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Who is to be blamed?

Written by zdwesha from the blog STOLEN ARTICLE on 31 Jul 2012
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My name is Mrs Olajumoke Davis, I'm 35 years old and I've been married for the past 17 years.

For 17 years I've been praying for the fruit of the womb.
I and my husband have been to different hospitals for medical check up, but all to No avail. The Doctors said we are both fertile (meaning we can Both make babies).
I married my husband at age 18 while I was still a virgin.
My husband(Joshua) has always been there for me in everything, understanding and supportive in our trying times.
About 2 years ago, my childhood friend advised me on what to do....following her advice I remembered "Bayo" my 22 years old house help. Bayo has been with us since he was 8 years old, we treated him as if he was ours.

I started talking to him about his personal life. Few months later, my husband traveled to his home town to see his people, so I utilized the opportunity!
I locked Bayo in my room and begged him to have sex with me,He refused at first, then I threatened him that I would Send him back to d village....he later agreed, so we had sex 5 times b4 day break!
The next day my husband came back.
13days later, I Became pregnant, unknowing to Bayo that I was pregnant, I gave him 1million naira, told him to take d money and Go back to the village........the lil chap was Greatfully satisfied!
I eventually told my husband that I was pregnant and he instantly became the most happiest person in the world, he called his mother,updated them about the news and they started buying kid clothing and Toys.
Few months later we did scan and the doctors told us that it was twin.
Glory be to God, I gave birth to taiwo(female) and kehinde(male).
2 days ago, my husband woke me up in d middle of the night, held me close to his arms, looked into my eyes, and asked me "Jumoke, who is the father of our kids" I was shocked, scared that he must have known some how, I just knew he had known because of d way he asked me, I didn't know what to say, I was so shy bcus I knew I've betrayed his trust, I looked at his eyes and I burst into tears........
he then told me "jumoke, before u start talking, I have a confession to make" I cleaned my face and sat upright. he went ahead and told me how he had Unprotected sex with a girl in his village and contacted STD before he got married, and how he didn't treat it for a very long time, that eventually when he went to the hospital, the doctors told him that the std he didn't treat ontime had made him sterile(can't impregnate a woman)
He said he treated the STD b4 he got married to me, and he has always known that he was sterile, and that all those test we've been doing that he has been paying the doctors to give me a wrong result.
He also added that the woman he had sex with back then got pregnant and the child is BAYO our house help. he also went ahead by saying that he has always wanted to tell me to look for someone to impregnate me but he just didn't have the balls to do so.
But now that I have done it,he'll like to know who d father is.
"I fainted" what do u think Jumoke should say if she finally gain consciousness.?



37 Comments

Chix
31 Jul 2012 13:11

OMG Zdwesha... to think that you have been living in a lie is enough to keep me in a COMA!!! But then if I were to eventually wake up... OH God forbid ooo this guy has told more lies than I have done with my own step-son!!! So now that the lies have found their way out I may as well tell him that the son he never told me about is the one that impregnanted me!!! If the marriage is meant to fail... so be it!!! But if he won't take the blame for his part...neither will I for my dirty part!!!

SAD story though!!!

mangqezu
31 Jul 2012 13:30

Lies always have a way of catching up with u.

Mrs Chix
31 Jul 2012 13:33

Tjo Tjo Tjo...... I am speechless

Boni11
31 Jul 2012 13:40

Tjo! the husband is to blame mos

zdwesha
31 Jul 2012 13:47

@mangqezu im with u there

now the husband is a father-grandfather to the twins

Dhee
31 Jul 2012 13:48

Why is the husband to be blamed, who sent the wife to go and screw another man, there is nowhere where she says she her husband wasnt satisfying her, the doctors told them thaty they were both fertile, so what exactly possesed her to screw another man. Ubevele naye eziphathelwe ubufebe so she also played her part!

zdwesha
31 Jul 2012 13:56

DHEE did u ready the whole article?

nice
31 Jul 2012 13:56

You are both equally to blame, you for cheating and him for lying. I dont see why your husband had to lie about his condition when there are so many options in this age we live in. Adoption and IVF are options and you could have gone that route. All along he knew that Bayo is the son, he should have confessed and continued to raise Bayo.

You have both placed Bayo in a very difficult situation, being a father to his own brothers. What should they call him (dad/ brother) ****shaking my head******

all you have to do now is tell the truth, no more lies and you all need to sit down and talk about this, get counselling if need be, and forgive. If your marriage is solid you can get through this, and can live happily ever after but if for 18 years your man has been lying to you, it will be a challenge. 

Good luck and hope it all turns out well.

Chix
31 Jul 2012 14:09

@Nice I am with you there...

@Boni11 there is no way this can fall on one person... you are either to blame together or you just say we are EVEN and yeah LIFE MUST GO ON!!! If you say the hubby is to blame... what about the fact that the wife is pregnant with another man... NO... not just another MAN... the hubby's SON!!! Jizas that should give her stomach cramps!!!

caro
31 Jul 2012 14:10

i dont see a reason why we should blame the husband, he had the child before he got married, the only sin he committed was not telling his wife he has a child from a perevious relationship. the wife yena o rata totolozi and he used her husband's absence to sell out her big thing to the poor child, nna i think the wifey is to blame,

on the  other hand the husband was also living a lie, he was sterile and kept silencing the doctors, can you believe the nerve of that looser....

this is just what i think..i still need to hear your take on these guys...

Dhee
31 Jul 2012 14:18

@ caro dont see a reason why we should blame the husband, he had the child before he got married, the only sin he committed was not telling his wife he has a child from a perevious relationship. the wife yena o rata totolozi.

on the other hand the husband was also living a lie, he was sterile and kept silencing the doctors

My point exactly

zdwesha
31 Jul 2012 14:21

i blame both of them for the lack of communication

communication is a key to a healthy relationship

boogy-babe
31 Jul 2012 14:26

lol....tjooo!!

Chix
31 Jul 2012 14:27

So Dhee and Caro... are you saying the lies that the hubby told, him paying the doctors not to tell the truth that he was sterile do not matter because the wife opened her legs to another man... hayi guys please tell me you are not serious... that man LIED!!! He lied for 17 years... do you know how long 17 years is for a woman who so wanted to have kids but couldn't and was kept in hope that one day... one day she may have a child!!! That man traumatised that woman in the most CRUEL possible way!!! Nna I think they are both to blame qha ke!!!

And this is NIGERIA... chances are she was being insulted by the mother in law for that 17 years... the sisters in law and the community at large. Could be his family knew that their son had a child out of wedlock and they possibly said it is that woman who is not able to conceive because our son can make babies, we have proof!!! yes they were not going to wave it in front of Jumoke's face but they still probably insulted her!!! The fact that he called his mom when Jumoke was pregnant means he never updated even his family about the STD that left him sterile!!! THAT MAN IS AT FAULT AS MUCH AS THAT WOMAN IS!!!!

Boni11
31 Jul 2012 14:38

Yes the wife is to blame as well for sleeping with another man, even if she did hoping to get pregnant and make her hubby and in-laws happy it was still wrong

but can u imagine for 17 years she kept asking herself why they were not conceiving and the husband just kept quiet through all that pain, and we all know that if a couple can't have children most of the time the woman is blamed and accused of being barren. If the wife didn't sleep with her stepson when was the husband going to tell the truth?

Friend
31 Jul 2012 14:43

They are all  wrong, finish & klaar!!

Dhee
31 Jul 2012 15:00

@ Chix Im not saying the husband was right i was raising a point to Boni11 whenshe said its the husband whose to blame. None of the were right as far as im concerned. Yes the husband humiliated her by hiding the truth from where which was very wrong because he had the child befor they even got married but also the wife was wrong to have another man's child while she was still maried, she should have walked out of the marriage if she sooo desperalty wanted the child. She waited for 17 years before she can bang another man. So what is that made it to be so easy for her to sleep with another man, not even to go and look outside somewhere else, did it have to be the same person that she claims they treated as one of their own. How do you think he felt afterwards, the humiliation he had to go through just because they were taking care of him and his family. How do u think he felt whenthe husband came back knowing that he had bitten the same hand thats feeding him.

What both these people did was cruel, maybe for them they can solve the problem but what abiut this young man!

Green.arrow
31 Jul 2012 15:19

Aowi!! *jaw dropped*

Green.arrow
31 Jul 2012 15:21

Both wrong, this story is to creepy I hope its not true.

Green.arrow
31 Jul 2012 15:21

Both wrong, this story is to creepy I hope its not true.

bezu
31 Jul 2012 15:23

this is a very sad story, both were wrong but where did the problem originate from? if the hubby was honest from the beginning and came clean abt his std problem non of this would have happened.. they wuld have tried other options but no he decided to lie, and guys those of you who knw what it is like to hope and pray for a child and nt falling pregnant you will knw how much pressure the wife was under... not say it's right what she did but hey whenever there is a problem on nt being able to have kids it's always the wife who gets blamed!!! not sure why though but thats how it is..!!!! 

chinekwe!!!

Mokema
31 Jul 2012 15:32

This is hectic i think they need to go their separate ways = trust gone

Guava4
31 Jul 2012 15:59

Tjo!im lost for words

LM
31 Jul 2012 16:27

Nollywood story! read this on nairaland website....

Cnglemother
31 Jul 2012 19:05

hello LM!voetsek to this mambo jumbo!

ayashah
01 Aug 2012 10:28

nna i dnt bam th woman, she was told that she they are both fertile by the dotor meaning thet she can have children, i mean if we say this soil is fertile  we will see lovely fruits and veg coming out of the soil, and if the soil is not fertile we always try allmeans to make it to be sp that it produces  good staf like aapplying NPK . and not evry soil can produce betroot just giving an example

sothe woman isfertile wrong seed is being planted into her she tried to water the seeds   but nothing seem to prevail for 17 yeas can you imagine!  so nna i dnt blame her forapplying NPK in the fertile soil


he also went ahead by saying that he has always wanted to tell me to look for someone to impregnate me but he just didn't have the balls to do so

 
i picked this words above from the story , if this man was hones at the first place this woman wouldn't have used BAYO as her NPK  myb she was gnna accept that
 she will not have kids for her husband is sterile or she should have found some1 to impregnate her and not BAYO.


Khodo
08 Aug 2012 09:33

I guess the wife can still lie about the father of the baby and say it is her husband's. The baby will have the father's dna since it's his son's and they will live hapilly ever after *bbmwink*

VusiK
08 Aug 2012 10:30

What the heck is Khodo talking?

Read the article ..
There are details in there that everyone needs to absorb before commenting.

Helang !

Brown skinned people .... Read !
or at least start to learn to read !

ms.tebby
08 Aug 2012 10:50


kwaaaaaaaahahahahaaaa!
hello VusiK....

VusiK
08 Aug 2012 11:05

Tebby my friend !

Hello ! :-)

Trublu
08 Aug 2012 12:18

Hay Vus< ngiyakhuza. lol Tjooo what a story. I think both of them are to blame lana coz had the Hubby told Jumoke about Bayo, Maybe she wudve gone another route.

VusiK
08 Aug 2012 13:02

Of course this mess is everyone's fault Trublu !
and
No-one is to blame.

it is like saying "Which lie is more important / easier / better ?" ... which is tota rubbish !

Cande
08 Aug 2012 13:27

is this story real? sounds like fiction

Njoy
08 Aug 2012 13:36

@Cande I also thought it was fiction up until I saw the Sunday news papers. It was there......I'm not sure if anyone else did see it though. Ya sure....It was there.

Njoy
08 Aug 2012 18:41

I do get your point at Khondo. Doctors don't have the last say in as far as these matters are concerned. It's only over when God says it's over. With the DNA pointing to his direction how will he dispute the fact that the baby is his if he wants to go the paternity test route. It's been happening donkey years ago......brothers sleeping with their sisters in law to help a struggling brother. He won't be the first ukubamba ibhantshi.....so just let it be. You make sense.

Khodo
16 Aug 2012 14:54

VusiK - No need for those insults hey. That was just my opinion and how I interpreted the story so just cause it is not the way you see it there is no need for those words to me.

Khodo
16 Aug 2012 14:56

The author want to know what the woman must say when she regains consciousness  - and I think she can still say It is her husband's - stranger things have happened - women have given birth after doctors said they can't.


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