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You know you are living in South Africa when ...

Written by Positivity1 from the blog South Africa on 01 Jun 2009
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How do you know you are living in South Africa???

Here’s my knowledge.


You know you are living in South Africa when …

You see a man holding a sign that reads something like, “13 Wives, 3 cats, 7 hungry dogs and 35 kids – still horny, please help with loose change or
You see a sign at a house reading. ‘“Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again:” or 

You read newspaper headline titled: "Return of the Merc". (Sbu and His Merc)

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You hear children’s names like demarcation and Xeno (Xenophobia).  

You buy a doctors note…from a sangoma.

You are not surprised to find groceries, clothes and furniture all in the same store. 

You hear that heists kings were caught while relaxing in Durban eating Romany creams. Poverty my foot!!!



105 Comments

Positivity1
01 Jun 2009 13:06

Okay guys add your own now!!!

ms.tebby
01 Jun 2009 13:13

You are not surprised to find groceries, clothes and furniture all in the same store>>>>>>LMAO

Brown Shuga
01 Jun 2009 13:13

When u watch TV SHOWS 2 years AFTER they aired in the states!

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 13:14

LMAO
Thats not entirely true...abt South Africans...
wink**wink Positivity...good to see u...:-)

Positivity1
01 Jun 2009 13:18

*wink** wink back at ya!

paris mbau
01 Jun 2009 13:18

you also know uyou are in SA when celebs launch their clothing lines in parkings of shopping centers. Isidingo actor Tshepo Maseko launched his line-Phologolo Active Wear on Sat at Campus Squre...

Katlegom
01 Jun 2009 13:19

When u watch TV SHOWS 2 years AFTER they aired in the states!
couldnt have said it better my self, kwa kwa kwa kwa!!

monchooza
01 Jun 2009 13:20

when you need an increase....just dance infront of the building you work in

Katlegom
01 Jun 2009 13:21

when you hear the 'swaggar' word everywhere as if the word did not exist before 2008

maud
01 Jun 2009 13:21

when your kids speak english only but they dont know their african language.

Cande
01 Jun 2009 13:23

When you call traffic lights, ROBOTS

Positivity1
01 Jun 2009 13:24

You board a taxi with construction workers who don't bother to take a bath... hee bankga batho bao hle!

mothotlung
01 Jun 2009 13:25

Koko Helen Zille start joking about the crime rate.

Positivity1
01 Jun 2009 13:27

when your kids speak english only but they dont know their african language>>> true but said, you won't find Afrkaans children speaking english..

Krissy
01 Jun 2009 13:29

When its not shocking to see a taxi driving on the yellow lane

Toodecent
01 Jun 2009 13:30

You call a filling station a Garage.

Hlehle
01 Jun 2009 13:33

LMAO

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 13:35

When its not shocking to see a taxi driving on the yellow lane 

LMAO 
Thank you Krissy

mothotlung
01 Jun 2009 13:35

JuJu call Helen Zille racist little girl.

Dash
01 Jun 2009 13:38

When you call any cold drink coke. If you want to be specific you'll go coke e ntsho and coke e orange.

When you call any mini bus a taxi.

realist
01 Jun 2009 13:43

When you have been robbed, hijacked and raped and they tell you that at least they did not kill you.

awelani
01 Jun 2009 13:43

LMAO

Krissy
01 Jun 2009 13:44

-When you call any tooth paste colgate and any deodarant shield (k Im also guilty of these)
-

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 13:47

ROFLOL 
realist...u finished me off there...where was this?

ms.tebby
01 Jun 2009 13:48

...If you want to be specific you'll go coke e ntsho and coke e orange. >>>LOL, have never heard of the orange coke, tl tl ltl

Krissy
01 Jun 2009 13:48

When you have been robbed, hijacked and raped and they tell you that at least they did not kill you. True that!!

When people say you are LUCKY when you live/work in Jozi and u have never been robbed. Mccm...

Mathaz
01 Jun 2009 13:49

@realist that's so sad.

When a thirteen year old girl does not need her parent's consent for abortion.

Positivity1
01 Jun 2009 13:49

When you have been robbed, hijacked and raped and they tell you that at least they did not kill you. >>> eish ngwana that's sore for me...and you had to be a realist lewena.

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 13:54

How do you know you are living in South Africa??? 

When Generations and its actors/actresses are rated the BEST in the soapie land.
(Eish i hope i dont get fired for this)

Positivity1
01 Jun 2009 13:56

People like Mandla selling their father's funeral before they die...heebathong, Mandela wabatho!

Pooky
01 Jun 2009 13:57

-when you go to a top restaurant and you see pap & vleis as a main course  
-when you have kwaito as a music gendre
-when you have a small get together nabangani bakho ekasi and half of the neighborhood gatecrashes turning your little do into a mega street bash
-when a taxi driver quickly gets out of the taxi while the robots are still red to ask another taxi driver for a loose R100.00
-when a taxi driver shouts at you for paying with a R50.00 note on a monday morning... or any other morning
- when a vodacom,mtn or cell c container is used as a hair salon.

Cody
01 Jun 2009 13:59

itoilet paper>>>>itompaper
OMW who says this?

Dash
01 Jun 2009 14:00

When a person says I'm sure your but they mean that they are not sure.

When you say ke sharp but do not mean gore you are razor sharp but OK. (antonym is blunt) .

Dash
01 Jun 2009 14:01

delete your. sori

TheLady
01 Jun 2009 14:05

When 'now now' can mean either next month or never.

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 14:05

itoilet paper>>>>itompaper
OMW who says this?

probably a 4 year old....LOL

mothotlung
01 Jun 2009 14:06

When you pronounce Debonairs,,,, Debonyezz

Cody
01 Jun 2009 14:08

LMAO Tazzy!!!!!!!

maud
01 Jun 2009 14:08

when you are not allowed to punish your child

Katlegom
01 Jun 2009 14:08

when (cell)phone numbers are called number phones

Cody
01 Jun 2009 14:09

............when people coming from Lesotho call News Cafe', News Caffeine.

monchooza
01 Jun 2009 14:12

you get paid for being pragnant.....

Dash
01 Jun 2009 14:12

When 5:00 sharp means anytime after 7:00

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 14:13

Debonyezz???
number phones??
news caffeine??

ROTFLMAO...guyz u cracking my ribs up here

Cody
01 Jun 2009 14:14

.....when people call calculator-cantchoolater,

Cande
01 Jun 2009 14:14

talk about people calling cell numbers number phones..

mothotlung
01 Jun 2009 14:15

@monchooza you get paid for being pragnant.....E re stru...

sexyd
01 Jun 2009 14:16

When u call Tissue-Toilet Paper

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 14:18

when people call calculator-cantchoolater,

LOL...who the idiot??

monchooza
01 Jun 2009 14:27

only in South Africa do you find modelc C students who twang too much in english mara they cant even write it down

sweetie my baby
01 Jun 2009 14:29

when you're at the border crossing into botswana, and giving the officials your vehicle registration number, and just as you're about to say  "GP" - they interrupt you by cheerily shouting out "Gun-Point!"

dali
01 Jun 2009 14:31

lmao sum1 shud a write an artcicle like this one about tvsa : u know u r on tvsa when

mothotlung
01 Jun 2009 14:35

LOL @SMB im staying in Botswana we nametsa thaba hle...mogotsi.

odie
01 Jun 2009 14:35

sweetie my baby - next time you go to bots take me

you know that you are in SA when people think tht you can cross the border (Bots) by just signing in mo note book and when you go back to SA sign out. 

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 14:36

people who are calling any washing powder iOMO and any margarine iRAMA

LMAO cheesa...fully agree!!

maud
01 Jun 2009 14:37

@dali- u know u are on TVSA when some blogger hi jack your article and others bloggers fight like there will be payment after the fight LOL

odie
01 Jun 2009 14:39

@ mothotloung - where you stayin in Bots. maybe we can hook up

felfel
01 Jun 2009 14:44

When u refer to a restaurant as as Rescue (pronounced iRestyu)...lol

dali
01 Jun 2009 14:47

lol maud dont hijack this article sweety rather hijack my 2 sentence article...

mothotlung
01 Jun 2009 14:48

@odie lets not RAPE this article. 

ms.tebby
01 Jun 2009 14:49

you know that you are in SA when people think tht you can cross the border (Bots) by just signing in mo note book and when you go back to SA sign out>>>>kwa kwa kwa kwaaaaa-talk about DJ twitty & Bongz who were returned from OR Tambo, thinking they were to relocating to the Uk & they did not have passports

zimbo 09
01 Jun 2009 14:50

lol

realist
01 Jun 2009 14:52

When they forgot something they always say eish san/sun/son

Swagger
01 Jun 2009 14:54

It just shows you whats left of their brain cells.

carino
01 Jun 2009 14:55

only in South Africa do you find modelc C students who twang too much in english mara they cant even write it down

kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa ROFL too true

Dash
01 Jun 2009 14:57

You definitely know it when there's a Nelson Mandela Street/Bridge in every City or Town. I just love SA.. 

Pooky
01 Jun 2009 14:58

-when you're a politician and you're sentenced to 4 yrs in prison for committing fraud but serve only 4 months

-when you pronounce Milnerton as Minaltin or Milnanton(capetonians will know what i'm talking about)

faraimagic
01 Jun 2009 14:59

he he he he wen there are Xenophobic attacks then you know you are surely in S.A!

odie
01 Jun 2009 15:00

@ motlo.. ok, 
it was the bloemfo celtics supporters, they came in 5 buses only to be send back from the border cause they didnt have passports

faraimagic
01 Jun 2009 15:02

tsama o reka omo,omo!LOL

Pooky
01 Jun 2009 15:08

LMAO @ Bloem samporters

Swagger
01 Jun 2009 15:15

When you have places called tshisa nyama's and they're always packed on Sundays.

realist
01 Jun 2009 15:27

When a request becomes a demand.

When  a problem is no longer a problem but a challenge. 

When there is a crisis, is first to deny it exists, then to ignore all warning signs, then to cover it up, then to deny it is as serious as was first reported.

zaa
01 Jun 2009 15:31

- When there's an accident involving SAB truck, peole will be helping themselves to the free beer than rescuing the injured.

- when people are buying/driving expensive cars but still leaving in shacks or rented 4 roomed houses

- when people wear sunglassed indoors or at night

- when Golf 5/GTI drivers are driving with their seats pressed too low/backwards. I always wonder how they actually see where they are going with that posture.

zaa
01 Jun 2009 15:33

sunglasses

mothotlung
01 Jun 2009 15:39

When sunglasses spell sunglssed. zaa ur soo cool i love you.

TerryN
01 Jun 2009 16:05

When SABC 1 brings back old crappy programmes and said " back by POPULAR DEMAND"

Kakapana
01 Jun 2009 17:18

when all the politicians were once arrested......

when most married women have double-barrel surnames.....

Brown Shuga
01 Jun 2009 22:12

Heheheh nice one Positivity!

Firstdvd
02 Jun 2009 07:49

When almost everyone around you beno-ink on their thumb nails!

TerryN
05 Jun 2009 14:10

belz
05 Jun 2009 14:34

LOL.

Sana Lwam
05 Jun 2009 14:47

When  you call a computer a comsuter

myname
05 Jun 2009 15:20

You know u r living in SA

When u call umbrella "sambren/sambreli.

When half of your salary goes to tax. (I know im exaggerating)

When we have a VERY unique President of the country (u'll figure out how different he is).

When we call meat Isishebo

When its allowed to have more than 5 wives & bcoz, "He is POLYGAMY".

When u buy drivers licence estolo.

Huuu I love my country.

myname
05 Jun 2009 15:28

When u r singer even if u can’t sing but u say u talented & it was ur damn dream while u were 5yrs.

You can buy Matric certificate. 

When a black person accomplished something, they will say, "The 1st black what what"..........Have u heard any1 saying, "The 1st White what what"?

myname
05 Jun 2009 15:31

When we call muffins “scorns”.

monchooza
05 Jun 2009 15:43

only in South africa when umuntu agqoke kabi..i mean mismatching colours and they call it Isbhujwa

Firstdvd
05 Jun 2009 15:48

lol @ isbhunjwa tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl

belz
05 Jun 2009 15:53

Firstdvd maan!!! go back to your office, how long is your lunch kanti?????

awelani
05 Jun 2009 15:59

when there are three 1st ladies........

LM
05 Jun 2009 15:59

LMAO@Myname, muffins and cup cakes rena re dibitsa diqueen s cakes

Firstdvd
05 Jun 2009 16:02

I'll be there in 10min...She told me dat ur busy wit 'SOME1' on the phone...Ya with SOMEONE hmmmmmmmmm

belz
05 Jun 2009 16:10

LOL!!! A client nje First!!! yini kanti.

Luksta
05 Jun 2009 16:21

When you can buy a degree eHillbrow

belz
05 Jun 2009 16:32

LOL @ Hillbrow degrees.

monchooza
05 Jun 2009 16:49

only in south africa do you get

if its dirty...istayela
if its torn istayela

if you dont have it blame it on apartheid or poor backround

Heartsbreaker
05 Jun 2009 17:10

"Ke tla etsa make sure"
 

Lushi
05 Jun 2009 17:15

Nice I Positivity1 

You know you are in SA when batho bakoGauteng bare di customers ama khasmende or di CUSTAMA

Lady D
06 Jun 2009 22:30

when people call 'bra' body,when people sing and dance because they want their demands to be heard,when goverment dept are forever offline!! you know you are in SA when halt the community,even men attend a baby shower and but dont bring presents,just cooler boxes!

TerryN
08 Jun 2009 10:06

LMAO Lushi

You know you are in SA when batho bako(northern)KZN bare ukugumula (to undress) instead of ukukhumula

felfel
08 Jun 2009 10:15

U know u in SA when u refer to stockings as amagusha = sheep

or the thick woollen ones as amankomo = cows

Nonny
08 Jun 2009 10:30

LOL this is such a cool article. I can't help LMAO at the replies.

Positivity, will u take offence if I take Dali's offer up and I do a "U know u r on tvsa when"

Tynt!
08 Jun 2009 10:50

u know u're in SA, when daily sun publish a story about a 48 yrs old mama,  who is still a virgin , and in search of a husband!!!!

vallie
08 Jun 2009 11:00

you know you living in sa when chinese are classified as black

"Ke tla etsa make sure"  kwa kwa kwa
U know u in SA when u refer to stockings as amagusha = sheep . lol


Nonny
08 Jun 2009 11:07

u know u're in SA, when daily sun publish a story about a 48 yrs old mama, who is still a virgin , and in search of a husband!!!!
kwa kwa kwa kwa


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