Siya foster!!!

Written by smithato from the blog MINE and HERS! on 19 Mar 2010
Favourite this post

Eish...

Ever wondered why were things seems to working according to plan it is the time they get worse. Just on the edge of the break through, you get a break up!

Ok no one broke up with me.It's just that things were starting to jell up and working nicely between me and the girl I really adore.

PROBLEM

I had a pregnant ex girlfriend, well i found out when she was 5 months and we had already separated at the time. I kept the pregnancy issue private because I did not want to upset my current relationship.

The baby was born on the 06/02/2010, and yes! my girl found out just where I wanted to break the news to her. Somebody out there eKasi was just too quick for me. Messed up ain it?

Well look, it was an issue for a while here and there but it is been handled proffessionally. I love my child to bits, this is a feeling no one can give you but God only. Things are not that lekker between the mom and I though.

The fact of the matter is, my girl and I, love each other and busy working on making our relationship work bearing in mind there is a baby involved. I truelly think it is the way you feel when you are with that person you love that counts. Situations come and they get fixed, it is how you fix them and what you remain with that matters the most.

I don't know if I am justiying myself of the wrong (keeping quiet) that I did or wether I know what this really means, or just maybe we are blinded by the love we feel for each other.

We are a perfect couple and I know there is just a lot to deal with here. She is very supportive, even adviced me to have a good relationship with the baby mama just for the sake of the child.

I love her and I know she loves me too... Just did not see this coming. It doesn't have to be like this, but it is...

Advice me bloggers, how should I go about this...? Please I am nothing like J-Z ok...

8 Comments

Tshilo
23 Mar 2010 10:42

i am also in that kind of the situation and i tried 2make a good relationship with the mother of my boyfriend's baby but she does not want anything to do with me.

Da Diva
23 Mar 2010 10:56

.....I am nothing like J-Z..........................i dnt understand this line at all.

Da Diva
23 Mar 2010 10:57

.....I am nothing like J-Z..........................i dnt understand this line at all.

Tshilo
23 Mar 2010 11:00

he is nothing like Jacob Zuma.we all know what JZ is capable of

Cnglemother
23 Mar 2010 11:10

Dont be a coward and let the "love of yo life" make you drift away from yo child's life.just dont rub the Mrs into the babymama's face every chance u get it aint nyc.babymamas aint the same and shouldnt be generalised.be involved as much as u can in angel's life as they grow too quickly and might miss a lot.ungaze ukhethe ikhekhe over igazi lakho(translate for smith mense).if the Mrs has a heart she'll understand that every child deserves a father's love and that's all there is to it.the babymama may be dramatic and nasty but deepdown she appreciate every effort u make towards the wellbeing of yo child.babymama had it tough with yo absence and had to deal with the 9 months alone and now when u decide to show up u parading yo newfound joy-haibo.explain it the nicest and polite terms that you only interested in being a father to yo child and thats all,its hard to digest but when its ova its ova.

baby e
23 Mar 2010 11:26

best formula - get your uncles and ur family to go to the baby's family introduction formal and arrangements for the baby. pay what you have to pay then do visiting arrangements.

maddie
23 Mar 2010 11:34

same thing happened to me(complicated story), he kept quite about it and I found out from other people, I was so hurt and I asked for an explanation he came up with stories about paternity tests, after the test, that is if that took place I was not told about the results but apparently the baby is his.

even though i loved him i just didn't get the kind of closure i was looking for, and constant calls from baby mama, child this and that I just couldn't take it, eventually i realised that i cannot compete with a child and moved on.

it's hard dating a man/woman with a child, u'll always be caught between a rock and hard place. Good luck to those who r in these type of relationship.

cleve
23 Mar 2010 12:30

it's hard dating a man/woman with a child, u'll always be caught between a rock and hard place.

Ja it must be very difficult hey. if it is my child as the woman then I will try and make the father of my child be a part of my babies life. ANd make sure that my boyfriend accepts me AND my son first.

I can't deal with someone else's child though. So I NEVER want to date a man with a child. But you never know because you don't sometimes choose who you fall in love with.

Only TVSA members can reply to this thread. Click here to login or register.