Breathe.
The first round of torture's over.
Sunday night's Idols featured the fourth and final round of auditions which were held at Grand West in Cape Town.
Here's a recap of events by the show:
Gareth Cliff was out of the country for the auditions so Zef rapper Jack Parow stood in for him. The wacky moustachioed artist, known for lekker Afrikaans rhymes, said he was looking for someone “cooler as eke” to bowl him over. Enter Mario Herman.
The 22 year-old rapper came in with all the confidence of a seasoned emcee to perform an original composition called Better than the Best. But it took less than a nanosecond to see that Mario was nowhere near being better than anyone, let alone the best.
As guest of honour and well-travelled rhyme master, Jack was given the honour to critique the performance but was left utterly dumbfounded and struggling to string together a coherent sentence - much like Mario’s rap performance.
And so started a painfully long audition day for the judges.
Lyrics proved a challenge for most contestants, as they fumbled and mumbled their way through songs. This, in turn, made the Golden Ticket as elusive as a sighting of a unicorn on Table Mountain.
After hours of struggle, 19 year-old Micaela November finally broke the drought with a Jennifer Hudson song that earned her three nods.
But it was gospel recording artist Lusanda Bheja, 25, who finally woke the judges from their slumber when he performed John Legend’s So High to - well, high praise. He was called the “full package” and received four thumbs up. It looked like Lusanda was the lucky charm because after that, the talent flood gates finally opened in Cape Town.
Contestant Bronwin Wyngaardt took it all the way to church with his rendering of Swing Low, walking off with four yesses from the judges even though Somizi Mhlongo was still pouting that Bronwin had picked Unathi Msengana as his favourite judge.
Poor Somizi’s like-o-metre remained firmly in the cold zone when 18 year-old Fereez Jackson walked in to sing … who knows what. The bewildered teen’s voice was so low that Somizi had to go up to him so that he could decipher the unintelligible words for the rest of the judging panel.
When asked who his favourite judge was, he turned on Somizi, whispering “Don’t hit me but I really hate you”. A very confusing engagement indeed.
At least returnee Ziyanda Stefan from Khayelitsha, who swore and zapped Somizi during her Season XI audition, spared the judge further assault this time around when he gave her his no - while running out of the audition room.
Speaking of returnees, 24 year-old Tebogo Louw came back to try his luck for the third time. His dream of making it on to the Top 16 stage was twice cut short right before this crucial stage, but his determination has impressed Unathi as much as it has done nothing to move Randall Abrahams.
It remains to be seen how far he will go this time around.