Guys, I really need some advice, like seriously. And I know most of you don't mince your words so here it goes:
I'll be 27 towards the end of the year and my man just turned 25 this month (OMG, I didn't realize how old I was), but ya anyway we met through mutual friends and within a month of meeting we were inseparable. Everything just moved so fast. At the time I was sharing an apartment with my bestfriend and she was going through a rough patch ad decided to move back home to her mom. So I found myself looking for someone to take over her half of the apartment and since my man was practically living with me, we came up with the idea of him moving in with me until my lease expired in December. So after a month of dating, we moved in together. Around November we had to decide what’s going to transpire after the lease expires end of next month: find another place together or separately. And that’s when he dropped a bomb on me, “I’m not ready to live together and I think we should live separately and still continue with the relationship”. BLOW NUMBER 1
To say I was shocked would be an under-statement. We were doing so good. Anyway I was heartbroken but oh well. Then a few days later I find out I’m pregnant. Now this will definitely complicate things. (And please no lectures about unprotected sex – we were living together, in a monogamous relationship). I break the news to him and he went on about “We not ready to be parents, you should have an abortion”. BLOW NUMBER 2. (And by the way, he already has a 4 year old child with some chick he was shagging back in Varsity, nothing serious and his family is raising this child). Back to now, I tell him me being pregnant doesn’t have to change anything and he can still bounce if he wants to but one thing I will not do is abort as I’m not the first nor last chick to get knocked up and left. Anyway, fast forward past the many arguments and crying and he suddenly does a full 360 turn. Its suddenly become our baby now and we’ll find a new apartment together and we must move away from all the bad influences (friends) and start over: Brand New Year, Brand New Place. He comes to my Gynae visits with me now and starts spoiling me. I find it all a bit odd but I say okay (Still assessing the sudden change of heart and kinda going with the flow).
Nigga becomes really really sweet. Christmas break comes and we both go home. And the unthinkable happens. I have a miscarriage (which didn’t come as a surprise because dude had really really stressed the ish outta me). That was BLOW NUMBER 3. Thought he’d coming running to the coast to be by my side while I was in hospital but he didn’t. He calls me everyday, tells me “Everything will be okay and we need to both get back to Jo’burg so we can look for our new apartment. The day he was coming back to Jo’burg he has a terrible accident (in his home town) and was hospitalized. Had to come back and search for the new apartment alone, pack up our entire apartment and move us (all on my own). Toyed with the idea of flying out to be with him but told myself I need to hold the fort this side. After a week of hospitalization he calls telling me “ He’s not getting any better and wants to come home and be with me”, I book him a flight back home and I become his nurse. I take leave from work and I nurse him back to health. Promises me the moon and the stars while he was injured, soon as the bastard heals he starts putting his friends first and just creating a lot of tension between us. BLOW NUMBER 4.
We sign a new lease together for the new apartment on the 1st of June for 12 months. A week and a half later he says he’s been thinking about moving out but still keeping the relationship. WTF??? Not this again! He says “There’s things about my past I haven’t told you and I’m evil. I love you and I don’t wanna lose you. I’m at that point where I’m asking myself if you’re the one and I think we need to live apart for a while so that when we finally move in together it’s permanent and we do it right” Hmmmm… Yep, BLOW NUMBER 5.
I just don’t know what to make of him and our relationship. I’m starting to think after 13 months I know nothing about this man.
And let me just add that I’m a very pretty girl, great personality, outgoing, cook, clean and I have man practically banging down my door. Not too sound cocky or anything, but I’m most men’s dream. But I don’t want other man. It’s him I want. But now I’m starting to think I should set him lose.
Guys, what do you think is really going on here?