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What must I do

Written by fay from the blog Survivor on 21 Oct 2009
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Sanibonani nonkhe. Ninjani hhayi!  tsine sisaphila.

Here I am writing to you with the hope that I will receive those different views and suggestions. I know some will disappoint but I am ready for it. Ningisole where u feel I was wrong Its fine with me.

I am a 30 yr single parent. I bcame a single parent after the father of my Angel decide to marry another woman. I met this guy thrugh my uncle (babe lomncane), they are friends. We started dating at form 4 (1998), he was two years older than me. Our relationships went smoothly; I studied tourism while he remained at home.
In all this yrs we never had sex until 28 Sept 2001, I WAS A VIRGIN at 22. On this day I paid him a visit, it was not the first time of course in all the visits he made moves but I refused. My mother was so strict and I feared that she would chop my head off as per her promise shuld she gather that I visit boys, (she was a police officer. She died in 2002 May). He made those moves and won this time around. He lured me into doing it after showing some pink tablets saying he was preventing (Kuvikela) so I will not fall pregy. He knew that I was a VIRGIN and always said he was proud of me. We did IT and I went home where they were happy to see me after a long time (mom had sent me home). No1 knew anything save for the two of us. I will never forget this day ever in my life, what happened was so bad, it was so painful, I bled and the sheets were so dirty I felt so embarrassed. It all happened in broad day light Puuuum I was pregnant!! I gave birth to a bouncing little boy on June 7 2002. He was diagnosed with heart failure, fits and asthma. He took care of us until my boy was 18 mnts thereafter vanished to thin air. He got married later that year & is still married. I called him about our first born’s health several time and he never helped. One day he ordered that he bring his child and leave him alone. I cried; it was bad. My family helped me with everything coz I was unemployed until January 2005.
He is now doing grade 2 in one of the rural schools closer to my home and he first saw his dad last yr. He now says he wants his child, he still loves us and wants to pay school fees. I have allowed him to see our boy and he (son) was very happy to c his father. He says he wants me back; he still loves me, made a mistake and was sorry.
He threatens to consult a traditional healer to help get us back to him and I will be the second wife. I now have a boyfriend who loves me with likhwekhwe lami (my burden). I am not interested in this man, he made fun of me when I needed him the most even after the death of Mama who was the bread winner he deserted us. Now here he is knocking in my door. He says our reconciliation would be the best thing for our boy. He has even sent his sisters to talk to me but I said NO. He said ngitogugela ekhaya (I will never get married) because he uses muti. Does muti really works. I no longer have feelings of this man but will never forget September 29 ever in my life.
Do I have to hide from him, go to another country or what? I do not trust him!!!!. I have told my current boyfriend but pretended as a friend of mine is faced with such a prob. What I wrong to tell him or should I just tell the whole story. I am confused. I am now employed in a good paying company and I am happy. I was planning to rent a flat in town and stay with my Angel but then Im scared of threats.



33 Comments

fay
21 Oct 2009 18:50

Nayo-ke indzaba lets debate on what I must do. I no longer love him not be cause he left me in the cold in the past but because I no longer love him and that's it!!!!

sweetie my baby
21 Oct 2009 19:07

why are you even asking for advice when it's so obvious what YOU want to do? it's obvious! you say you don't love him, don't trust him, have a great new man... so what's the debate? LEAVE HIM IN THE PAST WHERE HE BELONGS!

fine -  your son has a right to a relationship with his dad - but you do not owe this arsehole ANYTHING... now that you're living large - good job, great man - he suddenly sees the light and wants you as his SECOND wife????? wow. he's got a sbindi, all right. some guys are not ashamed...

keep it moving sweetie - tell your current man the truth. secrets aren't good between loved ones.

tell mr. ex that he can have a relationship with his kid, but he must forget about i-love-back.

Floh
21 Oct 2009 19:59

Ayi ke ntombi uze ungabuyisi lemvodza wena.

SistaBB
21 Oct 2009 20:34

been there, heard that muti thing b4 but I'm still standing tall, it will never work.

Just picture urself in 2yrs time maybe and u've lot ur job or paralised (not saying that they will happen), do u think  he will still love u?..hell NO! 

My advice is, Live ur life like he is not even exsisting. And Please that Muti CRAP wil never work, my ex is still going up and down with my photo saying the same that no relationship of mine will workout, but i think its his that dont succeed!!

mathata
21 Oct 2009 21:00

Tjo you confuse yourself.

if muti was working every monkey will be rich today,honey move on,life is to short,maybe his HIV,move on

your umalume what kind of company he keep?he must protect.

make a statement at police station n make sure he sees his child every sunday morning,guess what you will win this fight,he wont come bcs that time babalazi will be f** him.

do you know problems?this is not.

La Dolce Vita
21 Oct 2009 21:00

Let that nja GO with his tail btwn his legs!! Sies,akanantloni ushiya umam umntwana wakhe ebunzimeni...rha MAYIHAMBE INJA!!
Love ur little baby, ur new man and ignore lenja man yo undenza shushu man yerr..
Is it just me or r we all bng trained 2b psychologists ku TVSA????

Cande
21 Oct 2009 21:22

eish, NOT AGAIN!

Green.arrow
21 Oct 2009 21:36

lol Cande...

if muti was working every monkey will be rich today......ke dumellana lewa mathata sistur,.....
I sso dont blive in such,i was told im naive.

But if i were u sisi ... i'd take the situation to the Lord in prayer and trust Him to handle the supernatural...and then take practical steps. 
Restraining order,pepper spray ANYTHING.....but bowing to such threads is not an option....neways!

Afterall...faith needs to be accompanied by actions....and boldness.

Da Diva
21 Oct 2009 22:23

Hey gal da CHOICE IS YOURS but i dont think dat dis man dzevs yo love. Bt plz b HONEST 2 yo new boyfriend alwaiz tell da truth. I dont buy dat muti stori. STAY AWAY OF DAT RUBBISH SELFISH MAN.

blueroze
22 Oct 2009 08:42

eish, NOT AGAIN!
echoed
a swati sis dolly article with a woman who has a 7 year old, a man issues; muti, and 30. 
kana what it 30-29??

not long we had a 29 swati speaking lady who had a 7 year old; man issues; mom passed on or something like that

guys please give us a break

Tholi
22 Oct 2009 08:57

Woman! is that u again??

zozoe
22 Oct 2009 09:12

lol

lady gaga
22 Oct 2009 09:25

fay i feel for u sister, not about ur life but for amabloggers. they will sort u out shame!

Tshilo
22 Oct 2009 09:38

i use to think im the only1 who have real problems but hey some have seen worse.everything happen for a reason whatever problems ur facing is not meant to kill u but make u.

Sslave
22 Oct 2009 09:50

I know that we are fed up ka distory tsa Zwaziland but hey thanx to them now i have been given an advice i intend to use.

make a statement at police station n make sure he sees his child every sunday morning,guess what you will win this fight,he wont come bcs that time babalazi will be f** him. Thata's at her best! LOLEST

J-Girl
22 Oct 2009 09:51

mxim... when are u guys gonna get tired of playing sis Dolly?

JadaPinkett
22 Oct 2009 09:51

@Fay...........shiya iscefe uqhubekele phambili nempilo but this gu wil wake up one day en uyobe ekudinga en by dat u will be nowhere to be found en having a gud lyf en usho ukuthi wake wazilibazisa ngeze...........mina nej the only thing i can say .........Open your eyes then u'll see what to do my gal........

lady gaga
22 Oct 2009 09:56

He lured me into doing it after showing some pink tablets saying he was preventing (Kuvikela) so I will not fall pregy. lol.............. really now sister, how can u fall for that crap mara ye????? 

its like a guy telling u ngizoyifaka ngiyikhiphe..as if he'll do that for sure bt NO! u know these people will do anything for ikuku.

lady gaga
22 Oct 2009 09:59

He lured me into doing it after showing some pink tablets saying he was preventing (Kuvikela) so I will not fall pregy. lol.............. really now sister, how can u fall for that crap mara ye????? 

its like a guy telling u ngizoyifaka ngiyikhiphe..as if he'll do that for sure bt NO! u know these people will do anything for ikuku.

lady gaga
22 Oct 2009 09:59

He lured me into doing it after showing some pink tablets saying he was preventing (Kuvikela) so I will not fall pregy. lol.............. really now sister, how can u fall for that crap mara ye????? 

its like a guy telling u ngizoyifaka ngiyikhiphe..as if he'll do that for sure bt NO! u know these people will do anything for ikuku.

lady gaga
22 Oct 2009 10:01

it wasn't me!

Best-Achiever
22 Oct 2009 10:03

Sweety My Baby ... has said it all ....

Cody
22 Oct 2009 10:07

true SMB has said it all.

Nokia 5110
22 Oct 2009 11:52

Reply from: JadaPinkett 10/22/2009 3:51:49 PM


@Fay...........shiya iscefe uqhubekele phambili nempilo but this gu wil wake up one day en uyobe ekudinga en by dat u will be nowhere to be found en having a gud lyf en usho ukuthi wake wazilibazisa ngeze...........mina nej the only thing i can say .........Open your eyes then u'll see what to do my gal........ 

@ JP What are u  talking abt, read the artcle kahle dont rush sisi.

mstick
22 Oct 2009 12:05

You must start drinking and while drank tell him you are the biggest witch in your area, you have a snake thats needs a human sacrifice once a year if he keeps bothering you you will make him a sacrifice for your king i.e. the snake.....

I'm really tired of this kind of articles mara re tla reng batho ba nale mathata 

mstick
22 Oct 2009 12:08

it wasn't me!

LOL @ Lady G

TheLady
22 Oct 2009 12:27

"@ JP What are u talking abt, read the artcle kahle dont rush sisi. " LMAO @ Nokia 5110...

I get you Mathata...I should do the same...

Tash 1
22 Oct 2009 12:29

@Philiswa, du wat u think is ryt.

GML
22 Oct 2009 12:34

It's been more than 5 years.

What has he been doing all this time? why come back after 5 years to tell you he wants you back.

Fuck that *bleep!* dear.

hlukana nalendoda and tell him to keep ignoring you like he did when your boy was sick...... Infact tell him to pull one of his disappearing acts again. Akafuni wena sisi, udliwa wunembeza nje qha.

Tell yur uncle to tell his friend to leave you alone. nxa....

poshspice
22 Oct 2009 12:45

Mina, I see a business opprotunity here, form a team of shrinks/consultants and charge a fee,  'TVSA advisory service' we'll categorise problems depending on their nature and complexity. we'll have experts in different fields e.g.

some will be referred to Mathata (what do you think she should deal with), others to BA, Tshidi21, ezomdavazo  Harambe24, SMB,...etc..

Cande
22 Oct 2009 12:53

LOL, coz really they cant give their services for free like these nogaal to disappearin characters. @ least if they have paid deposit they wont dump us with their problems and leave

dali
22 Oct 2009 12:57

lol i agree 100% posh

en cheesa shud be our very own shwashwi as long as she doesnt diss bonang

Lex
22 Oct 2009 14:31

Tell your current boyfie what's up and tell the ex to go ahead with his stupid muti/sangoma story,no harm will come to you dear.


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