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Feeling very uneasy

Written by Freemale from the blog PARENTING on 10 Jun 2009
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Hey bloggers, there is a burning issue on my mind today which is rather making me feel uneasy....

Last night was a wake up call; I am single mother of a 12 year old boy who is very loving, intelligent and well informed about almost anything. (He once said to me when I find a boyfriend I must bring him for his approval) Lol..thats my boy for you

So last night he says to me “Mommy I have hair down there and it is growing”. I was in the middle of dinner and I almost choked trying to swallow a piece of meet as fast as I can. And suddenly I thought of my teenage hood years and when I asked my Mom where I come and she answered in full confidence that “ke nele le pula” and they found me on the stoep when they woke up in the morning because that is the family that God choose for me. So as I grew up I didn’t find it unusual that I rained maybe because my fellow friends were also told the same story or rather similar. You know about the birds and the bees.

And it is time for me to either tell him about the birds and bees or lay it all down to him like it is. Being a mother (maybe this is only happening to me but I find it very difficult to approach my son about these kind of issues. I m worried that someone might beat me to it , so I guess the sooner I do it the better..

So I asked my male colleague what I should do? he looks at me and says well buy me a bottle of Vodka and I will tell him all about it (not sure about that suggestion) and I thought maybe I should write him a memorandum and every time he asks a question I must give him a page number to refer to. (couldn’t help but laugh at my own thought) , so I went to google hoping I will find somethinghelpful and I find this: "Don't give boys short shrift. Broaching sexuality is easier with girls, because you can start with menstruation. With boys, talking about wet dreams and ejaculation is far more disquieting. It's hardly surprising then, that surveys show girls get far more information about their bodies and sexual urges than boys."

I m like what the hell? am I really expected to say thee things to my child?????

LAWD HAVE MERCY ON ME

So bloggers what do you think a mother is to do in this situation..how easy was it for your parents to address issues related to sex?

28 Comments

Freemale
10 Jun 2009 12:40

The joys of parenthood.... I guess

Amza
10 Jun 2009 12:43

You know about the birds and the bees.

Lol...couldnt resist...

dali
10 Jun 2009 12:48

tell him the truth en nothing but the truth............

myname
10 Jun 2009 12:52

Eish man i cant give u something but i also have a son who told me his girlfreind is Beyonce, i just LOL

I will wait for other mums.

monchooza
10 Jun 2009 12:52

as simple as it sounds..telling teenagers about such things kunzima...i know i have been there where i had to tell my younger brothers

Amza
10 Jun 2009 13:10

Yaa nee not easy at all..maybe you must get someone that he looks up to and respects to talk to him...maybe his uncle, cousin or family friend.

Ms. Jay
10 Jun 2009 13:20

don you have a brother or uncle you can ask to speak to him about it??

tha - bang
10 Jun 2009 13:22

Haai no,i dont envy you.i chickened out on my brother.my mothe bought a book ( i think) lol.But the best thing is to talk.cause if he is not getting the info from you,he is going to get some misleading stuff from the boys around the corner.failing that,get a book,thats what my mother did with me.sweet

Nonny
10 Jun 2009 13:28

This is a minor issue that he has asked you wait until he asks you about sex. I don't know how you will feel xa kunje ngoku.
I am not a mother, but I'd say talk to him, coz I have a younger brother and we are very close with him coz it started at a younger age. When he had his first erection, he came to me and asked me if he had to wear oversized pants till it goes down....LOL He's 18 now and he knows everything.

myname
10 Jun 2009 13:32

I love that signature ka Tboz ..........SWEET

myname
10 Jun 2009 13:34

When he had his first erection LOL u mean IMILE, he came to me and asked me if he had to wear oversized pants till it goes down....

Shame poor boy.....

maud
10 Jun 2009 13:35

i never had a problem with my sister she saw everything from me i never hided anything, the only thing i had to do was to tell her (if you sleep with a boy you will fall pregnant, not that she listened anyway, but it was easy i am a very open person.

Nonny
10 Jun 2009 13:38

It's about just having the courage and looking at it this way, rather u give ur son/brother a good foundation and have the correct information, than for him to be mislead by outsiders. So just do ur research and be as honest as u can be with him.

JadaPinkett
10 Jun 2009 13:43

So last night he says to me “Mommy I have hair down there and it is growing”..................TJO can't wait for ma son to say that so i wud tell him wat u saw is called pubic hair it's normally appears when u getting in the stage of being grown man.

Amza
10 Jun 2009 14:13

I should write him a memorandum and every time he asks a question I must give him a page number to refer to.

Hahahaha...really now desperate times do call for desperate meausres I see...

Nonny
10 Jun 2009 14:16

TJO can't wait for ma son to say that so i wud tell him wat u saw is called pubic hair it's normally appears when u getting in the stage of being grown man.
Then u can also tell him he needs to take good care of himself down there coz someone will also use his thingie it as a microphone, if he's lucky.............LOL...........just kidding guys, now get ur minds out of the gutter!

zozoe
10 Jun 2009 15:00

tjo tough staff i do have alittle brother he is one of those quite ones so he never asks about anything and ive neva seen him with a gal or phone calls so nna wa ntshosa

Vesa
10 Jun 2009 15:40

Then u can also tell him he needs to take good care of himself down there coz someone will also use his thingie it as a microphone, if he's lucky.............LOL...........just kidding guys, now get ur minds out of the gutter!

ROTFLMTAO!!!

GML
10 Jun 2009 15:44

I would say:

Son both men and women have hormones that make them male or female.

Like I have a hormone that made my breasts grow as a teenager and that makes my voice sound like it does. Men have hormones that make their shoulders broud and their voices deeper than ours.

So these hormones only work for a certain period. Like people stop growing taller because the growth hormone expires at age 18.

You have a hormone that makes hair grow on your private parts. this hormone shows that you are now growing into a man. That means you have wash properly every day. this hormone is a hormone that also allows you to make babies. But that does not mean that you know should become a father. It means that you have to learn to be responsible adult that does not do things that he knows are wrong. And only when you're old enough and have a good paying job and married you can use the hormone to make babies.

This also means that you have to use a condom to prevent yourself having a baby.

you should be proud of yourself my boy because you are becoming a man!!!!

HARAMBE24
10 Jun 2009 15:47

use his thingie it as a microphone, if he's lucky.............LOL...........just kidding guys, now get ur minds out of the gutter!
LOL...KWAKWAKWA....

TheLady
10 Jun 2009 15:50

So glad I'm not GML's kid..hormones and the long sermon...damn...

Amza
10 Jun 2009 15:50

Microwhat?

hahahahaha kwakwakwa...

myname
10 Jun 2009 15:51

Wow GML, Maybe i should call u when my boy is asking me these q's.

Amza
10 Jun 2009 15:54

@TheLady...my feeling exactly... all those hormal what whats no too much info...

Nanana
10 Jun 2009 16:10

Be direct with him

GML
10 Jun 2009 16:11

WE tend to underestimate the information kids have access to. by telling him the info and he comes across the info from somewhere else he can associate that with the info that you already and make an informed decision.

He obiviosly knows about sex ad that girls fall pregnant. If he is a position to have sex he will immediately associate the baby making hormone with girls and therefore will use a condom to "prevent" the having a baby you told him about.

mana melita
10 Jun 2009 16:18

tell him the truth my dear, I was shoked nami when my son told me that fortunately they had discussed it at school before it happened and he was only 11yrs old then.

VusiK
30 Jun 2009 00:06

Parenting ... Isn't it just wonderful.

Tell him the truth, pure facts, he'll understand. I've had plenty such talks.

They're easy now.

Just tell him, there is no stress on his part, it only exists in you.

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