It was after watching yesterday’s episode of Motswako that I realised how the tern culture and tradition has in more ways have negatively affected us in the way in which we were brought up especially we as the black culture. In particular, the term taboo, in particular has effed us up more that we can realise. Sex topic in particular is one issue that we as the black households have never really engaged in. Being a TV addict when growing I eagerly waited for a day when my Dad was going to have the ‘men’s talk’ as I always saw that on TV when Dads talk to their sons about sex and other related issues. See, my Dad is the quite type that never responds to anything- like for instance, when my mom is pissed with him, he is the type that just don’t respond until mom calms down. Though I hoped for the ‘men’s talk’ I kinda knew that it was not gonna happen.
Being from a family of boys, my mom would only drop hints like ‘I don’t want to raise some ugly kids while you still under my roof’ or ‘should any girl come to my house pregnant claiming any of you is involved, ya’ll know where the gate is situated, there is only one wife in this house and one man, your father’. But how the things she is talking about are gonna come about, she never said anything. I still remember this other time when I was going out and told my mom I might sleep out and she just said ‘le hlokomele di AIDS’ the horror I got, I just kept on walking without looking back, simply because we have never engaged in such talk even though I have already been around the block.
Thinking of it now, it also makes sense that at my age I still feel uncomfortable when watching kissing scenes on TV in the presence of my parents hence the age.
After watching Motswako, and the ignorance that parents, black parents in particular have when it comes to sex education towards their own kids, it hit home. One of the parents in the Motswako episode was on some ‘’I don’t talk to my kids about sex coz it will encourages them to engage in sex’. On my side, even though my parents never spoke to me about sex, somehow I knew what sex was and before I knew it, I was doing it.
You as the bloggers, did your parents ever talk to you about sex? Not the ‘when you see boys you must run’ hogwash. Did they ever talk to you about condoms and contraceptives and all the baggage that comes with sex and how nice it is? I have made a choice that once I decide to have babies, I aint holding nothing back, I am going to school them myself. are you? when is the right time to tell them?