Nooo - how could that have happened to the sweet lesbo hope-for-chicks, after everything they went through? Being beaten by stupid Patrick and Susan the way they were was just so horrible I would never be the same again if I were them.
The worst of it is that they really could have done brilliantly if they'd just realised that sea was not where they were supposed to be. It was such a pity as they could have finished hours ahead of everyone, who'd been so excellently skullduggerised by Rob.
This was the salvation to the trauma of everything. Rob was so brilliantly, perfectly, divine - he and Amber absolutely have to win as a result. How hysterical was it all?
That disgusting blood sausage udder-meat, - argh! - never, never, never could I have done it. When Rob said he wasn't gonna do it it was too super to breathe - firstly because he got even more handsome (which was impossible) and secondly because I've been dying for someone to do exactly that.
I've always thought contestants are way too keen to push through the really crappest things. I reckon they should just say “stuff-it” and take their chances - which, as has been proven, can definitely work.
All the rest of them who decided to stop eating too owe Rob bigtime - especially Deana. There's just no ways Ray would have been as easy on her if Rob hadn't encouraged him to allow her to stop.
Not that I'm happy they came out okay finishing in a safe sixth position, but still, it just goes to show how super Rob is - he knew he had to work Ray to protect her.
It was juicy seeing Ray's vested, muscle-bully crewcut being put in it's place. I can just picture him lifting weights in a gym - sweatily staring at himself in a mirror, turning himself on at the idea of how young he looks for his age.
Clearly this is the reason he's with Deana - also, he can control and boss her around way more easily than a chick his age.
Despite how much they loathe one another by the time they had an hour or so of penalty left they seemed to comfortably be sharing a silence, which surprised me. There was a moment when Deana was chewing gum (how could anyone chew and watch?) where they genuinely seemed better together than they've seemed since the start.
Rob's mojo also did wonders for Gretchen and Meredith, who's wrinkly, skinny body was just never gonna cope with an extra four pounds piled in in one go. The Detour had to be the most intense of any I've ever seen - it's never this kind of unbelievable extreme.
I lurve that they pushed it as far as they did and also that some of them actually managed to do it. Not Lynn and Alex though because they try way too hard to be bitchy and their whole Rob/Amber competitive thing is very annoying.
Have you ever read the Tao of Pooh? It has all sorts of cool bits and pieces about how Pooh Bear is the best way to be and one of the key things that it says is never, ever care about what anyone else is doing.
When you're racing you obviously have to consider where others are etc, but racing with your main intention being to beat Amber and Rob is just soo pathetic. Every time they mentioned it I wanted to kill them.
I was impressed with the way Alex handled the Detour though, because his vommy never got particularly gross.
Unlike Patrick, who kept retching over his dusty, dirty toes, which obviously explains why he doesn't have a boyfriend yet. Susan's pre-occupation with him having one is very weirdy I thought and I hated how she kept them in the race by pushing him to finish.
Debbie was hysterical through it all, blocking her ears with her greasy but femininely delicate hands.
Funny how the sounds of something can be so much more grisly than actually looking at it. It's the same with me when it comes to mafia movies, when dudes like Joe Pesci pulverise one another to squashed, pulpy foley.
Most hysterical of them all was Team Enron. The way Uchenna's eyes popped as he psyched himself up for the guzzle and his damn to Alex's spew - hee. It was superb how calmy he tackled it and as he finished, looking stronger than when he went in, I really wanted him and Joyce to beat the Bitches and finish first.
Not before that though - I just remembered - when he and Joyce were on their way to Argentina in the car, I was very irritated as there was something about everything they did that struck me as fake and overexaggerated.
I still have the sense with them that there's something they're not telling us, which either has to do with corporate secrets or their relationship. I just don't buy it and can't wait for something to happen that sends them over the edge.
Speaking of Argentina - how awesome was that road to get there? Wow - I've never seen anything like it. Also how they went from being in Chile one moment to Argentina the next - it all made me very envious to go.
Apparently the sun in South America is a particular shade of yellow that's very unique in hot, sexy ways - explaining why South American types are all so tango'ly lusty.
As they all go off to their Pitstop rooms to their rest I imagine some of it may rub off. I always wonder whether the racers have steamy sex during the course of the race and also where they put their cameramen when they do.
Everyone has the potential - whether they do it solo or in couples - everyone except Team America. I just can't imagine Ron and Kelly ever getting it on in any sort of passionate way.
He was just too unbelievable going on about the weight he lost in the Iraqi prison. I honestly don't understand how he can say the things he does and not know what a total knob he's being.
I reckon Kelly knows though because the way she told everyone to clap for him when he'd finished eating was as if she didn't think they would. Or was slightly embarassed that they wouldn't and needed to cover for him in case.
Can you imagine what the marraige she so desperately wants would be like? It would all definitely be about trying to impress Pig guests with fake smiles at formal fancy dinners.
I couldn't think of anything worse!