Episode 3 of TAR 7 featured some crazy voodoo karma. Debbie got to re-enact her boating accident, only with a bit less 'near-death experience'; Susan and Patrick prayed for flat tyres and got them; Susan hoped for a good meal in Argentina, and got it in bucketloads. There is some sort of weird voodoo going on in The Amazing Race. Next week I fully expect to see Lynn sticking pins into a Rob-Doll and screaming "This is what you get for wearing a baseball cap with those shoes!”.
The Journey. Marriage Issues
The teams began their race nestled in the foothills of Sierra Santa Sasasiasasa. They were then told to drive to Argentina via, as Deana puts it, 'The Adidas Mountains.' These mountains are famous for having white-water rivers streaming down the mountain side in groups of three.
They then had to do a bunch of things on those rivers, and then drive to Camping Swizzlestick to complete the roadblock. The pit stop was located in the small town of Stansantasanstanstana.
Let's hope they get to an English speaking country soon.
Speaking of Ray and Deana: what's up with couples always choosing the worst times to have couples therapy? When you're looking for a taxi to take you to a route marker, and your husband has an idea of where to go, the best thing to do, obviously, is to sit down and have a discussion about how he does not value your ideas, talks over you, and fails to enter a discourse in order to interface with your resources. Then, after Ray slits his wrists, Deana can give herself the affirmation she needs by having no one to tell her that her stupid ideas are stupid.
"What am I doing here?" Those were Susan's words, straight from her confused-looking head. She and Patrick were so pathetic this episode that I have no words.
Oh wait, hang on, I just found some. Susan kept going on about Patrick needing a boyfriend. I interpreted that as "Patrick really needs some friends. Boy, girl, imaginary, any friend will do. I don't care. If I have to be with him for one more minute, I'm going to get really, really, really confused, because that's my whole emotional range." Obviously Patrick has been getting lessons from Lynn on how to be a completely annoying gay man, because he was really pushing the limits of his Bitch-o-meter last night.
How can you not find your way out of Chile? I looked at it on the map and it's only half an inch wide! Just turn right, head for the mountain, and you're safe! Honestly.
Bianca and Debbie were no better.
Debbie: Shall we take the turn off that says 'This way to Argentina?'
Bianca: Nah, let's take the one that says 'This way to Last Place.'
And they drove, and drove, and drove. And drove some more. And yet, despite the compelling lack of Andes Mountains, they didn't think to stop. One would think they would be hard to miss. Also, the whole ocean thing must surely have been a clue.
Argentine Cuisine
That meal was, apparently, a traditional Argentine meal. What the hell? hey have something of a cow fixation, don't they? A traditional 4-course meal is meat soup, followed by a steak served with mashed meat, steamed meat, and some creamed meat. The desert is meat mousse, followed by meat and crackers (hold the crackers). What's the average life expectancy in Argentina, I hear you ask? Well, I looked it up: it's 8 years. I hear that the arteries of Argentineans make excellent candles.
I'm sure Ron has a POW story about candles too, by the way; not to mention cows. I'll bet Ron can find a POW story to relate to any subject on earth. "Your anecdote about Norwegian salmon reminds of something from my days in a POW camp..."
Yay for Ron.
First Class Upgrade of the Week
Rob, again. Sorry if this is becoming repetitive, but come on: anyone who can steal someone's cab, and then proceed to get a police escort out of town, deserves something. Some may say jail-time, but I say nay.
An aside: I did consider awarding Uchenna's efforts on the roadblock. The way he munched those brains was incredible, if a bit disturbing. However, if I had acknowledged him, I would have had to acknowledge that Lynn and Alex also did it well, and there's no way in hell I'm doing that.
Stow-away of the Week
Lynn and Alex, again. Do I need to elaborate? They owned this award, from their hypocritical hatred of Rob and Amber for no actual reason, to their ridiculous rowing for Phil. Why does everything have to be synchronised with them? Phil gave them the eyebrow, and that's enough for me.
Postcard of the Week
"Dear Mom,
Rob says it’s ok for me to write you this postcard, so I took the opportunity. Rob is such a generous guy that way. He lets me do his laundry for him sometimes too. The race is fun, Rob says so too. We had to eat a lot of meat today but Rob said I shouldn't. I listened to him, although I can't remember why. Everything went pink and fuzzy.
I have to go, I need to sleep and I want Rob's opinion on that. I was considering sleeping on my right side today, but I don't know how Rob feels about that.
Your son,
Ray"
Holiday Snapshot of the Week
Uchenna and Joyce took this little snap shot of a traditional Argentine menu:
