EPISODE ONE, PART 1From the first moment I heard that this season of The Amazing Race was a Family Edition race I’ve been iffy about it. To me the race has always worked so perfectly in teams of two I just couldn’t see any reason to change it and also, most importantly, I have issues with families – espesh happy, gleamy, white-toothed families of four.
Having grown up as an only child in a single parent divorced family I find foursomes very annoying – partly ‘cos I’m sure I’d feel smothered in one and partly out of wishing I knew what it’s like to have loads of immediate family members you know can rely on no matter what you do.
Not that you always can of course – which is the other issue I have. On the outside such families may look like they’re ideal but so often you just never know what dirt lies beneath – like that family of
Gaghan pigs with the two smallest kids who are clearly brats ‘cos of getting to travel overseas all the time.
I have issues with children who get to do this too because I never did and from what I can work out it’s becoming more and more of a status symbol amongst youngsters – all of which just generally sucks.
Also I’m convinced that that Gaghan father is hiding dark murderous secrets like Tim Robbins did in the movie Arlington Road. There’s something about the salt and pepper of his hair on the sides of his cap and a flicker in his eyes that reminds me of Tim Robbins when he gets crazy.
I was pleased when I realised that I needn’t have been worried about the season sucking - within moments of it starting with the families being introduced I was swept into huge loathing and also, them being groups the way they are I found it much easier to get to know who’s who pronto – like
the Black family – once you’ve seen them once you’re sorted.
All I can say is thankfully them and the Soprano’s x 2 are there for a hint of the cosmopolitan - without them all the rest of them would be just be waay too American to cope. I have nothing against Americans but again, it’s to do with the family thing, when they’re in big tanned, gene-pool groups like that I just have this overwhelming urge to slap them.
So it is the new season of TAR started by introducing all these things, Phil’s left eyebrow went more beserk than it’s ever been, he spoke very slowly, then he counted down the start and they were off flying across the field, brilliantly tripping all over the place – with one of the crowd almost ripping off her ear.
Fancy product placement cars were parked ready and waiting for them to make their way through New York where they firstly had to find Soho, then they had to take themselves 90 blocks to find a hotdog stand manned by TAR Season 1 racers Kevin and Drew – which only one racer realised.
There was chaos for an extended amount of time as some of the teams got lost navigating the streets of New York. Team by team they arrived at the hotdog stand where they got their second clue which instructed them to travel to Washington Historic Park in Pennsylvania. I was freaked by this - I thought Pennsylvania was on the other side of the US – I don’t know where but I had no clue it was right next door to New York like it is.
Teams had to get to the park, take a rowing boat across the Delaware River, which George Washington crossed doing important stuff and on the other side they had to bring back a flag and watch dudes in George rig outs fold it.
At this point everyone got emotional, madly wanting to touch the flag and carry it off before getting their next clue which sent them to Belmont Plateau, where they’ll all be spending the night, which we didn’t get to see.
Instead everything was going along one moment and next moment it just stopped mid-way, leaving everything in an unatisfying anti-climax. Luckily there were some interesting things in and around it like the fact that the mafioso Aiello family were suddenly in the lead when it seemed impossible.
I was convinced that that father wasn’t going to be able to move an inch and yet they paced it across that river - which does make sense when you consider they've probably done it before with bodies and concrete stones I suppose.
I must say I was quite pleased that they took over the lead from the perfect looking
Linz's - with the triplet brothers and super-fit teased sister. I was disappointed in the widowed
Weavers though - I empathised with their whole set-up of being a one parent family etc until they committed the serious no-no of going on about the Lord in the very first episode.
I’ve made a pact with myself that any team that uses religion in a reality TV show ever again can only be on my hitlist and they just did it way too soon for me even to consider not sticking to my plan. It doesn’t mean I’m not impressed with the way the chick in their team drives though – that’s the thing – knowing the families is easy but their individual names are gonna take forever because as yet I don’t know one.
As for who struck me as being my immediate faves I quite enjoyed the whooping of the
Sex And The City bunch of sisters. I don’t reckon I’ll ever be able to tell them apart but that’s not necessarily a crisis. I wasn’t crazy about the Fattis and Monis
Paulo crowd – that mother - I don’t see how she’s not gonna want to be back in the kitchen in a few days.
I also liked the
Schroeder’s from the moment they said they know everything and that no-one else is right. The fathers sense of humour ‘round the handicapped was hysterical, highlighting so many social things and also the way everyone gets along so well with the mom being a Step is very impressive.
From what I’ve heard and seen that’s not the easiest thing just to happen and yet from the looks of it it has with them – I’m hoping they’ll go into more detail about it, like where their real mother is.
As things currently are the Aiello's are in the lead with the Paulo’s right at the back. Or are they? I don’t know, whatever – it doesn’t matter - everything’s in status between this week and next and as we know anything can change in a moment.