Okay, most of you might know me as one of the newest member and BBA fanatic on TVSA while others…..not so much. Well, on BBA daily updates, when I give out updates I always use the nicknames I’ve already given the housemates in my head or the ones given to them by some of you. I did an update on the names but I guess not everybody saw it so my very good friend Tshd21 gave me an idea to write an article on it. So here it is. Please don’t mind my enthusiasm its just first time excitement.
ALEX- HOUSEHUSBAND we all know that this dude loves to wash the dishes and stay in the kitchen. That is pretty much Alex purpose in the house. He’s like the perfect replacement for Hazel and Ofunneka.
BERNADINA- BOO-YAH she says Boo-yah all the time. She’s the reason why the whole house is saying boo-yah.
BHOKE- NON-EXISTENT HOUSEMATE or NEM for short. This chick always has to remind me that she’s in the house because, I could watch BBA for full day and not catch a glimpse of her. That’s how invisible she is.
CLAYTON- LUCY this name was given to him by tizoz and I’m pretty sure it’s because of his bratty ways.
CONFIDENCE-SENIOR CITIZEN/SHEBEEN QUEEN I gave her senior citizen because she is OBVIOUSLY the oldest person in the house and happens to make sure everybody is aware of that at all times. Shebeen Queen was given to her by my fellow addicts. (Don’t know who in particular though).
DANNY- SHADOW MAN he hardly talks but he is very visible unlike NEM. The thing is though, you always find him hidden in the mist of people/ a person especially senior citizen; with her talking and him nodding and saying “yes…ye..yes”. Most times, I kind of feel like she is the body and he is the shadow.
ERNEST- don’t have a name for this one yet. Any ideas?
FELICIA- NUTCASE oh how I love this woman. She cracks me up every time. She’s like a magician’s hat. You never know what to expect from her. She’s so funny to the point that she uses her accent to her advantage. She’s my favourite, by the way.
HANNI- I don’t have a name for her too. Though she and Lomwe from the very boring but beautiful coupling known as LoHan (thanks to Vina).
JOSSY- SOMEONE’S PAPA or papa for short. It was actually my friends that gave him the name. The reason is because his face and his age seem to be moving parallel to each other. I remember one of my friends saying “there is no way this old man was born in the same decade as I was.” While another, a twenty five year old said, “If this man is twenty eight then I’m two.” Ouch!!!
KAREN- CLEAVAGE MAYHEM have you seen her chest? You should, and then you’d know why.
KIM- CLOSET FREAK when you hear her speak you’d say to yourself, “where did big brother get this well dressed villager from?” that’s until you listen to what she says, see her underwear/lingerie collection and see her dance. Then you’d know that a city hooker has nothing on her.
LOMWE- I’ve got nothing on this one. Help me out here people.
LOTUS- GILT we all know it’s mostly pigs that have what she has one her nose on their nose. She also has another name on the side UNFORTUNATE CINDERELLA WHO HAS A DRUNK FAIRY GODMOTHER, but that’s to address her dress sense.
MICHAEL- ITCHY PANTS we all know how this dude’s crotch was on fire last week. He was jumping from woman to woman and got rejected thrice but I can’t say so much now. Maybe I might start believing Felicia when she called him to his face…….CLOSET GAY but you guys know she was joking, right?
MILLICENT- HORNY SCHOOL GIRL or HSG thanks to Tazteeq for this name. What can I say about this woman? You know what I’ll have to rephrase that, what can I not say bout this woman? Let’s see; she kissed Alex on the first night; wears the shortest of shorts and gowns even though she has a cellulite situation; she has flashed Wendall her underwear a couple of times while volunteering to pop his cherry all in the name of a joke; she has been a human beer/wine glass; she has grinded on Lomwe, Alex, Lucy, Itchy Pants, the furniture ,the mirrors etc need I say more?
MISS P- SIDEKICK if not for the separation she would have been the fly that follows boo-yah around and laughs at nothing that Wendall doesn’t say.
MUMBA- MUTE have you heard her speak? I know I haven’t.
NIC- FLUBBER everything is just bouncing, his man-boobies, his tummy, chin…you name it, its bouncing.
NKULI- BIMBO/ORGASM thanks to tizoz and carino for these wonderful names. We all know she’s and empty head, she’s always, “like…yeah” all the time and don’t get me started on her laugh and noises plus the way her face is while she’s doing them……#stick my index finger in my mouth#
SHARON O- WALLPAPER I would have given her mute but she seems to be very pretty so I thought to myself, “what is beautiful but yet quiet?” and then it hit me, “wallpaper!!!!”
VIMBAI- BRAT this girl is a pain. She talks ish and is always “my mother….my brother….we speak mandarin…I love African men….I am a woman of substance only men of substance value me….she is no competition for me….why are you bullying me….don’t you know you are supposed to be a role model.” Argh, get a grip!
VINA- CANARY I love this girl but that voice…. That is one voice you don’t want waking you up in the morning. You know when a canary starts whistling all you just want to do is to shove biscuits down its throat? That’s all I think about doing when I hear Vina talking.
WENDALL- BORE/KAREN’S BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE all he does is to scatter his hair, smoke, drink, steal drinks, make three sentences and laugh at nothing. Most of the time I think he needs Prozac or lithium because it’s like he’s always nervous.
WEZA- SLUR her voice and the way she talks is enough to send you to bed. It’s like the unintentional lullaby.
ZEUS- CUTE LITTLE BOY or cuttie for short he’s the one you say “aww, you look so cute” while pinching his cheeks. He’s the guy you take home to mama after all the Lomwe’s and Alex’s have torn your heart to pieces. He’s the best friend to lover kind of guy. He’s the one you can always call when you’re feeling down and need someone to talk to. He is also the dude that always gets “I love you like my brother” line and you all know what that means……..Mr. Friend Zone.
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