EPISODE 1 [Part 2]
That sucked so bigtime. I can't believe it was Ryan and Chuck who got whacked instead of the blonde Barbies, who looked 10 years older than they did last week.
It wasn't even as if the Hillbillies got eliminated for fatly going too slowly - rather it was their stupid taxi driver who refused to go any faster than the bimbos and the POW, both of whom I loathe completely.
I thought the Hillbillies were going to give everyone a seriously edgy run for their money and when they came puffing in last and wept slightly when they spoke afterwards I wept too, espesh when they said: "If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes", and when Ryan said Chuck was the only the person in the world to be his true friend.
As they walked away after being eliminated and turned back to the camera underneath that bridge-type Peru rock, I was a mess. It would have been so groovy to have had more chortles from them, like when Ryan went madly cycling down the zipline with his thunderlegs.
How totally super was the zip though? Wow – the way it's not only one line but two, so you know there's more to come when you're midway through the first. I would soo love to do it.
I've actually currently got a weird thing going on with scenery in general in that every time I see any awesome view anywhere I get very carried away, hysterical almost, and huge tears start plopping.
I have no clue what it's all about except that it happened when the racers arrived in Peru and travelled to get their first clue, with yummy Rob being part of the gorge scenery obviously. I was delighted that he and Amber did so well, pulling their way upwards from wherever they were (can't remember) - the only thing that troubled me was Patty and Susan finishing seconds ahead of them.
Argh – I can't cope with Patrick and his excuse for a ponytail and stupid white takkies and the way he's so in love with Rob.
Did you see the expression on his face when they were travelling from the police station to the pitstop together? The worst was how he went on and on about wanting to beat them specifically – do you have any idea how much I can't stand it when someone's actually in love with someone and denies it by getting aggro?
As for that mother of his - she's hardly any better, is she? The way she got so negative and carried away in the final taxi to the pitstop you'd have sworn it was the end of the race instead of the beginning.
I loved every moment of the llama's getting so iffy with them and was surprised too, because they hardly look like the sorts of beasts to have personal issues.
What's the story with them? Are they of the camel family? I would rather have done the basket carrying thing, because it's not wise putting your hands in clutches other than your own – even if the rope's impossible to attach properly.
All the racers who chose to carry the baskets did really well I thought. Everyone except Deana with her Ray of Suck-it, who wouldn't help her. I was very pleased that they found themselves losing at the back throughout it all because as yet they haven't said one nice word to each other.
The way Ray kept barking at Deana as if she was some kind of soldier was very pathetic and I just don't understand what she's doing with him. Perhaps he's got lots of moolah, being so much older or something.
To be fair, she didn't stop whining once and also seemed to give up before she'd even tried, which makes their seventh position really surprising. They didn't actually do too badly - they seemed to be way behind but weren't, which is obviously because of the Olds hanging around them.
Gretchen and Meredith were just ahead of them, finishing sixth, yet right up until the end I thought they were coming last. I can't remember anything they did specifically that improved their position so much but it must have been something because there's no ways they could have done it through speed.
Their choosing of the llama's in the Detour must have had something to do with it and it was their wisest choice – except they didn't get to wear those cool Inca hats. I love the shape and colours of them – it's as if they're so bright they're the brightest in the world. Like no other colour exists as brightly as they do in those particular hats and ponchos.
Everyone who isn't a Pig and who wore the hats looked excellent – particularly Brian and Greg, who are obviously out of work actors because they prefer being hippies. Everything about them is chilled and generally comfortable – you could imagine feeling really relaxed with them, knowing they have no issues they're trying to make yours.
Same thing with Uchenna and Joyce, who seem to be taking a holiday chill and don't seem noticeably stressed by either their past nor their present.
What's up with them being so nice to each other when they've gone through all sorts of crises? I'm sure they're hiding something from us and aren't showing how they're really feeling, because Uchenna seems way too happy and generally wowed to have worked at doomed Enron.
He was hysterical going down the zip, looking very quickly from side to side and trying to get as much of everything in as he possibly could. I'd be exactly the same and would feel I wanted my head to whirl a full 360 degrees, 60 times a minute.
Despite their general slow-pokeness, out of everyone the two of them proved to be the best at herding the llama's - it seemed to have something to do with Uchenna's skush-skushing.
Quite the opposite were Debbie and Bianca who were ridiculous with the way they wasted their time bickering indecisively, and losing two positions because of it. They were just lucky that they came in first at the end - Patrick and Susan got to the llama's ahead of them after zipping long after them.
It's quite incredible just how destructive indecisiveness is and in the Race it's so crucial. You really do have to make a decision in a split second – a decision which could impact on absolutely everything that happens next.
With Debbie and Bianca it was as if the two of them feared making the wrong choice so much they ended up making it. I've been watching a lot of cricket lately (it's got very similar things to the race – like Jacques Kallis who's soo slow he'd defs come last) and while watching I've noticed that the more important a ball is to a player the more chance they have of stuffing it up.
Hopefully it won't happen with Debbie and Bianca again because I really like them and was very pleased when they won the moolah. That was cool and so trippy, because before Phil said what they were winning for finishing first there was something that made me feel it wasn't gonna be a seven night bed and breakfast.
10 000 dollars each is fab. That's about 60 000 buckaroonies each. Winning this kinda makes up for Ryan and Chuck's hillbilly howls I suppose, and while I would way rather have seen the Barbies or Kelly and Gum Boy get whacked – there's always next week.
Goodbyeeee, sweet Hillbillieeeees.
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