When you don’t have children, the whole notion of having a mini-you is euphoric . You imagine a cute little baby that everyone tells you how cute they are, the baby coos and sleeps the whole day until they start crawling around, then running around and eventually being this mini-person with an amazing personality. AND everyone is completely in love with your little one. ALL an imagination!
Rarely do you find people that are in your cycles telling you about the dramas, stress and financial burdens that comes with having a mini-you. They all seem so full of love and an amazing glow that you want to have it, too. You want that feeling of being a parent and having someone depending on you.
Don’t get me wrong; babies are cute, children are wonderful (I have 2!) and once they come into your life – your life is never the same. I will not take away anything from your imaginations and dreams BUT I will bring a little reality check to make sure you have are armed with some of the information most people do not have when they embark on baby-making. To really be certain you want a baby and are ready for the reality of having one.
Most times, the women have the deciding advantage of when they want to have a baby as we know that they can take precautions (even the men). This does not excuse the men from taking precautions and making sure if they don’t want a baby, they don’t dip their dipstick in without covers! BUT this is a topic for another day… My focus is on a woman that falls pregnant without any discussions with partner on the intention to do so, the accidental or unplanned pregnancies. I know you can plan all you want but God has the final say however, some things I personally feel can be planned!
The build-up to popping is always a fabulous and eventful experience – the morning sickness and vomiting (if any), the long periods of sleep, the moodiness, the stretch marks, the swelling of the legs, the weight gain and heaviness, the lovely beeeeeg boobs, the strangers grabbing your stomach at any chance without asking, the repulsion to some foods and an amazing appetite for some weird foods. All good (and worth it) things but heavily uncomfortable when you are going though them alone or with a partner. You just need to know that they happen and are a part of the deal.
Whilst all these wonderful natural changes happen, you go to the doctor or gynae once a month during the first 34 weeks or so. From 34 weeks or so, depending on your doctor and pregnancy issues, you will have weekly visits. The services are not free. Your medical aid (if you are lucky to have one will take a huge strain at this point). Depending on the type of labour you will have when baby is ready to say “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”, you will have to make provision for a paediatrician (who will be there to check the baby) and/or an anesthesiologist (who administers an epidural if you going for c-section). They also need to get paid for their services.
Just as you recover from the big event, whilst everyone is excited about the new addition, you have to pay the hospital for their services as you only get discharged after 2 or 3 days (depending on delivery). You need the baby to start getting immunizations and you also need check-ups 7 days and 6 weeks after the birth of baby. This all costs something. Unless, of course, you are at a public hospital and those mammas traumatize you for the services you are being provided being free…
So, baby is here. AND is all yours… when baby cries or has issues, it is all on you. Eventually the fabulous boobies start cracking when you breastfeed and get flatter than a pancake, the stomach doesn’t wanna get flat, you can’t go far or away without having to wonder about baby and baby is crying at all times of the day and night. Yes, all worth it.
So, my main objective to make sure you understand that as cute and fuzzy as they look, babies come at a price, if you obviously want the best for you and your child make the decisions that you can make (taking precautions, talking to partner , financial planning) an let God make the rest.