give it to you 3 months after you've met you move on bucasue you cant get nothing.

but hey, when the opportunity comes, use it black brotha.
i dont play gentleman!

Kakapana, are you a he or she?

Katlegom
18 May 2009 10:02

I also have a friend woh's got what we can 'killa instinct'
he meets a chikita today and she kills her the same afternoon

Toodecent
18 May 2009 10:07

this is a tricky one, if she gives it to you real soon , then she is bitch>>>>>  Just wana say there is nothing like that, maybe in the 90's u 'd be called a bitch..... people just shagg and enjoy it even when they not dating but cause it felt right and good at the time...that doesnt mean they bitches.

dali
18 May 2009 10:11

LOL katlego 3 months is too soon...... my 1st boyfrend en i broke cause i couldnt give it up so he decided to cheat en i showed him the door....

Katlegom
18 May 2009 10:17

3 months is too soon???
noooooo dali
even one month is very late.

there is no why do we have to be controlled by time period? it should just happen anytime, when the time is right.

some chikita was always telling that she wants it to be special when shag, but guess what when that day came, ther was nothing special about it, everything was just horrible, men will understand what Im on about

myname
18 May 2009 10:25

There is NO right time darling....

When u ready & want  it NIKE (just do it)

Eish stay like that Kakapana otherwise....One prick & its gone & u got addicted LOL

JadaPinkett
18 May 2009 10:27

Ha ha waiting for marriage..............ay soke sibone nanka amehlo............ungazo dlala ngathi lawena.........u know exactly how it feels to hav sex u jst palying around.
Ladies when do you think is the right time to give it up?......The right tym is when u feel ready for having sex with sunone u love it's doesn't matter if u not married but u better be sure that u love him so much.

zozoe
18 May 2009 10:42

<<She can also decide to keep her lock on her panties for months and months and finally unlock it for the guy she feels deserves her and then suddenly something from the guy’s past comes up>>......................... i think the best time to give in is when married coz you wont have the stress of him leaving you .

tha - bang
18 May 2009 10:44

i say wait for marriage.its old fashioned, true but at least you will know the person has only been with you and is not comparing u to three or five other people. or that u are sharing this initimate moment with the person ,who has already shared it with other people. think being sexually intimate with only one person has itsown joys and pleasures that superceed that of playing the field

Toodecent
18 May 2009 10:44

i think the best time to give in is when married coz you wont have the stress of him leaving you .>>> O serious?

myname
18 May 2009 10:46

LOL TDC u already late ngwana hihihi

Lex
18 May 2009 10:50

@ TDC - " ko ja mang after di beer tse", iyoo chomi ya gago is something else I tell you.Poor girls...

Lex
18 May 2009 11:03

@ zozoe - ....................... i think the best time to give in is when married coz you wont have the stress of him leaving you .  come on now,who says he wont leave coz u are married?

dali
18 May 2009 11:20

fo me if he loves me he'll wait fo me en if he leaves there's always the next train!

When u ready & want it NIKE (just do it) ......... LMAO myname

katlego patience pls as fo that chikita i say both of u r to blame fo whatever went wrong u were in it together.....

Best-Achiever
18 May 2009 11:25

if he loves me he'll wait fo me and if he leaves then i know he doesnt have anything to brang about.

myname
18 May 2009 11:27

I just got this email & i thought i should share with u...

Dear South Africans

Many innocent men are jailed after being accused of rape. To avoid being accused of rape (if she has consented) the criminal system has proposed that there be a consent form to be signed by the woman before sexual intercourse. This will protect men from being accused of rape whereas a woman has consented and later regrets and decide to lay rape charges. To all men, have this form in hand when you visit women (whether your fiancé or not). You may print copies for your use.

Ladies cooperate and sign the form.

Thank You.. 


I wish i can also copy the form but its a PDF

Toodecent
18 May 2009 11:32

Myname...the form is that one that says something like " I the srewee delcare I ....." "signed at .........."   ?

Best-Achiever
18 May 2009 11:32

kwa kwa kwa kwa ...myname

Cande
18 May 2009 11:41

and you get people like TDC's s friend who think they are the SH!T only to find out they are wack down there. Why would you wanna sleep with 4 people in 1 day?? I DISLIKE men who operate like that, that behaviour should not be condoned in this days of HIV/AIDS..NXA!!!

Green.arrow
18 May 2009 11:41

...... my 1st boyfrend en i broke cause i couldnt give it up so he decided to cheat en i showed him the door....
....good 4 u dali.....nothing more -none less....

Mathaz
18 May 2009 11:43

I slept with my husband on our first date and i did not think that i was cheap.  All those who are waiting for marrige, good for you.  Best decision one could make.

dali
18 May 2009 11:49

en evrytime he sees me he just wonders what it wud have been like! 

i agree with u cande!

Katlegom
18 May 2009 11:55

and you get people like TDC's s friend who think they are the SH!T only to find out they are wack down there. Why would you wanna sleep with 4 people in 1 day?? I DISLIKE men who operate like that, that behaviour should not be condoned in this days of HIV/AIDS..NXA!!!

sleeping around does not translate to HIV/AIDS 
one can sleep with 15 different people in a year, and one sleep with one person or sometime no sex at all in a year but after 10 years you find out that the person who hardly sleeps around is the one who has HIV/AIDS

there is condoms out there, everybody knows that! 

faraimagic
18 May 2009 11:56

Ok this looks interesting let me read this!

Green.arrow
18 May 2009 11:58

..the scripture in revelations is all over my head...says "..and they overcame him and the word f their testimony, and by the blood of the lamb.."

I am soo very encouraged by the guys who waited (Mathaz and co.) till they married and those waiting (Dali and co. ) till marriage....bcos in our own little worlds, its very rare and pple call u names and 4 sum its so discouraging they yield .....but on a bigger scale its encouraging to know ur not a freak, ur not alone...halala internet halala...
Its unfortunate there sumone out there feeling alone not knowing u guys are there in solidairty.....

btw...am waiting till im married....and its funny how i have male friends who are hell bend on getting to me...they even making bets and staff

Cody
18 May 2009 11:59

there is condoms out there, everybody knows that! 

...........................and herpes, and warts......the list is endless.............

Cande
18 May 2009 12:27

I know there is condoms out there and so does everyone, and they do break..so imagine sleeping with 16 women in 4 days? What if it breaks with 2 of those?? Huh? He will continue spreading the disease like wild fire after that. I am not saying sleeping around causes Aids, am saying the risk is more and should the person get the virus then how many people will he be infecting if he sleeps with soo many of them? I hope you get what am trying to say. Anyway that is not the topic of discussion in this article

odie
18 May 2009 13:06

Mdavaso ke mathata fela. 

you might never get married but hey i know someone who has waited and waited wiht the guy for over 3 years. they are getting married in nesxt year. 

i have been waiting too - born again virgin. and have met a perfect guy. he is nice and undertstanding - only problem is for sure he is getting it from someone,

Best-Achiever
18 May 2009 13:20

have met a perfect guy. he is nice and undertstanding - only problem is for sure he is getting it from someone

r u ok with that odie?...why do you say he is perfect?

maud
18 May 2009 13:30

Welcome TDC- i missed you chanah....
VENUSSEED- what a topic, nice article, as for me i dont care umangikufuna wether is first day or second kuyafana, if he is going to leave you he will married or not .

to all the virgins out there close those legs.

maud
18 May 2009 13:34

can you imagine buying a car without the test drive, what if the engine is rotten.

Cande
18 May 2009 13:37

she means its difficult to get such an understanding guy, its very rare(born again or not) so judging by the way he is sooo understanding he might be getting it somewhere. of which she is being realistic

Best-Achiever
18 May 2009 13:51

can you imagine buying a car without the test drive, what if the engine is rotten

@maud, can u imagine test driving a car you have no intentions of buying, the next thing it gets you to an accident and you are paralyzed?

i get it Candzzz... thanks

Cande
18 May 2009 13:59

LOL @ the paralyzed bit

odie
18 May 2009 14:04

BA - not perfect - in that perfect way. but i can say he i the kind of man i need in my life. he understands and when i told him that he was going to get till i am ready - he was very resistant and asked me gore where do i expect him to get it from. i explained myself to him and told him that if he wasnt prepared for that, then it will be best he leaves. 
i am very proud of him for telling me that - he was going to try as he and it will be hard for him and thats waht brought me closer and closer to him. he tripped once and i knw it. teh poor guy was not himself that day. 

BA - i have accepted one thing mchana, men (not all of them cheat).

Kakapana
18 May 2009 14:05

@ Katlegom I'M A GIRL....


will do myname

Beyonce
18 May 2009 14:19

Guys can we please talk about Khanyi and Mandla lol . Are they really broke or is it just the Media?? lol

Forgive me writer, I just had to ask this question

Cande
18 May 2009 14:19

Keep it up Kakapana, had i known better i would have been like you!!!

Best-Achiever
18 May 2009 14:24

shame Cande ...LOL

Guys can we please talk about Khanyi and Mandla lol . Are they really broke or is it just the Media?? lol 

kwa kwa kwa kwa @Bee

myname
18 May 2009 14:31

Yes TDC it is that 1.

I actually admire people like u Kakapana, sometimes i just wished i could've listened to my mum but now kunzima doll. Its worse this JHB weather is another thing. I just need iwananyana....

Green.arrow
18 May 2009 14:34

@ Odie's story..

i once saw a story...i think on tyra..where a gal was intending on keeping herself for marriage..and she met a guy who said she understood, and bcos of that she was smitten to apoint she thot she might as well yiled to him....BIG MISTAKE...not only did she feel like she sold her soul out (and this is a personal conviction..i know its not verybodies)..she also discovered that the guy was not whom she thought he was.....he had kirk franklin kinda problem and she was a tool....

and so she wihsed she had stuck to her conviction...

they say matters of the heart makes u do staff etc etc...and so im believer in staying away from compormising situations that can lead you to..yielding..
so to all those who have a conviction to wait...b carefull..hormones are hormose and given a good set up...they go wild...the onus is on u to avoid...and the rewards are priceless..(ie...feeling good about urself...ther's nothing as horrible as feeling like u sold ur soul..or gave it up 4 free...)

maud
18 May 2009 14:38

@Best-Achiever - then you will know that was the wrong car- and why test drive if you dont have any intentions of buying.

Best-Achiever
18 May 2009 14:42

@maud ... the fact that the car got you into accident doesnt necessarily means that there is something wrong with the car... it might be the driver who made mistakes.

Beyonce
18 May 2009 15:12

haayi nina man, whats up with this imaginary car you are driving:)

Best-Achiever
18 May 2009 15:19

LOL Beyonce... Ukhanyi nomkhulu wakho uMandla ba broke, there is nothing to talk about there ....LOL

maud
18 May 2009 15:25

@beyonce- there are virgins here ,asikwazi ukusuke nje sibize amagama azobolisa izingane izindlebe.

zozoe
18 May 2009 15:25

so what you know , did you know that by davazing withsomeone you are inheriting their diseases, i mean everything about them so you can so maar imagine

Lex
18 May 2009 15:44

@ odie - he tripped once and i knw it. teh poor guy was not himself that day.
 wa mpolaya ntwana.and what did you say or do?

odie
18 May 2009 16:00

@ green , i have opened in my heart a little room for disappointments. we are all make mistakes and i just dont trust. thanx though.

belz
18 May 2009 16:08

Venussed the right time is when you feel it is the right time, period.

myname
18 May 2009 16:16

Sorry Ves 4 going off topic

Guys the Sunday World look is so beautiful.....Im luving it!!!! You can also drool 2 those World Babes ntoni ntoni hahaha of course if u r manless like mwaaa but if u have a man, Shame on u who r already taken, VIVA MASINGLES LOL

maud
18 May 2009 16:21

@myname- noseyishayile kakayidli noseyidlile usedle icala, on behalf of all the taken once.

nice
18 May 2009 16:35

haayi nina man, whats up with this imaginary car you are driving:)

Bey,
this made my loong day. LOL

myname
18 May 2009 16:42

Hai Maud wangibetha nge speech doll.....ndatsho nda so speechless. 

Guys let me go home, gudnite

carino
18 May 2009 20:10

heheheheh..

Cande
18 May 2009 21:37

O tshegang Carino?

juic
19 May 2009 15:51

Life is too short, read, pass, work, *bleep!*, marry, *bleep!* & die!

myname
19 May 2009 16:02

LOL Juic

Life is too short, read, pass, work, *bleep!*, marry, *bleep!* & die!
im gonna make it 1 of my fav quotes

dali
19 May 2009 16:17

lmao

Venusseed
19 May 2009 16:20

Lol@ juic!

The imaginary car: A friend of mine says that her mom always said " Le ikentse dikoloi tsa ko driving school. Bashimane ba ithuta ho draeva ka lona e be le fetoha dikrepe. Then ebe ba itukisetsa dikoloi tse ba tlo dikhipang".

Translation: "You turn yourselves into driving school's cars. These boys learn to drive through turning you into scrappy cars. Then they go buy the ones they gon keep"

The other funny one she said: " Motho o kare o bethe ya school hostel. Everyone o tlang o robala ho wena."
In English: "You are like a school hostel bed which everyone sleeps on. 

maud
19 May 2009 16:31

@Venusseed- My mom use to say uziphendule i ,matrass , umfana wabantu akasayazi ne bhedi yakhe uselokhu ephezu kwakho.

Venusseed
19 May 2009 16:35

i say wait for marriage.its old fashioned, true but at least you will know the person has only been with you and is not comparing u to three or five other people
How do you know he has only been with you?
 or that u are sharing this initimate moment with the person ,who has already shared it with other people.
Still, what proof do you have or how are you gon prove that?

I personally feel whatever makes your day, makes you happy or makes you come. As long as you will be able to handle tears of heartbreak from whatever decision or action you take. Because chances are you might cry from a broken condom, a contracted disease, an unplanned pregnancy and hey finding out the bugger you kept your virginity with has been sleeping around.

I do respect the ladies who have kept their virginity. I believe you are doing this for yourselves, your beliefs and not for someone else. Because if it's for the man to respect you or appreciate you or have the same quality, you will be hurt if his a contradiction of your expectations. So your virginity is yours and yours alone.

In high school we used to say: " A virgin can decide to no longer be a virgin but a non-virgin can't be a virgin again."

POWER TO VIRGINITY!!!

Venusseed
19 May 2009 16:37

@Maud That's a good one. I'm gon put it my book of quotes. LOL!!!

Nanana
19 May 2009 16:42

Mna I just think shagging him on the first day is just down right sleazy and trashy,take 3 months and see how it goes

Brown Shuga
19 May 2009 18:29

<<<My mom use to say uziphendule i ,matrass , umfana wabantu akasayazi ne bhedi yakhe uselokhu ephezu kwakho.>>>>
tl tl tl lt tl tl

<<<Life is too short, read, pass, work, *bleep!*, marry, *bleep!* & die!>>>>
tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl

Phikza
19 May 2009 19:28

LOL@your friend's mom Venusseed and maud's mom....tl tl tl tl

Venusseed
20 May 2009 14:12

Mna I just think shagging him on the first day is just down right sleazy and trashy,take 3 months and see how it goes
@Nanana
I think everyone has their preferance of how they want their dinner to be served in their houses. If a person wants coffee before a meal or dessert as a starter it is their choice. and one man's meat is another man's poison. 

If you are already having sex you are just like everyone else who have it on the first date or after 3months. It's good for you if it works for you. Therefore don't use words like trashy or sleazy judging other people.
Anyway big up with your 3 months trial period before sex. I hope the guy( which sounds like its guys) sticks/stick around for extra 3months.
So I'm interested after the trial how many times do you do it to make up for the 120+ days you've lost out? Or do you drag someone (an almost ex) who serves the shagging process and dump them for the new recruit after 3months?
 Sorry I don't mean to be judgmental i am just interested.

Cande
20 May 2009 14:18

LOL

myname
20 May 2009 14:25

Mna I just think shagging him on the first day is just down right sleazy and trashy,take 3 months and see how it goes

Iyhoooo Nanana 3 months is four much my skat....angekhe. Yhuu nkosi yam ndoba yini ukurhaliselwa......Where is Nonny when u need her?

Stay like that Nan if it works 4 u dear

Strolicious
20 May 2009 15:45

Lol @ myname noku rhaliselwa.i've bee seeing dis guy since march and he hasnt asked for it,he makes me feel special...phela sum guys after a week they just wanna shag me...

Zah000
20 May 2009 15:56

I think it's good to wait until you feel ready and comfortable enough to give it up. If you feel after a day / week / month / 3 months (Thix'onofefe) you're ready then good cause it's how you feel.

I ewmember when i was in high school, i went out with this guy and i wouldn't give it up coz i didn't feel sure enough about it. So he finally decided to dump me after a year coz he said i fustrated him, nxxxaa!!! A year later i met someone else, gave it to him after 6 months coz i felt it was time. Do i still wait that long?? No way!!! Inyanga iphela sekucacile!! lol

he makes me feel special...<<< Good for you ntokazi, God knows how much every woman deserves to feel that way

maud
20 May 2009 16:06

its all about the feelings ,if i feel you anytime it can be first day, i dont care if you were going to leave you were going to leave anyway.

labAntu uyahlala uthi umele three months kanti umele ubala nje.

Venusseed
21 May 2009 19:05

its all about the feelings ,if i feel you anytime it can be first day, i dont care if you were going to leave you were going to leave anyway.

Viva Maud.


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