Single, Celibate and Happy

ayashah
20 Jun 2012 09:35

thank you woman of God, am left flabugusted!

u very ryt esp the waiting part
the way i understand it the bible in the book of matthew it says seek first ye the kingdom of God n the rest shall follow. which means marriage, jobs n everything cometh as a blessing, to us

so we must wait for the ryt tym for the bible sats God knw even be4 we were born listen ilike this one which says he approved you ,he have got plans for you plans to make you prosper. he cannot aprprove you for nothing. oh Lord i feel like preaching

let me talk about appoited tym (habakkuk 2 vearse 3 in king james vision it says :
For the vision is yet for an appointed time...though it tarry, wait for it...”

God has an appointed time to fulfill the visions, dreams and desires in your heart. Just because it has taken a long time or because you’ve tried and failed doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. Don’t give up on those dreams! Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. Our God is a faithful God. No matter how long it’s been, no matter how impossible things looks, if you’ll stay in faith, your appointed time is coming.
Remember, every dream that’s in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God put it in there. And not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Hold on to that vision today by declaring, “My time is coming. God is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I will fulfill my destiny!” As you continue to hold on to that vision and speak life over your dreams, you’ll see them begin to take shape. You’ll see your faith grow, you’ll see your hope strengthen, and you’ll see yourself step into the destiny God has prepared for you!

Chix
20 Jun 2012 10:54

Good Morning beautiful women of the Lord!!!

Firstly let me first thank you Mangqezu for a very nice article that is well written and contains a lot of spiritual being!!! Many people do not realise that God lives in us. When other peope start the Godly talk, they tend to get cynical. As humans we have both good and bad in us but it all depends on which one you feed the most. If you feed bad you will be Evil, if you feed good you will be godly!!!

With that being said I laso would love to partake and be a part of this spiritual journey with you guys. God has been a great God to me and my family but mostly to my marriage. I have my scriptures which keep me grounded and they bring comfort to me in trying times. I have experienced so much for my age, such that I never wanna be anywhere else besides God's lap because i have found comfort, warmth, health and joy there.

It is true that sometimes we miss God's blessing because we are either immature or the time hasn't come. But most of the times I think we miss his blessing because we are impatient. By that I mean sometimes we ask God for something and our Faith is in a certain level and by the time God time comes we have lost a part of our faith. In His word he says he wants to to be faithful to him, to pray reverently and we shall receive. When he says be still and know that I am God (Ps 46 vs 10) he means exactly that, we should learn to realise Him in every situation we find ourselves in. Sometimes we let the world swip us away from our Purpose. When we seek his face, we find our path...the path he made for us because each and everyone of us has their own path to walk on!!!

Thank you again Mangqezu for this sweet message!!!

VusiK
20 Jun 2012 11:42

Being Single, Celibate and Happy as a christian is not an easy task and that's putting it mildly. There are many temptations around us and one cannot most certainly do it on their own. We need God's guidance.

What is so difficult?
I do not understand what difficulty there could be ... help me understand .

Are you suggesting that there is difficulty in living up to promises one makes to oneself? ... if so ... adjust the expectations and the promises.

There is really very little difficulty in sticking by one's commitment to oneself.
The question I ask people in secular religion regarding these kinds of situations is ...

If one cannot fulfill promises they make to themselves ...
What gives one the impression they are remotely capable of living up to promises made to their deities?

For me ... it discredits a person to proclaim their faith when they are unable to live up to personal promises and make claims of human weakness as a shield to justify their inability to follow through on what they commit to themselves.

I think one is doomed to fail their deity if they fail themselves.

Religion is intended to be a way of life ...
People unfortunately love to live a life of convenience ...

unfortunately .... philosophy ... especially religious philosophy ... happens to be a minefield of dogma just waiting to ambush a person ...

Just live, make the best of it, and make adjustments where possible.

After the first instance of sex ... there is NOTHING one can do or change to alter its reality ... either one has it, or one does not ... there is no philosophy or religion about it.

ayashah
20 Jun 2012 11:49

you got a point woman of God

yes faith works thats y the bibl there's nothing that pleases God if not faith, n look at the defination of faith. (faith oh my God) is a substance we use to get things which we hope for. so if we lose/lost our faith how are we going to recieve our blessings? actually faith is a key. i remember a certain king 1 of his discible was sick so the king wen't to jesus and he said just say a word n my discible will be healed

and wat did Jesus says/ i have never seen this kind of faith. and surely it was done cos the king belieced has faith that whn Jesus spoke a word all shall be well with her

here anada e,g do you remember that woman who has issu of blood . te bible she spend lot f money trying to find hep bt one day she says to herself if i may only tourch the garment of his clothes i shall be healed and surely it was so, and Jesus use top say ur faith has made you to be well. this shows exactly that faith is a key. faithbelives and faith recieved. wish i can say more but unfortunatly am knoking off for am going home see you on tuesday loe you

Chix
20 Jun 2012 10:54

Good Morning beautiful women of the Lord!!!

Firstly let me first thank you Mangqezu for a very nice article that is well written and contains a lot of spiritual being!!! Many people do not realise that God lives in us. When other peope start the Godly talk, they tend to get cynical. As humans we have both good and bad in us but it all depends on which one you feed the most. If you feed bad you will be Evil, if you feed good you will be godly!!!

With that being said I laso would love to partake and be a part of this spiritual journey with you guys. God has been a great God to me and my family but mostly to my marriage. I have my scriptures which keep me grounded and they bring comfort to me in trying times. I have experienced so much for my age, such that I never wanna be anywhere else besides God's lap because i have found comfort, warmth, health and joy there.

It is true that sometimes we miss God's blessing because we are either immature or the time hasn't come. But most of the times I think we miss his blessing because we are impatient. By that I mean sometimes we ask God for something and our Faith is in a certain level and by the time God time comes we have lost a part of our faith. In His word he says he wants to to be faithful to him, to pray reverently and we shall receive. When he says be still and know that I am God (Ps 46 vs 10) he means exactly that, we should learn to realise Him in every situation we find ourselves in. Sometimes we let the world swip us away from our Purpose. When we seek his face, we find our path...the path he made for us because each and everyone of us has their own path to walk on!!!

Thank you again Mangqezu for this sweet message!!!

VusiK
20 Jun 2012 11:42

Being Single, Celibate and Happy as a christian is not an easy task and that's putting it mildly. There are many temptations around us and one cannot most certainly do it on their own. We need God's guidance.

What is so difficult?
I do not understand what difficulty there could be ... help me understand .

Are you suggesting that there is difficulty in living up to promises one makes to oneself? ... if so ... adjust the expectations and the promises.

There is really very little difficulty in sticking by one's commitment to oneself.
The question I ask people in secular religion regarding these kinds of situations is ...

If one cannot fulfill promises they make to themselves ...
What gives one the impression they are remotely capable of living up to promises made to their deities?

For me ... it discredits a person to proclaim their faith when they are unable to live up to personal promises and make claims of human weakness as a shield to justify their inability to follow through on what they commit to themselves.

I think one is doomed to fail their deity if they fail themselves.

Religion is intended to be a way of life ...
People unfortunately love to live a life of convenience ...

unfortunately .... philosophy ... especially religious philosophy ... happens to be a minefield of dogma just waiting to ambush a person ...

Just live, make the best of it, and make adjustments where possible.

After the first instance of sex ... there is NOTHING one can do or change to alter its reality ... either one has it, or one does not ... there is no philosophy or religion about it.

ayashah
20 Jun 2012 11:49

you got a point woman of God

yes faith works thats y the bibl there's nothing that pleases God if not faith, n look at the defination of faith. (faith oh my God) is a substance we use to get things which we hope for. so if we lose/lost our faith how are we going to recieve our blessings? actually faith is a key. i remember a certain king 1 of his discible was sick so the king wen't to jesus and he said just say a word n my discible will be healed

and wat did Jesus says/ i have never seen this kind of faith. and surely it was done cos the king belieced has faith that whn Jesus spoke a word all shall be well with her

here anada e,g do you remember that woman who has issu of blood . te bible she spend lot f money trying to find hep bt one day she says to herself if i may only tourch the garment of his clothes i shall be healed and surely it was so, and Jesus use top say ur faith has made you to be well. this shows exactly that faith is a key. faithbelives and faith recieved. wish i can say more but unfortunatly am knoking off for am going home see you on tuesday loe you

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 08:26

@VusiK only God can judge me

At least I know my weaknesses and confess them I dont pretend I do not sin I'm still learning and like any child I will make mistakes on the way but the Holy Spirit is here to guide me.

I respect ur opinions on the issue

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 10:09

I don't recall passing judgment on anyone.

look ... we talk about things ... anything and everything.

If the writer of anything is think skinned ..
please qualify that this is the case so that people like me can avoid joining the conversation because some of us will interrogate some fact we find inconsistent, or incongruos with some other matters.

I rarely get personal ... This is best viewed in my avoidance of the use of the word "YOU" in most of my writing ... opting for third person impersonal "ONE"

mbulela
21 Jun 2012 10:24

@vusiK, so you have never failed yourself? Every promise you made to self you kept?

Cutie Pie
21 Jun 2012 10:27

I hope I won't appear as judgemental when I make this comment. The Zanele Mbokazi is the same woman mostan who had an affair with a married man before snatching her current hubby (According to Sunday World). She destroyed the other woman's family and hurt them badly (WHILE HOLDING A BIBLE). I understand people repent and their sins are forgivem etc, BUT while she was doing all that she was SPEAKING IN TOUNGES AND CARRYING the bible even to the loo. With this statement I mean nothing can make me listen to whatever she says. I'm am so tired of the so-called-Christians trying to teach us about morals while their dont have any.

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 10:32

As an adult ... NO, I do not fail myself on my commitments.

i have not failed myself or my commitments in 20 years
Goes back to making responsible and realistic commitments.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 11:05

@Cutie Pie ukukholwa is a choice I will not say I do not believe in God becos X does this and that yet they profess to be a christian. Ngisho even in the bible there were inceku ezawayo ngey'lingo but they soldiered on with God's grace. Likewise all of us here emhlabeni are also sinners. I just take what I can use in my life from everyone becos like the bible says let he who has no sin cast the first stone.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 08:26

@VusiK only God can judge me

At least I know my weaknesses and confess them I dont pretend I do not sin I'm still learning and like any child I will make mistakes on the way but the Holy Spirit is here to guide me.

I respect ur opinions on the issue

poshspice
21 Jun 2012 11:43

@cutiePie please be carefull of the things you read in the tabloids or hearsay....Don't take what is written as the gospel truth. No one has proof Zanele was esponsible for the break up of that particular family.

I used to believe tabloids until I entered my organisation where I've been romantically linked to all men I befirend or have cordial relations with and I've never dated in my workplace.

It made me realise that rumours and gossip have potential to destroy a person's reputation as people believe what they hear and you don't get a chance to correct those misconceptions. You hate Zanele and she would never get a chance to present facts or her side of the story to you...

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 10:09

I don't recall passing judgment on anyone.

look ... we talk about things ... anything and everything.

If the writer of anything is think skinned ..
please qualify that this is the case so that people like me can avoid joining the conversation because some of us will interrogate some fact we find inconsistent, or incongruos with some other matters.

I rarely get personal ... This is best viewed in my avoidance of the use of the word "YOU" in most of my writing ... opting for third person impersonal "ONE"

mbulela
21 Jun 2012 10:24

@vusiK, so you have never failed yourself? Every promise you made to self you kept?

Cutie Pie
21 Jun 2012 10:27

I hope I won't appear as judgemental when I make this comment. The Zanele Mbokazi is the same woman mostan who had an affair with a married man before snatching her current hubby (According to Sunday World). She destroyed the other woman's family and hurt them badly (WHILE HOLDING A BIBLE). I understand people repent and their sins are forgivem etc, BUT while she was doing all that she was SPEAKING IN TOUNGES AND CARRYING the bible even to the loo. With this statement I mean nothing can make me listen to whatever she says. I'm am so tired of the so-called-Christians trying to teach us about morals while their dont have any.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 12:28

Baena, nna I have a relationship question. Please give a sister some pre-marriage counciling typa views (I am not getting married anyday soon, I'm just curious). What is expected of the wife and husband, what are their roles? And does getting married change relationship dynamics...especially to the point where the man as the head of the house must always have the last word, if wife doesn't agree, for peace sake she must just agree with hubby and learn to live with that situation she doesn't agree with? :D.

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 10:32

As an adult ... NO, I do not fail myself on my commitments.

i have not failed myself or my commitments in 20 years
Goes back to making responsible and realistic commitments.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 11:05

@Cutie Pie ukukholwa is a choice I will not say I do not believe in God becos X does this and that yet they profess to be a christian. Ngisho even in the bible there were inceku ezawayo ngey'lingo but they soldiered on with God's grace. Likewise all of us here emhlabeni are also sinners. I just take what I can use in my life from everyone becos like the bible says let he who has no sin cast the first stone.

Cutie Pie
21 Jun 2012 12:56

@Green.arrow - It depends on who you are married to dear, there is no blanket rule per se for marriage. i.e you are married to a rural man who grew up with a mom who does everything in the house, he may expect you to do the same as his mom may be the "model wife" in his eyes. Having said that the very same man may see that as slavery and expect the opposite from you.

The best is to ask your mom. Mina my mom told me that IT IS MY SOLE RESPONSIBILITY to feed my man, irrespective of career demands. I therefore cook atleast 5 days a week. I was also told that it is my responsibility that he looks presentable when he goes to work. Although I don't physical wash nor iron, but I delegate and oversee.

What is expected of men also depends on each woman. Some women expect a man to be ONLY provider while some expect the man to be MAIN provider.

The only thing that is common though is that everyone wants to be respected, heard and loved. No one wants to be cheated on.

poshspice
21 Jun 2012 11:43

@cutiePie please be carefull of the things you read in the tabloids or hearsay....Don't take what is written as the gospel truth. No one has proof Zanele was esponsible for the break up of that particular family.

I used to believe tabloids until I entered my organisation where I've been romantically linked to all men I befirend or have cordial relations with and I've never dated in my workplace.

It made me realise that rumours and gossip have potential to destroy a person's reputation as people believe what they hear and you don't get a chance to correct those misconceptions. You hate Zanele and she would never get a chance to present facts or her side of the story to you...

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 12:28

Baena, nna I have a relationship question. Please give a sister some pre-marriage counciling typa views (I am not getting married anyday soon, I'm just curious). What is expected of the wife and husband, what are their roles? And does getting married change relationship dynamics...especially to the point where the man as the head of the house must always have the last word, if wife doesn't agree, for peace sake she must just agree with hubby and learn to live with that situation she doesn't agree with? :D.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 13:51

@ Cutie Pie I agree with ur points

To add on the roles have overtime overlapped in my opinion it just depends who you are with. I cook most weekdays, wknds its take outs or he cooks. I didn't put him on the duty roster but he just offered to do it to help me. He's a very hands on father too. Sundays I practically do nothing becos he baths, prepares the baby's food and feeds her but if I want to do it too on the day there's no hard and fast rule that says I cant but some men wud never do that and he always wakes up to make the baby a bottle at night if she needs one whilst I'm snoring away lol.

The one rule I've always been told is that even if you have hired help in your house your bedroom and your linen are your sole responsibility the helper should NEVER touch those. Some disagree but I just follow that.

in terms of who is to provide I've always believed a man shud at the very least be the main provider . Some women that I've come across also hold full time jobs but they will tell you their salaries are for 'treats' that is the man has to provides all the necessities, some go 50/50, others split the roles like one of my friends says the hubby pays the bond, his car, and other main bills she pays for her car and groceries so there's no one size fits all.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 13:55

Thanx Cutie for the roles view. Mme waka ke single parent who is still very much hurt by my father, I wonder what she will advice. But growing up with my grandfather in the house, she did everything, cook 9 times a week and washed and ironed, so I suspect she'll say the same thing. What about in 'arguments' Cutie, or discussions and decisions? What if you just are not agreeing? And when he is not willing to compromise, its his way or no way, and worse when as a woman (with ur intuitive self) you know that you are RIGHT, he is wrong and he just cannot see it. And say you are willing to compromise but the man doesn't even want to compromise he wants it his way. What gives there?

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 13:57

@mangqezu. I hear you too sisi. Your view on the 'decisions' part?

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:00

Another question. Communication. I understand communication to mean TALK, talk about everything, good sexy or not. When does 'silence' solve matters? I have observed that talking doesn't always help, sometimes it makes matters worse. So what's goind on with this one?

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 14:00

When the battle of will persists ...

Your will should prevail .
all the time
Regardless of the risk of loss.

How can one be true to themselves whilst compromising one's ethics & beliefs for others.

PS. Many men are also single & Celibate.It is not the exclusive domain of women.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:09

Vuss. I'm gonna post that on FB.

Cutie Pie
21 Jun 2012 12:56

@Green.arrow - It depends on who you are married to dear, there is no blanket rule per se for marriage. i.e you are married to a rural man who grew up with a mom who does everything in the house, he may expect you to do the same as his mom may be the "model wife" in his eyes. Having said that the very same man may see that as slavery and expect the opposite from you.

The best is to ask your mom. Mina my mom told me that IT IS MY SOLE RESPONSIBILITY to feed my man, irrespective of career demands. I therefore cook atleast 5 days a week. I was also told that it is my responsibility that he looks presentable when he goes to work. Although I don't physical wash nor iron, but I delegate and oversee.

What is expected of men also depends on each woman. Some women expect a man to be ONLY provider while some expect the man to be MAIN provider.

The only thing that is common though is that everyone wants to be respected, heard and loved. No one wants to be cheated on.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:10

But Vuss I know I want you to rest. But nkare you can elaborate further.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 14:17

@ Green.arrow what I know is that your husband's God given role is to lead you and provide for you therefore you need to allow him to do just that unless u like my friend who believes the hubby is the head but she is the hat and therefore she's on top of the head lol.

On a serious note as per the book I've said I've bn reading it his God given right to finalise important family decisions but only after first consulting with his wife and children if need be. Like they say you need to accept him which means accept his judgements as well. Easier said that done in my opinion.

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 14:19

Not a chance ...
I've said my bit ...
Build on it !

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 14:20

@ VusiK I never meant to discriminate men on the article. I just started this blog at ayashah's suggestion that we start something for sisters to encourage and motivate each other on christian values just to be clear lol

caro
21 Jun 2012 14:21

cutie pie just go awaay ,we r listening to the word of God n wena u cum here with ur Voet VOET nonsense,every person sins and then comes their time of delivery,so who r we to judge?

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:24

@Mangqe.....mmm...I'm inclined to agree because I'd like to belive I'm cultured. BUT are you saying that, even after he consulted and you don't agree, he as the man, the head is allowed to decide based on his view, and ignore the fact that the wife disagreed?....how does the wife live with that decision harmoniously, without any resentment? @Vuss, eish reading your comment again confused me. I Deleted the FB post as fast as I posted it.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:25

Lol Vuss I actually pictured u stomping your foot saying 'not a chance'.....pretty plzzz....:)

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 14:26

@Mangqezu ...

I can only go by the presentation ...
I make no assumptions beyond what is written.It would be an injustice to presume to know how any other person thinks & feels.
I only mentioned it because it happens to be presented in a very sexist inward manner... that is it a uniquely female situation.

The only unique thing exclusive to women is pregnancy & childbirth ... this we know

I am merely encouraging people to move beyond sex and colour in addressing and discussing human issues.

We make very little progress in confronting the realities of life ring-fencing topics to any specific group.

Dhee
21 Jun 2012 14:28

wHO CREATED THE STATEMENT THAT THE MAN HAS THE LAST WORD AS THE HEARD OF THE HOUSE? Just curious!

Dhee
21 Jun 2012 14:30

Sorry i meant "HEAD" of the house!

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 14:37

@ Dhee and Green.arrow

The family can be likened to an organisation in a simplistic manner (if we have to say votes the leader being the one who has the majority vote) in an organisation who makes the final decisions......its the leader angithi

So in the family as the husband is the leader why should it be different

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:50

@mangqe....I'm inclined to agree , as I said before because I like to view myself as cultured. Sigh....if that's how the cookie crumbles in marriage then it is a bloody different kind of relationship in the history of relations. Amongst friends and family and colleagues, I do not just agree with everything, where I feel strongly, I disagree or agree or compromise (which is a two way street). Whilst we are in a courtship, I also do the same, I go with what I feel strongly about coz otherwise I won't be happy. Now in marriage suddenly his way goes? I'm struggling to accept that hle. @Mbulela, Makisto if you are somewhere arround, what do the men teachings say at church.

bezu
21 Jun 2012 14:55

Hi guyz
@green.arrow

Each marriage or relationship is different sweety, what might work for my marriage/home might not work for you... it all depends on the you and ur men how u manage or choose to live.....

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:56

Okay then @manngqe...suppose for a split second I concider that life has to go on, something has to give, and I give in....obviously the fact that I inherently disagree with this decisions will crop up in future...is that some of the things that ne has to deal with in marriage. Learning to live with the fact that ' I ddnt agree with this , I still don't...but it is here...and life must go on'....?

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 15:01

@mangqezu ... The family is the most fundamental type & form of organization ...

Everything that everyone is .... is defined fundamentally there ... it defines who & what we were, are and are going to be.

If you wish ... family is what defines our realities... and lack thereof often fails our realities.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 15:02

@bezu..I know hun. I just need some... Council. And ill bring it home.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 15:05

@Green decisions are made in organisations that we may or may not agree with but we learn to live with them........rmb when I say follow his leadership I don't mean when he's really like going off the rails to give an extreme example wanting to use the household money for gambling or irresponsible actions but having said that apparently u are supposed to let him make the mistakes so he can learn from them but don't go back and say I told u so cos now you are wounding his male pride lol

What exactly did u have in mind that you think would make you disagree to the point where u're unhappy with his decision?

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 13:51

@ Cutie Pie I agree with ur points

To add on the roles have overtime overlapped in my opinion it just depends who you are with. I cook most weekdays, wknds its take outs or he cooks. I didn't put him on the duty roster but he just offered to do it to help me. He's a very hands on father too. Sundays I practically do nothing becos he baths, prepares the baby's food and feeds her but if I want to do it too on the day there's no hard and fast rule that says I cant but some men wud never do that and he always wakes up to make the baby a bottle at night if she needs one whilst I'm snoring away lol.

The one rule I've always been told is that even if you have hired help in your house your bedroom and your linen are your sole responsibility the helper should NEVER touch those. Some disagree but I just follow that.

in terms of who is to provide I've always believed a man shud at the very least be the main provider . Some women that I've come across also hold full time jobs but they will tell you their salaries are for 'treats' that is the man has to provides all the necessities, some go 50/50, others split the roles like one of my friends says the hubby pays the bond, his car, and other main bills she pays for her car and groceries so there's no one size fits all.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 13:55

Thanx Cutie for the roles view. Mme waka ke single parent who is still very much hurt by my father, I wonder what she will advice. But growing up with my grandfather in the house, she did everything, cook 9 times a week and washed and ironed, so I suspect she'll say the same thing. What about in 'arguments' Cutie, or discussions and decisions? What if you just are not agreeing? And when he is not willing to compromise, its his way or no way, and worse when as a woman (with ur intuitive self) you know that you are RIGHT, he is wrong and he just cannot see it. And say you are willing to compromise but the man doesn't even want to compromise he wants it his way. What gives there?

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 13:57

@mangqezu. I hear you too sisi. Your view on the 'decisions' part?

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:00

Another question. Communication. I understand communication to mean TALK, talk about everything, good sexy or not. When does 'silence' solve matters? I have observed that talking doesn't always help, sometimes it makes matters worse. So what's goind on with this one?

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 14:00

When the battle of will persists ...

Your will should prevail .
all the time
Regardless of the risk of loss.

How can one be true to themselves whilst compromising one's ethics & beliefs for others.

PS. Many men are also single & Celibate.It is not the exclusive domain of women.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:09

Vuss. I'm gonna post that on FB.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:10

But Vuss I know I want you to rest. But nkare you can elaborate further.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 14:17

@ Green.arrow what I know is that your husband's God given role is to lead you and provide for you therefore you need to allow him to do just that unless u like my friend who believes the hubby is the head but she is the hat and therefore she's on top of the head lol.

On a serious note as per the book I've said I've bn reading it his God given right to finalise important family decisions but only after first consulting with his wife and children if need be. Like they say you need to accept him which means accept his judgements as well. Easier said that done in my opinion.

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 14:19

Not a chance ...
I've said my bit ...
Build on it !

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 14:20

@ VusiK I never meant to discriminate men on the article. I just started this blog at ayashah's suggestion that we start something for sisters to encourage and motivate each other on christian values just to be clear lol

caro
21 Jun 2012 14:21

cutie pie just go awaay ,we r listening to the word of God n wena u cum here with ur Voet VOET nonsense,every person sins and then comes their time of delivery,so who r we to judge?

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:24

@Mangqe.....mmm...I'm inclined to agree because I'd like to belive I'm cultured. BUT are you saying that, even after he consulted and you don't agree, he as the man, the head is allowed to decide based on his view, and ignore the fact that the wife disagreed?....how does the wife live with that decision harmoniously, without any resentment? @Vuss, eish reading your comment again confused me. I Deleted the FB post as fast as I posted it.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:25

Lol Vuss I actually pictured u stomping your foot saying 'not a chance'.....pretty plzzz....:)

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 14:26

@Mangqezu ...

I can only go by the presentation ...
I make no assumptions beyond what is written.It would be an injustice to presume to know how any other person thinks & feels.
I only mentioned it because it happens to be presented in a very sexist inward manner... that is it a uniquely female situation.

The only unique thing exclusive to women is pregnancy & childbirth ... this we know

I am merely encouraging people to move beyond sex and colour in addressing and discussing human issues.

We make very little progress in confronting the realities of life ring-fencing topics to any specific group.

Dhee
21 Jun 2012 14:28

wHO CREATED THE STATEMENT THAT THE MAN HAS THE LAST WORD AS THE HEARD OF THE HOUSE? Just curious!

Dhee
21 Jun 2012 14:30

Sorry i meant "HEAD" of the house!

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 14:37

@ Dhee and Green.arrow

The family can be likened to an organisation in a simplistic manner (if we have to say votes the leader being the one who has the majority vote) in an organisation who makes the final decisions......its the leader angithi

So in the family as the husband is the leader why should it be different

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:50

@mangqe....I'm inclined to agree , as I said before because I like to view myself as cultured. Sigh....if that's how the cookie crumbles in marriage then it is a bloody different kind of relationship in the history of relations. Amongst friends and family and colleagues, I do not just agree with everything, where I feel strongly, I disagree or agree or compromise (which is a two way street). Whilst we are in a courtship, I also do the same, I go with what I feel strongly about coz otherwise I won't be happy. Now in marriage suddenly his way goes? I'm struggling to accept that hle. @Mbulela, Makisto if you are somewhere arround, what do the men teachings say at church.

bezu
21 Jun 2012 14:55

Hi guyz
@green.arrow

Each marriage or relationship is different sweety, what might work for my marriage/home might not work for you... it all depends on the you and ur men how u manage or choose to live.....

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 14:56

Okay then @manngqe...suppose for a split second I concider that life has to go on, something has to give, and I give in....obviously the fact that I inherently disagree with this decisions will crop up in future...is that some of the things that ne has to deal with in marriage. Learning to live with the fact that ' I ddnt agree with this , I still don't...but it is here...and life must go on'....?

VusiK
21 Jun 2012 15:01

@mangqezu ... The family is the most fundamental type & form of organization ...

Everything that everyone is .... is defined fundamentally there ... it defines who & what we were, are and are going to be.

If you wish ... family is what defines our realities... and lack thereof often fails our realities.

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 15:02

@bezu..I know hun. I just need some... Council. And ill bring it home.

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 15:05

@Green decisions are made in organisations that we may or may not agree with but we learn to live with them........rmb when I say follow his leadership I don't mean when he's really like going off the rails to give an extreme example wanting to use the household money for gambling or irresponsible actions but having said that apparently u are supposed to let him make the mistakes so he can learn from them but don't go back and say I told u so cos now you are wounding his male pride lol

What exactly did u have in mind that you think would make you disagree to the point where u're unhappy with his decision?

mangqezu
21 Jun 2012 15:13

@Green.arrow u can check another article I've added on this blog called Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood I hope some of your answers will get answered there

Green.arrow
21 Jun 2012 15:14

I hear you @mangqe...the issues of contention are not even as bad as gambling. My big issue is my preference not being acknowledged or empathized with at the very least. I wanna be assured that even though we are going with Mr's way, that my way was not wrong and maybe sometimes we can dip into it :). BUT For the extreme case where wife feels hubby is wrong and vice versa and there is no compromising, I especially get you when u say, 'let him have lead it', if it doesn't work, don't rub it in, suggest another way. *breathes out*.

Favoured
22 Jun 2012 09:27

wow

i was also gonna suggest you get "secrets of fascinating womanhood" it will really open ur eyes, you will start to view men in a different way

Favoured
22 Jun 2012 09:27

wow

i was also gonna suggest you get "secrets of fascinating womanhood" it will really open ur eyes, you will start to view men in a different way

MsBots
25 Jun 2012 11:26

Being single, celibate and happy is a personal choice and can be mabe easier by the people around you and situations you choose not to be in.

MsBots
25 Jun 2012 11:26

Being single, celibate and happy is a personal choice and can be mabe easier by the people around you and situations you choose not to be in.

MsBots
25 Jun 2012 11:26

Being single, celibate and happy is a personal choice and can be mabe easier by the people around you and situations you choose not to be in.

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