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craZY quesTIons

Written by Usual Suspect from the blog CraZy queSTion on 13 Oct 2009
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Hey Bloggers....I feel I also have to plead my case before I carry on. It's my first time writting a blog, so please be gentle. It's just me maybe reaching a stage, me asking some questions about my experiances in life and me just trying to find out if any of what I have experianced in my life makes any sense to any1 else besides myself out there.

Anyway....oh and by the way...yes I am a guy. lol.

Ok....maybe this topic is tired but it's got to do with relationships, but it's just that there are a lot of things I just don't get when it comes to relationships....

Ok fine...all in all right, they say eventually everybody has that certain somebody meant just for them in the world somewhere right? That every pot has it's lid right? That everybody deserves to be happy right?

Well, one of the things I don't understand is, say right now you're in a commited relationship, not married, but very serious, committed relationship and you really love the person that you're with right now. What if that someone you're with is NOT the person that you were eventually meant to be with in the end...question is....what are you doing with that person ryt now? Is it a case of....in life you have to kiss a few frogs before you get your prince or something like that? Emotions don't understand ish like that.....feelings are something else hey.....

Another thing is....I don't mean to hate or disrespect or anything like that but, those men who have more than 1 wife out there....were those women...all of them just meant for him? All those lids just for 1 pot? Like for real?

On that....how possible is it to love more than one person? Like how many of your exs that you really loved would you wanna go back with?

Ok...when it comes to getting over some1, is there ever a formular for that, how does one get that 1 right, how do you just move on....carry on with life and forget that the person you felt so much love for is no longer with you....to just live and let live nje kanjalo nje? Come on now....how do you just let go....just nje let go?

Ok grand sharp it's just somethings I've been asking myself cos ryt now I'min quiet a bit of a dilema...don't know where I'm at actually with my feelings, I'm just in an emotional rollercoaster between my exs, potentials and current galfriend.....maybe it's nothing to worry about those....maybe it will pass....maybe it's just a a thingy nyana that will go away....

Just thought I should just a bitof how I see things....how my mind works on me sometimes...lol

Hope you enjoyed.....

74 Comments

Toodecent
13 Oct 2009 22:11

Ok...when it comes to getting over some1, is there ever a formular for that, how does one get that 1 right, how do you just move on....carry on with life and forget that the person you felt so much love for is no longer with you....to just live and let live nje kanjalo nje? Come on now....how do you just let go....just nje let go?>>>>
Its simple you just forget and let go...over the years I have leanrt how easy it is if you not thinking about it, just forget and let go..

zozoe
14 Oct 2009 08:19

Cody
14 Oct 2009 08:28

is there ever a formular for that, how does one get that 1 right, how do you just move on....

you just learn to live without them.

GML
14 Oct 2009 08:30

If you are sure that this person is meant for you then you will see them in your future. If you don't see them as the mother of your kids or you dont see yourself standing at the alter with them then they are not for you.

I have never seen any of my BF's as marriage material. I could never see them calling me their wife or me taking their surname. But with my hubby, I knew the 1st time I spoke to him. I could see us getting married and having kids etc. It was not daunting at all.

I guess if you see them in your future then maybe they are the right for you

Best-Achiever
14 Oct 2009 08:50

What if that someone you're with is NOT the person that you were eventually meant to be with in the end...question is....what are you doing with that person ryt now?

usual Suspect ... let me put this in a simpler way ... You know when one goes to Casino to gamble, they know that the end result could either be Win or Loose, their focus is to Win that's what give them the desire to play, to take those risks and engage in gambling, but there is no guarantee that they will win. And they will never know if they were gonna win or loose unless they take that chance ... same asrelationship, you just take your chance, for people who get into relationship with a focus of marriage, family and all that ish ... those people only focus on what they believe to be the end result which is family but sadly that might not be the end result and they wouldnt know that unless they take a chance!

those men who have more than 1 wife out there....were those women...all of them just meant for him?
I dont believe hore one man was meant for more than one women ... my reason being it doesnt matter whether he can afford them, afford higher lfestyle living for them all i know is at the end of the day, he doesnt love them the same, and they are not happy the same way... you know when you are in a relationship there are times when you just want to be with the person you love, when you need then to just hug you for no reason, when you just need them to be there and when that man does belong to you only, are you gonna be happy knowing that you need him but it is not your turn to be with him? No!

Ok...when it comes to getting over some1, is there ever a formular for that, how does one get that 1 right, how do you just move on....carry on with life and forget that the person you felt so much love for is no longer with you....to just live and let live nje kanjalo nje? Come on now....how do you just let go....just nje let go?

When it comes to the matters of the heart i believe there is no formula or any standard solution because we dont feel and take things the same way. And about moving on and letting go, that does not conclude that you dont love a person anymore, it simple means(my opinion ofcos) you are brave enough to let them do what they want to do when they want to do it even if they not gonna do it with you!

Sslave
14 Oct 2009 09:04

If you don't see them as the mother of your kids or you dont see yourself standing at the alter with them then they are not for you.
SO TRUE GML, SO TRUE

poshspice
14 Oct 2009 09:07

Ok grand sharp it's just somethings I've been asking myself cos ryt now I'min quiet a bit of a dilema...don't know where I'm at actually with my feelings, I'm just in an emotional rollercoaster between my exs, potentials and current galfriend.....maybe it's nothing to worry about those....maybe it will pass....maybe it's just a a thingy nyana that will go away....

My View: Sometimes this happens when YOU are not sure what you want in a partner and not content with your choices in life. decide the top 10 qualities you want in a woman and decide on what you would settle for...7/10 or 5/10. know that you will never get a person will all the qualities you need, just identify the key qualities that are a must and live with your decision by accepting her weaknesses .that might assist in eliminating some exes, potential and current gf dilemma.

GML is spot on

Best-Achiever
14 Oct 2009 09:07

If you don't see them as the mother of your kids or you dont see yourself standing at the alter with them then they are not for you.

Ok GML, what if one person sees the other one in that way but the other one doesnt? lets say it is a guy who sees a girl in that way and the girl doesnt, does this mean then that the girly is meant for the guy but the guy is not meant for the girl?

VusiK
14 Oct 2009 09:24

Very Profound .... It has been a long time since I read a good quality blog and responses ...

I Like,

I'm not going to comment.

I like ....

poshspice
14 Oct 2009 09:33

BA like you said there is no guaranteed solution or formula re: matters of the heart....therefore I think nowadays it is important to use 50% of your head and 50% of your heart..You decide what you want in a man/woman,learn to love and live with them.

The high rate of divorce and abuse in relationships makes me doubt if the 'soul mate' concept still applies nowadays.

tracy
14 Oct 2009 09:46

On that....how possible is it to love more than one person? Like how many of your exs that you really loved would you wanna go back with?

I think it is possible to LOVE more than one person ofcourse Iwouldnt want to go back to to my exs but I believe that its possible to love more than one person

blueroze
14 Oct 2009 10:02

i have a feeling this was written by a teenager

lady gaga
14 Oct 2009 10:04

@tracy,
i think it is possible to LOVE more than one person ofcourse Iwouldnt want to go back to to my exs but I believe that its possible to love more than one person

i dnt think so gal......we tend to confuse lust with love!

Ok...when it comes to getting over some1, is there ever a formular for that, how does one get that 1 right, how do you just move on....carry on with life and forget that the person you felt so much love for is no longer with you....to just live and let live nje kanjalo nje? Come on now....how do you just let go....just nje let go? i so wish i could also have an answer to this one.*sigh*............

lady gaga
14 Oct 2009 10:04

shut up blueroze

GML
14 Oct 2009 10:07

Ok GML, what if one person sees the other one in that way but the other one doesnt? lets say it is a guy who sees a girl in that way and the girl doesnt, does this mean then that the girly is meant for the guy but the guy is not meant for the girl?

@BA: I think that sometimes people are so caught up in finding the right person and trying to make what they have work, that they get lost in that and ignore other things as well.

If a person has been in a relationship for years but the relationship is stagnant. One person may feel that the next step for that relationship is marriage. The other may feel it is not necessary. I think that the person who wants marriage would say we have spent so many years together it feels right to get married. However, that may bot be the case. One may find that the only thing keeping that relationship going is time invested in the relationship more than anything.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it could be possible that one person may feel/think they have found their life long partner because of the experiences that they have gone through with their partner and that could possibly overshadow what really is. If one has been in a relationship for long one has time to get used to creating a picture in their head of their partner being the mother or father of their kids. Because of the time they have invested in that relationship.

I'm no expert in relationships but i always say that if your partner does not see you in the way you see him maybe you created that image and did not allow the image to create itself. You chose to see that person in your future but did not allow that picture to create itself.

poshspice
14 Oct 2009 10:13

tracy: I think it is possible to LOVE more than one person ofcourse Iwouldnt want to go back to to my exs but I believe that its possible to love more than one person

it is important though to let go of the past, accept that you loved the person but it did not work out and close the chapter, CLOSE THE CHAPTER, get over it for your own sanity and to be able to have fun again otherwise you become bitter and unable to love the next person fully.....because you are holding on to the past.

Tholi
14 Oct 2009 10:16

((i have a feeling this was written by a teenager))
kwakwakwakwakwa!!!

blueroze
14 Oct 2009 10:21

shut up blueroze
kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwakwawkwakwakwa

tracy
14 Oct 2009 10:23

@lady gaga
why then do man marry more than one wife and you find situations where pple have an affair for more than 5years I believe Lust doesnt last at all but love does u wouldnt marry someone out of lust because then the marriage wont last not even fora year

tracy
14 Oct 2009 10:27

@poshspice
easier said than done

Best-Achiever
14 Oct 2009 10:29

GML, i get what you are saying bt i dont agree with everything that you are saying ... i dont agree with 'if your partner does not see you in the way you see him maybe you created that image and did not allow the image to create itself.'

im of the belief that when two adult ppl get into a relationship it is all out trust, you trust that what the other person is saying is true, otherwise no one can set themselves for a heartbreak, you believe that the otherperson sees you the way you do, it is the other person who helps you to creat that picture, you dont just create it by yourself unless if it is just a crush!

poshspice
14 Oct 2009 10:31

@Tracy....I know dear, I know..

Sips
14 Oct 2009 10:34

Ok GML, what if one person sees the other one in that way but the other one doesnt? lets say it is a guy who sees a girl in that way and the girl doesnt, does this mean then that the girly is meant for the guy but the guy is not meant for the girl? I also want to know this..

i dnt think so gal......we tend to confuse lust with love! I'm with you ladygaga on this

monchooza
14 Oct 2009 10:35

Nice article VusiK...lol

Tash 1
14 Oct 2009 10:47

Tjo am enjoying reading this, u guys r damn gud. Well done 2 ol of u Mabloggers, keep up the gud-work neh!!

GML
14 Oct 2009 10:47

@BA: You are completely correct in saying that one only builds these images of the future based on what the other says and does.

Very true. However, I pray that God show me that what I'm doing is going to work or not. I know that not long after something will happen that will give me a sign to continue to to just give up. I just say "God, is what i'm trying to do really going to work or am I forcing things? Please show me what i need to do"

then I just relax and I will know- not always immediately but there will come a time where I will know.

Relationships are not easy BA that's why there is no dry solutions to problems. I think one has to find a way that works for them. Like my way asking God to show me if it's worth it or not.

Lex
14 Oct 2009 10:54

wow,brilliant article and responses.

One and Only
14 Oct 2009 11:34

Relationships are not complex but easy to manage if you follow the right procedures and path.

Most frogs like myself are nothing but frogs, will never change into princes even after 100 french kisses.

Women should respect themselves and their bodies if they want to be respected, no sex before marriage and the only time you can be sure about a guy's love for you is when he sends his elders to yours.

GML
14 Oct 2009 11:44

Even then 1 and Only:

A man will show you the kind of respect he has for you in the way he shows you. he can send his elders to my place and still embarrass me in front of my community by cheating bluntly.

Men can send elders out of obligation but not respect because they can come back and say that I was doing you a favour by marrying you etc.

Respect is in the way you treat me and behave when around me

Freemale
14 Oct 2009 11:46

@ One & Only, Relationships are not complex but easy to manage if you follow the right procedures and path.

So is there a formula?

realist
14 Oct 2009 11:48

Well said on your 5:44:45 post. Well said.

Best-Achiever
14 Oct 2009 11:57

"Women should respect themselves and their bodies if they want to be respected, no sex before marriage and the only time you can be sure about a guy's love for you is when he sends his elders to yours"

Women can do this and the guy can send send his elders home but that doesnt guarantee that someone will never change ... The true test of anyone's faithfulness is determined by what some one do when noone is looking so if you can remain faithful when nobody's is looking, when you know that no matter what you can do at that point ppl will never know then yes to me you are faithful .... If you can respect someone that you know is no benefit to you and you'll not benefit anything from them, then yes you are respectful

Lex
14 Oct 2009 12:02

@ GML,jy gooi vandag ne,and by the way I concur 100% with your last statement.

GML
14 Oct 2009 12:10

@Lex: I had the same dream for 3 nights in a row. I dreamed a man was chasing me. he chased me to the point where I could not run anymore, and when he finally caught up with me he too was too tired to do anything. Then I would suddenly wake up.

I asked my grandparents about this dream and they said people dream such dreams (being chased) when you're undergoing change. It made sense because I was making the necessary changes in my life and am happy and at peace with myself. I guess part of the change is gooing vandag.lol

I just feel very different today. My change started when I promised to stop talking about sex. lol. It's not GML speaking today- that I can assure you.

One and Only
14 Oct 2009 12:13

GML sending my elders to yours is the 1st sign that I am committed to you and also says a lot about a man's character.

By out of obligation you mean a guy that marries you because you have kids together! How many guys have +/-5 kids with different girls are still not marrying them because they are not obligated?

This trial and error thing favours the guys not women.

Best-Achiever
14 Oct 2009 12:18

and also says a lot about a man's character.

1 and only ... the only thing that says a lot about your character are the things that you do when no one is watching!

2good4u
14 Oct 2009 12:26

each and evry 1 of us has a different opinion on this matter... hating man has done me no good bt given me knowledge that i woudnt have had if i hadnt gone through my situation "which im still goin through" sometimes its not about u or the person that u want, u might be content with whom ever u're with....bt the q? shud be are they content with u for the past 6 years i thought i was in a happy relationship everything was just ok , the romance and all that ish... first love and all that b*llsh*t... guess what?its called FATE: it was my time to learn in the relationship after the lobola, traditional wedding and kids, it was my turn to experience being cheated on, driking husband, bad friends, you know mos and now confusion... i can still remember askin if i'll ever find some1 to love me completely, he said he doubts it:"unless u get an old man who will accept u and ur 2kids" but as for guyz like 'ME' i doubt it. HA!!! i make every day a special occasion for me and if u should ask me:the men that ask me out are in such a high level its so amazing u know what i deserve better i know there is some1 out there for me his just waiting for the rite time to approach me! and when he comes ill be waiting and do u know what...this this is a trial and error u have to do/correct and master it

GML
14 Oct 2009 12:40

1 and Only.

Character is only built by what you as a person believes in, the way you carry yourself when you're with your woman, the way you carry yourself when you're with your friends, the way you treat people. The consistency that he portrays in his dealings in everyday life. You can marry me today and humiliate me by cheating with my friend in our house and our bed. Paying lobolo is no sign of character. It's in behaviour and attitude. Character has nothing to do with putting a ring on my finger- any man can do that.... how you treat me and how honest you are with yourself and yur partner builds character- it also sparks a need for your partner to want to be the best they can for you. not lobolo.

Yes, indeed a man can show you how committed he is to you by sending his elders to yours, but that does not mean he may not be obligated to marrying you. He may feel that I have spent 5 years with this girls shame, let me just marry her once. nje for the sake of marrying her. Character? 1 and Only?

@BA: very well said. Unembeza will determine your character- somehow but not completely.

Usual Suspect
14 Oct 2009 12:50

WOW....thanks guys....your replies are really appreciated.

Some make sense and some leave me with even more questions....but I guess in life everything happens for a reason and if you really were meant to be with some1 then I guess nothing can ever stop that from happening, only God knows and He has the answeres.

thanks again for the responses.....to think I was a bit nevourse since this is my first blog ever....thanks a lot guys even for the props....

One and Only
14 Oct 2009 13:17

GML & BA when I say character I am including all the things that you have mentioned like moral fibre etc which I also agree with you that it plays a vital role.

But GML I totally disagree with you when you say we cannot take lobola as a sign of character because if it wasn't most people would be married.

If sending my elders to yours and marriage is as easy as you say then why most of you ladies are still single or find yourselves in relationships for more than 10yrs with no signs of marriage proposal from a guy?

Tholi
14 Oct 2009 13:22

@2good4u, u make so much sence. sometimes men take us 4 granted.

My ex boyfriend asked me to marry him, when i was about to answer he said "but only in one condition, if u gonna allow me to have a galfriend as well", and i was like WHY?? he said "bcos our sex life wont be the same in 10 years to come and when i have kids i will be even more over waight". can u believe it!!! I sent him to hell, he has 6 kids now from 6 different bunch of mothers, he's a joke. while i'm expecting my first child with the love of my life.

GML
14 Oct 2009 13:37

If sending my elders to yours and marriage is as easy as you say then why most of you ladies are still single or find yourselves in relationships for more than 10yrs with no signs of marriage proposal from a guy?

If you refer to my reply above you will realise that I acknowledge the commitment a man show to you by sending his elders. Sending his elders may say something about him and his character, but no means is that he respects you. That comes/shows through his actions including sending his elders.

What I'm saying is an honest man will be honest in his intentions like if he wants to marry you. It will be genuine want/need to marry you because the character he has always potrayed to you will be that of an honest genuine man. But it does not mean he respects you- any tom dick or harry can send his elders to yours just because he can. Respect is totally different.

most women find themselves single because people like you 1 and only who have managed to convince women that they are at fault by not doing 1,2or 3. Once men start taking responsibility and taking their rightful place in society then maybe things will start to take a turn into the right direction. but as long as there are people who make excuses not to marry other people because they do not respect themselves then we are doomed.

why would a man be with a woman who does not respect herself in the first place. Then that alone says something about that man. He too lacks self respect.

cleve
14 Oct 2009 13:42

Tjo tjo tjo GML......... ja ne wayibeka indaba.

Cody
14 Oct 2009 14:03

It's not GML speaking today- that I can assure you.

certainly not.......that is for sure....ya o e tshwere ngwana ko kasie!

2good4u
14 Oct 2009 14:08

@tholi thx gal: u very lucky to have found some1 for me i think the healing part is taking longer than i anticipated the worst thing to happen in a "not meant to be" relationship is when u have kids...thats the worst cuz u know ull have to c that person for the rest of ur life....tjo it sucks

One and Only
14 Oct 2009 14:22

GML I think you are missing the point here why are you excluding respect as part of character? You cannot be said to have a good character while you are lacking respect.

why would a man be with a woman who does not respect herself in the first place. Then that alone says something about that man. He too lacks self respect.
Being with a woman who lacks self respect doesn't mean that I lack it to! I'll be with that woman because I want nothing but sex and my penis cannot differentiate a woman with self respect and one who doesn't.

The chances of a man marrying a woman who doesn't respect herself are not any better than winning lottery.

Sslave
14 Oct 2009 14:28

*sigh* \',-(

Best-Achiever
14 Oct 2009 14:34

Being with a woman who lacks self respect doesn't mean that I lack it to! I'll be with that woman because I want nothing but sex and my penis cannot differentiate a woman with self respect and one who doesn't

You know what 1 and only -- the highlited part there says it all about you, you have no respect whatsoever about your ownself so it will be real a mission impossible for us to expect that you can respect the next person.
You know 1 and only Self-respect is the fruit of discipline, the sense of dignity that grows with the ability to say no to oneself, if you cant say No to yourself because 'you are seeing a woman' then my brother you have no respect ..and it is actual a shame to thing that a person like you is controlled by a penis ... nk nk nk nk.. that thing have no brains and you do!

Cody
14 Oct 2009 14:42

my penis cannot differentiate a woman with self respect and one who doesn't

this is actually correct one and only, you are the one with the brains not your penis, if your penis was meant to think then it would have brains, but then your kop is the one with the brains, for it to make a standing ovasion, it should get the message from your brains...therefore you can control what it wants and where it can go, and frankly you dont have self respect period, sticking your penis everywhere, even when you can see that the woman doesnt respect herself,shame.....

GML
14 Oct 2009 14:54

Being with a woman who lacks self respect doesn't mean that I lack it to! I'll be with that woman because I want nothing but sex and my penis cannot differentiate a woman with self respect and one who doesn't.

what are you saying 1 and only? that men think with their penises? Or shall I say that you think with your penis?

Even so, no self respecting man would hang around a woman who has no self respect just for the sex. That is why there are things called 1 night stands- to avoid being around a such women or men. However if you do it says a lot about your character and level of respect as well.

what's wrong with the world today? People like you 1 and only

GML
14 Oct 2009 14:56

Ditto Cody and BA. Ditto

Self respect is a discipline and if you go around sticking it everywhere then that says a lot about the person rather than the penis

Cody
14 Oct 2009 14:58

spot on GML, but then again, his alias says it all. ke one & only wa mampela.LOL! and he makes me laugh despite his crazyness.

maddie
14 Oct 2009 15:05

my penis cannot differentiate a woman with self respect and one who doesn't

your hand cannot also differentiate between stealing and not stealing but you use your brain not to, why is it that when it comes to sex men will find an excuse to do wrong and use these kind of statements to justify their actions

Usual Suspect
14 Oct 2009 15:25

that was a good one Maddie
your hand cannot also differentiate between stealing and not stealing but you use your brain not to

One and Only
14 Oct 2009 15:25

I agree 200% with you all my sisters but having sex with different women doesn't mean that I do not respect myself and if wena ulahlile what do you expect me to do?

You know the issue of thinking with your penis or brains vice versa is a very complicated one. I had in many occassions gone to Teazers for bachelor parties of some of the guys I work with when they are about to get married.

Here I'm talking about guys from all walks of life from normal filing clerks, COO, CFO, Actuaries etc and their behaviour there is the same.

Is it safe to conclude that most and/or 90% of the guys nowadays are like me, they don't have self respect and think with their penises? If not why are there so many young women with kids without fathers not because he's dead?

GML
14 Oct 2009 15:38

If not why are there so many young women with kids without fathers not because he's dead?

Good question 1 &only.

My answer: We have so many women in these situations because women are strong individuals who do not shy away from their responsibilities like men. Women who are able to admit that they were foolish in their dealings with men and are taking care of their responsibilities or the consequences of their actions

I ask you this.

Why are there so many men with kids all over the place these days?

Because men are selfish and take advantage of women who give themselves to them. They hide away from their responsibilities and then turn around and call women cheap whores with no self respect. They do that so that they can feel good about themselves. It's sad really that a man feels the need to degrade a woman so that he may feel or come across like a man to his peers. Men are week individuals who allow their penises to control their actions and shy away from the responsibility that they created.
Where would men be without woman? Dead because they wouldnt have anyone to clean up their mess for them

VusiK
14 Oct 2009 15:38

Monchoosa ... Kiss

I can comment now

While everyone is waxing lyrical about the morality of sex, Love, Lust, and choices, a simple reality is being grossly overlooked ...

Choice

Everybody has a prerogative to exercise

To the sisters who think that withholding sex raises their value ... I only have this to say ... He's getting it elsewhere .... He's getting sex ... with or without you, he's getting it, with someone else or by himself ... He's getting sex

to the philosophic question regarding whether one can love more than one person ... All Parents know the answer to this one ... Which of your children are you not prepared to die for?

Personally, If I don't like something, I try to correct it, If I cannot, I have a decision to make, I either live with it (modified), of I choose to live without it (which may not be desirable), but I make a decision by myself, for myself, absolutely selfishly. ( I would have reached the stage at which I am convinced that the person I am with does not hold me in sufficient esteem to put my feelings on the "Important shelf"

I deserve to always be on the Important Shelf

But all the answers to these questions boil down to CHOICE

Best-Achiever
14 Oct 2009 15:39

if wena ulahlile what do you expect me to do?

A self -respecting man knows when to say NO!

If not why are there so many young women with kids without fathers not because he's dead?
You know the answer to that .. it is because like you said some man dont respect themselves, they dont respect those kids, they dont want to respect their responsibility!

lady gaga
14 Oct 2009 15:47

halala GML halala, tell him sister!!!

nice informative responses guys........................thank you!!!

One and Only
14 Oct 2009 15:59

Where would men be without woman? A: Where would women be without men? The point I have been trying to make is that if you are a woman, be a proud one, know yourself, respect yourself and your body. No man should be allowed to touch you unless he is your husband.

If you wanna save yourself from heartache and not being taken advantage of by some low-life shitty guy like myself follow the above and you won't need to accuse guys of thinking with their penises while you are opening your legs instead of ears when your elders give you advice about this.

Good point Maddie but you know what I live a clean life and am able to handle all temptations except this one and i don't mind going to hell for it. Nkosi yami yaze yamnandi into ayideleki.

By the way nice points from the ladies.

Cody
14 Oct 2009 16:03

if wena ulahlile what do you expect me to do?

This only means hore both of you nilahlile, i hope you get herpes.

lady gaga
14 Oct 2009 16:06

haaaaa Cody, lmaol...................................tjo,tjo,tjo,kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

One and Only
14 Oct 2009 16:08

Let me go because ningitshele ezikabhoqo namhlanje ukube bekungezikapelepele bezizongibabela mangikaka.

Thank you sisters, with women like you in our communities we will never go wrong. Keep it up!!!!!!!

Cody
14 Oct 2009 16:11

ningitshele ezikabhoqo namhlanje ukube bekungezikapelepele bezizongibabela mangikaka.

LMAO yena yedwa! huu, you are something else alright! nc nc nc!

GML
14 Oct 2009 16:42

Lol Cody. herpes. kwaaaaaaaaaaaaakwakwakwa

BA: No is the easiest thing to say- It's maintaining consistency that's a problem
1&only. you finished me- Here I was getting ready to respond kamnandi
Lady Gaga: where have you been?

Bye people
Kusasa ne

machinjiri
14 Oct 2009 16:57

1 and only, very very true if i am a woman i shld be a proud 1know myself, respect myself and my body no man shld touch me unless if he is whatever, if i wonna save myself from heartache and not bng taken advantage of by some low-life shitty guy like urself i will try and follow them rules and i wont accuse guys of thinking with their penises while we r opening our legs instead of our ears when our elders are giving us advise about this ha ha ha LOL
at last u made sense, why were u giving us a headeche with all those crazy replies

realist
15 Oct 2009 07:20

GML: Good points you are raising there. Like I said before no one loves someone for love sake but for self interest. If the person is still serving your interest you stay interested. If the interest dies for whatever reason the relationship starts to develop difficulties and until both of you can resolve the differences the relationship would not last. Here I am talking about no cheating when the relationship develops difficulties.

If for whatever reason someone becomes fed up with the relationship then the relationship will die and hence the separation. If someone has an affair it is pointless going on a high horse and start screaming and yelling. Have a discussion with that person and find out the reason why and if you are not satisfied with the reasons given make a decision as to whether you are still interested in that relationship.

No point staying in relationship if you are not happy. Mostly you are attacking One and only for the stating the obvious. Look at it this way, why is it when a man finds his girlfriend/wife cheating on him he ends the relationship right there on the spot and move on with his life and woman finds find it difficult to do the same?

GML
15 Oct 2009 08:07

Good point realist.

I was not attacking 1 and only- just merely showing him that the thinking is what wrong with the world today. Blaming wrong decision on the penis etc.

Women find it difficult to leave because that is how women are made. To try not give up until the very end. Men find it easy to up and leave, hence the many men in the world with kids all over the place. It is easy for them to up and leave their responsibilities. It is a flaw that most women have.

Women happen to be more patient than men hence women try to salvage whatever that is left of their relationships before throwing in the towel.

what is important thought is that we acknowledge the differences between men and women and accept that certain things cannot be explained in their entirety

Lex
15 Oct 2009 08:52

Usual Suspect,thank you from the bottom of my heart for a really interesting article,the discussion was very mature and informative (which is quite scarce here at our lovely home,TVSA).

realist
15 Oct 2009 09:35

@ GML. Point taken. When you good you good. Enjoy.

Cande
15 Oct 2009 09:54

ningitshele ezikabhoqo namhlanje ukube bekungezikapelepele bezizongibabela mangikaka.>>>>What does this mean?

GML
15 Oct 2009 10:16

@Cande: In simple terms he means re mo boleletse ditaba tsa hae. If ene ele ditaba tsa chillies di ne di tlo mo babela ha ya toilet.

My sotho is bad today. But i hope you understand

Usual Suspect
15 Oct 2009 11:10

@Lex:
Thank you hey and the rest of the guys who responded very well to my article, was just merely expressing my views and confusion and guess I sparked something from the people that responded and had something to add...

Thanks people...

Cande
15 Oct 2009 11:28

thanx GML, i do

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