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 Steph can finally breathe a sigh of relief. Even though she is still on the sucky team, she managed to avoid Tribal Council for the first time in, oh, who cares? Seriously, it's not all about Steph. I'd like to focus on some other characters, like Cindy, who, um... and, wait, what about Margaret, who this week... er... and let's not forget Danni, who did that thing with, uh..

Hey, how about Steph winning that challenge, eh?



Nakum-the-Newly-Cursed came back from Tribal Council, had another 'Wait, something's missing' moment before realising that they'd voted off... someone..., and settled down for a good night's sleep.

At least, that's what they would have done, if it weren't for Judd and his inane babbling.

Margaret: Nice fire Steph.
Steph: Thanks, I've had practice.
Judd: It's a cut-throat game, ok!?!
Steph: Margaret, would you hand some more wood?
Margaret: Sure thing Steph.
Judd: We all have to look after ourselves! I only care about my family, and me. It's a game!
Margaret: Do you hear something?
Judd: I don't care if you hate me! Stop being so petty! Get off my back!

Methinks the lardy doth protest too much.

Ok, that was mean. I apologise. Judd is not lardy. Lard is Juddy.


Yaxha-The-Recently-Cursed has a problem, and that problem is Blake. Blake, who met this season's quota of frat-boy-jock-wannabes (as well as the quota for every season ever), seemed to be outliving his welcome. Not that he noticed, being asleep all the time. I'm sure he was just keeping the floor warm for everyone.

That's a sure way to get yourself removed from a tribe. That glint coming from his tooth quickly turned into a red sniper laser.

And what better way to bring out the ass in Blake than to sit him next to a pool with a whole lot of alcohol? Next thing we know, it's all stories about breasts and alcohol.

Blake: Man, then there was this one girlfriend of mine, who had, like, 44 Quadruple D's. And she was all, like, a stripper and stuff. I totally dumped her before we even met. Man, I got so wasted once. I drank fourteen beers, no, wait, I meant forty. Forty beers. Yeah, that sounds better.

Brian was very astute when he started Blake up and put him next to Bobby Jon. Poor Bobby Jon was so rattled by the very thought of all this 'breast talk' that he immediately started hating Blake.

Bobby Jon's Head: Arrgh! Talk about big boobs makes Bobby Jon mad! Aaargh! Wooo! Damn, must stop doing that at inappropriate times...

The Reward Challenge was incredibly complex. I turned away for a split second and was completely lost. I think it involved building a car from leaves. Or something.

Anyway, it doesn't matter, because Nakursed didn't even get going. Jamie came up against Brandon in a challenge that involved cutting rope with sharp stones. Brandon came up with the idea of banging the ropes with the rock. This complicated technique, known to the initiated as 'chopping', is a rare subtlety known only to outdoorsmen, farmers, and people descended from apes. This, however, does not include Jamie, who is therefore obviously still an ape.

Yaxha sprinted ahead, Bobby Jon showed us his ass, and Nakum lost again. Should we give Jamie points for at least asking the team to try to finish the challenge anyway? No, because that was a stupid idea. Just like his stupid idea not to copy Brandon.

The reward was a big cage to swim in, with a deck to lounge around on. I'm so glad the Survivors could turn the dreaded jungle heat into a photo-op. Thankfully, Blake is only a 'so-called' model, and thus we were saved his Blue Steel and Magnum attempts.




I just want to take a moment here and thank whichever divine being created Bobby Jon (be it as a saviour for humanity or a way to pass time between seasons of Lost). he makes every scene worthwhile. He does nothing in half measures. He only ever does it full on, or not at all.

Full-on Bobby Jon is the Bobby Jon who screamed in triumph after his team lost the immunity challenge. You've gotta love the way he just gives 100%, even when no one's asking for it.

Full-on Bobby Jon is the Bobby Jon who shows us his ass when his team crosses the finish line after they actually won a challenge.

Not-on Bobby Jon is the Bobby Jon who says he won't vote for Blake, but then does, for no apparent reason at all. Then again, it's probably too much to ask him to differentiate between two people whose names start with 'B'.

Not-on Bobby Jon is the Bobby Jon who, when quizzed about the process of planting wheat, says "Well, you get some seed. Plant 'em."

I love Bobby Jon.



Apparently, the Nakum tribe likes to pray before eating, giving thanks for the wonderful food they are eating (sand-flavoured corn). The Island Rat tried to reach God for his views on the matter. The following email was returned:

'Hi,

You've reached God. I'm out of my office until the end of Survivor. Thank someone else for the food; I take no credit for that crap.

If you need to reach me, my Messenger email is Teh_1_God@hotmail.com.
G.'

The Immunity Challenge was, yet again, designed to make Gary look like... ah forget it, I'm getting tired of this joke.

Steph's team won! Nakum-that-was-cursed-but-who-finally-did-something-right won! They won because all Lydia had to do was pull a lever.

Yaxha-the-recursed (tee hee) now had to choose who to vote out. Whilst one might say 'Hey, let's vote out Blake, it's a no-brainer!', one must realise that we are talking about Bobby Jon here, where 'no-brainer' has special meaning.

in the end, it was a big surprise for Blake when he got voted out. Unfortunately, we were subjected to his ever-toothy grin when he gave his ejection speech, even though he was angry, because his face has only one setting: gleam.


Well, as you may have guessed by my ramblings, this week's Shallow End Of The Gene Pool Award goes to Blake.




A Eugugoly for Blake:

 " If I have a day off I'll spend four to nine hours in front of the mirror, trying just a tilt of the head or a furrow of my eyelash. I mean my body, my face are my tools." - Zoolander


The Let This Person Breed More Award goes to Brian for making sure that Blake left.

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