Whew - how close was that? What were Uchenna and Joyce thinking?! I know they can't stand to see peeps suffer but the worst thing they ever could have done was hook up with Meredith and Gretchen the way they did.
I would have been very annoyed with them if things hadn't worked out and Gretchen and Tortoise Boy had beaten them as a result. Thankfully this didn’t happen and Meredith and her husband are gone!
As from the next episode everything will be peacefully quiet with noo more shrieking man-bullying blasphemies. I couldn't be more pleased and when Phil got all sentimental saying goodbye, I didn't feel even a smidgen of it.
I couldn't believe it when they chose to do the brawn instead of brain during the Detour – hellooo, Olds 101, they're the ones who've been going on about how much older they are, surely the latter is the only option you take when bones are such a top priority.
Not that it definitely would have made a difference because Uchenna and Joyce whizzed through those boats, but still, it wasn't an Amazing move by any stretch of the imagination which means it's perfect that they're not one of the final Amazing 3 left.
The fact that Kelly and Jon are is way more so considering the fact that they've managed to do it loathing one another more than any other Pig in the world. They were more hysterical than they've ever been this episode, espesh Kelly with how she absolutely refuses to ever try to see Ron's point of view - which I don't blame her for.
I thought the cameraman was very harsh on her at the airport when she was asking for the lipstick. It really wasn't necessary to highlight exactly what she looks like without make-up the way he did. Of course I had a brilliant chortle, but considering the fact that Ron would have enjoyed seeing her so vulnerable I would rather it didn’t happen.
What Ron would ideally have liked is to race the race and snuggled up at night with someone who went down in the million dollar helicopter with him - and for this Kelly is going to say she loves him. I'm convinced she's not really in love in him and that she only thinks it because she doesn't believe she’ll find anyone else.
Despite all this they managed to race very impressively, still managing to finish in second position after being yielded. Rob and Amber using it on them was fab as were the Amber moustache’d drawings Ron and Kelly did on their faces. If you think about it, the only time they’ve ever been happy and laughing is when they have anything to do with Rob and Amber.
There has to be something about them in the flesh that makes people feel generally uplifted - everyone they've met who's helped them has responded the same way. I loved the fact that they didn't know what a dervish was as I didn't know either. How's those dude's for never getting dizzy and being lazy?
Who wouldn't want to spend their days spinning around in a circle like that if it meant you didn't have to do anything else? I thought they were ridiculous - one or two rotations in honour of whatever spirit thing you've got going on is fine but round and round and round forever - it just seems like the hugest waste of time ever.
All the places they visited were groovy, particularly Abbey Road where I would have liked to see them recreating the original photo with strangers. The Sherlock Holmes mystery with the magnifying glass was quite fun though and Amber suited being a detective perfectly.
That Eye in the Sky Ferris wheel was also very cool and way huger inside than you'd imagine it could be. It's really amazing how there are such clever types in the world who can work out how to make such a thing work and be safe. I always think that with wheels and roller coasters and cable cars etc.
My best was when Ron and Kelly were in it, desperately looking for the clue on the building opposite but not seeing it. In the moments before Ron spotted it I just knew Kelly never would with all the thinking she was doing about the apology she believed Ron owed her. "My apology" she called it. It was such a good example of how she constantly blinds herself to the truth of a situation I thought.
Another very excellent moment was Joyce screaming at Uchenna when she was trying to park the bus. It was the same tone, except much louder, that she used when she agreed to go ahead with her balding.
What's so funny about it is that on both occassions she's had the sub-text: "I don't really hate you but in this moment I totally do because there's nobody else to take it out on so pleeease understand and let me get very frakked off and scream at you." - which Uchenna happily understands.
The way he said she was doing much better without all his interruptions was very wisely true and the way she handled the bus afterwards proved it. It really was one of the suckiest roadblocks - if they'd just had to park it but to manouvre between all those beacons that seemed impossibly on top of one another was brutal. Before Rob finished doing it I was actually wondering whether anyone had tried it out to see if it could be done.
Even though it's impossible to know the exact timing of things, Joyce's getting it together seemd to be what ended up winning the leg for her and Uchenna - putting them ahead of Meredith who now has to return home to be double hen-pecked. If the kind of "Atta boy" treatment (did you hear her say that?!) is what he gets on camera can you imagine the torture he gets without it?
As they said their goodbyes and kissed and Meredith said that Gretchen was the best in the world, they seemed happy enough and okay I suppose.
Okay is thankfully not what's needed the final dash to the million bucks though. It's so close to the racers now they're all spending it wildly in their heads and hotel rooms.
Next week they'll obviously race into the positions that will take them into the humdinging Finale final sprint. With any luck Ron and Kelly will self-destruct somewhere in the middle of things when she refuses to do the final leg unless Phil marries them on the Pitstop mat.